*Starlight in Our Souls*
Last time on "The Companion Project":
Jack: "What if we got all the Doctor's former companions together in one place, to thank him for all the good he's done?"
Martha: "Amy and Rory Pond, welcome to 2013."
Jack: "River, I'm not going to give this up because you have this preconceived notion of what love is!"
Rose: "I think one of the side effects of the Bad Wolf is not aging. I was also shot by a Galravian poison bullet. When I woke up, I was fine, but John was dying."
Rose: "I love you too John. And...I'm sorry, y'know, for what I let happen to Char-..."
Image of John: "It wasn't your fault my beautiful girl."
Rose: "I think you're going to be quite alright, Donna Noble."
The Doctor: "Jenny, I thought you were dead, I saw you die!"
Jenny: "Turns out I have a few tricks up my sleeve too. Utah, 2012, really?"
Rose: "You don't have to love me you know, just because you feel guilty about what happened to me. You've been with River for so many years, you like strong women, you always have. I'm not like that. When I give my heart, I give it all."
The Doctor: "Rose, it's true, I did...maybe I still do love River. She was a big part of my life. But if she can realise that she can make her own choices and not fall in love to keep our time lines intact, then I can too. And you know what? You'll always be my choice. Not because I feel guilty, but because I feel like the best man I can be when you're by my side. I always want to feel like that, and I never want it to end."
The Doctor: "Jack, this is the time and the place that River dies."
Jack: "Why are you telling me this?"
The Doctor: "So you can take her place."
The Doctor: "I don't ever plan on abandoning her. No, she won't be able to get rid of me now. The biggest mistake of my life was leaving her and I won't be doing it again, not ever."
Summary: The Doctor feels the happiest he's been in a long time. His friends had brought his dearest companions back to him, whether they were trapped in the past, had their memories erased, or were stuck in an alternate universe. And now he travels with his daughter and the love of his life. Rose continues to struggle with what happened to her and John in the parallel universe, going so far as to hide things from the man she's sure she still loves. One day Jenny is kidnapped, and it's up to the Doctor and Rose to save her...before it's too late. Will their actions do more harm than good? Sequel to The Companion Project. Eleven/Rose, Jenny/?
Rating: T for dark themes, violence, character death, language and sensual themes. Warning: One of the main themes is struggling with the after-effects of miscarriage. If it bothers you, you might want to skip this story.
Prologue – What Could Have Been
"So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are nearly indispensable; and no man is useless when he has a friend." ~Robert Louis Stevenson
One month ago, the TARDIS had been the fullest it had ever been, filled with nine of the Doctor's friends. Ian and Barbara Chesterton, Luke Smith, Clyde Granger, Rani Chandra, Sally Sparrow, Grace Galloway, and finally, his long-lost daughter Jenny, and Rose Tyler, the woman he promised never to leave behind again.
Their first trip had been to the underwater planet of Gallegos. It was entertaining at first, until the globe in the citadel sprung a leak and they were pitted in a race against time not to drown. After that Ian and Barbara had asked to go home. Although they still looked the same as they did back when the Doctor first met them, they still felt old and felt that they should return to their lives. The Doctor dropped them off and bade them farewell with a single tear in his green eyes.
The next stop had been to 1943 for a concert of the big band status, Glenn Miller to be exact. Rose grinned knowingly and gave him a peck on the cheek for being such a romantic. He replied that she made him that way.
Luke and his friends were not overjoyed at hearing what type of music it was, as typical teenagers assume, but were disproved by having a blast. Especially when the conductor turned out to be a murderous shape shifter. Finding the real Glenn Miller had been a challenge in itself, but the extraordinary man was so impressed by Rose's ingenuity in saving his life that he declared their band would do a special rendition of a song specifically for her. Stardust (originally written in 1927) with a brand new arrangement, came out later that year.
"Beside a garden wall
When stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
A paradise where roses bloom
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love's refrain"
After that particular adventure Rani's mum called and the three teens decided to return home. Sally and Grace lasted a few more trips before they bade their farewells as well. Sally returned to her family: Larry and their little daughter Martha. Grace returned to her job at the hospital, still searching for Mr. Right. After all, her stakes had been raised pretty high.
After Grace had left, Rose came up to the Doctor and put her hands on his shoulders, looking deep into his eyes.
"You always act like the loneliest man in the universe when the fact is, it's just the opposite." The Doctor's eyes immediately moistened.
"Sarah said something like that once to me, a long time ago." Rose right off noticed the distress in his eyes and quickly embraced the Time Lord. The Doctor held her tightly to himself and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent he never thought he'd be able to experience again. Even though Jack, Martha and River Song had given him an enormous gift, the best one in the universe in fact, he still missed the woman who couldn't be there, who had known more regenerations of him than anyone else, who had been just one year too soon gone.
