A/n: Hey guys! I'm new to FanFiction and this is my first story and I'm pretty excited but very nervous. My sister and many of my friends encouraged me to publish this so I hope you like it. my grammar is not perfect but I try my best. This will be very confusing but there is a reason behind all of this.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or the characters and I do not own the schools that are mentioned.

Prologue:

"Clary Morgenstern," The principle announced in the microphone to call me onstage for my diploma. Today I was graduating high school and as much as I would have probably not admitted a few months ago, I'm actually going to miss it. I met my boyfriend here and I grew up in Los Angles. I'm really going to miss my busy town but I'm going to New York so not that much of a change right? Plus my boyfriend is going with me so at least I'll have a huge part of my life with me.

As I walked up the stage I could hear my boyfriend, my mom, Luke, and a few other friends cheering me on. It faded away quickly though seeing as the graduation was held outside on the football field. I accepted my diploma but something was wrong. Principle Imogen looked at me with pity and I was confused but she quickly recomposed herself and smiled like nothing was wrong. Weird, she never gave pity to anyone and especially not to me or my boyfriend. She knew we were the young "meant to be" type of couple and she always hated us. I personally think the old hag was jealous.

When I walked back downstage and to my seat, I couldn't stop wondering why the principle looked at me like that. Maybe she would just miss me too much and thought me and my boyfriend would break up after today. As the rest of my class of 2014 accepted their diplomas I droned them out to think about my dad and my brother.

When I was only eight years old and my brother, Jonathan, was ten, we all went out to get some ice cream. I remember that day so accurately that I can still taste the ice cream, smell the smell of our brand new Cadillac, and hear my father's laughter. It was pretty late that night around nine thirty and every one was out on the late Friday evening in the middle of summer, partying and drinking. My dad was laughing and distracted at me and Jonathan bickering about our ice cream that he didn't see the truck speeding towards the driver's side of the car. The truck driver was highly intoxicated and the police said no matter what we would have been hit and it could have killed us all.

That night I lost my brother and my dad because they were both on the driver's side. My mom and I only had minor injuries and a deep loss that we can never loose sitting in our hearts. I never visited the graves of my father, Valentine Morgenstern and my brother, Jonathan Morgenstern. They were my family, my best friends, and it would have hurt too much to look at the permanent reminder sitting on the ground that I lost them forever. As if not seeing them every day was not enough and there was no way anyone could have dragged me then or now or ever.

But time heals wounds and as my mom had to turn into a happily married wife of two into a widow of one, I tried my best to be there for her. She eventually got together with her childhood friend Luke and she's finally happy and so am I. He's like a father to me.

When I heard them call my boyfriend on stage I quickly cheered along with most likely the whole student body. My boyfriend was popular and I was proud that he chose me instead of one of the bimbos we go to school with. But who am I to judge, most of those bimbos ended up as my friends. Isabelle for example, she never pegged me for the nice type of person but ended up my friend after a few cookies and a cupcake (don't ask). Yeah, it's going to be really hard to say goodbye to this place.

After everyone had accepted their diplomas and our valedictorian, Jace Wayland, spoke about how we all changed throughout the course of our educational career. He was right, we are truly different people than the little children that we once were thirteen years ago. I looked over at one of my long time best friends, Raphael, and could tell that he wasn't ready to leave either. I don't really think any of us were ready to move on but this is life and we have to take it on.

As Jace ended his moving speech, my class was in an uproar at the milestone we just came through. Everyone got up from their seats and this is the part I was truly dreading. Yes, the boring and very dreadful graduation was over but I'm 5'2 and I'm a year younger than everyone else. When my brother and my father died I put all my effort into my schoolwork and managed to skip a grade in middle school but in doing so, I was always the shortest and the youngest.

