So...uh… Yeah, this happened. I was in the middle of writing chapter 13 of Blood in the Water, the sequel to Such a Softer Sin, and this idea hit me and I had to get it down. No idea where I'm going with this or how long it will be, just kinda riding this one out looool.

Pre BDS because I'm obsessed apparently. I'll get to the other like 7 BDS fics I've started eventually, I haven't even posted most of them yet :')

MurphyxOCxConnor. I just can't write about one anymore apparently, I love them both too much.

Halp.

I'll warn you right now, it's a sad one and there's warnings for talk of addiction and mentions of suicide.

The title of this fic was once again inspired by a song by The Used - Poetic Tragedy, it inspired my new OC Madeleine (I genderbent the lyrics lololol).

Then in violent, frustration, she cries out to God or just no one

Is there a point to this madness and all that she was...

Is just a tragedy

The streets of South Boston were bitter with the harsh wind, winter was coming and that meant trouble for all of those that had no homes. Madeleine Ryan was one of those poor homeless souls. This life wasn't new to her though, she had been homeless since she ran away at 15. Her mother was a prostitute, a junkie to top it all off. Madeleine had put up with a lot in her young years, but coming home from school to see her mother lifeless on the mattress she slept on, vomit from her mouth, well that shit doesn't leave you. Her mother had overdosed on heroin, and the state was about to take custody of her. She wasn't stupid, she knew that spelled trouble for her, she had known people from the system. So she fled. Life on the streets was hard, but it could have been worse for her in the system. One girl she knew from school got molested by her foster father, and Madeleine wasn't about that shit.

She was 20 now, or at least she thought she was, keeping track of birthdays wasn't really important now. She was nobody, she was a ghost. She didn't know what date it was, she had no clue. She had to use the weather to gauge what month it was and the only way she knew the time is if she managed to get a glimpse of a clock somewhere. She was a petite girl, lack of nourishment had left her on the smaller side, she was still a growing girl when she had taken up this life. Her long brown hair was a tangled mess in a bun that she was sure had been in for well over a year. She was filthy, she hadn't been able to bathe in far too long. The Catholic church sometimes held days where they fed the homeless, let them use the facilities to get cleaned up. It had been at least a year and she felt disgusting. But this was just how it was now. Looks weren't a priority anymore, survival was.

Her once bright blue eyes were dulled down to more of a grey, the life had been sucked out of her living on the streets. She had seen things she never wished she had, done things she would never utter, just to survive. By the age of 16 she was addicted to the same drug that had taken her mother's life, she had sold herself to feed her addiction, losing her virginity to some old dude for $10. She had been a mess, in trouble with the law way too much, but when she got to the age of around 18, she realised she couldn't carry on that way. She was haunted by the image of her mother's dead body and she didn't want to end up the same way, getting knocked up by a customer, killing herself accidentally. That wasn't the life she wanted. She was on the straight and narrow now, she didn't steal anymore or sell her body, she had been clean for two years which was a feat considering she was faced with temptation every day. But she wanted more for herself, even if that was just still on the streets, but not sinking so low.

She was wearing a dark green chunky sweater but it did little to stave of the cold that was seeping into her bones, it was getting dark now and it would only get colder. The jumper was much too big for her and was covered in dirt and holes, much like her jeans. Her sneakers were beat up to hell and were a size too small, but it was better than no shoes at all. She had a thin blanket and she wrapped it around herself tighter to try and warm up, but it was no use.

She had been in this current spot for a week before, but she had moved a few nights ago somewhere else and it didn't end well for her, so now she was back here. She moved around a lot to stop to cops bitching at her, and this place seemed decent enough. It was the Irish part of Southie, people tended to be more generous here and she felt somewhat safer. No one harassed her here or hurt her, so when she left and found another spot, it didn't surprise her too much when she had the shit kicked out of her and had her money stolen by some addicts. The was the night before, and now she was back next to the Irish pub she felt safest at. Her cup was empty, a painful reminder of how she had let her defenses slip. It wasn't much that they had taken, but it was the money she would have used for food, and now she had nothing. Her stomach was growling painfully and she sighed, resting her forehead on her knees. It was times like this when her past haunted her, reminding her of how easy it was for her to earn money from her body and be able to buy food. But she didn't want to sink back to that, she would rather starve than degrade herself that way ever again.

