I have no idea what this is. I was bored, and this killed ten minutes.
I dont own twilight, although im not sure this is twilight...
"Emmet, we have some bad news for you. after doing some DNA tests, we have discovered that you are not a vampire. i'm sorry." Carlisle broke emmetts heart with that announcement.
"Then what am i?" Emmett wondered. "What is my true identity? Batman!" emmett got up off the examination table and began jumping off the furniture. Esme was unimpressed.
three days later, Rosalie returned from court. She had gone to defend Emmett, because he had recently purchased Switzerland.
"Èmmett if you ever but a country again i will hang you from your earlobes off the top of the CN tower in toronto" she screamed as she entered the house.
"At least you are a vampire!" he whined back at her, tears pricking his ees, but not overflowing because that was impossible for vampires. that was impossible for vampires, not emmett. he starting bawling like a fountain, the tears leaking like in a cartoon.
"Bwahhhhh rosie poo save me!" with that he took off and climbed onto the roof. Except he wasnt spider man.
"Whats his poblem? i mean besides Switzerland. Oh lord, tell me he didnt purchase Swaziland just because they sound similar. I dont have a good history with them, especially after the thing in the sixties..." rose asked Edward and Alice who were entertaining Jasper's pet rock.
"He hasnt purchased a country yet, however French Guiana is pending as of three thirty this afternoon." Edward informed her.
"What the hell? where even is that?"
"South america."
"God dammit."
"Exactly my thoughts."
"Emmett!"
"Rosieeeee! i fell off the roof. it hurt!"
"Your a vampire! get up!" She yelled, scared shitless
"Thats waht i tried to tell you before! i'm not a vampire anymore! they dont kow what i am!"
"What does that even mean!"
"Rosalie, i have bad news for you." Carlisle said from the top of the piano where he was medditating.
"Emmett is no longer a Vampire. I found some dead hamsters in his room, drained of blood. Rosalie, Emmett has turned into a were-hamster."
i wok with a start to the sound of someone or other howling. good god i needed to invest in earplugs. Maybe get them inscribed with Billy Black, my name.
and i also needed to stop eating the hamster food. stupid jacob, buying me a hamster. I checked on Jimmy Mcmuffins, and snatched a handful of mix from the food bag before rolling over and gnawing on my wooden chew toy. i fell back asleep thinking about murder.