The Doctor let it all go with a single thought. He picked Rose up and swung her around. She let out a shout of surprise before bursting into giggles. Once they had stopped spinning they suddenly found themselves lost in each others' eyes, unable to move. It was Jenny who broke the silence.
"Yeah, I miss some of those familiar faces already. Hey I got it, let's visit uncle Jack!" The Doctor spluttered at her statement.
"I have no relation whatsoever to that...that man!" he sounded completely horrified at the subject. Rose giggled at the look on his face.
"I meant in relation to Rose, not you." Rose's laughter immediately died and she found she suddenly couldn't talk. The Doctor spoke for her.
"You do know Jack's not really her brother." It was more of a statement than a question.
"Well, duh." her tone made her sound like a rebellious teenager. "It's just, Uncle Jack is always saying how Rose is the little sister he never had." Not realising the significance of what Jenny was implying, the Doctor returned to flying the TARDIS. Rose however, had been deeply affected by what the Doctor's daughter had said. She came up to the young blonde, smiling through tears, startling Jenny. Rose put her hands on the sides of her face.
"Thank you." Rose said earnestly, before releasing her and departing down the stairs to her room. After she had left Jenny turned to her father.
"What's up with her?"
"Don't worry, I'm on it." He was already walking down the steps after her.
"Dad!" Jenny stopped him. The Doctor turned back to her. "It's not about John. This is something else." The Doctor nodded in understanding, before taking off down the hallway after Rose. Jenny turned back to the console as the Doctor's thud of his boots echoed until it faded away. "Do you know what's wrong with her?" She asked the sentient ship. All she got was a rumble in reply. The Doctor told her it would take a little time to understand the signals the TARDIS gave. Jenny sighed, running her hand along the console behind her. She didn't think her awe of the TARDIS would ever fade. At that thought the TARDIS gave out another rumble, one that Jenny did understand. She smiled.
"Thanks."
It was nearly an hour until Jenny heard her father coming back into the console room. She gave him a questioning look, knowing she wouldn't have to say a word. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"You don't tell anyone, alright?"
"Of course." He waited at least a minute before he spoke.
"You know the story how John and Rose never had kids?"
"Yeah, you told me."
"We weren't compatible enough I guess. Either he was too time lord or I was too Bad Wolf. Either way, nothing worked. We were happy, that's the most important thing."
"What does that have to do with it?" He paused again. This was almost as difficult for him as it was for Rose, Jenny suspected.
"She just told me that was a lie."
"What?" She wasn't expecting that. The Doctor turned away from her and faced the console, leaning onto it and looking up into the time rotor. Hearing Rose declare that she had lied to him wasn't half as painful as hearing the truth from her lips, before she dissolved into a mess of tears.
"She was pregnant when John died."
"What happened?" She was almost afraid to ask.
"She lost the baby due to chronic depression. Her friends and coworkers blamed her, saying she should have thought about the baby and not herself." Jenny was indignant.
"Well, that, that's just not fair! No one knew what she had to go through, just how much she had lost!" The Doctor nodded.
"She...she..." A single tear ran down his cheek and Jenny knew this was the worst. "She nearly took her own life." Jenny gasped. "Thankfully, her family never judged her and they helped her through it. She got a lot better after that, but she still has low points."
"And when I referred that she was related to me..."
"It reminded her of the child she lost and the fact that she most likely can't have children ever again because of the miscarriage. And it was a girl." he sniffed again. "They were going to call her Charity, a symbol of the greatest love in the universe." Jenny raced up and embraced her father.
"Should I go see her?"
"No, no." He spoke into her shoulder. "She just needs some time alone right now." Jenny released him and she nodded.
"Okay. Well, goodnight dad." The Doctor smiled sadly at her as she departed down the stairs and went down the hallway. Rose's room was on the way to Jenny's room, so when Jenny reached Rose's door, she hesitated. Raising a hand, she nearly knocked. She shook her head and changed her mind, racing off to her room. But as she reached the door to her own room, she suddenly had a brilliant idea. She took off farther down the hallway.
The Doctor had a restless night. He kept thinking about the situation with Rose and what he could have done to prevent her pain. He knew he needed to let it go, as Rose had told him she had been perfectly happy in the little time she had with John, and she wouldn't have asked for anything more. Amazingly, she wasn't mad at him for leaving her behind without a choice; she actually appreciated the few years of as close to a normal life as she could get with the man she loved.
Nevertheless, when morning finally came and he knew she would soon be waking up, he went to see her. He knocked on her door and heard a sniffle from inside. With a sigh he entered.
"Rose," he implored.
"I know, I know." She was sitting on her bed, hastily wiping the tears from her eyes. "This is the last time, I swear." The Doctor came up and sat on the bed facing her.
