Haha okay so a little bit of a preface before you begin... i wrote this so late at night and I was nearly falling asleep while doing so. I stg I can be a lot funnier than this omg! Anyways I hate myself and try to enjoy! ;)
"Where the hell are we?" Natsu asked, dramatically staring down at the horizon from the giant hill with his arms folded over his chest.
Gray stood up, groggily rubbing his eyes. "Hell if I know."
Juvia emerged as a shadow from behind Gray, with tears streaming down her face. "Oh Gray-Sama!" She tackled Gray onto the ground. "Gray are you alright? Oh I'm so worried about you." She leaned in and hugged him again while Gray sighed.
Erza cleared her throat. Everyone looked at her, terrified. "It's clear we've been transported to some type of new world. I hope it's nothing like Edolas though." She chuckled.
Natsu began to yell while unnecessarily pointing into the air. "Let's see how this world reacts to fire." He grinned whist snapping his fingers in an attempt to create a flame. To his surprise, nothing happened. A small dramatic tear fell from his left eye. "I can't believe it didn't work!" He fell to the ground and slammed his fists on the grass. "All that hard work for nothing."
"Calm down Natsu, it isn't like we're all dead." Lucy said, clearly annoyed by his overdramatic state.
"I'm scared!" Wendy said, clutching Carla.
Erza placed her hands on her hips and replaced the vacant spot where Natsu stood. "We should start exploring this place, I don't like the feeling I'm getting."
Natsu sniffed. "Yeah, and it looks like it's getting dark out here."
Lucy playfully punched him on the shoulder. "You idiot! It's just becoming morning."
"I don't know anything anymore…" Natsu began to rock himself back and forth on the ground. "Yu guys, I don't think we're in Fiore anymore…"
"Okay Dorthy." Gray rolled his eyes.
"What did you just call me, popsicle?!" Natsu was up in an instant, fists ready to punch someone.
"Darling I don't want you to get hurt, stop it!" Juvia cried.
Erza's eyes flamed. "Stop it! Both of you!"
"Yes ma'am." They both said.
"Let's go and try to figure out what this place is." Erza began to walk down the large, steep hill with Wendy, Lucy, Carla, and Happy in tow. "If you don't hurry you'll get lost."
"I'll never be lost as long as Gray is with me." Juvia rubbed Gray's bicep.
"Yeah, yeah, we're coming." Natsu and Gray stood up and followed, completely oblivious to what was to come. . .
They each took in the beautiful scenery of the strange new world. Larger and more vivid trees, bluer sky, warmer air, strange creatures, longer blades of grass, larger and busier buildings, and new people. Erza and Carla were obviously concerned with this though, neither of them liked where they were in the slightest; Wendy and Lucy were terrified of the strange land; Natsu and Happy were amazed by every little detail; Gray was intrigued but didn't show any signs of it; And, as per usual, Juvia was simply too focused on Gray to notice that anything was different.
"What the frick?!" Happy said, pointing at a large, glowing rectangular object only a few feet away. On it, was a pink box of some sort with the words "Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea." Repeated on the box and a man's pink shirt.
"Woah. . . what is that?" Natsu stepped closer to it.
"Careful Natsu, we don't know what that could be. . ." Erza picked up the nearest sharp object and walked towards it. "It looks like some kind of lacrima, but I can't be sure. It doesn't look like one." She took another step forward.
"Erza. . ." Carla said, voice full of worry.
Erza pointed at the glowing object. "I DEMAND you tell us what you are!" She screamed. The screen replaced itself with an image of a yellow sponge with eyes, a mouth, a nose, and a suit.
The image began to speak. "It's just a string?!"
The screen panned to a pink starfish with the same features as the sponge. "A secret string!"
Erza jumped back in surprise. "DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!" She yelled, holding a stick like a sword.
The screen said nothing.
