Kirsten grasped her silky, wavy golden-brown hair in her hands, twisting the handfuls of hair until it began to sting and then let go to start again in another place as she watched her washer machine tumbled the dirty, soiled clothes around and around. The fifteen-year-old girl stood in the basement of her crummy apartment, the gray walls feeling like that would begin to close around her any second and the machine was making way to much noise. Glancing at her watch, one of the only expensive things her mother knew she wore and allowed, she saw it was ten minutes to seven. Her mom will be expecting her in the kitchen, maybe working on a crossword puzzle, by now.
"Come on, come on," she urged, making a spinning motion with her hands. She couldn't let her mother know she was down here washing the pajamas she had worn last night, but woke up in all soggy, smelling rank with dried urine. She was fifteen, will be sixteen in five weeks, she should be past this...
An annoyed sigh made her forget all about her clothes and whip around to see her mother standing by the end of the stairs, her slightly lighter blonde hair was put up in a professional-like bun at the top of her head, two piece by her ears that hung down purposely in loose curls the only thing not up. Her dark blue eyes were narrowed as she glared at the washer machine, already knowing what was in them and why and she placed a hand on her hip, crinkling the black, three-piece suit she was wearing.
"Again, Kristen?" Her mother finally said, "this is the fourth time in a week that you have wet yourself at night." Her voice was more tired than it was angry, as if she expected this and was just running lines of the same old script - which, in a way, she was.
She couldn't help it, she began to shake her head back and forth, her vision blurring by the oncoming flood of tears that she struggled to keep at bay. It didn't help that the washer machine just let out a loud groaning beep in order to let them know the clothes were finished being washed. "I-I'm sorry," she finally stuttered out after taking a big gulp of air, "I-I j-just..." Her breath shuddered and she had to stop to shut her eyes and swallow again, finally managing to keep her tears at bay. She learned before that tears seemed to only make her more determined to get her out of her baby stage. "I don't want to do it, mom, I just...I just want to be able to be me," she whispered.
The click-clack of her mother's heels rang out through the room, bouncing off the walls and seemed impossibly loud to her sensitive ears after just struggling not to cry. "Shh, shh," her mother cooed softly as she neared her before gently tugging her into a hug. Kirsten let her, and wrapped her arms around the older woman. She missed the days where she could cuddle with her mother while sucking on a bottle and feel completely at ease, no worries of weird looks or people - especially her best friends - talking behind her back. "I know you do, Kris, but you can't anymore. I have a promotion, now, I can't keep having to pick you up from school because you had an accident. People talk..." Her mother stopped as the sound of a honking car and the laughter of several teenage girls filtered in through the small window of the basement.
Untangling from her mother, she tried her best to give her a real smile, but it felt more like a grimace. "I'll... I'll set my alarm on my phone," she promised, "so you won't have to pick me up anymore... But, um..." Kirsten felt her face slowly begin to burn scarlet, she never had to ask before. "Can I..."
A low sigh, but her mom smiled. "Your bottle is on the table, you can keep it, but you can only drink it at lunch time. Do you understand? I want no more written notes from teachers about them arguing with you over this."
Another honk. "Okay, mom! Thank you!" Swiftly moving around her mom with the speed of the football captain she was, she zoomed upstairs to grab her things. She would have to change into a pair of Dylan's pants, she was the only one whose pants her big enough to go over her diaper. She knows she promised she would set her alarm, but she never promised she would listen to it. Looking around she saw her book-bag was sitting by the leg of the table where her bottle was sitting. Thanks, mom. She giggled childishly and ran to grab both before going to her door.
"Bye, mom!" She yelled downstairs and paused one hand on the doorway to listen for a reply.
"I'll see you later when I come home from work. Bye, Kris, remember what I said about the bottle."
She nodded in reply, not caring if her mom could not see her and rushed out the door just as the last honk was being blown to meet up her friends.
