"Three-two-one-"

"Happy New Year!"

She tried to get out of there, she really did. One-step, two-step, across the roof, up-step, down-step, to the door and-

"Riley still likes Lucas."

She didn't like remembering. But it's all she could do. Farkle's face, as he looked like he was right, even though he wasn't.

The classmates and how uncomfortable they seemed, trying to get out of there as quickly as they could. Much faster than Riley did.

Lucas looking stuck at a crossroads, like always.

But the worst was Maya, her dear Maya. With her fallen face and sad eyes that Riley never liked seeing, much less causing.

Then as the fireworks exploded, it was as if every bond between the three of them were breaking. Maya sat down, looking to the floor. Riley joined her, but something stopped her from sliding close, and she didn't know why until Lucas sat in the middle. And they just stayed there.

At one a.m. Lucas' mom came to pick him up, and before Riley could ask about the sleepover and whether or not Maya needed to borrow pajamas the blonde beauty leaves with Lucas. His mom was picking up the both of them, apparently.

Riley waited until the door closed, then walking over to the ledge. She needed to talk to herself for a bit. Or maybe British Riley, she always knew what to do.

She traced lines on the cement, looking as the colors flared across the sideline. "His mom came to pick her up; who knew they had gotten so close?"

"You didn't."

Riley pursed her lips; she didn't like that Riley. "I thought we were best friends, she was supposed to tell me everything. How could she like the guy I liked, how could she not tell me?"

"Like you told her about how you still had feelings for Lucas?"

"This never happened to Mom and Dad. What are best friends if you don't trust them?"

"Not best friends."

"Exactly. Wait, what?" Riley frowned. "Does that mean we're not friends anymore?"

She turned to sit back down on the bench, still musing about the events of the day. "We saw Lucas. She hit on Lucas, broke up with him, and pushed me into him. Is that normal?"

Nothing. She continued on.

"She liked him all that time, and I never knew. Well, that's a lie, I had a feeling, but feelings aren't supposed to explode like this. Mine maybe, but not Maya's. She's Sense and I'm Sensibility. And now girl likes boy, girl's best friend likes boy, and she'll choose the best friend because she's sane and doesn't talk to herself. And she's broken and he's Mr. Perfect and they work for each other and you can't love someone who's poisoned from the inside out."

"And Confident Riley, if you're there, I'm sorry, I didn't try to cry. I'm just very upset that my parents never had to experience heartbreak but I do. And Maya's mother had to experience heartbreak and now Maya doesn't have to because this is God's way of making it up to her. And for someone who knows everything he doesn't realize that my life isn't so perfect either. But it isn't my fault."

She looked inside her coat pocket to the paper she had, with Mrs. Lucas Friar and Mrs. Riley Friar written all over it. She traced the flower petals on the capital letters, the hearts on the 'i's. She then threw it out into the wind.

"Is it my fault for how I feel? Maybe it is. Maybe this is what I get for not telling Maya and for lying about the tater tot and for being mad at Auggie and for everything else that's probably my fault. But Lucas liked me, and if I wasn't meant to like him then God why would you make me like him because that's cruel, even in this flawed world."

"But answer me this, does he like me back?"

No one answered, and a single blue firework lit up the sky. Riley waited for the next ones with a smile on her face, but none came. Fearing an omen, she ran inside, slamming the door behind her.

The next three came, but alas, they were too late. Riley never knew.