"Fine then," Erza's voice quieted itself. "Have it your way." She lunged towards the object and slammed the stick into it, making the object buzz and go black. "Still won't respond even after this eh?" She hit the object again. "YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT ME!" Finally, she kicked the screen in the very middle of it, before the object sent sparking wires from the inside of it. Erza landed perfectly on the ground and wiped her eyebrow. "Filthy thing that was."
"Woah, take it easy fire cracker. What did the T.V every do to you?" Someone's voice said from a quickly growing crowd. It was a young teenager, probably about 15 years old with light brown hair, bright blue eyes, pale skin, a pointy nose, and noticeably long eyelashes. She wasn't very pretty by any means, but the look suited her well enough. The girl had a confident yet scared aura about her that no one could put their finger on. She was wearing tight black leggings, a black sweatshirt, tennis shoes, and a silver bracelet. Half of her hair was in a ponytail and the other half cascaded down her back and to her waist.
Everyone stared at her. "Who are you?" Erza asked, pointing the stick at the girl's face.
The girl yelped and took a step back, cheeks turning red. She began to rub her wrist.
"Thalia!" A girl yelled from the crowd. She looked about the same age as the other girl. She had blonde hair that was pulled into a high ponytail, similar blue eyes, pale skin, plump lips, and a small nose. The second girl was wearing black sweat pants and a long-sleeved navy-blue t-shirt. "I told you not to do it. But you just didn't listen to me." She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Sometimes I wonder why I became friends with you."
"Thanks for the help." The girl named Thalia mumbled.
"Nothing to see here people. Move it along." Natsu said, waving people off. The crowd sighed and left without a word of protest.
"Now," Erza faced Thalia again, lifting the stick. "tell me what this thing called a T.V is."
Thalia's eyebrows narrowed. "Don't hurt me! I'm innocent! I don't know where he is I swear!" She collapsed to the ground and covered her head with her arms. "I'm too young to die. I have so many things I've never experienced. So many things I've never tried!"
"Something about this girl reminds me a lot of Natsu." Gray said, chuckling.
Thalia continued her quiet mumbles. "I haven't eaten a fajita in like a month! I'VE ONLY HAD TWO BOYFRIENDS! BOTH OF WHICH DIDN'T ACTUALLY LIKE ME!" She yelled into the sky. She faced the ground again. "I never even got the chance to become a voice actor for dubbed anime. . ."
"What?" Lucy said.
"This might be a bit too soon but if you die I think It's only fair that I get Storm." The other girl said.
"Storm!" Juvia said dreamily. "That's what we'll name our first son. Oh, don't you like it Gray?!" Juvia rested her head on Gray's shoulder as Gray inaudibly mumbled under his breath.
Thalia stood up quickly and stared the girl in the face. Amelia I swear to God if you even THINK about Storm I'll eat all the food in your house. Don't test me."
Amelia Smirked. "She's back."
Erza, who wasn't having any of the nonsense, pointed the stick to Amelia. "Tell me everything you can about this world or I'll end you." Her eyes glinted in the sun.
Amelia's eyes widened and she began to whimper. "Wow, Thalia was right. . . I'm too young to die. I've never met the real life Natsu—"
Natsu perked up. "WHAT?!"
Happy chimed into the conversation for the first time in a while. "Someone has a stalker."
"I've never gotten to pet a koala. . . I've never. . . I'VE NEVER GOTTEN THAT TATTOO OF HIS FACE LIKE I WANTED!" She began to cry.
"Carla," Wendy whined, "this girl is scaring me. . ."
Carla pushed herself into Wendy's embrace. "As much as I hate to admit it. . . they're scaring me too."
"Uh. . . guys?" Natsu's whimpering voice said from behind them.
Everyone turned around, even Erza, but she still kept the stick drawn. Natsu was holding a magazine in his hands and staring down at it with a look of pure horror. A drop of sweat hit the page.
"Natsu what is it?" Lucy asked.
He shakily turned it around. "L-look. . ."