"Put that thing away," snapped Massie, who was currently brushing back a few flyaway strands of hair that were being tugged around by the soft, spring breeze. Her amber eyes were bright with annoyance and she gave her best you-better-do-as-I-say look at Kirsten who was holding her bottle in her hand suspended in the air about an inch away from her open, eager lips.
She had kept her promise, she didn't take it out all during the morning, even when LBR Layne Abeley called her "Baby Kirsten" in AP Honors Geometry, causing everyone to laugh. She had just been thankful that no one else from her group, the Pretty Committee, had that class with her, especially Massie. She knew most of them were tired of her bottles, her diapers, and the way she cried so easily and still sometimes unconsciously sucked her thumb. She couldn't help it, she just wanted to forever stay the way she was, to be cuddled and loved just like they all had just last year, before they turned fifteen and society said you had to grow up. She missed the sleepovers at Massie's house where they would all have their blankies in whatever their favourite colour was - light green was hers - and each have their stuffed animal friend that is given at age one - a brown monkey with green eyes and long arms was hers - cuddled close to them, all drinking from sippy cups or bottles. There was no sideways looks, no rolling of eyes when she used Mr. Monkey as a pillow or snide comments when she would hide her head under her blanket and drink from her bottle. Why did that have to change? she thought. Now, she and - to everyone's complete surprise - Alicia were the only one who used their blankies - Alicia's was a pretty, dark shade of blue - and their stuffed animals - Alicia's was a pink and white panda - but at least the beta didn't still use her bottle and was now using grown-up bottles.
"Leave her alone, Massie," Alicia said, with just as much snappiness as the alpha had, "she can drink it if she wants to."
Even though the words were harshly whispered to her, it seemed as if most of the students in the surrounding lunch tables had heard her since slowly the talking had died down and they had all the attention now. It was getting more and more reoccurring that the alpha and beta would exchange heated words, ever since they accidentally showed up to Jamie Matthew's sweet sixteen in the same outfit and Alicia had without a doubt worn it better. There were whispers that maybe, just maybe, Alicia was getting the crazy idea to take over as head alpha of the school. Kirsten would never admit it, but she hoped she did because maybe then she could be the one to start to trend in school that would make it so she wasn't such a loser for using her bottle in school.
"I'm sorry, I just don't want her to be such a baby. She's almost sixteen and still uses a bottle," Massie retorted, pulling up to her full height and saying her words loud enough so that most everyone could hear her. Everyone knew that calling someone a baby was an insult, the proper and polite term was infant. The only one who was allowed to call you a baby and it be okay were your parents or caregivers or you Big Sister or Big Brother. In was a common practice that when a person turns thirteen they choose to find a Big Sibling, it was usually just an older friend, sometimes even someone who was old enough to be out of their baby stage, who would be there to cuddle, play or show affection to their Little Sibling and then when the time comes help them through the process of leave their baby stage and grow up into an adult.
Everyone knew that Alicia considered herself Kirsten's Big Sister, and she ever felt inclined to tell her anything different. She was the only one that was ever allowed to go to her house or spent a night over. On those nights she would share a bed with her and cuddle her, love her and on occasion help her to steal the cookies her mom always hid each time she knew Alicia was coming over. Everyone also knew that Alicia still brought her blankie to school and she gripped in it in a tight fist whenever she got stuck on something during a hard test. Putting her head down to avoided the stares, Kirsten saw that it was sticking a bit out of her bag.
"Well, I'm sorry for are such a bi-" Alicia said, standing up from her seat, and even though she still used enough forced that if the chair wasn't stuck to the ground it would have went backwards, she still managed to look graceful.
"Guys, stop it!" Came the new voice of Dylan, the last member of their group, who had been away to go to the bathroom. She was the oldest of the group, born three months before Massie and had already started the cleansing of the toxins so that so could get her period. She always said she preferred to do in it private, which wasn't uncommon among the students who were doing it for the first couple of months and this was only her second. "What is it this time?"
