I think I got bored and just started thinking when all of a sudden, I'm like, 'Why don't they ever a mustache?'

What do I think of that could have possibly led me to that train of thought?

...You don't need to know.

Sasuke's Mustache

"..."

Sasuke looks over at Naruto.

"What?"

"... Oh. My. God."

"What, dobe?"

As if in a trance, Naruto stands up and walks over to Sasuke. He doesn't stop until his nose is inches away from the other's, each breathing the other's air.

Sasuke glares. "What's you-"

Suddenly, Naruto tackles Sasuke. Thrown to the ground, Sasuke doesn't react until his back is already flat on the grass and his hands pinned down.

"What the hell, Naruto?"

"..."

Naruto just continues to stare with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.

Frustrated, Sasuke tries to push Naruto off, but Naruto just sits there, like a rock. Shaking his head, Sasuke looks around for something to get the blond off his chest.

"... It moved."

Surprised, Sasuke stopped moving and looks up.

"What?"

"It moved."

Growling, Sasuke asked, "What moved, dobe?"

"That thing..."

"What thing?" he demanded.

"That thing... your... mustache."

"... That's what this is all about? My mustache?"

Wide eyed, Naruto yelled, "Oh course it is, you idiot! It's not just a mustache. You have a fucking bush attached to your face, and all you can say is 'that's it'?"

"... Ugh... yah. What's the big deal? It's just a mustache."

"But why did you grow a mustache? You're Sasuke-fucking-Uchiha! You're not suppose to grow a mustache. You never do! Just ask all the fanfiction freaks. Mustache + Sasuke = WTH?"

"I don't see what the big problem is. So what if I grew a mustache. What's wrong with a little variety? It's not like it looks bad."

"But it's a mustache!"

"So we've established."

"But it's a fucking mustache!"

"No shit Sherlock!"

Glaring, Naruto just continued to sit there, on Sasuke's chest, watching his new mustache twitch in time with the twitch that Sasuke's eye was currently do.

One twitch, two twitch, three twit-

"God-damn it, Naruto! GET OFF ME!"

"Not until you shave it!"

"Why the hell should I?"

"Because if you don't, I'll never talk to you again!"

Raising an eyebrow, Sasuke just stares at him.

Naruto tries again.

"If you don't, I'll commit suicide!"

More staring.

'You heartless bastard.'

"Fine. If you don't shave that damned thing off your face right now, I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

... What a face.

Catching their attention, by-standers turned to look at the 'apparently a couple'.

"D- DOBE! WE AREN'T EVEN FUCKING DATING! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BREAK UP WITH ME?"

"Easy," Naruto said with a smirk, before roughly pressing his lips to Sasuke's.

Sasuke's eyes widened in shock, frozen from the surprise kiss.

Still smirking, Naruto starts nipping at Sasuke's bottom lip, trying to get a reaction.

Even with Naruto's devious mouth playing with his lip, Sasuke still remains frozen.

Huffing with the lack of response, he decides to take desperate measures.

Slowly, Naruto slides his tongue into Sasuke's mouth, lightly tapping his organ against Sasuke's before entangling the two together. Quickly, he begins to play with the other's tongue, twisting and sucking on it.

Moaning, Sasuke comes back to life, taken in by the pleasure that was emanating from his mouth.

Trying to get more pleasure, Sasuke returns the favor, lightly nipping at Naruto's tongue.

Hearing a low moan, Sasuke begins to attack Naruto's mouth, begging for more enticing sounds.

Suddenly, he's no longer kissing his blond. Realizing the taste on his lips was now air, Sasuke slowly sits up, looking for his blond vixen.

Spotting him beneath a tree, Sasuke glares, his eyes demanding his presence once again.

Before he could make a sound, Naruto interrupted.

"Shave that damned thing off, Uchiha, or we're through! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be masturbating to your pillows on your bed, naked and with a bottle of lube."

And with that, Naruto left, swaying his hips as he walked.

Sasuke stared, trying to comprehend what just happened. At the moment, he was having a problem with trying to figure out why Naruto kissed him, and trying to pushed back the fantasies that had just appeared in his mind, all of them involving a sexy blond touching himself on his bed.

With a jolt, Sasuke stands up and starts running.

'God-damn it! Where did I put my razor?'

Now we know why Sasuke never has a mustache.