She heard some voices and glanced up, seeing two men walking down the street, she recognised them. They had never exchanged words, but the boys always gave her some money as they went past before slipping into the pub every night. When they got to her, they were bantering as they usually did, she wondered if they were brothers by the way they carried on at each other. They reached into their pockets, the brown-haired one letting his smoke dangle from his lips but when he glanced at her, a deep frown etched into his usually boyish features.

"Fuckin' Christ." He muttered as he took his smoke in his hands and used the other to smack the dark blonde's chest. The man looked to the darker haired boy confused, huffing a 'the fuck?', before he looked at the girl, his own frown taking over his face. Madeleine was confused for a minute before she realised her face was most likely bruised. It wasn't like she had seen herself in the mirror.

The blonde one crouched down in front of her and she just blinked at him, the closeness was unsettling her. He reached out like he meant to take her chin, maybe to get a good look at the damage but she looked down, avoiding his grasp and putting off a definite vibe of don't fucking touch. They might have been decent enough to give her money when they saw her, but she knew better than to trust just anyone. He seemed to take the hint, standing back up and looking at her apologetically. The brown haired one was still watching her looking troubled.

"They take yer money?" The darker haired one asked, nodding his head to her empty cup. By the time they always saw her she usually always had at least something in it. She wouldn't look at them or speak, she just nodded. Their concern was making her feel uncomfortable, she wasn't used to anyone giving a shit about her. They muttered to each other in another language and they sounded tense, it only made her even more uncomfortable.

They looked back at her and she was still sat there, pulling the blanket tight around herself and unable to look at them. She was shocked when one of them put a $10 bill in her cup. She looked up just in time to see it was the blonde one and the other one followed suit, putting in another $10 bill in the cup. She furrowed her brows, confused why they seemed to want to help her so much but she tried to ignore it, she didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"Thank you." She whispered, her voice sounding weird even to her own ears since she rarely had the need to use it. It was the first time she'd ever uttered a word to the brothers and she was graced with matching grins. It bothered her that those grins made her feel a little weird inside.

"Not a problem love." The brown haired one spoke with a kind smile.

"Maybe ye should stick around this area, it's safer." The blonde one mused, glancing around the streets. Southie wasn't the best place full stop but if anyone tried to cause shit here in the Irish neighbourhood they were in, people would intervene. The girls busted lip, bruised nose and bruised jaw looked like no one had jumped in to help her. They wouldn't be surprised if she had more bruises on her body.

Madeleine nodded, looking back down. She didn't like staying in one place for too long but he had a point, it was only when she left this area for another this happened. She had been here for a week successfully with no problems before that. Maybe she would stick around here until the cops started to hassle her.

When it became clear the girl didn't want to talk, they gave her nods and went on their merry way to the pub. Madeleine glanced at the money, taking it and putting it in her pants pocket. She didn't want anyone seeing it and trying to take it, she felt more on guard now after what happened the night before. It had been years since she had been mugged like that and she was a little shaken up. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, maybe a couple of hours, when the darker haired boy stepped outside, lighting a smoke. He was swaying on his feet a little, seemingly intoxicated. He glanced over at her and she just watched him carefully as he grinned, sauntering over.

"Heya love, mind if I sit?" He asked, not really waiting for an answer as he plonked himself down on the sidewalk next to her. She felt awkward, she wasn't used to making conversation and she hadn't expected anyone to just waltz up to her and sit with her. People usually avoided the homeless, they didn't go sitting with them. They were silent for a moment as he smoked, his back against the wall as they sat side by side. She wasn't really sure why he wanted her company.

"Ye pocketed that money?" He asked curiously, casting a side glance at her. She nodded feeling mildly perturbed he had figured that out, even in his inebriated state.

"Aye, good girl. Don't need a repeat o' what happened te ye." He frowned, discarding his smoke once he was done with it. He shifted to sit facing her and she blinked at him. Physical contact with humans wasn't something she was used to, it had been a few years since anyone had touched her with exception of the night before, but she liked to think punches didn't count. The man seemed to have no boundaries. He took her chin in his hand, much like the other boy wanted to do before, and she tensed. He either didn't notice or he ignored it as he tilted her head one way, then another, assessing her injuries with a frown.

The pub door opened and closed once more and her eyes looked over to see the blonde one, she couldn't turn her head fully since the darker haired boy still had a hold of her face.

