I studied her, unfolding her hipster-torn jeans jacket, putting the piece of clothing on- making her become the startling goddess she was. She stood up from the bed, her hips swayed towards the direction of the hallway door, and I could swear that the time froze still. Her clothes sculpted her figure, and she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on.

"What's the light that I see in your eyes, Chloe?" her smile made the world fade away all around.

"Just a quick glance at you reminds me of why I'm still here."

In that very moment, I knew that I was falling- I was falling so fucking hard.

Things can feel so unbelievably good for some time. But then one day you can just fucking trip, and fall down that hole again. And you don't know how to climb back up again. I had just managed to be happy for the first time in a very long time, but the darkness eventually catches up on you-

One step in front of the other, I balanced over the rails. My hands out in the air as a bird's wings caught in the wind. My heart beat as fast the rhythmic rain, drumming against the rigid mud. The thought of an inclosing train made my head rush cold, as the corners of my lips pointed up, thrilled of excitement. The tracks began to quiver as the trains heavy weight rocked forwards, and I looked into the lights in a taunted manner. A loud shriek came to life as the train began to slow down in its haste- I lost my balance, and my foot caught under the rail. I found myself folding in half to the point- my chest collided against the iron tracks. I fought with my lungs to gather air- and for a moment, I truly believed the impact had defeated me. My nerves spiraled out of control, and I kicked my foot out of the tracks and rolled out of the way of the merciless train. I hiccupped, both my arms holding me tight, my eyes watering. I had never felt more alone. I just wanted to self destruct, I don't know why, but I just didn't want to "be" anymore. I managed to be so happy when Max was still around, but as she left, together with her, everything was beginning to fade away. It felt as the whole world around me had an expiration date about to hit soon. But as I returned to my thoughts, in hope that Max would return one day – it gave me the strength to raise from the ground, and to put on a limp show on the way home.

Her head as fragile as glass, I held her very essence between my palms. She was the most beautiful, and purest creation I had witnessed walking the earth – as far as I could tell in experience of my entire sixteen passing years. I stand in front of the mirror, and I can still see her, I imagine her lips pointing up, her teeth's showing along with her tongue stuck in the middle, her arms around my chest.

I swear to you that I will never let go of you- as far as I know, you're the one who makes me smile in a way – I haven't been able to do for a long time. When I hold your hand, sparks ignite within my body- and I feel as if I can take on the night as an almighty feast: filled of experiences for me to take on, by your side, I stand here, in hope to share those memories of the youthful years along with you. If I was granted one wish- it would be to be able to share my life with you.

I wished for a lot of things. I wished I was able to tell Rachel this, as well as I wished that I was able to get a hold of her, and I sincerely wished- that Rachel hadn't left me alone to rot away in Arcadia Bay. But here I stand – alone, accompanied with my journal: the one and only companion I was courageous enough to share my thoughts with.

Eleven Am: Birds were chirping – as I was hurling over the toilet seat.

Drugging myself was the only way I knew how to stop the pain I felt within – but all the meds came with a price – as hugging the toilet after the rush.

The signal of my phone, vibrating- stopped my breath. I shifted my focus upon the screen, and I drew a sharp breath- she was back.

My hands rested on the steering wheel as I waited for her presence. Her figure cut through the sun beams, as she approached the car in a shy manner. I opened the car door for her, and she hoped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Are you mad, Chloe?" her voice sounded sincerely afraid.
"Mad about?"
"Me leaving… you… this town…"

Things fell silent for a while.

"I never meant to hurt you Chloe. I just… needed to leave this town for a while."
"It's fine, Max. I've never been better," I cut her off, but she just gave me a look.
"I really do mean it. Especially since we used to be close."
"Ah. But that was such a long time ago, who remembers anyways?"
"I do. I remember. The memories we shared are still here. I hope it's not too late for things to go back the way they used to be- because I really do miss you Chloe- I miss the old us. I miss the fun we used to have. I miss the way we made each other smile." God if I don't miss you too.
"Yeah… I wish that I could turn back time too." I stared out the window. You don't just erase people, because there are just people that we can't forget, no matter how hard we try.

"You know. Relationships are like flowers. Beautiful at their peaking youth. But as the time goes, they lose their colors, and gain dull." I looked into her amber eyes. The fuck did I say that. Shit. I guess attraction makes you truly dumb.

"What do you mean by that Chloe?"

I waved her off with my hand.

"Are you saying that you've given up on us? That you won't give us a one more time?" I gave her a look.

"What? No-no. I'm just… you left me Max. I know that you can't keep people around in your life forever- but I just thought that we were one of those pirates who said fuck the rules! And once you left- I had no one really. But then I stumbled upon Rachel Amber, and I begun to smile again. But then she disappeared- as it seems that all the people I love do."

Oh god Chloe, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. She could at least have said, but I guess that Max wasn't the most talkative type after all. She caught me by surprise, as she placed her hand upon mine, holding the wheel.

"I'm sorry."