A/N: A Oneshot, right after Doomsday. I was pretty depressed while writing this a few days ago, which you might notice in my writing style. I just felt like I need to write the Doctors feelings of this moment down, and...yeah. I hope you enjoy it
With his cheek on the cold wall he could almost feel her presence. Almost. But not really. It wasn't enough. But he would never see her again, so he had to take what he could get. When the feeling of her being right behind this wall faded he walked away from it. Every step he took felt like his hearts would be ripped apart. Which use had two hearts? They just made everything more painful. He wanted to die. He had already died for her once, why not making it a second time? But then again he was the last Timelord. He had to carry on, for the sake of the universe. Even if it would kill him. Even if it would break his hearts.
Yet he couldn't give up. He knew he and her could never been together anymore, but he had to speak to her at least one more time. The Doctor swallowed his tears and did what he had to do in order to see her for one last time.
When everything was ready he reached for the button – and hesitated. What was he gonna say to her? What could he possibly say? – Actually there was something. Three words. Not much considering how much he talked usually. But these specific three words...well, it didn't matter. It wasn't like he had much of a choice. He had to say it, it was his last chance. He would say it. The Doctor closed his eyes and pressed the button.
The sun started burning.
They talked. Chatted, like they always did. But it felt awkward. It wasn't right. None of them knew what to say.
One minute left. He prepared himself to say what he had to say.
Rose was quicker.
"I – I love you." His hearts jumped. Now it should have been easier, but in fact it was harder. He couldn't even be happy about her words, knowing that they didn't matter now. Not for both of them. Together. Because there was no 'together' anymore.
But he had to respond. The first time in his long, long life the time became his enemy and ran out. How ironic, he might have thought as he was back in his ship again and Rose was gone, if he hadn't been too busy trying not to cry.
It was over now. What happened to forever? He wondered before turning around.