"Fuckin' hell Murph, I leave ye alone for a minute and yer harassin' the poor thing." The blonde huffed, staggering over, he seemed more drunk than 'Murph' did. He released her face then, looking a little apologetic, like he only just realised in his alcohol-soaked mind he had been touching her.

"Fuck off Connor, was just checkin' her over." Murphy scowled, seemingly in jest though as 'Connor' sat down next to him, the both of them now facing her. Awkward seemed to be the theme of the day for her apparently. Connors' eyes glanced to her once again empty cup and his eyes widened almost comically.

"Christ! Have ye been mugged again?!" He asked incredulously and she couldn't help it when her lips quirked up in a small smile. He really was drunk. Murphy snorted at him, reaching out and smacking him around the head playfully.

"She's put it in her pocket ye dumb shite, ain't gonna leave it out for everyone te see is she? She's much smarter than that." Murphy grinned, making her blush a little at the compliment. He caught her eyes and gave her a cheeky wink and she bit her lip, looking down so he couldn't see her pink cheeks.

Connor smacked Murphy's head in retaliation with a huff.

"Ain't a dumb shite, I'm a drunk shite, there's a difference." He declared as he pointed at him, looking back to the girl and flashing her a grin. They definitely had to be brothers with the way the pair were with each other.

"So girl, ye know our names by now, what's yers?" Murphy asked curiously as he looked at her. She chewed the inside of her cheek, no one ever asked her name, her name didn't matter out here where she was a nobody. Yet these two were looking at her so intensely like her name was the most important thing they'd ever know. It was making her feel uncomfortable and awkward again, she was used to being invisible.

"Madeleine." She whispered softly, pulling the sleeves of her oversized jumper over her hands in a comforting way.

"Well Madeleine, me lovely lass, it's a pleasure te meet ye. Sorry ye have the displeasure o' meetin' me dumb shite brother over here." Murphy smirked, full on laughing when Connor hit him again.

"Ignore him Madeleine, he's just sour that I'm the older brother." Connor grinned triumphantly. She looked at them, once again amused at their antics, it distracted her from feeling out of place and having too much attention when their attention was focused on hitting each other.

"Fuck you, I'm the oldest and ye know it." Murphy huffed, making Madeleine tilt her head curiously at them, how would they not know?

Connor caught her confused look and smiled at her.

"We're twins lass, our Ma won't tell us who the oldest is, even though everyone knows it's me." He snickered, making Murphy roll his eyes.

"Listen here, Maddie's a clever girl, she knows I'm the most reliable o' the two o' us. I knew what she'd done wit' the money and yer the dumb shite that thought she'd been mugged again, I think we know who she's more likely te listen te." Murphy insisted with a lopsided grin. She blushed lightly again at the nickname, no one had ever called her a nickname. This was all new to her and honestly a little weird.

The boys carried this on for what felt like forever, just bantering with each other and trading insults. It was as if they read her well, knowing she was too shy and withdrawn to partake in a conversation, so they spoke enough for the three of them, keeping her amused as she watched them. She wasn't sure how long had passed when the pub door opened again and this time a guy with shaggy hair and a beard came stumbling out.

"Rocco!" The boys exclaimed gleefully in unison, making Madeleine snort lightly to herself. The man in question turned to look at them, a huge grin spreading on his face.

"Fuck guys! It's damn near been an hour, everyone's wonderin' where you got off to." He said as he walked over, well as good as he could with how much he had drank. His eyes fell to the girl then and she felt awkward and lowered her head. He didn't make a comment though, it might have had something to do with the pointed looks the boys were giving him.

"We'll be right in Roc." Connor smiled, making the man nod and grin before he went back inside. She felt a pang of something that was unfamiliar with the thought of once again being on her own. She was used to being alone so she wasn't sure why the thought of the boys going was so unappealing. It wasn't like she had even contributed to the conversation, it was just nice to have company and it had been amusing for her to watch them interact. She hadn't smiled in a long time, and the both of them had made her smile a lot in the time they had sat with her. The boys watched her for a moment before glancing to each other, and she could have sworn it was like they were talking through that look.

"Why don't ye come in wit' us lass? Get a nice warm drink in ye and some food?" Connor suggested. Her eyes widened at the suggestion and the boys noticed how they darted to the door and back down to her hands. It was too crowded in there. Homeless people weren't really welcome anywhere, she'd been tossed out of numerous places. She was embarrassed if she was honest, she was more than aware she was filthy and looked a mess, she wasn't sure how the boys standed to look at her.

