Title; Myths of the Uchiha
Disclaimer; Nope I don't own any of the Naruto characters.
I've noticed several little oddity's that are used so much that one might think they were actually canon, so I thought some sort of humour fic was necessary; I've decided to take a crack view of these instances.
Begin.
Prompt One: Sasuke happens to have some form of jewellery from his mother to be given to whomever his love happens to be, but for some odd reason this also happens to be the only thing of his mother's that he has left;
"So Sasuke unfortunately it seems that Itachi also took or burned most of your families possessions." Explained the Third Hokage his heart heavy at having to tell the traumatised young boy his news, it was all part of Itachi's grand plan to ultimately protect the boy but Sarutobi was still pained to have to be so callus to the boy.
"I see…what was left?" asked the boy surprisingly cold and business like; Sarutobi supposed he shouldn't have expected anything less of Fugaku Uchiha's son, the man had been tenacious and it seemed Sasuke had inherited that trait.
"These were all that the Anbu could find." Answered Sarutobi gesturing to what was essentially all of the boys possessions in the world, he wasn't old enough to inherit the title of clan head and hence would be forced to live life exactly like any other orphan; a small apartment and food stamps, the boy would refuse adoption and this was the high of the villages social care.
A pendent, a journal, a photo album and an old Shakuhachi sat on the desk.
Oddly the eight year old only picked up pendent before he made to leave the room.
"Sasuke what are you doing, what about the rest of your families items?" asked Sarutobi utterly bewildered at the boys actions; people reacted to grief in all different kinds of ways, tears or anger being the most common; picking your favourite family possession and abandoning the rest was uniquely Sasuke quirk.
"This is a romance story Hokage-sama and I must marry a girl and restore my clan; however I only require one plot item at this time, if we do a sequel or something I'll be back for the rest." Answered the boy as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Sarutobi didn't stop the boy this time; he simply let him leave and made a mental note to have a grief specialist medical ninja look the boy over at some point.
Sasuke entered his first class that morning with a purpose, today he would find a wife and propose to her; fortunately the girls seemed more than happy to scramble towards him.
Like fish in a barrel.
He examined Sakura first, then eyed his pendent; Sapphire blue not pink or emerald green.
The young Uchiha let out a quiet curse and then a not so quiet stout of 'Next'; Sakura her heart broken scrambled from the room in tears.
After a long ten minutes of checking Sasuke was upset to find that not one of his classmates matched his plot device, Ino had come closest but even her eyes weren't the right shade of blue; and if Sasuke had learned anything from romance novels his mother read to him it was that the plot device matched the leading woman miraculously perfectly; huffing the boy took his seat and awaited the start of class.
Perhaps an accident in the future would alter or weaken his perception of colour and then one of the girls would match, Sasuke could only hope.
"What's up Sasuke?" asked Naruto sitting next to him as the teacher entered the room, the genius turned to glare at the blonde and froze…the perfect shade of blue, Naruto's eyes matched his plot device perfectly.
The young Uchiha quickly stood and stalked towards the classroom door.
"Uchiha Sasuke, where do you think you're going?" shouted the teacher shocked by the usually perfectly behaved boy's stunt.
"To see the Hokage…he's got something of mine."
So hopefully that's a short chuckle for you guys, if you have any prompts of your own please send em in to be…don't expect much more than five hundred words but still
Hope you enjoyed!
R&R