My fiery red hair was starting to get in my way and I could no longer see over anyone. I think I saw Sebastian trying to get to me through the endless sea of people but I wasn't sure. But as soon as I spotted Jace with his sister and older brother, Isabelle and Alec Lightwood, I immediately walked over. Jace was adopted by Isabelle and Alec's parents at a young age but he still considered them family and expected everyone else to as well. They ended up being my second family too after spending so much time with Isabelle and being so close to Jace.

"Have you seen mom and Luke," I asked Jace. He only shook his head in response and looked deeply into my emerald eyes.

"No but I can tell there's something bothering you and I know it has to do with your father and your brother. Stop blaming yourself for a second and relax. I'm sure they're really proud of you," he told me. He was right in so many ways and he knew me so well that it scared me sometimes.

"He's right you know, you need to stop blaming yourself. It will only make the pain worse," A familiar voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Sebastian Verlac standing so close to me that I almost face planted his chest. I huffed and turned around clearly not amused that Jace and Sebastian know me so well. I have known them my practically my whole life but they still get on my nerves with all the lecturing. Am I really that easy to read? Of course I am, I blush at any given moment, I draw when I'm nervous, and I practically fume when I'm mad but everyone does that right? The only different thing about me is I blush a certain shade depending on my mood.

I still couldn't see any of our parents anywhere so I just turned back to the group. Everyone seemed to be in an immense conversation with each other and didn't pay me any mind so I walked over to the bathrooms to go change out of my robe. As I was setting my robe on the bathroom sink, I got the sudden urge to be sick so I ran into a stall and poured the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I think the morning heat and the robe was making me so hot that taking the robe off so quickly was giving me intense hot flashes. I quickly flushed the toilet and turned around to splash cold water in my face when I remembered something. Something no one should forget.

I was about to run right out of the bathroom when Isabelle stormed in having trouble with her robe. I stopped dead in my tracks and pretended like nothing was wrong so I could get her out of the robe and talk to her for a minute. Thankfully she didn't hear me puking so at least I didn't have to worry about that.

"Isabelle, do you think later you could help me with a little problem I'm having?" She eyed me skeptically before answering.

"What kind of problem could you be having?"

"I'll explain later but I just need to know you'll help and I may need someone to help me." She seemed to contemplate my offer for a moment before accepting what I was asking.

"Of course, you know you can always ask me for help and I will give it to you especially if It's boy trouble," she winked at me before walking out of the bathroom to join our friends.

"Something like that," I muttered low enough that she couldn't hear me. It was then that I completely saw what she was wearing. It was a spaghetti strap red cocktail dress, accenting her dark, long black hair, just barely above the knees and the straps crisscrossed in the back showing off her tan, broad arm muscles. Her dress was heart-shaped in the front and showed off her perfect sculpted body. She was so sexy compared to what I was wearing which was a simple dark green, strapless dress that also was just above the knee and fit tightly at the top but fanned out near the bottom. It didn't show anything because, well, I don't have the stuffing like everyone else and I'm pale as cauliflower.

Approaching our friends, we realized that our parents finally arrived and looked as exhausted as everyone else. Sebastian and Jace were on the ground glaring at each other every chance they could get. I never understood why they didn't like each other. Alec and his boyfriend Magnus were standing off to the side obviously arguing about whatever they argue about. My mom, Luke, Robert and Maryse lightwood, and the Verlac's were in a deep conversation until they noticed me and Isabelle approach them.

"Finally you guys show up, we were worried we would never get to go home. It's like a sauna out here," Mrs. Verlac complained. Mrs. Verlac was never a happy person and even one of the happiest moments in her son's life didn't seem to bring the joy to her evil soul.

"Yes, it's glad you finally joined us girls. You both look beautiful today," My mother said while having an agreeing response from Maryse.

"They do look all grown up don't they Jocelyn?" She asked my mother.

"Brace yourself," Isabelle silently whispered to me. We backed away watching our mothers dwell in their own sorrow as we turned to the boys on the ground. I noticed my boyfriend was not looking at me very much and when he did it was usually with guilt or with hatred. What did I do today? Is this national confusing Clary day with simultaneous glances? I haven't done anything wrong so I was going to have to sort this out later.

