Title: Kami Hates Me
Genre: Humor/Drama
Pairings: Sakura/Akatsuki
Warning: Rated T, but might go up; for very strong language, violence, and adult themes.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of its characters.
Short Summary: While on a mission, Sakura is attacked by strange Ninja who has turned her into a pink furred cat and she's taken in by none other than Akatsuki.
Chapter One:
This was so not happening! This couldn't be happening! How could this be happening? Those were the thoughts that were running through Sakura Haruno's mind as she found herself being carried, weakly through the rain soaked forest, in the arms of a child like man who was beyond annoying and was talking in third person.
Worst thing was, he happened to be an Akatsuki.
Well the answer to her own questions were pretty simple. Sakura had been on a mission to the Feral County where two rivaling Villages were at a dangerous war with each other. The Hidden Claw Village and the Hidden Fang Village. They were fighting like cats and dogs over land and it was getting ridiculous. But the one thing that she had to laugh at was the fact that they were cats and dogs. Both Villages were made up of ninja who were somewhat like the Inuzuka Clan. They had a partnership with an animal. And not just any animals. Felines and Canines.
The Hidden Claw were filled with ninja who were partnered with several different varieties of felines. From Tigers to Lions, and Tabby cats to rough looking bobcats, they had pretty much the whole assortment.
As for the Hidden Fang Village, the same only with canines. They had many dogs, coyotes, and even wolves. There were quite a few wolves partnered with Ninja in that area.
And together, Claw and Fang had been at war with each other, trying to rip each other apart until they finally grew tired of the fights. They had no idea how they were going to settle the problem and that was why they contacted the Leaf Village to ask for their interference during their war. They simply asked the Fifth Hokage that they could send someone to help them settle their fueds and serve as a mediator so that they could discuss how to make a peace pact between each other.
In result, Tsunade had decided to send Sakura and Kiba Inuzuka to help the Claw and Fang Ninja. She just sent them, knowing that they were only going as a Peace mission. So there was no need to send a whole squadron of ninja as back up. They were to go to the Lands of Claw and Fang, sit and listen to them bicker and fight and then sign a damn peace treaty with each other. That was it.
But apparently, someone had not been happy about the Leaf Village's interference, or the idea of the Claw and Fang Villages becoming more sociable with each other. Because only a day before they would arrive, both Sakura and Kiba, along with Akamaru had been attacked in the night.
The attackers just came out of no where from the darkness while the two had been resting for the night. If it had not been for Akamaru catching their scent first and started growling, they probably would have gotten sliced to bits by the many kunai that the attackers had thrown at them. They couldn't even tell who was attacking them because they were wearing all black and black masks, hiding their faces.
A fight had broken out between the two Leaf Ninja and their attackers and they had nearly wiped the attackers' faces against the ground with their strength and abilities.
That is until something had hit Sakura.
In truth, she had no idea what the hell just happened. All she remembered was that she had been smashing her fist against the ground to knock the attackers and then something smashed against her head, making her see stars as she hit the ground.
For long moments, Sakura watched as stars dancing high above her head before everything seemed to go black. She specifically remembered seeing strange blue smoke swirling all around her as she started to black out. She wasn't even sure how long she had been out for. Only that when she managed to come to her senses, she was lying on her side, groaning. She felt so very strange as she tried to push herself to her feet, only to topple over with a loud squeak.
Startled, Sakura blinked several times as she looked around. She couldn't help but frown to herself as she got a good look all around her.
Strange as it was, everything...seemed bigger than she remembered. The trees were standing huge above her and the grass seemed to tower over her. She merely frowned before raising a paw to rub her sleepy...PAW?
A squeak escaped Sakura again as she looked wide eyed at what used to be her hands only to see small paws covered in rosy pink hair. She stared at the paws for a very long time before she began looking herself over before she nearly shrieked, only sounding more like a kitten screaming. She could not believe her eyes! She was covered in pink fur!
'No, no, no, no!' She thought frantically as she found herself stand up on all fours and she began spinning around in circles trying to look herself over. She almost shrieked again when she saw a long, bushy tail trailing after her. 'Oh, no! This is so not happening!'
Somehow, she had turned into a pink furred cat.
'How did this happen? What happened?' Sakura shrieked to herself as she quickly looked herself over before frantically looking around. She remembered what had happened. She remembered that she had been with Kiba and Akamaru before they were attacked by strange ninja in the dead of the night. But where was Kiba and Akamaru now?
Frantically looking around, Sakura couldn't find them at all. They were gone. She was still where they had been camping for the night but her two companions were no where in sight. 'Oh no! Kiba! Akamaru!' She tried to call out, hearing herself only mew loudly and she slumped down, covering her head with her paws. 'This is so terrible! How the hell did this happen? What did those freaks do to me? Kiba!' She tried to call out again, hearing herself mew loudly.
'Okay, breath, Sakura! Calm down and think things through! There must be a logical explanation for this!'
For about five minutes, the pink furred cat just sat there, trying to think of how this could have happened to her. She thought that it might have been some kind of transformation jutsu. But how could an attacker transform her into a freaking pink haired cat? She couldn't think of one Jutsu that could do that to another person!
