Jack sat at his desk, a framed photo of Rhys smiling back at him. He would have to have a word with Gwen about that latter. The Doctor it seemed had returned him, not when he had left the Hub but nine months latter. Nine months was a long time for him to be away, from the team and from Ianto. Gwen was about the only one happy to see him, sort of, even if it did mean she wasn't in charge any more. So she was engaged, that should help, if she doesn't leave Torchwood when she gets married to Rhys.

Torchwood wasn't easy on marriages, as he well knew. Or on any relationship it would seem, bringing him back to Ianto Jones. While it wasn't reasonable that he could have expected to be just welcomed back, the cold front between them wasn't pleasant. Nor was finding emails about a job offer in Glasgow and a girl in London. Ianto had apparently been busy over the last few months. Jack rubbed his forehead and sighed, even Tosh had given him what could only be described as a filthy look once or three times since he'd gotten back.

He'd asked Ianto out, on a proper date so they could talk about it over dinner. Of course he had no idea where to actually take Ianto. They had only ever stayed at the Hub or gone to Ianto's flat. Although he didn't think he was getting a home cooked meal any time soon. He wanted things back how they were. How they used to be. He knew that wasn't always possible. If he'd been a day later in coming back Ianto would have been gone. Packing for Glasgow with no memory of why he wanted to go there. No memory of what he would have been running from, or who. A Welshman didn't just move to Scotland because he liked whiskey. Not someone as Welsh as Ianto Jones.

He couldn't let Ianto go, but could he ask him to stay? In between the disintegrating relationship with Ianto he had to deal with the aftermath of John Hart turning up in his world. Calling Ianto eye candy and chasing the easy score, like he always had. And rehab obviously hadn't worked. He'd also said there were only seven time agents now, had he been gone that long? He was also facing a team who all knew he couldn't die, that hadn't happened for a very long time.

He also hadn't had to back pedal when it came to a lover for a very long time either. Just one more thing to add to his list of things he was going to have to explain to Ianto. This dinner was going to be a right barrel of laughs. He'd been keeping his secrets his own for so long he wasn't sure he could open up now.

He smiled at the heavenly smell teasing him as Ianto brought a tray into his office. 'As I live and breathe I have missed your coffee Ianto Jones.'

'Just my coffee. Sir.' He put the cup on Jack's desk and turned to walk away.

'Ianto, please, don't go.'

'I have things to do. Sir'

'So do I Ianto, and this is one of them. Please, stay.' Ianto had never said no to him before. 'I'm not sure how to fix this Ianto.'

Ianto just looked at Jack a moment as he considered how to respond to that. 'Fix? Jack. Or whoever you really are. Does that mean you realise something might actually be broken?'

'Oh I realise all right, it's a bit hard to miss. The weather outside isn't the only thing that's a bit stormy.'

Ianto rounded on Jack, his voice quiet in the stillness. 'What were you expecting? Really?'

'I don't know, I've never come back for someone before.'

'Gee, thanks Jack.'

'I'm so sorry, I didn't think it would be this long when I got back, we were supposed to be back at the same point we left. It was never meant to be this long.'

'You were always coming back were you?' Ianto watched Jack carefully as he hesitated. Ianto rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. 'Really. That says it all Jack, it doesn't get any clearer than that. And you have the nerve to be surprised at it being a bit stormy around here.' Ianto turned to leave, looking back at Jack. 'This hurts Jack.' He began walking away, his heart was frozen as it broke into a thousand shards of glass that seemed to crunch beneath his feet.

'Ianto! Come back, I.' Jack watched Ianto stop in the door and look at him like he was something the younger man had stepped in.

The voice icy cold. 'Yes Jack?'

'Have dinner with me, tonight. We need to sort this out.'

'Can we sort this out Jack? Because I'm not so sure any more. I watched you die, twice. Then you vanished without a word and wasn't really going to come back. What is there between us that you can save with words Jack? What is there left to save. It's pretty bloody obvious how little regard you actually have for me.' Ianto walked away, he wanted to crawl under his desk and cry.

Jack sat down, it wasn't a no, exactly.

Tosh watched Ianto walk past, she was the last one left in the Hub other than Jack and Ianto. She sighed, having heard much of their exchange she debated having a word with Jack. She knew they had to sort this out for themselves but that didn't stop her being angry with Jack. She had watched Ianto fade into himself, he was like a piece of paper that had been folded in half so many times, there was almost nothing left. She shook her head as that thought bothered her and walked into Jack's office. He was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands and looked up when she softly called his name.

'Was there something you wanted to add to that Toshiko?'

