Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me!
It'd been a hectic day at the Hyuga Compound, Hinata was the subject of the chaos and confusion yet again, in a meeting many said she should not be the one to lead the clan. Many said that after Hiashi was gone, Hanabi should take over, that she was the only suitable heir and that Hinata was not fit for the life of a ninja, she was not meant to be a leader. Though she was not present during the meeting that took place she overheard it all the same, and got to thinking it was all true. She wasn't as strong as her sister physically, but emotionally she beat her every time, no contest. The question she asked herself after coming to this realization, in leadership, which is the more useful strength? The answer was one she could come to immediately, which is not always a good thing, for usually when that happens someone is wrong and ends up getting hurt.
Hinata decided that physical strength was the better strength when associated with leadership, and knowing she couldn't compete with Hanabi's she sunk into a depression. It was a normal day for Hiashi though when he entered Hinata's room to find Hanabi sitting on her bed, he was shocked not only by this, but by the fact that his younger daughter seemed deeply saddened.
"What's the matter Hanabi?" He asked curiously.
Hanabi didn't justify her father's question with an answer; she merely sat on her sister's bed, looking down at a laptop that belonged to Hinata.
"This is no time to be playing some silly computer game Hanabi, turn it off." Hiashi said sternly when his daughter refused to respond to his question.
"I'm not playing a game father." Hanabi said simply as her eyes traveled to the top of the monitor again.
"Hanabi, what are you reading?" Hiashi asked, annoyance given off in his voice.
"Why do you care?" She asked him angrily.
"Hanabi." Hiashi growled lowly.
"It's nothing you'd be interested in, Hinata wrote it, and both me and her know you don't care about her or anything that concerns her." Hanabi snapped back.
Hiashi blinked, it was true he was always distant with Hinata, always cold to her even when he was trying to be nicer, he was trying to make her stronger all the wrong ways, he knew that now.
"That's not true Hanabi, I understand how you came to be under that impression, but I care about both of you." He said in shock.
"Then why is it when she goes out and never comes home, or when people talk trash about her, or when people put her down, or when she tries to tell you and show you she's become stronger you don't give a shit? Why is it that now when I bring it up you suddenly care?" She spat.
"That's not it at all!" Hiashi defended.
"That's how Hinata feels." Hanabi said simply, glaring at her father angrily.
"I wasn't aware of that." Hiashi said feeling the guilt rising in his chest, "I should have done better with her, I shouldn't have treated her the way I did, and I know she may not understand it now but I did it to make her stronger." He explained.
"You never shunned me to make me stronger father." Hanabi said sincerely, and once again, her eyes traveled back to the computer screen.
Hiashi blinked, and looked down the hall in surprise, "Hanabi?" He asked, and his daughter sunk lower onto the bed. He's finally noticed. She thought to herself shaking her head. "Where is Hinata?" She allowed her father to finish before getting up and shoving the laptop at him.
"Read it." She said sincerely, Hiashi glanced at her, and the scanned over the computer screen, realizing it was a letter from Hinata she'd left on her computer for someone to find.
Dear Family,
It has come to my attention that many feel I am not worthy enough to carry on the name of the Hyuga, and that depresses me, so I am leaving our clan for good, seeing as I am not seen or thought of as a valued member of it anyway. I feel as though this is all my fault for not trying to understand you better father, it always made me sick when you'd say cruel things to me, maybe that was your way of helping me to help myself. Maybe you were just trying to prepare me for life; but then again life has not dealt me so cruel a hand as you have. Since I know no one will ever bother to look for me, I'll let it all out here. I feel as though no one cares about me, and if someone found this and is actually reading it I apologize for being a disgrace, and for not being strong enough to get past feeling sorry for myself. I hope in your heart you can forgive me for all that I am about to write, if you care enough about it that is. When father would say things to me, I'd take them to heart, sometimes when he told me I was too slow, I'd think I was fat and make myself throw up. Sometimes when he'd tell me my footwork was horrible, I'd stick my feet in freezing water, and sob when I couldn't bear the pain, then take them out and train for hours, I thought this would make me stronger, but it hasn't. Sometimes when he'd train Hanabi I'd watch and try to do as she did, when I failed I called myself worthless, left for days and never came back, never ate, never slept, but no one really noticed. Now I'm caught in a rut, I keep thinking of mother, I wanted to tell my father that I love him, and that I miss my mother, but I am afraid he will call me weak for missing someone that we cannot bring back. I am afraid that he will not love me back, I cannot be heartbroken anymore, and so that is why I've never told him I love him, that is why he is father, and not daddy. But every father deserves to be told they're loved, and so I'll say it from the very bottom of my heart, I love you father, and I accept that I am not worthy of your love, or the love of anyone else in this clan.