Everyone screamed and fell backwards. Juvia covered Gray's eyes; Wendy began to cry; Erza looked like she wanted to murder it; Happy was bent over, throwing up; And Lucy nearly passed out. On the page was a picture of a woman with long glossy black hair tied up in a weird rope like hair style on the top of her head, tan and oily skin, and a sinister smile on her face. She was wearing nothing but a white scarf around her neck and black gloves, and the only thing covering her behind was a thin sparkly black cloth that she was gripping between two fingers.
"It's. . . it's terrifying." Carla said.
"I don't know what to think." Happy yelled into the distance.
Natsu collapsed on the ground in the fetal position and began to cry. "I'll never un-see what I just saw..."
"Gray my Darling! Look away!" Juvia screamed.
"I couldn't look if I wanted to." Gray said, his voice muffled by something of Juvia's.
Erza and Lucy were both petrified by the image, ready to return to Magnolia as fast as humanly possible. Lucy nearly fainted from the sight again and Erza. . . still looked like she wanted to kill it.
Thalia and Amelia began to silently sneak away, taking the chance they had to live and running with it. "Dam*it!" Amelia said. "My shoulder hurts." She rubbed her clearly un-injured shoulder.
"Complain about it when we aren't running from certain death." Thalia growled.
...
"It's been three days! I can't take this much longer. It's like all the ethernano has been sucked from us." Happy crazily mumbled into his hands.
"Be quiet Tom Cat, it's been an hour." Carla walked beside him with her arms authoritatively crossed over her small torso.
"If feels like three days. . ." Happy mumbled.
"I'm so tired and hungry!" Natsu whined, draping his limp arm over Lucy's shoulder.
"We're trying to find a place to rest and eat Natsu. Calm down for a moment." Erza said calmly.
"I don't think that's possible." Lucy said. "Just look at the guy."
Erza turned half of her face around to look at Natsu. His face was dripping with sweat and he was purposely staggering around. "He'll be fine."
Once again, they walked in silence. Taking in the strange scenery of the new town they'd come across. Each building was miles high with what looked like over a thousand windows with a glare from the hot son. The shops and restaurants were all lined with glowing neon lights that spelled out its name. And between every building, there was a terrifying dark alley that sometimes held people with loose pants and weird square devices, similar to the thing Erza beat up.
"We should go there." Lucy pointed at a restaurant with red and yellow colors and a giant letter M on the windows. "There seem to be a lot of people inside."
Erza nodded and led them all inside. The interior of the building was nothing like they expected. With a terrible smell, crowds, plaster tables and black chairs, a giant machine that seemed to dispense drinks.
A bored looking teenager looked at them as they walked in. "Welcome to McDo—"
"Do you guys have food?" Natsu stepped up and asked.
The teenager looked around at the people eating fattening foods and looked back at Natsu before laughing. "You're kidding right?"
He said nothing.
"Oh, you're serious. Okay." The boy blinked. "Yeah we serve food here. Best in town if you ask anybody."
Natsu smiled. "Okay. Just making sure." He leaned forward on the counter towards the teenager. "We'll take everything on the menu."
"Natsu—" Erza started.
Natsu held up his hand. "Ah, ah, Erza. I'm the foodie here. I know exactly what I'm doing." He slammed his fist on the counter. "We'll take everything you have on the menu."
Erza growled. "No we won't."
Natsu rolled his eyes. "Fine. We'll taka half of what you have on the menu."
Gray pushed Natsu out of the way. "Let me handle this." He leaned his arm on the counter. "Listen, Natsu is an idiot and we'll each take—"
"Sorry, but we don't allow shirtless pretty boys into this restaurant." The moody teenager said.
Juvia's head snapped. "I HAVE A NEW LOVE RIVAL! AND IT IS YOU!" She pointed at the boy.
Gray jumped. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CLOTHES?!"
"Gray you pervert!" Natsu said.
That's it! Lucy thought. I'll just convince him with my charming good looks! Then he'll have to do whatever we say and give it to us for free! It's perfect. Lucy slammed her fist into Gray and Natsu's head. "BOTH OF YOU STOP BEING IDIOTS!" She calmed herself and stepped to the counter. "Hey there." She winked. "So, how about we all have one of whatever is your most popular item. Is that okay?" She winked again.
