Authors Note: this was originally written three years ago, before OOTP. I've decided to revamp it. This is WAY AU now. Let's say Alternate 5th year fic. This is a Songfic to John Mayer's "My Stupid Mouth", the quintessential song for Ronald Weasley.

Disclaimer… I own nothing. Seriously. Starving Artist.

My stupid Mouth Has got me into trouble again

I said too much again to a date over dinner yesterday

I could tell she was offended

She said "well anyway . . ." Just dying for a subject change

Ron Weasley sat alone in the common room, with his head in his hands. He had had the best thing going in his life, and he went and screwed it up. He had gone on a date with Hermione. Hermione Granger. His best friend, the smartest witch in their year, and the girl he had secretly liked since their second year (he hadn't even admitted that to himself until recently). He still didn't know where he had gotten the courage to ask her out in the first place. Some bloody Gryffindor he was.

Fred and George had decked the common room with their own brand of Christmas decorations, and a sprig of enchanted mistletoe hung in the entrance to the common room. He didn't know if it was luck or fate (though he hoped for the latter) that he and Hermione had entered the common room at exactly the same time. He had come in from the annual snowball fight, she, from god knows where. Probably from the library. Or maybe the kitchens, trying to start another house-elf revolution. Bloody mental, he thought.

He did know it was luck that no one was in the common room, for if anyone had been there he would've been mortally embarrassed. The twins had put some sort of charm on the mistletoe, so that whenever two people of the opposite sex crossed under it, they would be held there until they shared a kiss. They had looked at each other and Ron had felt the blush creep up his face. He stared down at her, and before he knew it, his head was dipping towards hers. To his great surprise, she had tilted her head towards him, and was standing on her tiptoes. Their lips met in a sweet, if awkward kiss. They broke apart, and the regret that Ron had expected to see in Hermione's eyes was nowhere to be seen. Instead Hermione's eyes were bright and there was a sparkle that Ron had never seen before. A smile played upon her lips, and her cheeks were flushed. Finally, his knees stopped shaking, and he found his voice.

"Hey Mione, you . . . ah . . . Do you . . . do you wanna go with me to Hogsmeade with me today? Catch an early dinner?" he asked and despite her reaction from the kiss, he braced himself for the rejection he knew was bound to happen. But no rejection came. Instead she smiled that lovely smile and when she spoke, her voice was soft. "I would love to, Ron." He couldn't believe that this was happening. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Let me just go get my cloak." With that she was gone, up the stairway to the girls' dormitory. Ron stood there for a moment, a goofy grin plastered on his face. Hermione appeared by his side again, and they were off. There was little conversation on the way, for the weather had grown worse. When the two had reached the outskirts of the town, the wind had come up. They hurried to the Hogsmeade Coffee Shop and ran inside. Immediately a waitress appeared and led them to a table near a window overlooking the street. Ron and Hermione pulled their cloaks off, and he pulled her chair out for her. She sat down and smiled thankfully up at him. He sat down in his own chair. And they began to look over the menus. The waitress appeared again, and took their orders. After they had ordered they both smiled nervously at one another.

"So. . ." Ron said, desperate to start some sort of conversation.

"So . . ." Hermione answered. There remained an awkward silence for a time until some of Ron's nervousness melted. "Look this is stupid," he said "we've been best friends for five years now right? So why is conversation so hard?" that seemed to break the ice that had formed between them and from, there their conversation flowed. They shared stories of their childhoods. They laughed, smiled, and barely acknowledged the food that had begun to get cold. Soon the conversation turned to the state of their relationship.

"Um . . . Mione, do you consider this a date?" he asked. He prayed with everything he had that she would say yes.

"I guess so. That is if you do. She smiled at him and he felt relieved and elated at the same time.

"Yeah." He grinned back at her. He was the happiest person in the world at that moment. Then he opened his mouth.

Oh, another social casualty Score one more for me

How could I forget? Mama said "think before speaking"

No filter in my head

Oh, what's a boy to do I guess he better find one soon

"So what would Vicky say about this date?" Ron asked and as soon as he had, he wished he could've taken it back. Her face slowly changed. She stopped smiling and her face took on a look of bewilderment.

"Who cares what he has to say Ron?" Hermione said, and although Ron heard the undercurrent of anger in her voice, he continued. It was like he couldn't stop himself.

"Well, it's just that you two were practically glued to each other at the Yule Ball, and you went to his house during the summer break. I would've thought that you would have been going out by now." He had had no idea why he brought up the Yule Ball. There was an unspoken agreement between them never to mention that particular row.

"Well, we're not. And I never went to his house over the summer. You know that. I was with you, for god's sake! I can't believe that you are still hanging onto this!" Hermione said, and Ron cringed. He knew she was upset.

We bit our lips.

She looked out the window Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper

I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper

And I could see clearly An indelible line that was drawn

Between what was good,

what just Slipped out,

and what went wrong

If Ron thought the silence before was awkward, there was no defining this. They finished their food and he stood up to pay the bill. To his dismay Hermione insisted they split the check. So much for their date. They hurried back through the snow to the castle and nothing else was said. When they finally reached the common room they discovered it empty. Fred and George's decorations were also missing. McGonagall must have found them.

