a/n: Hi all! I heard this song on the radio the other day and got soooo many SWANQUEEN feels it was incredible. So this is a kinda sad one…but i love this song so much.
Please review and I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own this OUAT, the characters, or this song: Mr. Brightside by The Killers. All I own is this plot line and a ton of feels.
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
And I just can't look…it's killing me and taking control…
K
"You saved him," Regina murmured, wrapping her arms protectively around herself, as she stepped towards the blonde savior.
Emma just gave a shrug accompanied by a gentle smile in reply. She herself took a step forward and opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but closed it promptly, realizing nothing she had to say would be insightful or helpful.
Emma stared into Regina's dark brown eyes, which had tears still pooling in them. They were tears of joy that Henry was safe, but also tears from her fear of Henry getting hurt. One salty tear fell and trailed down her face. Emma lifted her hand gently, pulling her sleeve over it, and wiped the tear away carefully.
"Ms. Swan," Regina began to protest, as they were in public and she didn't want to cause any sort of scene or show, but Emma shook her head. Emma removed her hand from Regina's face and instead placed them on Regina's arms. She pulled the older woman's arms from around herself, and brought them down to her side. She took Regina's hands with her own, and leaned in, pressing a light kiss to Regina's lips.
Regina had always wanted to know what those soft pink lips tasted like, she wanted to feel her hands tangled in those silky blonde locks, and she had always wanted to hear that sweet voice screaming her name. But this couldn't happen.
Emma was Henry's mother, and Emma knew nothing about the curse. If Emma and Regina fell in love, the result would be devastating. The curse would break, all Regina had ever worked for would be gone. Regina had lied for this curse, killed for this curse, sold her soul for this curse. She would be damned if she didn't get everything out of it that she could. Breaking the curse because of something as foolish as love, well that would just be the worst possible thing.
But at that moment, this kiss was the sweetest thing Regina had ever experienced. Though it was chaste and short lived, her suspicions had been confirmed: kissing Emma Swan was one of the most incredible feelings in the world.
"I'm glad he's okay," Emma said after she had broken away from Regina. She squeezed Regina's hand, and offered one last smile, before walking away. She stood at her car for a moment, watching the EMT checking out Henry. Confirming again that he was alright, she hopped into her police cruiser and drove away.
Regina stood alone, surprised that no one had seen the kiss, or if they had, no one was saying anything to her. She touched her fingers to her lips, still feeling the tingling from Emma's lips on hers. She smiled to herself, before making her way over to Henry.
T
Regina wrapped her arms around herself protectively, as she always did. No one else was ever there to protect her, so she had to do it herself. She stared angrily at the brown box on the floor, now filled with the rest of Emma's things that she had left. Her anger soon turned to sadness as she caught a glimpse of red in her closet. It was in the very back and it was the last of Emma's things.
Regina reached into her closet and pulled out Emma's red leather jacket, which she hadn't seen in so long. Emma had retired it not long after they had started dating, claiming that she had just 'grown tired of it.' Regina brought it to her face and inhaled its scent. It smelled of whisky, citrus, vanilla and something uniquely 'Emma.'
She took it in her hand and brought it to their bed, well now just her bed. She climbed under the thick duvet and lay on her side. She held the jacket close, burying her face in it, and closed her eyes as the tears poured once more. She had been crying like this since Emma had left, three weeks prior, and there was something about having Emma's red jacket in her hands that made her hurt even more.
Regardless of the pain, she held Emma's jacket closely and tried to fall asleep, letting her senses overwhelming with the scent and thoughts of Emma.
K
"Ms. Swan." Emma shuddered as she heard her name being said through pursed lips that were a little too close to the nape of her neck. Regina's hands had taken there place right above these start of Emma's jeans, around her hips. Regina pulled her close so that Emma's back was pressed against the front of her.
"Ahem, it's uh, Emma," she corrected, clearing her throat, though the words still came out rough and her voice, scratchy. Her throat was dry, and she felt a familiar heat starting between her legs and spreading throughout the rest of her body.
"Emma." The name tumbled out of Regina's lips easily, and Emma felt her knees wobble, as if they could and would give out at any moment. "Turn around, dear," Regina whispered, and Emma complied.
There was a smirk on Emma's face, knowing that Regina's dominance was all an act. Emma wanted Regina, too, but she was sure Regina's motives were quite different from her own. Oh, how wrong she had been.