I turned to my boyfriend and asked him, "Are you still going to the party later?" Tonight all of the class of 2014 is going to being going to a legendary Magnus Bane party later to celebrate.

"I don't know," he shrugged. Something seemed off about him. He was fine when I went into the bathroom but now he changed all the sudden. He was giving me the cold shoulder and I didn't like it so I just walked away hoping that I would see him later to get some answers.

"Clary darling how nice of us to join you and what a dull dress you have on! No sparkles, no fireworks, just... you and that's a pity. It would have been so beautiful." I rolled my eyes. Magnus was never one to disappoint when it came to fashion. He would always tell you the honest truth about everything.

"Sometimes not everyone can be a sparkly unicorn like you Magnus," I told him.

"Well I don't believe in unicorns but if they're sparkly then, I guess I can deal with them. Especially with the horn on their head. That would make for an interesting situation if someone were to be bent over and it was mad and..."

"Okay, okay I think I get the very disturbing picture Magnus," I said hopefully cutting him off so he wouldn't continue. Alec looked very amused at our conversation at first but now was looking a little green. Isabelle was messing with something on her shirt and didn't seem to be giving us any mind until she spoke.

"You know Magnus, it's funny how you say that would be an interesting situation when to you, it would be quite normal. Right Alec?" Now Alec looked like he was going to faint and Magnus was slightly annoyed. I gave Isabelle a high five and walked back over to my parents asking them to take me home, promising Isabelle I would see her later. I didn't say anything to my boyfriend in fear that he would get angry with me so I just left him alone.

*-Page break-*

Tonight, I was going to have fun but I'm not sure drinking would be a good idea. I kept feeling sick all morning but it went away so two times in a row of throwing up does not sound ideal to me. Especially since I leave for New York later tomorrow.

I was getting ready in the bathroom, curling my hair, when a knock sounded on the door. I set my curler down and opened the door revealing a very out of breath Isabelle. This wasn't going to be good.

"Time to get gorgeous!" She quickly grabbed my curler and went to work on my hair. I just kind of stood there unsure of what to do because you can't fight Isabelle when she has her mind set on something. She finished my hair but moved me from the mirror so I couldn't see what it looked like.

"I want you to be surprised at what you'll look like. It's not every day you dress up and now we will make you something to remember."

"Izzy, you and I both know I am a hopeless case when it comes to beauty."

"Shut up and let me do your makeup. You are not hopeless," She scoffed. She was right and I knew she was but I would never admit it. As soon as she finished my makeup she put me in a strapless, midnight purple, almost chokingly tight fitted dress that was so short, I was afraid to bend over. It had a bunch of sparkles and resembled the night sky. Magnus would be pleased. To complete the look, she put me in six inch, black Steven Madden heels after my endless voice of protest.

Then, I finally got to look in the mirror. I was shocked. I looked absolutely stunning with the dark gray smoky eye shadow accenting my emerald green eyes and the dark purple dress accenting my dark red, curly hair. I was pleased with the final product.

"Told you so. Now you should be more grateful about how beautiful you really look. Sit down and be careful while I go get ready and don't. Ruin. The dress." I rolled my eyes yet again for the billionth time today and picked up my sketchpad and my pencil and began to draw. I was so lost in the drawing that I didn't hear Isabelle walk in.

"Get up zombie princess you're drooling," She snapped. "We're late and we need to leave, like, now." I immediately snapped out of my trance and saw what I was drawing. It was a picture of me and my boyfriend in New York, happy, older, and we had a little boy which would be our son walking between us. I smiled to myself hoping that would come true someday. I looked up at Isabelle noticing we looked exactly the same except her eye shadow was a bright blue.

"I need to run an errand first. That's part of what I need you to help me with."

"Okay, absolutely, just let me find my handbag and we'll be ready to go."

