Little Lion Man
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from/related to LOST. Title and lyrics are from Mumford and Son's song Little Lion Man.
A/N: Takes place some time after the series ended.
Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
"So are you going to tell me what happened?"
She had received a call earlier that day telling her that she had to pick up her son. Too worried to ask any questions she dropped what she was doing and headed over to the school. Was something wrong? Was he okay?
"No."
"You know that's not the right answer."
"You're just gonna get mad."
"You don't know that. Not until you tell me what happened." She said as they sat on the sand facing the ocean.
"They were making fun of me."
"Who was making fun of you?"
"The kids at school." He answered digging his feet into the sand.
"What were they saying?"
"They were making fun of me cause I don't have a daddy."
She sighed. "You have a daddy. He's just…not here. Is that why you got into a fight?"
He nodded yes. "You know you're not supposed to start fights."
"They started it. They said that my daddy doesn't love me." For being 6 years old he was very articulate and advanced for his age.
"He does love you."
"How come he's not here?"
"You know he's…" she couldn't bring herself to say it. "You know he'd be here if he could."
"That's not fair!"
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my...
"David Ryan Shepard what did I tell you about yelling?"
"Sorry mommy." He said looking down. "Why does Aaron get a picture with him and I don't?"
"That was a long time ago sweetie. You weren't even close to being born yet."
"Why couldn't you take one when I was born?"
"He…he wasn't around when you were born."
"See my daddy doesn't love me!" he yelled running back to the house.
She knew one day this would come. It was hard for her to talk about him. He had never asked questions about his father, it might have been because she rarely talked about him. Margo told her that it might help her if she did, but it was too hard. David knew that Margo was his father's mother, and learned what he could from her, but at the time he was too young to understand what was really going on.
"David." She said entering the house finding him sitting on the couch. Taking a seat next to him she knew it was time to tell him about his father.
"David just because your daddy isn't here does not mean he doesn't love. You're daddy loves you very much." She said with tears forming in her eyes.
Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble little lion man,
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else
Spend your days biting your own neck
"Why doesn't he visit me then?"
"Your daddy can't visit you because he's dead sweetie."
"Oh." He said sadly. Just as he said that the tears had fallen from Kate's eyes. "Mommy don't cry, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault honey. Mommy just gets sad when talking about daddy."
"Did you love daddy?"
"I loved daddy very much, I still do." She smiled.
"Why is my daddy dead?"
"Daddy died saving people. He was saving our friends. If he didn't save me I wouldn't have had you."
"Did daddy know about me?"
"No he didn't. I didn't find out about you until later. But if daddy had known he'd be here with us."
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
"I want to hear more about daddy." David smiled.
"You're daddy, Jack, was a stubborn man. He was always trying to fix things even if they weren't broken. But that could be because your dad was a doctor."
"He was?" he asked wide eyed.
"He was, a very good doctor. He helped saved lives."
"Daddy is a hero?"
"Yes daddy is a hero. Then some how your daddy and I, along with some other people got stuck on an island, and that's how we met."
"Did daddy think you were pretty mommy?"
"I'd like to think so." She laughed. "Come with me, I want to show you something."
The two then headed upstairs to Kate's room. She placed David on the bed while she retrieved a couple boxes from her closet.
"Presents?" he asked excitedly.
"Not exactly, but I think you'll enjoy them." She smiled taking off one lid.
Looking into the box David found a plethora of pictures. "Mommy looks it's me!" he said showing her the baby picture.
Kate leaded over and took a look. "That's not you sweetie, that's your daddy." She smiled.
"It is?" he said looking at it again.
After Kate had returned from the island again, she had spent time with Margo. They had gotten to know one another as well as bond over Jack. Margo then had given her a few of Jack's belongings knowing that he would have wanted her to have them.
"Yup. That's daddy when he was a baby." She then showed David all the pictures she had of Jack, some by himself, with his mother, father, coworkers, friends, and of course some with Kate.
"This one is my favorite." She said showing him a photo of her and Jack. It had been a candid shot of them while they had taken their engagement photos. Jack was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, kissing her neck. Kate had a smile on her face and her arms over his.
Kate then spent the next few hours telling David more about his fathers, with pictures, and other little knick knacks she had.
"Can we hang some of these pictures?"
"Of course we can."
"Mommy will I ever get to see daddy?"
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my dear?
Ahhhhh...
That broke her heart. "You can see him in your dreams sweetie. And whatever you do daddy will always be there even if you can't see him."
"I wish daddy was here."
"Me too baby." She said rubbing his back. "If you want to hear more stories I'll be happy to tell you. Or you can ask Grandma Margo, Aunt Claire, or Uncle James."
"I like when you tell them." He smiled looking at another picture. "Am I gonna be like daddy?"
"I'm not sure baby, but you're on the right track. Do you want to be like him?"
"Yeah, daddy is the bestest."
"Your dad would be so proud of you. So no more fights okay?"
"Okay mommy."
"Good. Do you want to help me start dinner?"
"Yeah! Can we bring this one downstairs?" he asked showing her a framed picture of Jack.
"Sure baby, you can put it anywhere you want."
After dinner David had done his homework then it was straight to bed. During dinner David had placed the framed picture of Jack at the head of the table as if he were sitting there. Kate couldn't help but smile.
Though Jack was a tough subject for Kate, talking about him to David made it easier. She ignored talking about him because it had hurt too much. Him not being here hurt too much. When she had found out she was pregnant Kate had cried for days. There was no doubt in her mind that she was keeping the baby, this was the only thing of Jack she would ever have and there was no way she was letting go.
David had become the single most important thing in her life. Right after he was born Kate took one look at him and saw Jack. He was her reason for living. She knew that one day she would see Jack again. Until that day comes, she would go on living with their son and telling him stories about how amazing his dad was.
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my dear?
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