"I'm yours, Regina…take me if you want to," Emma breathed out in a husky voice. She bit her lip seductively, as she broke free from Regina's hold, and leaned herself up against her desk. The sheriff's station was quiet, besides the ticking of the clock, and the creak of the cell door every once in a while.
"I do," Regina nodded, and stepped forward towards Emma. She pushed herself up against Emma, stomach against stomach, breasts against breasts, causing Emma to let out a gentle gasp. Seeing her lips parted, Regina took the opportunity and caught Emma's lips with her own. She slid her tongue across Emma's lips and slipped it inside Emma's mouth. She won out as their tongues battled for dominance after a few moments, and she traced every inch of Emma's mouth. Regina pressed her thigh between Emma's legs, who gave a moan as a sign of approval.
Without breaking the kiss, Regina pushed everything off of Emma's desk, neither one caring about the mess of papers fluttering around the station.
Emma, feeling a sudden surge of confidence and overwhelming arousal, grabbed Regina's shoulders and flipped them around, so that now Regina was pushed up against the desk. Emma began kissing Regina's neck, sucking on her pulse point and then all across her collarbone, leaving marks everywhere. She pulled Regina's silky blouse off, tossing it off to the side. She made quick work of Regina's bra as well, and helped lift Regina up onto the desk. Her clothing followed Regina's shirt and bra to the floor, and she climbed up onto the desk ask well, straddling Regina's waist.
"You are so beautiful," Emma murmured, taking in the sight of Regina, exposed completely, below her. Emma continued her ministrations, kissing down Regina's body, determined to worship every inch of her. She kissed her way through the valley between Regina's breasts, then took one in her mouth, sucking gently, swirling her tongue around her nipple. Regina arched her back into Emma's touch, giving a loud moan of approval. She moved to Regina's other breast, giving it the same amount of attention she had the other.
"Emma I need you," Regina barely got out, as Emma's kisses and touches left her brain dizzy, and forming coherent thoughts was getting difficult.
"Shh, patience," Emma murmured. She gently slid Regina's black pencil skirt, followed by her panties, dangerously slowly down her legs, carelessly tossing them aside.
She placed a kiss on the mayor's stomach, below her belly button, and trailed kisses down into her left thigh, to the apex of her heat, to her other thigh. She carefully ran her finger across the length of Regina's hip, and then slipped two fingers in to the wetness, at which point Regina bucked her hips.
Emma began thrusting her fingers inside Regina, slowly at first, but then quickening her pace as the brunette's breathing got quicker and heavier. Her palm hit Regina's clit every time she thrust her fingers in.
Knowing Regina was close, Emma inserted a third finger, her pace rapid. With one last forceful thrust, accompanied by a gentle kiss on her lips, Regina's walls clamped around Emma's fingers and she released herself onto Emma, crying out, "Emma!" as she came. Regina looked so beautiful, her face contorted in ecstasy as Emma's name came tumbling from her lips once again.
Emma gently pulled her fingers from Regina's core, sucking her sweet juices off of them. She gave Regina one more kiss, as she let Regina rest for a few moments.
"That was," Regina began.
"Incredible," Emma finished, but Regina shook her head.
"We're not done yet, though." Regina rolled Emma so that she was on her back and began to kiss her, starting the same beautiful process that had just been done to her moments before.
That was the first time they made love, but it sure had not been the last.
T
When Regina awoke, it was about eight o'clock in the evening; she had slept for about five hours. The moon was glowing, casting rays of light into her room. Knowing that there was no chance of her falling back asleep after that long nap, she groaned and rubbed her eyes as she rolled herself out of bed, still wrapped in Emma's jacket.
She made her way to the bathroom slowly, her head aching from the amount of crying she had accomplished in the past few days. She splashed icy water on her face, letting the refreshing cold numb her senses for a moment. She continued to pour water on her face until her eyes were no longer as puffy and red as they had been.
She left the bathroom and got herself dressed in a plain black teeshirt and one of her few pairs of jeans. She tied her dark locks into a pony tail, not bothering to fix it up, (who cared about her and what she looked like anyways?), and trudged down the stairs.
Feeling her stomach grumbling, Regina opened up her refrigerator, then her pantry, dismayed to find that there was no food. When was the last time she had bought groceries? When was the last time she had eaten. She glanced at the list on the fridge. Oh yeah, it had been Emma's turn to buy groceries.
Emma really had been the one. Before they even had said "I love you," Regina had known. She knew that this was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She knew it was cliche, but she wanted Emma's face to be the first thing she saw when she woke up, and the last thing she saw before she went to bed. It was disgusting how typical that sounded, and a Queen was never cliche, but Regina really meant that, with all her heart.
