Published June 17, 2014
Edward: Cogito Ergo Sum
I was focusing on listening to the baby's thoughts, but I could still hear, as background noise, those of others in the room.
I could hear that Jacob's incredulity was almost as strong as mine, but for a different reason. I was incredulous that I could hear the baby; Jacob couldn't believe I wanted to hear the baby. I was amazed that the baby loved Bella; Jacob was furious that I loved the baby.
He recognized it before I did, but I knew at once that it was true. In a single minute, my entire perspective changed. I could understand why Bella wanted to keep the baby alive.
What changed was that the baby became capable of thinking. That made it real, and alive, in a completely new way. And more than that, I learned that it was capable of love. It recognized that it was not the only being in existence, that someone else existed, connected to and yet distinct from it. And rather than the greed and carelessness that Jacob and I had imagined, it appreciated and loved Bella. Why? For who she was, for what she was doing, carrying the baby in her mortal body, giving it a safe place to grow.
It was like the situation with Jacob: I couldn't hate something—no, now I thought of the baby as someone—who loved the same thing I loved.
And I found that I couldn't hate someone who loved me. Somehow the baby seemed to know that I was someone special, a part of itself. It liked the sound of my voice, and wanted to know me.
How could I deny it that opportunity?