a/n: Written for this prompt: (from spideypoolfanfics tumblr)
Since Peter is actually so strong that he has to pull punches when he punches bad guys otherwise he could kill them, I want that to happen with Wade and Peter. Like, Wade tries to get all up in Peter's space and there are those times where Peter just acts on instinct or becomes super flustered and punches/kicks him hard enough to actually kill him and he freaks out and apologizes profusely for it.
Spider-Man ducked the blow from the closest ninja.
Seriously. Ninjas. In New York. And not just any ninjas. Robot ninjas.
Robot. Ninjas.
Peter wasn't quite sure if he was surprised or not. He'd fought much more surprising things. Dinosaurs, the Hulk. So he guessed he wasn't too surprised.
"Hey, so as robots, do you guys have like… a logical argument as to why ninjas are better than pirates? Cos I've been trying to win this fight with a friend and somehow 'because they're ninjas' just doesn't cut it."
He was geeking out, just slightly. Probably.
When a sword nearly chopped off his ear, he decided he'd figure out his feelings later.
He kicked one of them and ducked another.
Before he could counter-attack, a screeching whistle pierced the fight. Peter covered his ears and crouched, the noise wreaking havoc with his senses.
When he finally pulled himself together again, he was alone.
"Ninjas," he muttered angrily, looking around.
Nothing except…
He ducked down to examine a sash on the ground, and as he did so, his spidey-sense went off.
In a panic his legs kicked out from underneath him, hitting the assailant square in the chest.
Instead of stopping and doing that cool skidding thing that ninjas do, the attacker hit the far wall with a loud crack.
A distinctive not-ninja-robot crack.
And he recognised that red figure.
"Wade!"
He hadn't…he didn't mean… Robot ninjas.
"Wade," he said again as he reached the other man. He cradled the man's head.
Damn, damn, damn.
Was that blood?
He pulled off Wade's mask and examined the wound.
He closed his eyes as he checked Wade's pulse.
He was dead.
Peter took a few ragged breaths. He had killed his boyfriend. That was definitely way up on the 'Bad Things for Boyfriends to Do' list.
He pressed his forehead against Wade's as the full reality sunk in.
He had killed someone.
Someone he cared about.
His fists clutched at Wade's outfit.
There was a groan. "Hey baby boy, did I miss something?"
Peter gave a shaky laugh and held him tighter. "Ninja robots. Wade, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…"
Wade sat up and scratched the back of his head. "It's fine. I think you actually cracked my back for me. Feels good." He paused. "Peter? You can let go of my clothes now."
"Wade I killed you."
Deadpool tried to pry Peter off him, to no avail. "Lots of people have killed me. Logan does it all the time. It how he shows love."
"I've never….I mean…"
Wade pulled Spidey on his lap. "There, there, Petey." He slipped his hand up the back of Peter's mask and petted his hair. "It's okay."
Peter shook his head. "Wade, I…"
Wade pulled up Peter's mask to expose his mouth and kissed him. "Poor Spidey. If it'd make you feel better, you can be my personal nurse." He indicated Peter's spandex. "Get you a nice nursing outfit. You can handfeed me and give me massages and therapeutic sex." He gave a lustful moan. "Nursemaid Peter with backrubs and sex. Ooh," he added. "We can do that Sex and the City scene with the Candy Stripper. Ooh dominoes." He kissed Peter's neck. "Can't wait."
Peter bit his lip. "Okay."
Wade blinked. "What?" Peter wasn't supposed to agree. Peter was supposed to call him an idiot and push him away.
"Okay." Peter repeated forcefully. "Wade, I killed you."
[So he keeps saying.]
Wade sighed and jumped up, fluidly switching Peter to bridal style and picking up his mask. "Home," he declared.
~
Peter sat on the edge of their bed with red rimmed eyes, as Wade ran a bath.
He still wasn't sure why Peter was having such a strong reaction.
Wade had killed and been killed for as long as he could remember. Though his memory had always been sketchy and he had probably made up half of his life story.
He lit a few candles. They'd help Peter relax. Along with the bath oils and the incense. And the massage oil, and the pizza with Peter's favourite toppings. If that didn't make Peter feel better, he didn't know what would.
He went back to Peter. "Strip," he commanded.
Peter gave him a weak smile. "I thought I was supposed to be the nurse."
Wade shook his head. "Emotional trauma first."
Peter undressed quickly and Wade picked him up and carried him into the bath. After Peter was comfortable, Wade stripped as well and joined him.
"Mmm," Peter said as Wade wrapped his arm around him. He rested his head against Wade's scarred chest. "This is nice."
"Yeah, and all it took was me dying." Wade quipped.
Peter tensed. "Wade…."
[Smooth move, idiot.]
Deadpool ran a wet hand through Peter's hair. "Want a massage?"
"I'm fine."
"Pizza? It's your favourite."
Peter shook his head.
Wade made a sad noise. "Spidey."
Peter blinked at him. "Sorry."
Wade glared back. "Stop saying that."
"Sor-" he stopped himself and buried his face back in his chest.
Wade kissed his head. "I'm fine baby boy."
[Except the, you know, cancerous cells eating at our body. And the insanity.]
Peter looked up at him and kissed him, sliding onto Wade's lap. "Perhaps I should give you a massage."
Wade grinned and there was a splashing as Wade repositioned the two of them so that Peter was behind him.
Peter laughed and grabbed the oil, pouring it over Wade's back.
Wade moaned as Peter began working out the kinks, tracing Wade's scars lightly.
In return Wade ran his fingers across Peter's leg and tilted his head for a kiss.
Peter gave him a small smile. "Hey."
"Hey."
"Better?"
"I was going to ask you that."
Peter hugged him. "Yeah, I just…"
"If you apologise again, I'm leaving you," Wade threatened.
Peter gave him a sardonic smile. "I'll get through it. I'm just glad you're okay."
Wade grinned and turned to face him. "Good, because I do remember you promising me sex."
Peter pulled him close. "I did, didn't I?"
A/N: So I soooorrrrrrttttaaa want to continue it. Like, do the whole Peter-in-a-nursemaid-outfit and Wade being in his own little version of paradise and then maybe bump the rating up to explicit. But I'll see what feedback I get first. So if you want me to write more, please comment or let me know on my tumblr.