She frowned at him. 'It wouldn't be my place to say.'

'Oh please don't let that stop you.'

Tosh sighed, this wasn't the confident Jack who had first rescued her from her prison cell. 'What happened while you were gone?'

'You know, no one has asked me that question Toshiko.'

'You better answer it because if you were swanning about on a beach drinking cocktails and working on your tan then you deserve everything you get.'

Jack shook his head. 'No cocktails, I saw the end of the world and lived in a paradox for a year. I died every day, not figuratively, I literally died every day. And all I could think of was right here, waiting for me in Cardiff.'

'Do you think you were the only one who died every day you weren't here? He lost himself Jack, a little piece went missing each day and I'm surprised there's anything left.'

'I didn't know.'

She shook her head. 'Didn't you Jack?' Her voice accusing.

Jack sighed. 'Maybe I didn't want to know.'

'Well I hope one day you find out how it was for him while you weren't here. I'm sorry you were killed while you were away but I can't forgive you either.'

'Tosh.'

They both turned to see Ianto standing behind them, his voice soft in the shadows. 'Thank you for trying to rescue me Tosh. I think I can take things from here.'

Tosh blushed lightly before meeting Ianto's eyes.

Jack watched an entire conversation pass in a single look as she nodded and left.

'Were you going to tell me? And how could you be gone a year if it was only nine months?'

Jack heard the smallness of Ianto's voice and he wondered what damage he had done in being so quick to follow the Doctor. 'It's all a bit hard to believe.'

'I work for Torchwood Jack. Try me.'

'The Doctor is the last of a race of Time Lords, or he was, but he is now, it got a bit confusing. The Time Lords were at war with a race of aliens you never want to met, the Darleks, and the Doctor was the last of his kind. He travels around the universe and time and for a while I travelled with him and his Rose. Until we crossed paths with some Darleks and I died. I didn't stay dead but I had no idea what had happened to me.' Jack closed his eyes at the memory of his first death before he looked at Ianto. 'I don't know if I'm explaining all this, I haven't told anyone for a very long time.'

'That's supposed to make it okay?'

'It doesn't excuse me, no.'

'And how much of this were you actually going to explain to me over dinner before you left?'

Jack shrugged, there was no point lying to Ianto now. 'Not much, I didn't know all of it until I found the Doctor again. He always comes to Cardiff eventually, the rift fuels his Tardis. Rose apparently absorbed the heart of the Tardis or something and was able to bring me back from death. Except it was permanent. It was a bit of a shock when I finally figured that out. By which time I'd come to the attention of Torchwood.'

'Alice and Emily.'

'You've been reading the archives.'

'I'm an archivist Jack, it's what I do when I'm not shagging the boss and making everyone coffee.'

Jack accepted he probably deserved that. 'I finally caught up with the Doctor and he was supposed to bring me back to the point where I left here. The Tardis however some times does things for her own reasons.'

'Nine months Jack. You left me with Gwen and Owen for nine months.'

'I'm not ecstatic either Ianto, it was a hell of a year for me too. Things happened, things I never want to remember. And I finally found out why he abandoned me. I ended up back in time and spent close to two hundred years waiting for him to finally come back to Cardiff. When he turned up I had to go, I had to know, I needed him to explain.'

'Oh, so my nine months isn't important compared to two centuries.'

'That's not what I wanted to say, I didn't mean it like that. I just waited such a long time to find out why he abandoned me, why I didn't stay dead.'

'Well gee, I wonder what being abandoned feels like.'

'You have every right to be angry with me.'

'Oh really. Thank you for being so understanding Jack, that makes everything all right again. Coffee?'

'Ianto.'

'Oh shove it Jack, I don't care any more. I quit.' He looked at Jack and nodded. 'I quit. I'm sure you hacked into my emails by now and know about Glasgow. So I'm going to take the job and bugger off to Scotland and catalogue some billionaires private collection of boring crap he brought of the internet. Maybe I'll get lucky and shag him too.'

'I'll follow you Ianto Jones. Where ever you go I will follow you.'

'No Jack. You won't. Because one day I'll die and you can't follow me there.'

Jack let out a sad sigh. This wasn't going how he had hoped it might. 'You're right, that's the one place I can't follow you.'

'So you don't try? Loving someone doesn't diminish you Jack, it makes you something better.'

'Even when I always loose them Ianto?'

'Especially then Jack, otherwise what's the point.'

'Don't go to Glasgow Ianto.'

Ianto stood there, hands in his pockets. 'What am I supposed to do Jack? Tell me, you waited for your Doctor and his time machine so you could run away. So why should I stay? What were you running from Jack?' Ianto waited for Jack to speak. That seemed to sum him up right now, waiting for Jack.

