Title: Someday Maybe
Status: 1/1 (complete)
Author: Ningal
Characters: L centric – Mr Yagami is there, too. (Not paired, though)
Rating: pg (no slash for once. Yea, surprise. But a dash or two of one-sided shounen-ai)
Spoilers: Chapters 58+
Setting: right in the middle of ch 58…
Disclaimer: Death Note is too good for me to own.
Summary: What happened in the hospital room before Chief Yagami comes out to tell everybody the news.
(This is just an idea, of course, since the creators never get into it, perhaps for a reason we don't know yet… There does happen to be an almost two hour time span between the time they leave headquarters 8:2X and the time he makes the announcement 10:13, so who knows why it took so long? Yes, if you look closely at the pages, there are digital clocks which tell the time…) Eh… Commence with the ficcage, why don'cha?
He wanted it to be flawless. No one would know he was still alive. Not even anyone at Wammy's House back in Winchester would know the truth. It would be the biggest secret he'd ever managed.
Funny how things turned around. Instead of being the hunter, he was hiding. Just like Kira. Escape with no evidence.
But he couldn't just pretend to be dead. And he needed assistance – there was no way he could pull this scheme off by himself, not now. At this point, it was impossible.
Only Chief Yagami was allowed into the room where he remained. Through the chief, he managed to keep the hospital workers quiet. He was the one who brought him in, after all. Officers of his status managed to keep a lot of people quiet in the name of the law, truthfully or not.
He sat up in the bed, unusually comfortable with his legs down. It was a little relaxing, even when the chief stood at his side, silent, not sure what to do.
To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure himself.
"Yagami-san… Please tell everyone that I am dead."
Chief Yagami closed his eyes, nodding obediently. "…Can you at least tell me why you did that… no, why you are doing this now? We need you to help us with the investigation. It is imperative that we know the truth."
"Please keep your voice down, Yagami-san," L sighed, fidgeting with the blankets of the hospital bed. "There is.. no way I will be of any help to the investigation now."
The Chief looked confused, and rightly so. "But—who else will be able to lead us? Who else has that sort of.. no, your capabilities, your qualifications? None of us! That's why I'm asking you—."
L closed his eyes, but his hands were clenched in the blankets. Did he really want to give up now?
"No, you're wrong, Yagami-san," L said quietly. "…Your son, Light. He is just as good as me – no, he is superior…"
L faltered, and the chief reached forward suddenly, unsure whether or not L needed support. He'd never needed it before, but now he looked pale and unnerved.. It was more than a little unnerving in itself, to find this man of inhumanely perfect stealth in such a frail, human state.
"…You can't be serious," the chief shook his head. "No, I know how much you respect my son, and he certainly is capable, but…"
L barely managed a smile – a small one, but still a smile. "Don't lie to yourself, Yagami-san. Light has the best cognitive abilities I've ever seen… He is definitely more than qualified to take my place."
"You say 'take your place'," the chief pondered out loud, "…But why?"
"Clearly," L said, looking out the small window to the outside world, "I am now incapable of being L. Light can do it, I know he can.."
"But why my son?"
L looked back at the chief calmly. "Do you not believe Light can handle the job?"
The chief shook his head again, grasping at his gray hair with nervous tension. "No. ..No, it's not like that.. But…" he tried a different approach. "…Why don't you think you can't remain in the position? Why did you fake death, in order to deceive my team? No, the word will spread eventually, and the whole world will believe that L is dead! Why?"
He was one step away from grasping L by the shoulders and shaking the answer out of him. But the chief calmed himself – he was a more reasonable man than that, and didn't allow himself to get carried away any further.
L was silent for a minute. He couldn't meet the chief's eyes. Was he blushing? Was he embarrassed for some reason? It was hard to tell, with all that dark hair covering his fallen face.
"Watari… he is dead… he really is dead. We… planned it this way. If he died, I would pretend to die soon after… because if Kira found out his true identity, then the chance of him finding mine is increased to about 90, if he can see a person's name just by seeing a face. …In that case, I would have no need to fake death. But it is for the sake of gathering any final clues, if I survived within that 10 window… it seems to be the case… Because it is hard to come back from the dead, isn't it, Yagami-san?"
"…" Chief Yagami thought about this and nodded. It was a situation he'd never considered; nearly impossible. How could Kira have found out Watari's identity and not L's? A background check is not impossible, but also unlikely due to the nature of how Kira kills.
L pretending to be dead was still hard to swallow.
"I also… began to believe that maybe Kira… No, Yagami-kun… is unstoppable, after all… from my position, at least."
But others could continue where he left off, and manage better because they were not so deeply involved with Light personally – L knew this.
But at that, the chief's face fell. He put a hand on his heart. "W—What? Y— you still think my son is Kira?"
"Yes." L nodded. He remembered the look in Light's eyes when he passed out in the other man's arms. No one with a conscience would have such a devilish gleam in their eyes. What had he done to deserve such hatred? But he could not tell that to the chief, Light's father, at this crucial time. "But… no matter what I've done, he still eludes me every time…"
Chief Yagami bent over the edge of the bed, clenching his fists into the sheets. "Impossible… How can he be Kira? What about the 13 day rule in the note—!"
L shrugged. In fact, he managed to laugh, just a bit. It was cold and bitter, and very unexpected.
