So, I realize that I should be writing the next chapters for my other fics, but those have been started and are at home on my computer rotting while I'm on spring break. So, after spending eight lovely hours in a car listening my iPod I thought of this (and many other things that have nothing to do with this). Enjoy it, or hate it; it is up to you.

Title: A Quiet Mind

Rating: K

AU: No, for once.

Archive: If I ever figure out how to work Amorous Intent, then perhaps.

Summary: '…I'm in pain, but I won't let you band-aid the wound…'

Robert Goren detested the men at bars who stole one dark corner of the room and drowned themselves in their own miseries. He loathed the men who drunk whiskey and let it burn down their throats as they resisted ever urge to throw the glass across the world just to hear the familiar shattering of a whole into a million pieces. He hated the men who watched the women from afar and wished that the one he wanted was the woman eyeing him over her drink at the bar. He despised himself for doing every single one of these things for the last four hours of his life tonight.

With each passing tick of the clock he felt the buzz behind his eyes rise up in a wave against his thoughts. The smoky air of the bar gave way to the monsters of shadow and doubt swimming in his mind. One long fingered hand idly traced the top of his glass. His surprise at the glass for not shattering under his touch like everything else he had come across the last few days gave way to his darker thought: He wanted it to shatter.

The small tinkle of the glass as the pieces fell to the table, and the unlikely impact of one solitary shard twisting up to meet the flesh of his wrist. How perfect that his destructing of everything would end him. Oh, how he wanted it to.

'A slow strangle with feet on the floor
I've got 14 angels and we're sleeping alone
In the back of a cave, where the rest of us go
To feel normal'

His head fell towards his chest and his fingers tightened on the glass. Each breath that escaped his body pushed him farther into his mind. He centered his thoughts-Alex. Why? Why did he do it? After all those years she had stayed with him, put up with him, given him a second chance and been there to help him he had pushed her away when he truly needed her. Those two words the final shove over the cliff.

'She doesn't care. She only stuck around to hang onto your solve rate. She always wanted to get rid of you. She's been waiting for this-this break to take advantage of it and move on. She's never helped you. All those late nights…'

His fingers left the glass and tapped on the wood of the table. His mind's angry rant rang in his head.

'…Where she was taking car of you she was setting this up, making you dependant of her so that you would break. What has she really done for you? Has she ever asked to help you when not prompted by some little comment you made? You're just as bad; every little word hanging in the air, wanting her help. She's useless you to. She never really wanted to stay. Look at what you've done to her. She's the second half of the Golden Team, but she never does anything. It's you; you're the one who discovers everything! You don't need her!'

He cradled his head in his hands willing the rant to end, to stop.

'I call baby up. Leave me alone.
I'm in pain but I won't let you band-aid the wound
I'm mad at a stage where I can't even handle my own.'

He forced his body up from the table, threw the money down and was out in the chilly air before anyone could hear his thoughts and see his confusion. More stares, and more pity; he never wanted that. He never had wanted that…

'She just pities you. You can see it in her eyes. That glazed over look you long for is her mind blacking you out of the picture. Her crazy partner that she doesn't want, her annoying "friend" that gets in the way of everything, but we have to pity the more man with the crazy mother and alcoholic father.'

His feet carried him the blocks and miles to his apartment. The maze of streets whipped before his eyes as he headed home. His body moved, but his mind never registered the surroundings. One arm knocked the small body of an overly pierced teen into a window, but the chivalry that usually bubbled forth stayed inside his preoccupied mind. Each passing second brought him closer to safety, to home.

'She doesn't want you around!'

His body bounded up the stairs, bypassing the elevator, and came to his door. His body stopped. His mind finally quieted. His door lay partly open and light shone through the bottom. His eyes grazed the top of the door. The extra key was still there. Everything running through his mind stood still. Alex…

'Give me a quiet mind and I...
I love you
You give me a quiet mind and I...
I love you
Until the end.'

His body moved now with all the caution his mind had taught it over the years. He cleared the door and found his way blocked by the tiny body in front of his door. Alex's honey brown eyes found his.