"What if we went and got ye somethin' te eat and brought it out here for ye? Would that make ye more comfortable?" Murphy asked softly as he looked at her with a small comforting smile. Once again he seemed to read her pretty well, the boy was astute even when drunk. She thought about it for a moment, still not understanding why they were helping her or why they had chosen to just spend an hour talking to her and keeping her company, but they were offering a meal, an actual meal, and it felt too good to pass up.

"Yes please." She smiled, her voice still small and almost timid like she was afraid to use it.

The boys exchanged a glance again and Murphy stood up, patting his brother on the back before going inside. She blinked to Connor wondering why he had chosen to stay sat there with her and not go into the warmth.

"Aren't ye cold lass?" He asked looking concerned as he reached out and rubbed the blanket between his thumb and finger, like he was testing the thickness. The frown on his face told her he wasn't stupid even if he was drunk, the blanket was thin and wasn't doing much to help with the weather. She shook her head, outright lying to him and he squinted.

"Bullshit, this might as well be made o' toilet paper." He huffed, reaching out and taking her by surprise as he grabbed her hand, his eyes widening when he felt how cold it was.

"Fuckin' hell lass, ye feel like an ice cube!" He frowned, taking both of her hands in his, rubbing them to warm him up. She was surprised at how warm he was. He was wearing his coat but it was still cold yet his hands were lovely and warm.

She felt weird at the physical touch, but the warmth felt too good for her to pull away. She just watched him carefully as he brought their hands up to his mouth and he blew on them, making even more warmth seep into her cold hands. She wasn't sure how long they sat like that for in comfortable silence before Murphy suddenly came back out with a steaming bowl of something and a cup of something hot. Connor let go of her hands, giving her a beaming smile as Murphy sat back in his place, a matching smile like he was so proud of himself for getting her something to eat and drink.

"Hot chocolate and some good old Irish stew, it'll warm ye right up." He grinned, handing her the bowl and setting her cup down on the floor.

"Thank you." She smiled, enjoying the heat the bowl was giving her. It smelt amazing, she only ever managed to buy herself something small and cheap, she hadn't had anything cooked like this in far too long. In her most desperate times she had rummaged through dumpsters for leftover food she could eat. The pair of them were watching her and she just looked back, blinking at them and wondering if they were going to stare at her whilst she ate, she fucking hoped not. As if they got the message, they turned to each other and they started to talk in another language.

She wasn't sure if it bothered her, not knowing what they were saying, but their body language was relaxed and she just started to eat her food. She ate it slowly, not used to such food and her stomach was pretty small by this point. She was struggling to finish it but she forced herself to. She wasn't sure when she'd get another meal like this and she knew better than to waste it. When she was done, she set the bowl down and took the cup, sipping it slowly. She closed her eyes, relishing the taste. She hadn't had a hot chocolate since she was a child, this really was a treat. When she opened her eyes she found the boys watching her with goofy grins and she blushed, looking down.

"It's good aye? Doc makes a mean hot chocolate." Murphy smiled widely at her, she chanced a glance at him and smiled softly with a nod. The boys didn't seem to phased with her lack of conversational skills, they didn't force small talk on her and were more than happy to carry the conversation themselves and she was grateful. This whole experience was a little overwhelming. Rocco came back out, shouting to the boys that people were waiting on them for a game of pool and she felt that disappointment again. The boys sighed and muttered something to each other she couldn't understand before looking back at her.

"Will ye be alright?" Connor asked, actually looking concerned. She nodded, mustering up a grateful smile, they had done a lot for her after all. They didn't seem satisfied but when Rocco came out once more, they grumbled to themselves and stood up. They looked down at her, almost like they wanted to say something but they seemed to think better of it, just giving her a smile and wave before they headed back inside.

She breathed a sigh of relief, as much as she enjoyed their company, it had been taxing and totally new to her, she wasn't used to this attention from anyone. She was grateful for the food, for the company and the fact they had made her smile, but she would much rather continue to be a ghost. Having no one notice she existed. For the first time in a very long time, she felt the weight of being alone. She sighed to herself, laying down and curling into a ball, her back to the wall. Hours later, she heard the boys on their way home, singing obnoxiously and laughing. She didn't open her eyes but she smiled to herself as she slipped back off to sleep.