The obviously hormonal teenage boy's cheeks went red and he nodded. "Uhm . . . six number three's."
. . .
Natsu tore directly into his food without a second thought. . "I thought it would be better with all the hype, but it's good enough."
A girl with lavender hair and glowing blue eyes tripped next to them with a groan. Everyone looked down. She was lying face first on the disgusting floor, hair sprawled out with the ends in a puddle of soda on the ground next to her. Before anyone could do anything, another girl with striking green eyes and dark brown hair fell directly on top of her. "Sh!t. . ." one of them groaned. A few feet away, two boys began to laugh.
Natsu got up to help the girl with green eyes while Erza helped up the one with blue. "You alright?" Natsu asked.
The girl nodded.
"Well that was a nasty fall." Erza said as she and the girl stood up.
"Hah, no kidding." Lavender said. "Thanks, by the way," she turned around and faced the two boys that were laughing at them. "at least someone decided to do something other than laugh." The girl could barely keep a straight face before bending over in laughter.
The one with green eyes did the same, clapping her hands together while she laughed so hard there was no sound coming from her mouth. She nearly fell to the ground again.
The two boys walked over. One of which with blonde hair and deep green eyes. He looked as if Lucy and Natsu had a son; the other with black hair and dark blue eyes. He also looked like Juvia and Gray's fictional son.
The one with dark hair grinned. "Nice fall Blaze."
The girl with lavender hair playfully slapped him on the shoulder. "Go away!"
"How is someone so clumsy?!" The one with blonde hair asked.
Green eyes glared at him. "Don't make me—"
"No Rosalyn I'm sorry." He whimpered.
The girl called Rosalyn chuckled. "Anyways, thanks for the trouble."
Blaze perked up. "Ooooooooh I love your hair! Blue is a nice color."
Wendy and Juvia both said "Thank you!" With a shy smile.
. . .
"I want this bed with Gray-Sama!" Juvia called, jumping onto the nearest bed in the hotel room. "It's so soft."
Lucy calmly stood next to the next one. "I'll have this one I guess."
Erza, Wendy, and Carla claimed theirs before Natsu could get a word in. The room only provided four beds in the room, forcing Natsu to share with someone.
Happy grinned. "You can sleep with Luuuuuuuucy!"
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID CAT!" Lucy yelled.
Natsu blushed and said nothing.
"Well the cat isn't wrong. You aren't sleeping with Wendy and Carla, or me. So that just leaves Lucy or Gray and Juvia." Erza said, chuckling behind each word.
"Woah woah! I never said I was sleeping with Juvia!" Gray said.
Juvia began to cry. "Does Gray-Sama not want to sleep with Juvia? Gray doesn't love me?"
Gray freaked out. "Oh, uhm no not at all. I was just worried about. . . fine." He rolled his eyes and looked at the ground as Juvia went crazy with joy.
. . .
"This is not okay!" Happy said, wedged between Natsu and Lucy's bodies. "I DEMAND A RE-COUNT!"
"Shut up, Tom Cat!" Carla said from two beds away.
Natsu's arm crushed Happy as he not-so-accidentally rested his arm on Lucy's waist. Lucy accepted his embrace and smashed her face even farther into the soft white pillow, before resting her own arm on top of Nastu's.
. . .
"Does anyone know what this is?" Erza held up a glowing rectangle that she took from a shop nearby. For some reason a bunch of bells went off when she walked through the door, and security officers chased her down the street for about three miles before she lost them. "It must be very important. I almost died to obtain it!"
Lucy pressed her face into Erza's shoulder in an attempt to get a better look. "I don't know." She swiped across it. "It . . . moves!"
Erza brought it closer to her face to further inspect the device. . "Hmm." She pressed on a random square in the corner of the screen. "Wha- What is this? It's like a . . . A WHAT? SOMEBODY GIVE ME THE RIGHT WORD!"
"Press the red button." Natsu whispered into her ear. "Press it."