Mewing pitifully, Sakura laid down her head and felt like crying. But it was not easy for a cat to cry.
'Okay. I've got to find Kiba and Akamaru. They must be around here somewhere. If I can find them and get them to take me back to Tsunade, we can find out what the hell happened and how to make me change back!' Sakura told herself as she stood back up and began hurrying through the long grass looking around. 'Thank Kami that cats have such good night vision because it's so dark tonight! There's not even a shred of moonlight to guide me!'
For what seemed hours, Sakura ran through the grass, calling out for Kiba and Akamaru, hoping that they could understand cat language. She could understand herself but she still could hear herself mewing loudly as she continued to search for them.
It wasn't until it was getting very late before she felt so exhausted that she really needed sleep. She was so tired and her throat started to hurt from meowing so loudly for Kiba or Akamaru. Her paws were starting to hurt from stepping on a few sharp clumps of grass and the tail behind her was getting very annoying because it was starting to pick up straight bits of grass. It felt weird to even have a bloody tail! Many times she had glanced over her shoulder and nearly gave herself a heart attack before realizing that the tail was hers.
Exhausted, Sakura decided to curl up under a bush and get some sleep. She prayed to the gods above that when she woke up, this would be all over. She prayed that it would have all been a dream and she would wake up from this nightmare.
Too bad when the sun rose in the morning, she woke up to a catipillar crawling up her nose. She almost shrieked when she opened her eyes and saw it right before her eyes.
Seeing that she was still a pink haired cat, Sakura began spitting and cursing at whoever had attacked her the night before. She swore that whoever was responsible for this, she was going to make them pay. DEARLY!
So once again, Sakura began wandering a massive field of grass, looking for Kiba and Akamaru. She was finding it very difficult because of the long grass. It was almost impossible for her to see over it. Not to mention, her stomach was causing her a lot of pain from hunger. She had no food with her and she would damned that she would hunt down a bird and eat it raw.
It was about high noon before Sakura decided to do something rash and that was climbing a tree and getting a look at her surroundings.
For a moment, it was very hard for her to do. She couldn't very well use Chakra as a cat. She already tried and found that she couldn't do anything without her actual hands. She mewed pitifully again before realizing that she did have a nice set of claws. And since cats were good climbers, she decided to use them.
Climbing the tree with her new found claws turned out to be rather easy. It felt pretty good climbing a tree. She almost laughed at herself as she scaled up the tree until she reached the top of the tree and looked around.
In her greatest of dismay, other than being a stupid fluffy pink cat, there was nothing for miles. She couldn't even see any of the villages or any people.
'Now how in the hell am I going to get down?' Sakura said to herself before feeling extremely afraid. She didn't know how cats got down from trees. She had never had a cat and never had time to watch cats climb trees and such so she was clueless. She then realized, in her greatest of horror, she was stuck in a tree. 'Someone shoot me now!'
For nearly an hour, Sakura sat up in the tree, trying to think of a way to get down. She paced many times, looking down for any way. She could have jumped but that was sure a very long way down to the ground. She knew that cats landed on their feet when they fell but she was not about to attempt it.
Of course, a shadow caught her attention, making her look up to see that there was a hawk circling the area. She paid no mind to it. It was a hawk just looking for food.
So Sakura looked back down the tree and tried to figure out what she could do to get back down the tree. She figured she could try climbing down but she wasn't entirely sure how to do that. She suppose she could attempt it. She just prayed that she didn't slip and fall. She wasn't sure how much it would hurt to fall at this height.
Suddenly, she heard the hawk scream and heard the rapid beating of wings. She had been quite startled so she looked up quickly only to see the hawk coming at her with talons flashing in the sun. She gasped and tried to dive for cover but it was already a little too late. The hawk was too close now and it snatched at her back, cutting into her fur and skin and yanking her right of the tree.
Sakura shrieked in pain and thrashed a little, trying to use those cat claws to swipe at the hawk. It seemed to work because it released her and she fell right out of the air. She couldn't help but shriek again as she fell, her legs sprawled out and she was looking around with terror.
The ground came too fast but Sakura still found herself landing on her feet, yet knocking the air out of her lungs. She didn't have time to suck back in her air because the hawk was coming screaming back. She barely had time to look over her shoulder at the diving bird before she bolted across the grassy plain. 'Damn it! Stop attacking me! Hawks don't eat cats, do they?' She shrieked to herself. She yelped when she felt the brush of the hawk's talons but decided to stop suddenly and spin around to run in the other direction.
The hawk shrieked angrily as it crashed against the ground before taking off after her. She could hear it right behind her as it rose high into the sky and then dove again.
Frantically, Sakura looked around for any type of shelter and spied a hole in a tree. She dove for that, feeling the hawk right on her tail before she went crashing into the hole, hitting the inside of the trunk. The hawk crashed against the tree and squawked loudly as it tried to get into the tree.
Breathing hard and in pain, Sakura turned around and stared wide eyed at the hawk, watching it as it tried to get at her before it decided to give up. There was no way it was getting to her. So it took off.
