Sasuke groaned and rolled his eyes as he caught sight of the now familiar rogue ninja Bingo Book in his prisoner's pocket. That book was the bane of his existence. Apparently, he made the wrong call when he threatened the criminal organization who published the damn thing. The lack of information on himself only served to make his life more miserable. He now got the same reaction every time he made himself known to an enemy. They tried to off themselves immediately. While he was usually fast enough to squash that little plan, it was highly annoying. After all, he wasn't typically the type to save lives. "Where do you people get this thing?"
"W..Wha...? Oh! Th.. that... Well... you see..."
"I just remembered. I don't care." With a quick chop to the ninja's neck, Sasuke rendered him unconscious and left him in a heap on the floor. Sighing, he tossed the cyanide pills he confiscated from the whole group to the ground and lit them on fire with Ameratesu. He wondered if he should consider going home and working for Sakura's mental health clinic. He was pretty sure he prevented more suicide then anyone on her staff at this point. Then again, considering what he did to the Bingo Book's authors, it probably wasn't a good idea for him to be around so many kids...
Suddenly, Sasuke heard a racket coming from the entrance of the hideout. He nearly drew a kunai out for defense, but then figured no ninja worth a damn would ever make that much noise. "Hey! Someone beat us here! That's no fair, ya know!" Shit... Sasuke knew that voice like he knew the back of his hand. It was the ONLY ninja worth a damn who absolutely WOULD make that much noise.
"Loser! You always come into enemy territory like that?" A flash of orange suddenly flew into the room. If not for his ocular powers, Sasuke was fairly sure he wouldn't have seen a streak at all. "Hug me and die."
"Jeeze Bastard... What crawled up your ass and died?" Naruto whined, but lowered his arms anyway. Crisis averted. "What the hell are YOU doin' here anyway? Kakashi's been lookin' for ya, ya know?"
Oh yes, Sasuke knew. He had simply been avoiding that report for months. After all, why should he have report to Kakashi what he did to the organization that published that thrice damned book? Wasn't it obvious? "Hn"
"Is that all you've got to say bastard? You know you're on thin ice, ya know? The Alliance..."
"They were criminals. I refuse to incriminate myself for criminals." In the corner of his eye, Sasuke noticed one of his unconscious prisoners start to move. He seemed to be patting down his pockets, likely searching for his cyanide pills. In the blink of an eye, Sasuke was suddenly at the prisoner's side, hand ready to strike. Unfortunately, Naruto's hand was already there to block.
"Hey! You don't gotta get so violent bastard. He's already down, ya know?"
"Gah! T... two of you? You... you're both h... here...?" The prisoner squeaked as he shook in terror. Just when Sasuke thought he couldn't possibly be more disgusted at the distinctly un ninja like behavior, the smell of urine hit his nose.
"You want them conscious? Then you can get him clean Loser."
"Eeeww! Gross! Why me bastard? You're the one who tried to hit him!"
"I'm also the one who did all the work here."
"Work? As if! If these guys were work, you got weak!"
"What did you just say to me Loser?" As he gleefully prepared to take on the first real challenge he had in years, Sasuke was interrupted but yet another, highly annoying ninja ha had no desire to see right now.
"Enough you idiots! Or did you want ME to get involved?"
Pink hair. Check. Rage filled face. Check. Threatening posture. Check. Chakra enhanced fist coming dangerously close to both himself and the idiot. Double check. "Fuck my life." Sasuke groaned. This had to be the worst day he's had since the war. On the bright side, the prisoner finally passed out in fear. "Wait. Are we even allowed to be together right now? Didn't the Alliance say we couldn't work together unless it's some world ending crisis?" He was pretty sure that's what they said. Something about the three of them together being akin to dropping a nuclear bomb on ants.
"Awww shit! Man Sasuke! Why'd you have to be here! The paperwork..." Naruto groaned. Sasuke could see the light go out of Naruto's eyes as the realization dawned on the moron that is was NOT a good thing that they ran into each other on a mission. For all that Naruto whined about down prisoners, Sasuke knew the idiot was glad to see him anyway. Good. Now Sasuke wasn't the only one in misery here.
"Well, if we get our stories straight, and if Sasuke is willing, maybe we can convince the Alliance and this group, that they were working to bring Kaguya back or something?" Sakura suggested as she lowered her fists and studied the pile of unconscious ninja. Sasuke had to hand it to her. It was kind of brilliant. A simple genjutsu on these prisoners and no one would need to explain that a nuke was released due to a scheduling conflict. Or rather, due to his own failure to report in to Kakashi for a month. Not only would it get the three of them out of deep shit, it would save Kakashi from the same flood of paperwork Naruto was whining about. In fact, Kakashi may be grateful enough to forget all about what he may or may not have done to the criminal organization responsible for the Bingo Books from hell.
"Hn... You've grown slightly less annoying Sakura."