"Thank you for dinner Ron." Hermione said, and without another word, turned and left to her dorm. Ron just stood there and looked into the fire. Hermione came down the stairs a moment later. She had changed out of her clothes, and had her bookbag in her hand. She said nothing but climbed through the portrait hole. Ron knew she was heading for the library. That's where she always headed when she was upset with something. He knew that he should probably get out of his wet clothes too, but instead he went over to an overstuffed chair in the corner and collapsed.

Oh the way she feels about me has changed

Thanks for playing, try again

How could I forget? Mama said "think before speaking"

No filter in my head

Oh, what's a boy to do

I guess he better find one

Ron sat there, reliving the horrible day. The portrait hole slowly opened and Ron knew it was too early to be anyone coming from dinner. He turned to face it, half nervous, half relieved. It was not Hermione who climbed through however. Ron realized it was Harry. He groaned. He didn't feel like telling Harry what happened, because he knew Harry would tell him the truth- that he had screwed up royally. Frankly, he didn't want to hear it.

"What's wrong Ron? What happened between you and Hermione?" Harry asked. He sat down opposite from him.

"What makes you think something's wrong? And even if there was something wrong, why do you think it had something to do with Hermione?" Ron asked. How did Harry know?

"Well, for starters, both you and Hermione have been MIA since you left the snowball fight this morning. Second you're sitting here miserably, and finally, when I left the great hall to look for you two, Hermione ran passed me crying. I don't even think she saw me."

"Oh bloody hell. I made her cry?" Ron had been angry with himself in the first place, but now. . .

"Yeah. . . What did you do this time Ron?"

"Well . . . " He hesitated. This was really embarrassing. Then he realized that he was talking to Harry, and if he couldn't tell him, he couldn't tell anyone. It might be good to talk about it. Maybe he could get Harry to go talk to her for him. So he told his story.

I'm never speaking up again.

It only hurts me I'd rather be a mystery than have her desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again

Starting now

When he finished, Harry just looked at him. Finally he spoke. "Damn Ron."

"I know."

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

"No." he answered miserably.

"Well this is just a suggestion. But I would go to her and apologize. Lay your cards on the table. Explain that you were just jealous of Krum-" Ron opened his mouth to object, when he realized that Harry was right. He was jealous of Krum. Harry saw the realization dawn on Ron's face. "Yeah. . . Go to her Ron. She needs you."

"When did you get so bloody smart Harry?"

"Well someone has to look out for the two of you. Now go, before it's too late." Ron nodded and stood up. "Hey Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. . . . I owe you one."


One more thing Why is it my fault?

So maybe I try too hard

But it's all because of this desire

I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny

Looks like the jokes on me

So call me captain backfire

Ron entered the Library. It was deserted. He knew where Hermione was likely to be. There was a small alcove in the back of the library. Hermione often went there to study, and Ron knew it was her sanctuary. As he walked through the shelves of books he tried to think of what he was going to say. He drew closer to the back and he could see her. She was sitting on a pillow on the floor, staring out the window. Her beautiful bushy hair surrounded her. The moonlight cast a soft glow on everything, for she had blown out the candles on the walls.

"Hermione?" he called out softly. He didn't want to startle her. "I'm sorry." He pulled a pillow from off a chair and sat down on the floor next to her. The moon shone on her face, and she had tears in her eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I screwed up. Totally. Completely. No question about it." She was about to answer him when he raised his hand to stop her.

"No let me say this. You see I had an amazing day today. I went out with the girl I have loved since I was twelve and I screwed up. I guess I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it was happening. So what do I do? I resort to what I always do when confronted by my feelings for you. I lash out. I was acting crazy and stupid and irrational. I'm sorry for bringing up Vicky- Viktor. I guess I'm jealous. He has everything I've ever wanted in my life. He has fame and fortune and success. And he has you. I just . . ." He faltered off. "I'm sorry 'mione."

He finally looked up into her eyes. Her face was wet with the tears that had spilled over. "Are you finished?" she asked. Ron cringed. "yes." He said, defeated.

I'm never speaking up again.

It only hurts me I'd rather be a mystery than have her desert me.

Oh I'm never speaking up again

Starting now

"Ronald Weasley! I cannot believe you! How could you even think I could ever love someone other than you! I was never Viktor's. He knows that. He didn't like it, but he knows it. He also knew why I wasn't his: my heart already belongs to someone else. It killed me with that whole Yule Ball row last year. I saw him as a friend. Nothing else! It would've been the same if I would've gone with Harry! And I meant what I said last year. Next time there is a ball, ask me first, and not as a last resort!" Ron couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Lemme get this straight. You love me?"

"God Ron! More than anything!" they were both smiling stupidly and he brought his hands up to wipe away her tears. She did the same. He didn't even realize that he had been crying. He kissed her forehead, and Hermione pulled his face down. Their lips met, sealing the unspoken pact between them. Hermione leaned into his embrace. With Hermione in his arms Ron made the resolution that he would never put his foot in his mouth again.

Well, he would try not to.