Three-way Battle! Sanin vs. Sanin vs. Sanin
A Naruto Parody
Something crazy I thought of one day. Based on the volume where the Sanin fight each other, though technically Jiraya doesn't fight Tsunade…but hey, it's a parody. My very first fanfic ever. I'm so excited! It's a bit insane, but I hope you like it and laugh out loud.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, any names, characters, or related Naruto things. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Tsunade:
Kuchiyouse! Summoning Jutsu! Summon…
(Big poof of smoke)
Dusty Rug!
(Tsunade standing on top of an old, giant, dusty rug)
Orochimaru:
Ha, do you honestly think that will stop me, Tsu-cough-na-cough-de?
(COUGH, COUGH, COUGH)
Dammit, why didn't I bring my inhaler? Cough, cough
Kuchiyose! Summoning Jutsu! Summon…
(Big poof of smoke)
Giant Cake!
(Orochimaru standing on a giant cake, struggling to try and not sink in it)
Jiraya:
(Appears out of nowhere)
Leave Tsunade alone! If she dies, I have to become Hokage! And there's no way that's happening!
(Sees cake)
Ooo…cake…one of my many weaknesses!
(Goes toward it)
Wait, I can't, I have Diabetes…
Orochimaru:
Come on Jiraya, it's chocolate!
(Jiraya runs toward cake and starts eating it)
I hope you brought your insulin…not!
Tsunade:
Jiraya, you fat pig! I don't need saving!
Jiraya:
(Stops eating cake)
You can call me a pervy sage,
You can insult the third and fourth Hokages,
You can even kill me,
But NOBODY CALLS ME A FAT PIG!
Kuchiyose! Summoning Jutsu! Summon…
(Big poof of smoke)
Asphalt Road!
(Jiraya standing on top of a huge asphalt road)
Tsunade:
Ack! I'm allergic to asphalt!
(Breaks out in Hives)
The Sanin go all-out battling, until-
Naruto:
Kuchiyose! Summoning Jutsu! Summon…
(Big poof of smoke)
Nine-tailed Lox!
(Giant salmon with nine tails appears)
(Lox is a word for smoked salmon)
All Sanin:
(Stop fighting)
Yummy! Lox!
(Run to it and eat it)
(All spit it out)
Ewwwwwwwww, what did you cook it with?
Naruto:
Cook? You're supposed to cook it? How the hell am I supposed to find a stove that big? Well, I guess I could convince Sasuke to use his fire jutsu on it…
HEYYY! SASUKEEEEEEE!!!! BELIEVE IT!
Sasuke:
(In Konoha Hospital)
OH! The Naruto call!
(Sasuke jumps out of bed, despite being in a coma, and runs to Naruto, who is in another town)
Sasuke:
What the hell do you want?
Naruto:
Hey, could you use your fire jutsu on a giant nine-tailed salmon?
Sasuke:
Why the hell would I want to do that?
Naruto:
(Holding emo clothes)
I have new emo wear!
Sasuke:
Ooo, emo wear! Ah…nah. I'm too emo to accept emo clothes from a non-emo person.
(Leaves)
Naruto:
Darn. Well, at least I flavored it with rat poisoning!
All 3:
RAT POISONING?!!!
(Run to Konoha Hospital)
Naruto:
(Looks at bottle of 'Rat poisoning')
Oh, wait, this is just aspirin…
And that's how Naruto won against the Sanin.