Sun fall slowly all the lonely
Goodbye bedrooms you're my only
Last night home is first night nervous take me over
Remember all this until then.
Sitting here watching the sunset, from my bedroom window, with the one girl who possesses my heart should be amazing. Holding her hand so lightly while she draws circles on my palm with her thumbs should cause my heart to skip. Watching her, as she watches the sunset, should be breathtaking. But nothing ever is what it seems with me.
My music career is taking off, and I've seem to have sold soul to the devil. The record company pretty much owns everything I am now. Next time, I'll be sure to read the fine print of the contract, if there even is a next time. I should be happy though, I have everything I've ever wanted. Remy, and my music, what more do I need?
But I'm leaving tomorrow. Nights like these make me nervous. The nights when everything changes are the nights I dread.
Remy is so gorgeous in the dim light from the fading sun. Her beauty doesn't compare to the beauty of the sunset in front of us. Her brown hair the cascades down her shoulders, just reaching her breasts. Her sparkling green eyes that seem to hold the secrets of the world. A sunset could never match the beauty this girl possesses.
"So beautiful."
I whisper ever so softly, wondering if it was even audible.
"Yeah, it really is."
Though she thinks I was referring to the fading ember she's so entranced in watching, it was really her I was speaking of.
"I want to give you something, I know you told me not to, but I have to."
I remove the necklace from around my neck. The necklace of the engraved guitar pick my father gave to me on my 13th birthday. The necklace I have never been seen without since that day. The last thing of true meaning I have left from my Dad.
"Dexter, I can't take that from you."
Please save this for me
I'll come back for you
For you like I promise to
Please take this for me
For until I return
My love will burn
And my heart will stay
"You have to take it. It's a promise. It's a promise that I'll come back, and everything between us will be fine."
I reach around her to put the necklace on her. She looks up at me with her sea green colored eyes as they begin to flood. She looks at the back of the pick, and reads:
"Forever."
The simple engraved word that means everything to me. My Dad used to always say no matter where he was, he was with me in that pick, forever.
"Where ever I am, I'll be with you. Right there, above your heart in that pick, I'm forever there. I'm always going to love you, this tour won't change that."
We sit there in silence as the last of the sun disappears into the horizon. It's a bittersweet moment as we communicate without words. No words are needed; everything is expressed in the simple calming gestures of her once again drawing circles on my palm.
Its gone cold now
we'll sleep somehow
Gone by first light
Last chance hold tight
until then
With the sun gone, I feel Remy begin to get cold. I grab both of her hands and lead her to my bed. We lay down, and I hold her as close as possible. I want this moment etched into my memory. We're so close I can feel her breath on my cheek, and her heart beat rapidly against me. I close the centimeter of space we have between our lips, and kiss her lightly.
She pulls away and as if a dam was to break, the tears poured out. I reach up and brush off each tear. I again kiss her, this time with all the love I have to give.
"Promise me you'll wake me up before you leave. Promise you'll hold me all night."
We both know that I won't wake her up, but I nod anyway.
"I'll hold you tight until I absolutely have to let go. I love you."
With wet eyes, which have gone from a light delicate green, to deeper more intense shade, she looks up and whispers the words that will always stop my heart.
"I love you too, forever."
I kiss her on the forehead, and she quickly falls asleep in my arms.
Please save this for me
I'll come back for you
For you like I promise to
Please take this for me
For until I return
My love will burn
And my heart will stay
As she drifts into a land of dreams I toy with the necklace around her neck. I lean in and whisper in her ear.
"Just save this for me, and I promise I'll come back for you."
I flip the pick over to read the engraved word once again. I trace over the letters, and lay the pick back against her chest, right above her heart.
I lie awake
And memorize your face
As you sleep next to me
The falling moon
Is calling me
As I leave
I can't sleep knowing that in a few short hours I'll be leaving for six months on a cross country tour. I can't sleep knowing that my whole life with be here in this girl, while I'm absent. As the clock keeps ticking I lay here and memorize everything about her face.
The way her eyebrows arch ever so perfectly and how her complexion is flawless to every length of her face. I remember the way she furrows her eyebrows when she's angry, and how her cheeks redden as she blushes. I memorize the shape of her lips, and how soft they feel against my own. I remember the smile that graces those lips, and the smile that's only meant for me.
Before I have the chance to even begin to address each and every one of her features, it's time for me to leave. The moon is just beginning to fall, and the sun is just beginning to rise. I lean in and kiss her forehead one last time.
I untangle myself from the sleeping beauty that I'm leaving on my bed, careful not to wake her.
Please save this for me
I'll come back for you
For you like I promise to
Please take this for me
For until I return
My love will burn
And my heart will stay
I fail, and I see her eyes slowly and heavily begin to open. I see her mouth open and I quickly shush her with a kiss.
"Shh, just go back to sleep. I promise I'll come back for you."
I grab the necklace from her chest and kiss it. I go back to her lips for one last longing kiss, and watch her slowly drift back into a deep slumber.
I grab a leather jacket from my closet, and brush my dark growing bangs from my brows. Before I leave I grab a notebook from under my bed. I open to the first clean page and scribble down a few words. Satisfied with what has been written, I quietly rip the page out, and set it on the spot which I used to occupy next to Remy. With one last look, I leave.
My heart will stay.