"Where the hell have you been all night, Bobby? It's fucking three in the morning. I've been here for hou-" Bobby's anger flared.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't call you to tell you when I'd be in. I wasn't aware that you were in charge of everything I did now. Here, for the rest of the night I'll be drinking in my living room watching the History channel and porn. Satisfied?" Her eyes darkened.

"That's a good combination for someone who might have just lost his job. I figured you'd be calling your partner to see if you still had a job-and partner." She brushed him out of the way. "Or seeing your mother. But if you want to drown yourself in a day and night of alcohol feel free." She hadn't…His hand slammed the door shut before she could leave. Each muscle in his body tensed.

"Don't you dare. .."

She spun to face him. "Dare what? Dare you actually care about my partner and friend of six years? That's fine. I'm done. I'm done trying to help you."

"You have never once tried to help me!"

"What?" Bobby felt the energy and anger radiating from her body. "I've done everything for you. I've covered for your ass for hours while you were off, I've been there to pick up the pieces when everything in your life fell, I was the one who did everything for you after Nicole and Jo and your brother." She shoved him into the living room of his apartment. "I gave you a second chance! I was the only one who bothered to stay with you!" Bobby's anger raged.

"Stayed? Gave me a second chance? I'm not blind, and I'm definitely not stupid, Eames. You were the only one smart enough to figure it out, I'll give you that. It was a great cover-"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't see why I never noticed. What was your solve rate before we were partnered? What is it now? It's brilliant. Put up with the crazy detective and be an instant success!" He laughed and spread his hands out. "It's quite genius for someone like you."

Every light in her mind extinguished after that. The anger that had accelerating her mind slowed it down to a near stop. No one had ever spoken to her with this much hate and loathing…And never had it been Bobby.

'Give me strength to be kind... To combine
All the good things in life that were so hard to find
But I have and I won't let them go like I do with my friends.'

The dark side of Bobby's mind quickly conquered his throat, tongue and lips. His rant continued to assault the quiet woman in front of him. She listened to the rant as it tumbled out of his mouth and attacked her ears. The silence afterwards was violent and hungry for more of the pain that had been spilled into the air only moments before.

"You really think that-that I would…"She shook her head. "That's fine. Just remember that tomorrow. I'm leaving." Bobby's anger peaked.

"So upset that I finally figured you out? Running away from it now? That's doesn't sound like the cunning bitch I've known for six years." She stayed quiet and reached for the door. Bobby gave into the silence and feed the anger. His fingers found the empty coffee mug on the table and closed around it. In one sweep of his left arm the ceramic mug sailed through the air, missed Alex and shattered as it hit the wall in front of her. What Bobby had hoped for only an hour before took place then. One splinter of the mug tore the flesh under Alex's left eye. The diagonal line of red struck her down more in surprise than pain. She fell to her knees and covered her face with her hand.

'Still bearing voices... From front... From behind
They're the reasons I choose... When to live... How to die
When to cast... When to reel
When to buy... When to steal
When to fiend for the friends that taught me
Being inappropriate will'

Every ounce of anger fled his body then. He stopped breathing as he watched Alex fall before him. It was about then that he wanted to die. He was over her in two strides, and he was beside her by the time her hand was half way to her face. He reached out for it, to stop it and look that the cut, but she growled. Her other hand hit his hand with enough force to send the shock through his arm and to his shoulder. He tried again and this time her body flinched away from his. She was up on her feet and away from him as one thought ran through his mind: He had hurt Alex. He had hurt Alex. He had hurt Alex…

He stayed there until she tried to walk around him. Her steps were fast and long, but he was desperate. He sprang up half to his feet, wrapped his arms around her waist and fell to his knees. She stiffened as he pressed his cheek against her back.

"Alex, please…No, I'm sorry…Sorry…Don't go…Please…Anything, I'll do anything…Don't go." Bobby's tears leaked through her shirt and she stopped trying to move. A long trail of red dripped off of her arm onto the floor to join Bobby's bloody trail from where the ceramic cut into his knees.

For the first time in her life she was afraid of Robert Goren.

'Give me a quiet mind and I...
I love you
You give me a quiet mind and I...
I love you
Till the end'

TBC

RRRAAAWWWRRR!!! Now, you can all pelt me with fire and ferrets after spring break is over.