Well, this is my first fanfic., so please R&R to tell me if I should continue.
Some stories are so grand, so epic, so incredible, that they are immortalized. These stories are read by billions, and still enjoyed today, whether ten years or ten-thousand years old. The book Duck Dodgers happened to be holding was such a classic.
Unfortunately, Dodgers couldn't care less. His mind was more focused on his recent visit to the vacation planet Rice 6. Oh how he loved those...
"Captian!" yelled his over-enthusastic cadet.
"What is it Cadet? I was just getting to the good part!" he responded.
"But you're still on page 1," the pig noticed.
"Not that!" fired back the uniform-wearing waterfoul, "What did you want anyway?"
"We're receiving a message from the co-cee-ca-cu-ca-coma... from IQ-High."
"Well put 'im on!" said Dodgers.
The viewscreen blazed to life bearing a greyscale rendition of Duck Dodger's commander, IQ-High. It is considered by many quite strange that these screens do not use color, which was perfected in the twenty-second-and-a-few-pinches-of-salt century. This triviality, however has no bearing on the story unfolding.
"Where have you been Dodgers! I've been on hold for the last 51 astro-minutes!" griped the overworked, stressed-out, needs-a-break-from-Dodgers man with a light bulb on his head. "Do you have any idea how annoying that 'Row-row-row-your-boat" song you have the computer play is?" He promptly began to hum said song.
"You're not exactly a sight for sore eyes yourself, Doc," chuckled Dodgers.
"Whatever! Just get back to Earth already! We need you!"
Dodgers was stumped. "Wait-a-minute here. How can I be anywhere outside of Earth? Space-travel is just science fiction!"
"But ca-cu-ce-captian, this is the twenty-fourth-and-a-half century." pointed out the cadet.
"Oh yeah... I forgot..." replied Dodgers. "Cadet, plot a course for... Uhh... Where-ever we're going! Maximum warp! Now... Umm... It's that other button; it has some pretty letters on it; when I push it the ship gets all stretchy and we go really fast."
"You mean 'Engage?'
"Naw, that's some other guy's line... I've got it! Readysetgo!"
"I ge-gu-ga-gu-ge-ga; I think that's the best I'm getting..." The cadet pushed the button, and the ship's FasterThanSomethingOrOther drive engaged, sending the duo to their home planet.
"Welcome back to Earth, Dodgers. Please, have a seat," suggested IQ-High to the newly arrived Protectorate captian.
"So whaddya' need me to do, IQ? Save the queen of Mars? Save a planet from its terrible invaders? Rescue that kitten on fourth street that keeps climbing the tree?"
"Actually Dodgers, what I have today makes the greatest triumphs in history look like mere smudges of white on a grand tapestry of doom," intoned High. "You see, we are running out of time."
"Cadet'll be here soon enough; he said something about fixing the thing I broke... What was it; oh yeah! The outernet!"
"You broke the outernet? But how-did-you... We don't have time for this and right now I don't care. Recent advances in egg-membrane theory show us that not only does matter have a probibility wave, but time itself does too. This probability wave is slowly beginning to...
"Gimmie the short and sweet!" cried Dodgers.
IQ-High sighed, "In one week, two days, and 14 hours, time is going to stop.