Regina had thought that she didn't have all that much love left in her heart. Most of her love that she had left was used on Henry. The rest of her heart was either empty, or darkened by evil. When she had met Emma, she realized that there was a little bit more love in her heart than she had originally thought, and she gave every last ounce of it to Emma.
And now here she was, alone. Emma was gone. Henry was gone. When Emma had learned about the curse, and the fact that Regina hadn't told her about it, she took Henry with her, deciding it was best.
So they were both gone, and they hadn't taken all her love with them. And so what was she left with? Where was she supposed to go? What was she supposed to do now?
Her stomach grumbled again, so she put on a coat and loafers, and though she knew she would regret it soon enough, she stepped outside to start her walk to Granny's Diner.
K
"Did you like it? Emma whispered teasingly in Regina's ear, her hot breath tickling the back of Regina's neck. They were snuggled on the couch together, as the end credits of a movie were rolling. It was Emma's favorite, The Breakfast Club. Regina had never seen it, and Emma decided it was just 'one of those movies that you can't die before you've seen. I just wouldn't be right.' So they had watched it.
"Yes, dear, I did, Very much," Regina told her girlfriend, who had now been living with her for a solid two months. The two best months of her life.
"Good," Emma said, satisfied with her answer. She leaned in and kissed Regina playfully on the cheek. She then moved and placed a more seductive kiss on Regina's lips, pulling away as quickly as she started.
"You're a tease," Regina scolding.
"A cute one though, you have to admit," Emma said with a wink.
"I suppose that is true," Regina said rolling her eyes. Emma wrapped her arms around Regina, pulling her closer. It was moments like these when Regina's heart broke the most, and she was the most angry at herself. She couldn't let this keep going, not if she wanted the curse to continue, but she loved being wrapped in Emma's arms, and kissing her, and playing in the park with her and her son. Emma would hate her if she knew the truth, and so now Regina was had a dilemma.
"Regina," Emma whispered after a few moments of silence. Her head rested in the crook of the brunette's neck.
"Hm?" Regina hummed, kissing Emma's cheek.
"I have to tell you something," Emma said sweetly, causing Regina to sit up straight and pull away from Emma. She knew what Emma was going to say, and she couldn't let her.
"Don't," Regina said firmly, shaking her head.
"What?" Emma asked, hurt and shock completely evident on her face.
"I know what you're going to say. And I'm asking you…no I'm begging you, please don't," Regina said, shaking her head furiously.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Emma said, sitting up, narrowing her eyes at Regina.
"I like things the way they are, and I know, usually, the words you're about to say, make a relationship better, but I can't let you say it. Please, Emma," Regina said, her eyes wide and vulnerable.
"Regina, does this whole thing, does 'us' not mean anything to you?" Emma asked, angrily.
"No, Emma it's-" Regina began, but Emma cut her off, now on her feet.
"Do you not want me here?" Emma asked, hands on her hips now.
"No, please Emma just-" Regina tried, but was once again stopped by Emma.
"Do you not feel the same way that I do about you?" Emma asked suddenly, her jaw dropping in realization. No, no, no, Emma, please don't think that. Please don't hate me.
"I'm sorry, Emma," Regina said, a total lie, but if she admitted that she loved her, and Emma loved her, too, the curse would break.
Doing the completely opposite of what Regina had thought, Emma pushed Regina against the wall, putting a hand behind Regina's head to prevent it from slamming against the wall, she kissed her passionately.
"Well that's too damn bad, because Regina I'm in love you with you," Emma said fiercely, kissing Regina again.
"No, Emma!" Regina cried out, pushing Emma away from her, but it was two late. A bright glowing purple light engulfed them and spread across the whole town. Though Regina did not know, all throughout Storybrooke, fairy tale characters were getting their memories back, and realizing who they were, who their friends were, and who Regina was.
"Oh my God," Emma murmured, as she had flashbacks of herself as a baby being thrown in the wardrobe.
"Emma," Regina began, tears filling her eyes.
"Henry was right. All along," Emma said, hand over mouth. She looked furious.
"Oh Emma I'm so-" Regina began.
"Sorry? Are you? Because it seems like you would have just kept hiding this. Is this why you wouldn't let me say that I loved you? Because this curse would break?" Emma asked as she began putting all the pieces together in her head, and then out loud.