For a very long time, Sakura just sat inside the tree trunk breathing hard and feeling the stinging pain in her back. She was almost too afraid to move at all. It took a very long time before she twisted her upper body around to look at the injuries the hawk had given her. She almost winced heavily to see how deep the gashes were. The hawk had gotten her very good. Her entire back was bloody and there was still blood seeping out from her fur. It stung like a bitch too.
Groaning painfully, Sakura tried to think of what she could do. She did not want to lick her wounds like a normal cat would do but if she didn't stop the bleeding, she might bleed to death.
So making a face of disgust, she began licking the wound. She stopped many times to shake her head and gag on the taste of blood. It wasn't too bad, to be honest. Her blood was rather salty and sweet with the twinge of iron but it was the idea that she was licking her own blood that made her stomach twist. She swore she was never going to tell anyone about this. If they found out that she actually got attacked and nearly mauled to death by a hawk, they would never let her live it down.
Hungry, exhausted, Sakura couldn't help but curl in a ball and feel like crying again. She couldn't believe that things were so bad. All because she was going on a damn peace mission with Kiba and Akamaru. She swore when she found out who had done this to her, she was going to make them feel so much pain.
Eventually, Sakura drifted off to sleep.
It was the sound of rain and few drops of water that woke Sakura back up from her painless sleep. She hissed in pain when the gashes in her back struck her again. She did her best to ignore it as she lift her head and look at the mouth of the tree hole. The rain was just barely starting to come down.
'Hm. Water might help alot. It'll certainly wash out any bacteria that might have gotten into it. Not to mention, who knows what that hawk had been putting its claws into.' Sakura told herself before she painfully pushed herself to her paws and crawled out of the tree.
Another hiss of pain escaped her as the water began to hit the gashes but Sakura did her best to ignore it. She grimaced as her paws began to squish in newly made mud. This was disgusting. 'Oh, what I wouldn't do for a nice hot bath right now.' She groaned to herself before climbing onto a root of the tree and just sat there, letting the rain fall onto her back. She heard herself cry as the rain hurt her gashes even more but she tried her best to ignore it.
Sighing, Sakura turned her furry head upward and looked at the darkened sky, grimacing a few times as rain drops hit her eyes. 'Oh. Why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong to deserve this?' She asked herself, hearing a weak mew escape her. 'Kiba! Akamaru! Where are you?' She tried to call, only mewing pitifully. 'I wanna go home now. I wish I never went on this stupid mission.'
Hanging her head, Sakura sighed softly before lowering herself into a low crouch and just let the rain water fall onto her back. She couldn't stop herself from crying softly from the pain it caused. But she knew that it needed to be cleaned; being rain water or not.
"Huh? What is that noise?"
Sakura's entire body jolted and she almost felt every single hair on her body stood up. It hurt the gash even more when she moved so suddenly, causing her to yelp loudly and nearly fall to her side. She spun around with wide eyes when she heard movement right behind her and nearly jumped out her skin as the bushes to the side spread apart, revealing a large dark figure. It was almost too dark for her to see that person but felt froze right where she was when she saw that orange swirled mask.
'Oh...no.' Sakura thought in horror as she recognized that mask. She couldn't see what the person in the mask was wearing but she already had a clue.
The person in the mask gasped as soon as he saw her before shoving himself through the bushes. "Kitty! A kitty-kitty!" The man said in such a child-like tone as he made a few steps towards Sakura. And he was wearing a black cloak with red clouds imprinted in the fabric.
Terrified out of her wits and knowing she couldn't defend herself against this Akatsuki, Sakura decided that the best thing to do was run. So she tried to bolt, wincing heavily as the gashes in her back started to give her problems. She yelped in pain but tried to run away from the Akatsuki.
She did not get very far at all.
The gash in her back seemed to decide to take a toll on her back legs and she tripped head over feet and landed hard in the mud, hurting her even more. She cried out in pain and just laid there for a moment, shivering in the rain.
"OH! No! The kitty-kitty is hurt! You're bleeding, kitty-kitty! Tobi must get kitty-kitty some help!" The Akatsuki, obviously Tobi, cried out as he hurried over to where Sakura collapsed in the mud and scooped her right up into his arms.
Sakura froze, looking wildly up at the masked Akatsuki. She couldn't even find herself to try and get free. The pain in her back was stinging very badly as it was.
"Don't worry, kitty-kitty! Tobi will get you some help! Tobi is a good boy!" The masked Akatsuki told her brightly before opening up his cloak and stuffing her inside before he turned and began running through the rain.
Still, Sakura couldn't believe this. She had been turned into a cat, attacked by a hawk and now she was being rescued by none other than an Akatsuki. If things couldn't get any worst, the body warmth drifting right off of this guy was almost soothing and it made her feel tired. Mewing weakly, Sakura couldn't stop her eyes from drooping as she found herself actually snuggling closer to the warmth of this guy. 'Oh, Kami hates me! I'm actually finding comfort in an S class psychopath!' She said sleepily to herself before she closed her eyes and found only darkness.