Jack dragged a hand though his hair. 'How did we go from agreeing to have dinner to this?'

'I don't know, ask your horrible little time agency buddy. Who was he, your other work wife?'

'Are you jealous?'

Ianto knew that was part of it. 'Who did you come back for Jack, me, the team or Gwen?'

'Ianto, there was only ever one person I saw every time I came back from dying and it wasn't Gwen.'

'What are you saying Jack.'

Jack walked around and sat on the edge of his desk, he needed to be closer to Ianto, it was bad enough having the emotional barrier between them, the physical one he could at least remove. 'I came back for you Jones, Ianto Jones.'

'Doesn't bloody feel like it.' Ianto muttered softly in the growing darkness. He looked at Jack, what if they couldn't fix this. What if he couldn't forgive Jack for leaving and what if every word in his diary, written in anguish and pain over the last nine months, was it.

'What do you need from me Ianto Jones?' Jack watched Ianto thinking, standing there with one had in his pocket. The other on the back of his neck, rubbing the back of his head messing the normally perfect hair. Jack wanted to offer to massage Ianto's shoulders and neck, he knew the younger man held his tension there. He'd never had to ask permission to touch Ianto before, it felt wrong footed.

Ianto shook his head. 'I don't know what I want, if I was a girl you could buy me something sparkly with diamonds in it, and that would help.' He dropped his hand to his hip and shook his head. 'I don't know how I feel about you Jack. One minute I want to shoot you myself.' He didn't question his candour with Jack, he just needed to speak. 'The next I'm so glad your back it doesn't matter. But it does matter and I can't live within a sea-saw. I just can't Jack, it's too hard.'

'Is that it, do we walk away?'

'Tell me that isn't what you normally do when the heart starts to get involved Jack. Lie to me if you have to, tell me you,' Ianto stopped as he shook his head. 'You know what, don't lie to me. You never said what this was, there was never a boundary or a definition and I never asked.'

'Somewhere along the way things changed.'

'Didn't stop you running away, didn't stop you wondering if you would have changed history to save a borrowed American pilot.'

'I.' Jack looked at his hands, he what? He'd run away from less before and he had definitely run away from how he felt about Ianto. It had, in hindsight, formed a great many of his waking thoughts, chained between the bars of his prison. Every beat of his heart asking him if he deserved to find his beautiful blue eyed, passionate Welshman still waiting for him when he did return. The pain carved into those same blue eyes was tearing him apart. He'd done this. He had broken Ianto and now he expected dinner and a movie to super-glue him back together. Who was he kidding. The irony of never having to work so hard for a lover not totally lost on him. How many hearts had he broken because he had kept his frozen.

This man standing shattered in front of him now, this was the only one he needed to fix. Even knowing that gluing a cup back together didn't make it water tight, he had to try. 'Tell me what you need and I'll do it.'

Ianto shook his head, he wasn't sure he trusted what he was hearing. 'If I tell you it won't, it doesn't.' He sighed. 'I get so, when I'm around you sometimes I can't say what I need to.'

'Not so much this time apparently.'

Ianto shook his head. 'That is so. "Typical Jack." Well newsflash. You have to work this one out for yourself. It won't mean anything if I tell you.' He paused, his laugh derisive. 'God I am such a girl right now.' He turned and walked away leaving Jack staring at the space he'd been standing in.

Jack poured himself a brandy. Gwen having restocked in his absence. Although it was more likely it had been Ianto. He didn't usually drink but after that somewhat emotionally charged exchange he felt it might be called for. Jack sipped the brandy and realised he was being unfair to Ianto to call that only somewhat emotional. He knew better than most just how passionate his slightly OCD Welshman was capable of being. And it had to express itself somewhere, like a volcano. Lava if bottled up too tightly, exploded taking out everything around it at the time. Here they had been alone and it was certainly the most they had ever said regarding anything remotely emotional. He almost wished they had said a little less. And he still had no idea how to unravel it all so they could start over.

But that was what he needed to do, start over. Treat Ianto as less of a dirty little guilty pleasure and more as the lover he valued and cherished. If only the Tardis had brought him back sooner. Of course the unasked question being, what would have changed if he had come back just after he'd left. Would things be any different for them or would Ianto still be his guilty pleasure. He wasn't sure the answer to that cast him in a very flattering light, none of this did, if he was honest with himself. He sighed, he had to win Ianto back. But it didn't answer the question of what this Becky person had meant by had Ianto gotten over 'his Jack'.