"Yes. Emma, it was true love that broke the curse," Regina whispered, stepping closer to Emma. She cupped the blonde's cheeks with her trembling hands. She leaned in to kiss Emma, but Emma pulled away.
"True love?" Emma asked with a raised eyebrow, to which Regina nodded. "Well, not anymore." Emma pulled Regina's hands from her face coldly and started towards the door.
"Emma wait!" Regina cried out, but Emma shook her head.
"I'll come back for my stuff later. I can't do this," Emma said, and she walked out the front door. Regina caught it before it slammed and stepped outside.
"So that's it? You're just leaving? You're just giving up on me?" Regina cried out.
"I'm just being honest, Regina, which is more than I can say that you've done," Emma spat out. She knew it was slightly uncalled for, but what she didn't know what that it truly broke Regina's heart.
"I'll just leave your stuff outside then," Regina said whispered. It was barely audible, but Emma had heard it.
"What?" She asked, turning around.
"I'll pack it all up and leave it outside…because once you and Henry hear from your mother and father and the rest of this town what I've done to all of them…you'll never want to see my face again," Regina said, the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Emma didn't know what to say in response to this, so instead, she stormed away from Regina, got into her yellow car and sped away. Regina watched her car drive off into the distance and entered back into the house. After locking her front door, she fell to the ground in a mess of sobs in her foyer. She knew a mob of angry townspeople would be coming to her home soon enough, seeking revenge, but at the moment, she couldn't care less. All that concerned Regina at the moment was that she had just lost another person, maybe two counting Henry, that she had loved. She hadn't just loved Emma, but Emma was her TRUE love. And now she was gone, and it was all her own fault.
T
Regina entered Granny's diner cautiously, her hands ready to cast a spell on anyone who attacked her. She expected to see looks of disgust and hatred on most of the people's faces, but what she saw surprised her. Most people just avoided eye contact with her completely, but some gave her sad looks of what seemed to be pity.
"You can sit any where you'd like, Regina," Ruby said quietly, offering a sad smile, "I'll get you your usual." Regina was surprised by Ruby's gentle words, but rather than arguing or questioning it, replied with a quiet thanks, and moved to a table in the far back.
She rested her head in her hands, as she caught the snippets of people whispering to each other. 'It's so sad about her and Emma' and 'they were good for each other' and 'they were happy' and 'Regina was almost nice.' The patronizing and pitying words soon turned to angrier words. 'serves her right after what she's done to us' and 'how could she lie to Emma like that?'
It made her nauseous to think about Emma. She just missed the blonde so damn much. Missed her warmth, her scent, her compassion and mostly her love.
Regina got up quickly, feeling like she was going to be sick if she heard anything else the people had to say. She walked briskly to the counter.
"On second thought, Ruby, would you mind wrapping it up to go for me, please?" Regina asked, which was followed by a chorus of 'she said PLEASE' whispers.
"Yeah, no problem," she said nodding, ducking under the counter to get a take out box.
"You're one of Emma's best friends," Regina commented as Ruby wrapped her salad.
"I am," Ruby said nodding.
"And you haven't said anything about…what happened…to me at all. You've been nice to me. Why? I don't deserve it," Regina said shaking your head.
"She's sad. And she won't say it, but I think she's sorry for ending it, especially how she did," Ruby admitted, not having the heart to tell her the whole truth. The truth how Emma had moved quickly from Regina to someone else, almost to soften the blow of losing her true love.
"But she's not coming back to me," Regina stated; it wasn't a question.
"I'm sorry," Ruby said sadly, handing the older woman her take out box.
"Thank you," Regina said accepting it. Ruby nodded, not sure if she was being thanked for the food or for being honest.
Regina walked away with her head down and out the front steps of the diner.
"Wait, Regina!" The former mayor whirled around to see the tall scantily clad waitress standing on the steps of the diner.
"Yes?" She asked half heartedly, her head beginning to pound again.
"You were the best thing that ever happened to that girl. I don't want you to ever forget that, or think what you two had was a mistake," Ruby said firmly, staring into Regina's eyes, making sure she understood what had been said.
Regina's lip was trembling and there was a terrible lump in her throat as she tried to hold back the tears.
"Thank you," she barely choked out, before quickly turning and walking away, the tears falling as soon as her back was to the waitress.
She realized as she arrived at her destination that she had been running. When she had started, she wasn't exactly sure, but now she was at the docks, at the bench where she and Emma used to come all the time, and she was sobbing and she couldn't breathe.
