One Wish
by crazykitsune17
Disclaimer: I have put my hand on a Bible and sworn under oath that I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.
-X-
I regret many things in my life. I regret the crimes and sins I have committed. I regret keeping secrets from my human mother. I regret hurting anyone, whether they were my friends or not. I don't like to fight and argue; I prefer peaceful negotiation, but it seems as if I am almost always alone in that matter. Many of my attempts at peace turn into bloody melees.
I often fear that I may come off as conceited or snobbish, and this would be one of those times. I believe that I am a tolerant man. I do not judge, I do not hate, not even those who hurt me, and I am not prejudiced against anyone of mankind nor spirit or demonkind. I believe I'm respectable in that aspect, and I believe that it is a pity if you find such a trait disgraceful.
While I also believe that remembering is important, a part of me strongly believes that forgetting is a blissful experience. If I could so choose, I would like to forget not my memories of the past, but my regrets that come with them. Memories are what help you learn and grow as a person; regrets are what impede your growth. Without regret, success and happiness can be achieved much more easily.
I won't lie that many things come easily to me – my affinity and talent with botany and my schoolwork for example – and that my creator needed to bestow upon me roadblocks. However, regret is a heavy, painful roadblock, burdening me every single day and occasionally haunting my dreams at night. Keeping the regret from consuming me taxes my energy greatly. With a memory of so hundreds of years' worth of regrets, it is quite often difficult to remain as optimistic as I am.
I do not wish for anyone's pity on my centuries of sins and current regret. No, my one wish – or perhaps two wishes, as the selfish man that I am suggests – is for me to be able to forget and for others to have tolerance.
Tolerance is necessary not only in the human world, but in the other two worlds as well. If creatures were more tolerant of others, there would certainly much less tension between people of different races, ethnicities, colors, powers, etc. The relationship between the Makai and the living world would not be as unstable as it is – and unfortunately always will be – now. The relationship between men would be one of peace.
I am so sick of war. I'm tired of fighting. I live to protect my land, the entire world and all of its beauty, yet it's difficult and depressing work. With each triumph over evil, there is always loss. Whether it is the simple loss of blood or the weightier loss of a friend, there is always loss. That is why I wish for tolerance. With tolerance there is no loss in battles and wounded pride. With tolerance there is no regret for failure of a victory. With tolerance my life would be perfect.
On second thought, is there not a reason why humans are not granted wishes? We tend to think impulsively and wish for selfish reasons, yet even when we try to think of others in our well-wishing, we only end up losing sight of what life is all about.
Life is about struggle. It is about remembering and forgetting, despising and tolerating, loving and hating. Life is not about achieving perfection. Life is about learning to live with one's own imperfections – as well as the world's – and not dwelling upon affairs that are out of one's power to change, though who am I to say what life is all about? Not even the great rulers of heaven and hell know what life is all about. How pretentious I am for attempting to make such a persuasive suggestion.
How pretentious are you to ask me of what I would wish when it is clearly certain that I cannot wish anything at all?
-X-
-crazykitsune17-