Trapped
My name is Roger, and I am currently working in a distribution of calculators. However, I'm going to tell you a rather odd tale, about an ordinary day that turned rather absurd.
At precisely 6:07am I woke up and put my lovely purple dressing gown on, that of which I received for my birthday not too long ago, from Aunt Clara. I slipped on my size 6 slippers and carefully walked down the stairs. I always keep low when descending down a flight of stairs, so it would be less of a fall if I happened to trip. I then forgot my glasses, so I slowly swivelled around, and carried on up the 13 steps. I gently picked up my glasses and put them on. That's better, I thought. So I walked back towards the stairs, and began my slow descent once again.
Once I was downstairs I walked rather happily into the kitchen, and opened up my rather large cupboard, and picked up the one and only item inside. My cereal box. I do love my Cheerio's in the morning. I took out a breakfast bowl, and counted precisely 39 Cheerio's to pour into my bowl. But this is where it got a bit strange. 3 more Cheerio's dropped in. That would mean I had 42 Cheerio's in my quite small breakfast bowl. So I took them out and flicked them until they crumbled. That will teach them, I thought. I took out a lovely spoon that of which I received from an old man, and started to masticate. I like to masticate exactly 67 times before I swallow my mushy cereal. After I finished eating breakfast, I slowly got changed into my lovely suit, ready for work.
I like to jog to work these days. It takes me 1 hour and 78 minutes to jog to work, and sometimes I get laughed at by old people, and have bricks hurled at me from teenagers, but I'm cutting down my CO emissions. Well, not exactly, because I'm still producing carbon dioxide, perhaps maybe more than usual, because of my respiratory system working a lot more.
When I finally got to work, I pressed the button for a nice lift to drop down and pick me up, and then take me to my distribution of calculators office. The doors opened, and I quickly stepped inside, frightened if the doors shut on me. I pressed the circle with the number 13 on it, and the doors came to a close. I was on my own inside the lift. So I started to hum, 'April Showers' from the wonderful film, Bambi. I was taken to go and see that marvellous moving picture, when I was 43. I cried when it ended.
All of a sudden, the lift came to an abrupt halt. I lurched forward, but because of my lightning reflexes, I was able to put my arms out, to stop me from falling. I wondered what had happened. Maybe the lift had stopped.
It felt like the lift wasn't moving, so I sat down and waited.
After precisely 4 hours and 12 seconds, I decided to use the little telephone on the lift, in case you get stuck. I pressed the big red button, and started speaking…
'Hello, my name is Roger Rexel, and I work for the distribution of calculators. I have been brought to a halt by a piece of machinery, called a 'lift''.
I never was bought out of that lift. As I sit here now, in my lovely cottage just outside Oxford, I remind myself never, to put 42 Cheerio's in my bowl, ever, ever again.