Once she had finally calmed herself down, she opened her box of take out and ate it silently. She was sure there would be more tears later, but for now, all she could do was sit in the quiet calm that the water hitting the docks often brought her, and she thought of Emma.
K
"Henry wait up," Emma called as she chased Henry up Regina's lawn. Emma and Regina had been sleeping together for a few weeks now, but they hadn't had any dates, so Emma was sure that meant they weren't in a relationship. She wasn't interested in seeing anyone else, but she didn't think that they were on the level to go places with Henry together. She didn't know what Regina would make of it. However, Henry had begged and pleaded that Emma spend the day with Regina and himself, so she acquiesced and said that she would ask Regina. This of course made Henry jump for joy and run out of Emma's car.
He had spent the night had Mary Margaret's because he had wanted to see Emma. Though Regina hadn't been all for the idea at first, she gave in, because she knew how happy in made her little boy to be with Emma. And though that hurt her, and she was afraid that Henry might begin to love Emma more than her, she was seeing that he could actually love them equally and have good relationships with both.
"Kid let me ask-" Emma began as Regina opened the door to a panting Emma, who had just chased Henry to the door, and a grinning little boy.
"Hello Henry," she greeted with a smile, kissing her son on the forehead. "Ms. Swan," she added politely.
"Hey Regina," Emma said with a little wave. "Well, kid, I should be going. I'll see you later," Emma said to Henry, turning to go.
"You're not getting away that easily. You said you'd ask!" Henry called her out quickly, to which Emma rolled her eyes.
"Ask what, Ms. Swan?" Regina asked raising an eyebrow.
"Henry wanted me to-" Emma began, but Henry cut her off.
"No, she wanted to know," Henry corrected, though it wasn't true.
"Oh, excuse me. I wanted to know if I could spend the day with you and Henry," Emma explained with a wink, that Regina understood, and played along.
"Well, I don't know about that, Ms. Swan," Regina began, the two women wanting to see how far they could string Henry along.
"Please please please please Mom!" Henry begged.
"You're pleading? But I thought Emma was the one that wanted to spend the day?" Regina asked with a childish sparkle to her eyes.
"Well, uh, she did," Henry stuttered, covering himself quickly, "But she's too proud to beg, so I'm taking one for the team and doing it for her."
"Oh is that how it is, kid?" Emma asked.
"Yes," Henry said very seriously.
"Hmm, maybe he might tell the truth if he's under attack," Emma suggested, looking to see if Regina had caught onto what she was insinuating.
"Yes Ms. Swan…perhaps by a monster?" Regina suggested.
"A monster?" Henry asked fearfully.
"Oh yes. The biggest. The baddest. The scariest," Emma explained, walking up behind Henry, preparing to grab him.
"The tickle monster!" Regina cried out, as Emma took hold of him and Regina began to tickle. Henry screamed and giggled as the two women tortured him until he finally caved.
"Alright! Alright!" He choked out between laughs, "I wanted to know! I did! I surrender!"
Regina and Emma released him from their hold, sharing a fond look at their son.
"What did you have in mind, Henry?" Regina asked.
"Picnic in the park?" He suggested sheepishly.
"Absolutely," Regina said with a smile.
"And Emma can come?" Henry asked.
"If she'd like," Regina allowed. Henry turned his puppy dog eyes on Emma now.
"Emma?" He asked.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," She said with a smile. He hugged her tightly.
"Run inside and grab a couple blankets, Henry, while Emma and I pack some food up," Regina told her son, who nodded and sprinted inside and up the stairs.
The two women walked inside the kitchen and Regina laid out some fruit and handed a cutting board and knife to Emma. She then made her way to the fridge to make some sandwiches. They were preparing lunch in silence, when Regina turned to see Emma staring at her.
"What?" Regina asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You called me Emma," the blonde replied with a smile.
"Well I was talking to Henry. And he doesn't call you Ms. Swan," Regina said with a shrug, turning back to her food.
"That's never stopped you before," Emma commented.
"So I called you Emma. Would you like me to go back to Ms. Swan?" Regina asked rolling her eyes.
"No," Emma murmured, surprising Regina with the fact that she was now right behind her.
"Emma," Regina murmured.
"Yes?" Emma asked, pulling Regina closer to her.
"Henry is upstairs," she reminded her, pushing away a little.
"Exactly. He's upstairs. So he won't see me do this," Emma said, and kissed Regina sweetly. It was a gentle, kind kiss on her lips, that was brief, but had Regina seeing stars. Emma pulled away and went back to cut her fruit.