"AGH!" Erza gave into the temptation and pressed the button. It made a small noise before recording their every movement. "What?"
"I WANTED IT TO EXPLODE THE WORLD SO WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE OH MY GOW!" Natsu screamed into the sky.
"I'm tempted to press it again but . . . who knows what'll happen." Erza said.
"JUST PRESS IT!" Natsu screamed again.
Erza pressed the button again. It made the same barely audible noise and did absolutely nothing else. She growled from frustration as a picture of their faces appeared in the bottom left corner. She clicked on it and pressed the white triangle in the middle of the screen. The device began to show them exactly what they had done just seconds before. "OH MY GOD IT'S BEEN WATCHING US THIS WHOLE TIME!" Erza slammed the object into the ground and stomped on it while screaming "DIE" at the top of her lungs.
After she was finished murdering the spying device, she clapped her hands together and stared intently into the distance. "Wait… what if that could've been used back in Magnolia! I MUST GET ANOTHER TO BRING BACK WITH US!"
Lucy grabbed her arm. "What if it's a trap?!"
Erza stared at her. "You're right." She fell to the ground. "How could I have not thought about that! Of course it's a trap. Lucy you're a genius."
Lucy grinned. "I know, keep going."
"That's our Lucy!" Natsu smiled and leaned on Lucy.
Gray dared to even look at Lucy. When he did, he saw Juvia's smiling face. "Were you thinking about complimenting her too? Gray-Sama." She said, almost as sinister as she looked.
Gray's eyes widened. "No…"
Juvia laughed. "Good." She glared back at Lucy. "Love rival" she mumbled under her breath.
Erza screamed. "I CAN'T TAKE IT! I HAVE TO GET ANOTHER DEVICE!" She sprinted towards the direction of the store with absolutely no intention of turning back.
. . .
"Thanks…" Erza mumbled from behind the jail cell doors.
"Yeah, yeah . . . thanks." Natsu said next to her. How they both managed to get arrested from just walking into the store, no one would ever know. Erza, yeah sure anyone could get that but . . . Natsu? All he did was follow her in and have his eyes fu*king satan laser beam towards the devices—okay yes maybe now we understand.
A guard in a navy-blue suit slid open the bars and motioned for Erza and Natsu to walk out. "I'm too young for this. I knew I should have become a stand up comedian when I had the chance . . . oh so many years ago. But sadly I wasn't good enough." The man stared at the wall.
Carla rolled her eyes. "Then why didn't you? Anyone can accomplish anything if they simply want to hard enough."
A tear fell from the man's eyes. "Thank you . . . those are true words of wisdom."
"Unless of course, you're you. Because you were stupid enough to give up on it. I'm serious here, sir. Don't give up on something you love just because you think you weren't good enough." Carla folded her arms.
Erza picked up happy and cradled her in her arms. "Enough of the sap. Let's go."
"PUT ME DOWN ERZA!" Carla screamed.
As they left, the man started to weep. "Okay…"
. . .
"It's a bar!" Erza cried. "I need a drink." She stumbled through the doors.
"I'll take Wendy and Carla to the hotel . . ." Lucy said.
"I'll go to, I can't handle another moment on my feet." Gray said.
"I'm coming too!" Juvia said, latching onto Gray's arm. "Love rival…" she whispered.
. . .
"Thanks again." Erza said from behind the same bars. She was arrested the night before because she vandalized the bar wall by writing the words "Worship queen Erza or die." In ketchup, and because the vandalism was a threat. Apparently, she also harassed a woman because she thought she stole her hair. Turns out more people than Erza have red hair. Natsu on the other hand was a different story. Instead of complying, he punched a guard in the face and ran for it. They found Natsu in the lobby of the hotel the next morning with two puppies cuddled up next to him.
"Don't mention it." Lucy sighed.
The same guard unlocked the cell and opened it. "Tell the talking cat I said thanks." He sniffed.
Lucy stared at him in confusion before slowly nodding. "Sure thing . . ."