After five minutes of endless searching we eventually found it and headed to the car. We ran my errand and immediately went to the party. Isabelle didn't do the errand with me but I had a reason. When we went inside Magnus' house I trudged through the sea of bodies, trying to find my boyfriend only to end up empty handed. He obviously wasn't here.

The music was pulsing so hard I could barely form a coherent thought until I spotted Isabelle. I walked over and dragged her up the stairs to the nearest bathroom and sat on the closed toilet seat.

"Clary, what's wrong?" She asked me with concern in her voice.

"This is why I needed you," I told her. I opened my handbag and revealed a box. She immediately looked at me with understanding and let me do my thing. After I finished, I went outside the bathroom to calm myself only to run into my boyfriend.

"We need to talk," He immediately said, dragging me into the nearest bedroom with almost a painful grip on my arm. I had the sudden urge to yelp but held it in looking at the scary expression on his face. He closed the door and turned towards me suddenly looking very calm. Scary calm.

"Look Clary, I wish it didn't have to be this way and I love you so much but we can't be together anymore. I got a call after graduation that I have a full scholarship to Indiana University and they want me to play soccer there so I accepted. I know I told you that we were going to NYU together but let's be realistic. You and I both know this was never going anywhere and that none of it should have happened and to be honest? I regret meeting you. You cheated on me Clary. Did you think I wasn't going to find out? Well I hope your happy because this is goodbye."

I was so shocked that I couldn't form a single word. There were silent tears streaming down my face. I knew I should tell him but I knew he deserved happiness if what I thought was true. Maybe this would be for the best for him and me. For us. He stared at me looking so heartbroken compared to the anger his voice portrayed and then he left the room.

The only boy I loved. The only boy I ever loved just left me. He took my heart, my soul, my virginity and those were things I could never have back because I knew I would never love anyone else. I put my head up though, knowing that I had to be strong. I walked back over to the bathroom and ignored Isabelle's questions. I looked down and started to cry harder.

"I'm all alone Izzy, he thinks I cheated on him so he left me."

"Oh my god you can't do this on your own! I'm going to kill that bastard for being so naive."

"No, I can and I will do this on my own. This is my responsibility and he deserves his happiness."

"You are too kind hearted Clary. Now that he won't be there for you, I will." I looked up and shook my head.

"I could never ask that of you. You have a scholarship to Harvard!"

"Friends come first and right now, you need me." I just gave up and nodded my head while she held me, listening to me cry. I had Izzy now and I wasn't sure if this was a good thing but at least it was a start. I was going to go to NYU and go through collage the best I could. I needed a job and an apartment but with Izzy's help, we'll get it done. I knew my now ex-boyfriend should be happy and he would be without me. That's what he wanted.

I got up and Izzy took me home after discarding our now completed task and I started to pack. Izzy stayed for a while but went home to start on her own stuff as well as breaking the news to her family. She wasn't going to tell them what happened and she wasn't telling them where she was going. We agreed that this would be our secret.

I was heartbroken but I knew this was for the best. I could and I will get through this the best I can. I would never talk to my mom, Luke, Sebastian, Raphael, Jace, the Lightwoods, or anyone, ever again. I need to protect myself and that's what Izzy said was best. Dragging her into this wasn't fair to her but she said she wanted to do this a million times. I believed I was going to be okay.

My life would be better now because I am pregnant and I will do anything to keep my baby safe. No one can know because if they do, I would not want their last thoughts to be of the seventeen year old girl who got pregnant and is now without the father. It would be better this way.

A/n: So what do you think? Good, bad, I just need to give up writing all together and live in a cave? It was long for a first chapter but I thought it was necessary. I also know some of it is confusing but I will keep some of the secrets to myself and please know that I have a purpose and a plan for all of this. Review if you want me to continue because I'm not sure if I will or not. I'm open to any suggestions. Thank You!

~DarkMeadows1026~