NOTE

For the sake of this story; everything that happens between Minerva McGonagall and Dougal McGregor as well as McGonagall and Elphinstone Urquart takes place in the years leading up to the First Wizarding War. Also for this story's sake, Urquart's demise comes prior to that of McGregor.

Part One: Minerva

Chapter One: NEWTs

Minerva walked slowly toward the hospital wing, her eyes unfocused and her mind swimming with sudden realizations. Questions she had asked herself a few months prior plagued her once more. What have I done? How could I have let this happen? How…irresponsible.

The doors to her destination were open to admit her entrance, but the matron was already busy fussing over a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy who happened to have a broken wrist.

She leaned against the doors as an overwhelming sensation of fatigue washed over her. It was only then that Minerva realized she had missed breakfast due to waking with a migraine and an insoluble urge to vomit. Now here she was at the hospital wing instead of the Great Hall.

Minerva closed her eyes as bright afternoon sunlight filtered through the high infirmary windows. Being both mentally and physically unable to propel them away, she let thoughts of the mistakes she had made in the past four months slip back into her already occupied mind.

As the memories replayed over and over in her mind like broken records, Minerva was finding it just as hard to breathe as it was to stand at the moment.

The matron, aware of the subtle buckle of Minerva's knees, quickly sent the boy on his way and took a few quick strides over to Minerva. She tried asking her colleague what was wrong after she had gotten her settled on the nearest cot but the professor looked as though she was in an unbreakable daze.

"Minerva? Will you please tell me what's wrong? You're scaring me." After yet another failed attempted at getting her to talk, the nurse figured that if she'd give her a moment, she would soon find her voice. Sure enough Minerva drew a shaky breath and began to speak, though regrettably without making much sense to the aforetime confused matron.

"I don't know what to do. I thought about it, but it's not fair, not when she wouldn't have a chance. But it would change everything. Poppy, I don't─" Minerva broke off and silently cursed herself as unshed tears started to sting her eyes.

"Mina, what exactly is this about? You're not making much sense." Poppy was now thoroughly confused. Never before had she seen Minerva McGonagall look so distraught.

Well, maybe that wasn't completely true. The last time Minerva (or Mina as Poppy liked to call her) was this unsure of herself was when Dougal McGregor was in the picture but, as far as Poppy knew, that was a number of years ago.

Minerva had since been both engaged and married to Elphinstone Urquart. Urquart, however, had passed about three months prior due to a Venomous Tentacula bite. Minerva had been devastated at the time and decided to spend a few days with her family at her childhood home. Upon her return she had moved from her former home in Hogsmeade back to her study here at Hogwarts.

"That's just it, Poppy," Minerva began bringing her friend back to the present. "It doesn't make sense. I can't be. I just can't."

Poppy, now having a sneaking suspicion of what the professor was on about, reached for her wand and discreetly pulled it out of her pocket.

"Mina, if you are implying what I think you are─" Minerva looked up at Poppy as a single involuntary tear slid down her sleep-deprived face.

Poppy quickly looked around the wing (which currently housed no ill students due to the fact that the NEWTs were to take place soon and most of the students who spent their time in the hospital wing were currently located in the library) then to the doors which she had closed when she'd led Minerva away from them. She then pointed her wand directly at Minerva; just above her hairline.

"May I?" the matron asked as she recalled a spell from her memory. Minerva gave a curt nod and Poppy ran her wand down the length of her friend's body and back, muttering under her breath as she went.

"It's a diagnostic spell, a complex one, but it will give specific details." Poppy explained as her wand fell back to her side.

Minerva opened her mouth to speak but the sudden radiant yellow glow of her skin stopped her. Poppy's eyes widened at the sight then flicked to the clock on the wall above the doors.

After about a minute, Minerva spoke quietly as tears still threatened to spill. "Poppy? What does it mean?"

"It means, my dear," she began, eyes still glued to the clock. "That you are indeed expecting."

At that point Minerva had lost all resolve and broke down completely. Her once strong façade replaced by that of pure sorrow. Poppy turned to Minerva and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Mina," she started with a small, sad smile on her face. "Aren't you happy?"

All Minerva could manage to do at the moment was to shake her head. She began taking deep calming breaths, cursing herself yet again for being so foolish. Foolish for what mistake had led her to this.

As the yellow glow of Minerva's skin faded, Poppy looked back at the clock. "The glow lasted about three minutes, so you're just a smidge under three months along." The nurse explained.

"How could I have let this happen? What have I done?" Minerva asked faintly, finally voicing her earlier doubts to Poppy at last.

Instead of attempting to answer the professor's questions, Poppy asked her own. "Elphinstone fathered the child, did he not? Is that why you're so upset, dear?"

"Indeed. Elphinstone was the father," Minerva affirmed but not without notable hesitance. "Though that is not why I am upset. This was─ is a complete mistake. How am I to raise a child when there is a war on our doorstep? You can deny it all you like Poppy but you know it's true. How could I bring a child into the world knowing what lies in the near future?"

Poppy tried consoling her friend but Minerva's stubborn nature just wouldn't allow it. She had heard the bit of hesitance in the professor's voice but refused to question it. "Minerva, how could you be so sure? Hardly anything has happened─"

"Yet, Poppy, hardly anything has happened yet. Things could be different in ten years, in twenty years. There is no telling how this could end. No telling how it truly begins."

Somewhere deep down Poppy knew Minerva was right. Things could go from bad to worse with as little as a flick of the wand. Well, she thought, there's only one thing you can do at a time like this.

"You'll have to speak to Albus, you know. As soon as possible. I could come with you if you'd like."

Minerva nodded in agreement, silently thanking Merlin that she didn't have to face the Headmaster alone. "Of course. I suppose we should do that now."

Before they could leave, however, Poppy, suddenly remembering something, turned to Minerva. "When we're finished with the Headmaster would you mind coming back down here with me? There are a few more diagnostics I would like to perform. It's nothing major, just to ensure your health…and the baby's."

Heading toward the infirmary exit, Minerva uncharacteristically bit her lip. The one thing Minerva had always been determined to be was honest, yet here she was not even able to be honest with herself. Why had she told Poppy that Elphinstone was the father? Because she wouldn't understand, she told herself, no one would. She sighed as if to clear her mind and continued on her way, Poppy on her heels.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? - S