Yours Always,
Hinata
Hiashi blinked, his hands trembling as he held the laptop, was this really how his daughter felt? He bowed his head, and gave the laptop back to his youngest; he couldn't even bear to look at the wretched thing.
"Where is she?" He whispered in a serious tone.
"If I had any idea of where she was, or where she was going I'd have gone after her and brought her back." Hanabi said seriously as she dropped the laptop where she stood.
"Hanabi." Hiashi said cringing as the realization set in that he may never see his eldest daughter again. When it finally occurred to him that if he kept this up with Hinata he may lose both daughters, and he didn't want that, and so he wouldn't lose Hinata, he'd find her if it killed him.
"I'll be back, don't follow me." He said to Hanabi, and with that he left, sprinting off through the streets calling her name, he went to Shino's house and asked him if he'd seen her, when Shino said no and asked what was wrong, Hiashi merely told him not to worry, and that everything was fine. He went then to Kiba's, where the reaction was the same all around, and beginning to get discouraged he rushed off into the forest, down by the waterfall he'd always heard from Naruto that she trained by. He scanned the area, and sure enough he saw her, standing in the river, walking closer and closer to the fall. Hiashi's eyes widened in a panic.
What's she doing? Is she going under the water fall, she's too fragile the pressure will crush her, does she know this does she want death? He thought frantically to himself as he ran down to her.
"Hinata." He called out to her, and she froze, Hiashi watched the tears travel down his daughter's face. "Don't. You. Take. One. Step. Further." He said sternly.
Hinata didn't listen to him, and he reached out but couldn't grab her before she took that final step, he closed his eyes but opened them abruptly when he heard her screaming, terror given off in her voice. "Hinata!" He yelled realizing she'd slipped.
He dove into the water, and though the current was sweeping him away he grabbed Hinata's bleeding and bruised form and managed to hoist both of them back up and onto land.
He took off her wet clothes, and wrapped his robe around her, his normal training clothes having been on underneath it, all he could manage to say as he held his now barely breathing daughter, "I'm sorry for hurting you…."
Hinata merely stared at him, "And I'm sorry for never telling you that I love you, I just couldn't…" But Hiashi interrupted her.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, I was too busy grieving and too caught up in myself to train you properly. You will make a great leader one day, no matter what anyone else says to you, do you hear me, you will succeed in anything you do because you are a Hyuga, and I will not allow you to quit anything. That includes trying, Hinata, that includes living." He replied, and Hinata embraced him, weak as she was, and at that point Hiashi got to his feet and set out back home. His robe was much too big for Hinata, and it looked as though he was carrying a toddler home with him as he sprinted to the compound in a hurry to find her some warm dry clothes.
He laid her on his bed, Hanabi, unable to bring herself to go inside yet, waited in her room. Hiashi stroked her face and forehead, telling Hinata how he loved her, and how he failed her, telling her that when she pursued her happiness never to repeat his failure. Hinata was constantly cold, but she told no one. Her father soon left her, and Hanabi came in, placing a vase on the bedside table.
"I gave these to mother before she passed on, you're so much like her, so strong Hinata, you'll be great one day." Hanabi reassured, Hinata grew weaker and weaker that night, but realized her father and sister were right, she'd be great one day in one world or another.
Hinata Hyuga died that evening, and Hiashi cried himself to sleep for months that followed.
He lost a wife and daughter in the same bed, two people he cared about were gone, but one thing that gave him hope, two of the 12 white roses Hanabi had placed in a vase for Hinata were missing. No one had touched that vase, and still they were missing, one for Hinata, and another for his wife, his two white roses that'd withered away before their time. He vowed to keep his third for ever, or face death by his own hand.
He regretted everything he said to his family, and everyone knows the worst way to say something is in regret.