DISCLAIMER: S.E. Hinton owns all the characters from the book that are in this story.
I remember when I was younger and Shelly and I would sit outside in the backyard playing with Hanley our golden retriever. I was three and a half years old, and my sister Shelly was two, we used to watch the sun fall below the fence towards the west. That was the last memory I had of Shelly as a regular toddler, from then on growing up was a trial after trial as Shelly was diagnosed with what is known as a more severe form of Autism. This syndrome is a neurodevelopmenal disorder that affects girls almost exclusively. It is characterized by normal early growth and development followed by a slowing of development, loss of purposeful use of the hands, distinctive hand movements, slowed brain and head growth, problems with walking, seizures, and intellectual disability. My parents were definitely considered rich, my father being a doctor, and my mother staying home. Though, my mom was never home, she was always at the country club with friends or out during her thing, she left a nanny home to take care of Shelly and I. I was about seven when the realization hit me; my parents didn't love Shelly like they loved me. It broke my heart as I felt more and more compelled to always be there for Shelly.
That was the start to a very long road to my secret life at home. As I grew older I kept my life at home even more of a secret. I wasn't ashamed of Shelly at all, but I felt like it was the only way to protect her from the friends I had at school who were very judgmental. I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where society has been divided into two severe groups, there was the socs; wealthy rich kids who look down upon anyone who is different. Then there were the greasers; poor hoodlums who stole and picked fights, who skipped classes and were always in detention. These two groups were rivals and hated each other; they would fight and jump each other without any reason. I was labeled as a Soc by my peers, which wasn't really okay with me. I held no ill feelings towards these so called greasers.
Everyday after school I would go straight home to Shelly and Patricia, the nanny, to take over her job. On the weekends Patricia wouldn't work so I took care of Shelly by myself. I'm sixteen now, and ever since I was four I've been looking out for my sister, first in smaller ways, but now, I'm taking over the position of her mother. It wasn't always easy for me either, some nights I'd cry myself to sleep in anger and sadness, because although I loved my sister, I also felt sometimes it was her fault that I no longer had a mother either. I knew it wasn't Shelly's fault though, it was just the frustrations coming out, I was really mad at my mother who I couldn't find an ounce of respect for because she never gave Shelly a chance.
This year has been really hard, while Shelly's disorder has been a struggle to deal with, it was livable. What came along with the disorder were the seizures. It's been scary not knowing what will happen to her, if she will be okay during the night. While the seizures increase, other things got better as well, her communication skills increased and her attention span widened along with less crying and less irritability. School for me was my escape, were life wasn't as hard. I loved school.
"Are you even listening to me?" Jackie asked exasperated as I looked up from my history notes. I blushed sheepishly knowing I had completely zoned out during her rant.
"I'm sorry; I just really need to pull my grade up. What were you saying?" I focused my attention on her and ignored the notes I should have been taking.
"I was saying James and Lance wanted to take us to the movies tomorrow night," Jackie prattled on as I again started to tune her out a little bit. Was it me or did this all just sound a little annoying, did we all just have nothing better to talk about?
"I'm sorry I can't," I cut in during her tirade on what sort of outfit she would wear. "You know my parents like me home on the weekend to spend family time," I continued. Jackie gave me a dry look, which I blatantly ignored.
"Can't you talk your parents into letting you spend one Friday night out?" She asked curtly. I shrugged as the bell rang and gathered my things heading out the door; Jackie following clearly not going to let the subject drop. She was really starting to grate on my nerves and for once I began to wish school would end soon.
"Jackie, I can't so just drop it okay," I snapped irritated as I turned and headed off to my last class English. It was my favorite class, none of my soc friends were in it which was very relaxing. I sat down in my seat and instantly relaxed.
My English class was an honors class so I was one of the youngest as a sophmore, except for a freshman. He was a greaser, lived on the East side of town. He was pretty handsome, or so I thought, and he was extremely nice too. His name was Ponyboy Curtis, we shared a desk in that class, even though he was a year younger. Ponyboy and I became pretty good friends, he wouldn't talk to me outside of the class, but I think it was only because he was shy. Ponyboy had two older brothers, Darry and Sodapop. Ponyboy and I really hit it off when we met; he's the only one of my friends who knows about Shelly, mostly because I feel like he's the only one who would understand.
"Hey Cae," Ponyboy said as he set his books down and slid into his chair. I looked up and smiled. Ponyboy's hair was greased back as always but had a small wisp out of place. Ponyboy was pretty messed up after his two friends died, he'd start forgetting things and he wouldn't pay attention. He's gotten a little bit better though, still sometimes I'd see him and he'd be a little out of it. I don't know what I would do if I lost Shelly.
"Hey Ponyboy, how was your day?" I asked reaching over and smoothed down the misplaced hair.
"It's been alright, nothin' special," He gave me his usual lazy grin which I was almost positive he got from his friend Two-Bit who I've seen him hanging around with. "How 'bout you?" He shot back pulling out his notebook for that class.
"Jackie's been on my case about going out Friday night, wants me to double date with her and these two guys," I gave a small face of exasperation before laughing with Ponyboy. I could tell he wasn't quite sure how to respond.
"Well, how's Shelly doing anyway?" He sat up a bit waiting for an answer. Ever since I told Ponyboy about Shelly he's always seemed to take an interest in how she's been. They were close to the same age, Ponyboy was a little bit older but not by much.
"She's doing pretty good," I smiled remembering a little of yesterday. "She enjoys hearing about you," I paused looking down at my books. "Maybe someday you could, I don't know, stop by and meet her?" It came out as a question as I was slightly worried about his answer. I kept my gaze down on my desk.
"I'd like that," He smiled, or so I think he did, normally I could tell by the sound of his voice. I looked up and indeed he was smiling. I grinned back and then class started and we both focused on taking notes and listening to the teacher.
When class ended I couldn't help but give Ponyboy a hug before I left, I was really happy. I was excited about getting home to tell Shelly the news. I ran to my locker to get my books and then went outside to head home. I always walked, I had my license, but I didn't really feel like using my car that my parents got for me to travel just a mile to and from school. I liked to walk better. I walked home wondering if Ponyboy meeting Shelly was a good idea, or if it was just a rotten one. I trusted Ponyboy, but I had no idea how Shelly would react to him. When I got home Shelly greeted me with a hug.
"Hey Caelyn," Shelly said excitedly, I smiled down at her and hugged back. She was doing pretty well, her communication has gotten a lot better, and she stopped yanking my hair when she was angry and irritable when nobody could understand her.
"Guess who asked about you today," I led my sister towards the couch as we both sat down and I played with her hair while she sat and listened. I told her about my talk with Ponyboy today and I could tell she was smiling without even having to look at her face. "Ponyboy wants to meet you Shell, what do you think? Doesn't that sound fun?" I asked starting to braid her hair. Her response sent a shiver of fear down my spine,
"But I'm not normal," She said. There was such absolution in her voice I felt the need to cry and I wondered why on earth she would think that. I turned her around to face me.
"What makes you think that? Shelly there is nothing wrong with you," I pulled her into my lap hugging her, not just for her but for myself. I spent the afternoon ignoring my homework to be with Shelly and I made dinner for us that night before putting her to bed.
Dread filled me as I lay in my own bed all sorts of explanations coming to my mind as to why Shelly would possibly think that of herself. I closed my eyes in hopes that tomorrow would be better.