"She's still using her bottle, like a b-"
"Don't call her that!" Alicia interrupted, glaring at the other girl and looking like she was seconds away from going over there to rip her head off.
Kirsten suddenly jumped in her seat from where she had been sitting, hands covering her ears loosely and slowly letting the tears fall from her eyes to her face and trickle down to her chin where they hung until falling off unceremoniously and splatting on the floor. It was the alarm to her phone to go the bathroom, which she ignored since she had on her diaper, and it was loudly echoed by the school bell going off that signaled their lunch period was over.
She watched, almost shyly, as the alpha and beta glared at each other, a smirk plastered on the face of Massie and a look of pure anger all over Alicia's. Finally, one spoke, "I guess that's why Josh broke up with you, isn't it? He didn't want to date someone who might as well be a baby herself."
Oh, that was a low blow. "Stop," Kirsten said, finally gaining her voice, knowing that if she didn't someone was going to get hurt. Badly, and it would be Massie. But even if Massie's started it, her family is too...helpful...to the school for them to punish, and Alicia's mother just won't care enough. Standing up her bottle still being loosely held in one hand, she turned to Alicia with all of the power she did when she was talking to her football team. The Spanish-American girl had already been in mid-step, walking angrily to Massie, but stopped for a moment when she heard her friend finally speak up. "Let it go, Alicia, please." When her friend opened her mouth to protest, she rushed out, "Alicia, do this for me, your Little Sister."
It was dirty to play with the emotions of her friend, especially these, and it was insult to injury that this was the first time she ever confirmed her as a Sibling. It was a Big Sister's job, after all, to shower the younger with all the love and affection she wanted or needed. Hesitating for just a moment, she glared at her before saying something in Spanish, probably some cuss words towards the both of them. "Fine," she said simply in English to her before grabbing her bag and placing it over her shoulder and turned on her ballerina heels to stomp away.
Kirsten watched as the students split carefully for her, despite her losing this fight, she was still one of the most popular girls in their school and everyone knew to move out of the way when she was coming. A low gasp came from the girl and tears filled her eyes, and she couldn't see clearly as she blindly ran after her, shoving through the students that had stayed to watch the fight play out and were now gossiping wildly, the same ones who had just split like the Red Sea for Alicia a moment ago. But not for her, she was basically just as much as a loser as them. Eventually, they began to spread for her realizing they would just get roughly pushed out the ay if they didn' was the captain of the school's football team, she knew how to make people move out of her way. It was all going well until no matter how much she blinked, the tears just came back, and she slammed into something. Wait. She recognized that perfume.
"A-Alicia?" she whispered in a small, child-like voice. Feeling a hand reach up to wipe her tears, she closed her eyes letting the person wipe her eyes and then opened them and blinked rapidly until she was able to see. "I'm s-" She stopped when she felt her bladder let loose and she began to pee in her diaper. Blushing, she said, "I-I'm sorry."
With a knowing smile, she reached for the hand that wasn't still holding the bottle, her other hand stroking her blankie soothingly. Kirsten noticed she was facing her as if she had been standing there, waiting for her. "How about we get you change?" She whispered to not make what happened so obviously to the few eavesdropping students around them. "And I wasn't mad at you, I just had to move away to away from Massie."
Glancing over here shoulder, she saw most of the kids were leaving out the other door on the other end of the room, probably to follow Massie and Dylan who were no longer in the room. There were kids, of course, who were watching them, pointing and whispering. Slowly turning around and ducking her head, she began to walk the other way with Alica's gentle tugging and warm words.
"So...sleepover tonight?" Kirsten asked as they stepped into the hallway and shifted in her now soggy, uncomfortable diaper. The blonde knew her friend wouldn't even have to ask her mother; her mother wouldn't care, nor would her two evil cousins that were staying with her, all she needed to do was call the staff manager to let her know to not expect her.
"Definitely, baby," Alicia responded, and gave her a gently kiss on her forehead.