"It kills me to see you cry you know. It makes me feel helpless." Rose reached out and grabbed his hands with her own.
"You're not helpless. You've helped me more than I ever could on my own. I know it's been three years and I thought I was doing better. But seeing her, your daughter, just brings it all back." She closed her eyes and the Doctor knew she was thinking of Charity. He got an idea, something he'd never done before. Placing his fingers on his temples, he took their minds to glimpse at another universe. It sounded impossible, but in reality they weren't even crossing the boundary between universes, merely bouncing off it with brief glimpses at the other side.
Rose gasped as she saw images inside her head. They saw a cute little apartment where a very familiar-looking man and woman lived. The image of John looking so young and healthy made her heart ache with longing. The years passed in a blur, starting first with the alternate Rose pregnant, then the two of them holding their newborn girl, and the Doctor and Rose watched as Charity grew up with dark brown hair and ice blue eyes. They continued to watch as she matured into a beautiful woman.
Then sadly they noticed John begin to age while Rose and Charity stayed the same. The last image was the alternate Rose and Charity embracing each other over John's grave. The Doctor released her temple and the images faded away.
"I would have lost him anyway, but I would always have her." The Doctor nodded.
"That was another universe where John never died and Jack never contacted you."
"They really are together forever then." Seeming to get her closure, she wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. "Y'know, I'm glad Jack got a hold of me, otherwise I wouldn't be with you now." The Doctor smiled.
"Really?" Rose grinned back.
"Yeah." At the same they leaned in towards each other. Rose's lips were slightly salty from her tears but the Doctor thought she had never tasted so good. His fingers caressed the sides of her face as his lips slowly pressed against hers. She opened her mouth and he gladly entered. Fingers fiddled with buttons and zippers until soon nothing stood between them. In a swift move his hands gripped her and lowered her flat onto the mattress below them. He leaned over her and waited for her assent. With a nod, he continued. Rose decided not to feel guilty. After all, she knew in her heart that John would want her to be happy, especially with the Doctor.
Seventeen minutes later (and thirty-eight seconds, yes he counted) they heard a shout and someone racing down the hall towards Rose's room. Jenny didn't even knock as she entered. Her eyes grew wide, seeing her dad with Rose on the bed as they hurried to cover their bodies with blankets. Finally she laughed, not seeming to care.
"Dad, you've got to see this!"
"Can it wait?" He asked with an exasperated tone, pulling the duvet further up over Rose. She shook her head eagerly. The Doctor sighed and grabbed his pants up off the floor. Jenny continued to speak as he pulled them on.
"I was thinking a lot last night, I've never done a DNA test on myself. I never had the equipment and I just assumed I was human and part time lord." She rocked impatiently on the back of her heels. Unable to take it any longer, she took off down the hallway. The Doctor sighed again in an exaggerated tone. Having an energetic daughter seemed to age him. Rose laughed at the expression on his face.
"You better see what she wants or she'll be back here soon."
"Mmm." He looked at her hungrily. "We wouldn't want that now, would we?" he leaned over her and kissed her again. Rose groaned, not wanting to pull away, but she did, giggling at his scowl. "Whose bright idea was it to invite my daughter on board?"
"Yours as I recall." She giggled again and the Doctor joined in with her.
"Stay here, it's probably nothing." He grabbed his shirt and left for the Med Bay.
"Took you long enough." Jenny said as he entered.
"Well, you pulled me away from some very important work."
"Yeah," she didn't believe him. "and how was that going?" The Doctor 'tutted' at her.
"You're way too young to know of such things."
"I'm six years old!" She retorted with a grin. The Doctor smiled back and ruffled her hair, which was let out of her normal pony tail and slightly wet from the shower she had taken earlier.
"Alright, now show me what you found." Jenny pulled a screen over for him to see.
"First, I took a blood sample and it showed what I initially thought I was, what you thought I was." She hit a few buttons on the keyboard. The blood sample zoomed in until they could see her DNA. The Doctor nodded, already expecting this.
"Human with a strand of TNA. So?" She hit one more button and it zoomed into the time lord strand. Instead of three regular strands, two of them were normal, but one of them was shining gold.
"What the hell is that?" The Doctor took over the keyboard to make it rotate so he could see it from all sides.
"The time vortex with a specific identification." The Doctor turned to her sharply in realization. Jenny nodded, confirming what he was suspecting. A grin spread wide over his face.
"I guess I better order a maternity test." Jenny grinned back at him, laughing.
"I guess you better."
Miscarriage is a serious thing. I have a friend whose sister had a miscarriage. It's not something to joke about, and I'm not making light of it in this story, and I don't want it to be taken that way. How Rose deals with those events and learns to let go is one of the central themes to this story. But first there'll be a little bit of fun and fluff before the plot begins...next chapter I believe. Please review!