"..I wouldn't put it past him to have something to do with that…"
It was just a hunch.
"…What are you talking about?" The chief was more than a little worried. He couldn't tell how stable L really was at this point. The laughter was eerie, but he swore that somewhere in L's voice there was cynicism and a deep unhappiness – something L had never let slip through before.
L shook his head, messy black hair matted against the artificial lights. "Nothing. …Not anymore…"
The chief took a step back. "…Ryuuzaki… Is there anything I can do..?"
The bedladen man began to shake, his facial expression hidden behind his bangs. "…No, don't call me that…"
"..You're still L to us, Ryuuzaki…" the chief responded solemnly. That got a reaction.
L lifted his head. His eyes were narrowed, just a little. Skeptical of intent, as usual, he wondered why the chief would say something like that. He tilted his head curiously.
"I …can no longer be L. I have grown too attached…"
"Too attached?" the chief questioned. "To what?"
"………," L hesitated again. "..To Kira…"
To Light.
Chief Yagami didn't have the heart to wonder what that implied. He waved his hands a little and decided to say just a few more words.
"Then, Ryuuzaki… No, L…No.. What should I call you?"
"……."
"…Do you have a real name?"
L just stared blankly at the chief. That was the only response, it seemed – cold, distant black eyes.
"…I see. Well then…," he sighed, "take care." He turned to leave, but with luck, L called him back. Somehow, he knew it would happen.
"..I trust you, Yagami-san."
Chief Yagami paused. "..I used to trust you. We all did… I wish you wouldn't do something like this…"
"It is for the best, Yagami-san..," the voice that responded was sad. "..I can no longer remain L. Please, let me go. Your son, Light, will be fine in my place… The investigation will proceed differently, but things will be fine."
Of course he knew better than that. Others would pick up the slack of the NPA, others that he knew… He smiled just the same. It might have pleased Light's father to know he held some faith in Light.
It was more tragic that L could not bring Kira to justice.. no, to his side. He would have made a perfect L. He would have made a perfect… everything… if the whole situation wasn't so screwed up.
L couldn't chase Light anymore. There was no more he could do.
But Chief Yagami had no idea what was on L's mind. It seemed tragic, a waste of effort to let L go like this. But still… He hoped that somewhere in L's mind, he was making plans, like he always was.
In fact, this was true. They came to a small and silent understanding.
"…Are you sure you don't need any money, Ryuuzaki?"
"……No." Timid response. The chief could offer no sums large enough to help without having to write a check, and to whom, to what account? Light would find out and track him down with that alone, surely. And the money in Chief Yagami's pocket would have done little more than give him small hope.
"Where will you go?" asked the chief. "..What will you do after this?" He really wanted to know.
Of course, L would never really tell him that. "I do what I have to. That is all. You will never hear from me again. I promise that."
"Don't say that—. No, this is a joke, right? You're testing me, aren't you, or are you testing all of us? I can't just leave a member of the team like this. As a man of honor, I can not let you do this."
L did not return the chief's anger in the least. Instead, he leaned back against the headboard, crossing his legs as though meditating. It was not quite as unusual, however, as the honest smile that graced L's face. He looked genuinely human, actually happy, but Chief Yagami knew that there was more lying beneath the surface. It was so obvious, now.
"Are you worried about me, Yagami-san?" L observed keenly, as usual. "You are such a kind father…," the smile faded a little. "Light is very lucky. He has so much support… Don't let him forget that."
Everything about leaving L alone was wrong, but there was nothing the chief could do. How jaded could a human be before snapping? He wondered how L could bare to handle it.
"…Please go, Yagami-san. They're all waiting for you. Tell them I've passed on."
The chief clenched a fist. "I can't just forget that this happened... You know that, don't you?"
L nodded. "Of course."
"…Aren't you going to do something?" Chief Yagami asked. "What if I went out there and told them you were alive, that you only pretended to test my son… in the name of the case!"
"What would they think of me?" L asked calmly. "I would no longer be trusted. What then?"
"You planned it this way… This is twisted, you know. How do you suppose I go out there with a straight face and tell them you're dead when you're clearly alive?"
"You can do it. I trust you, Yagami-san."
The chief looked away. He didn't notice L wince, knowing he would never see any of them again.
It was unfortunate that he did not die. He would gladly have passed on seeing Light's face as he took his final breath, even twisted in hate. It would have been far better than the back of the chief's head.
"…Fine. You have my word."
"…Thank you."
Chief Yagami walked out of the hospital room, closing the door solemnly behind.
"Ryuuzaki has died."
It was a shame.
L closed his eyes. It was a difficult situation.
'Near will understand. Mello will not. They will be told I am dead as well. I can not remain L any longer. They are not as qualified as Light, however, they are at least on the side of good. Perhaps, still, justice will prevail.
Maybe I can find out on my own, in the shadows. It can be done.
But Light… You are Kira. Surely they will know this. I believe in them. I know them well…
Something good will come of this.
Somehow. I'm sure of it.
But for now, goodbye… Light… my only friend. May we meet again some day, under better circumstances.'
'To me you're like a setting sun
You shine then you're gone
Go down on your light
So bright it burns my eyes
Sounds like a perfect way
To end my life'
The Verve 'Gravity Grave'
Updated: 1.13.05 - Fixed the typeo mentioned by a kind reviewer! Thank you!
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