"That's it?" Regina asked, disappointed.
"There's a kid upstairs," Emma said with a wink, loving to push the mayor's buttons. She turned back to her fruit and continued in silence with a smirk.
Regina rolled her eyes and continued her preparation.
.oOo.
After a long day of hiking, playing in the creek by the park, a lunch full of laughs and teasing, and a rousing game of catch, the three were completely exhausted.
Regina was propped up with her back against a tree, and Emma was positioned the same way right next to her. Henry was asleep, cuddled into Regina's lap, with a blanket wrapped around him.
"You know, spending the day with you was not what I had in mind when I planned my day with Henry," Regina said when she was sure Henry was completely asleep.
"I know. I'm sorry," Emma said, biting her lip awkwardly.
"I didn't say it was a bad thing," Regina commented. "I had a good time today."
"Really?" Emma asked surprised.
"Yeah," Regina nodded with a gentle smile. Emma sneakily moved her hand over, little by little, until it brushed up against Regina's. The brunette all the while pretended not to notice the blonde's not to subtle move. When Emma's fingers brushed with Regina's for a second time, she linked them together. They continued sitting in silence with their fingers tangled in each others. Emma kissed Regina's cheek, and then placed a reverent kiss to the corner of Emma's mouth.
Regina rested her head on Emma's shoulder, and they sat there together in a peaceful silence until the sun began to set and it got colder.
This was the day Regina realized she was falling for Emma.
T
After she had finished her salad, she got up and made her way back into town, away from the docks. That was the last time she would sit there, she vowed. It hurt too much to remember all of the good times she and Emma had had there.
She made her way back to town, towards her house. As she walked through one of the many streets of Storybrooke, something made her stop. It was a laugh, so melodious and familiar, it made Regina forget about everything else. It was Emma's.
But there was another voice with hers, laughing as well. It was deeper, masculine, but also familiar. It was….
"Neal!" Emma exclaimed laughing.
"You're parents hate me! I can't help it," Neal said chuckling.
"Well telling them that the reason Henry is passed out is because you gave him some whisky sure isn't gonna win them over! You could have told them we were just at the park," Emma said with a wink, slapping him.
"It was funnier this way," Neal said with shrug. Regina walked around the corner where she saw Emma and Neal walking up a driveway. Apparently, after she moved out of Regina's, she had moved in with Neal instead of her parents.
"I know," Emma said laughing. She kissed Neal deeply, a smile plastered on her face. But Regina knew that smile probably better than anyone else. Emma wasn't truly happy; that was her fake smile, and it pained Regina to see that.
"It sure was nice of them to take Henry for the night, so we can have some alone time," Neal said with a charming grin.
"And what are we going to do ALL night, while we're ALL alone?" Emma teased.
"Well, I have a few ideas," Neal said with a smirk.
"And I have a few of my own," Emma shot back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began kissing him passionately. And while it was genuine, it wasn't the tender love that she and Regina had. This was more forced, more rushed. It was like Emma was trying to find that old spark in Neal again to get over Regina.
"Neal," Emma moaned his name, as his hands roamed up and down her dress. Regina watched in agony from the street as the pair entered the house. She looked to see a window with shades pulled down, but the window was open. She could see their shadows and she could hear everything.
She watched as the hands wandered, and he began to pull off Emma's dress. That was enough for Regina. She rushed quickly to a bush, releasing the contents of her stomach into it. She was surprised to feel a soothing hand on her back, as she threw up. After a few moments, she stood back up, wiping her mouth with the napkin in her pocket from lunch. She turned to see that the comforting hand belonged to Ruby.
"Did you know?" Regina whispered in horror.
"She's been there since she left your place. Wouldn't see me… wouldn't see her parents," Ruby said sadly, "I'm sorry, Regina."
"It's…it's her life. I messed up. I can't stop her from doing whatever she wants now," Regina said shakily. "She was my happy ending, and I'm giving her up, because it's what's best for her."
"I don't think that's true, Regina," Ruby said.
"Yeah? And neither do I!" Regina snapped, and then closed her eyes as a few tears fell. "I'm sorry," she apologized.
"I know you are. And so does Emma," Ruby said.
"Then why won't she take me back? I can't live with out her, Ruby," Regina murmured, her body trembling.
"You have to talk to her. You won't lose her," Ruby suggested, trying to be optimistic.
"I already have…" Regina murmured. With that, she walked away, leaving the tall waitress alone, outside of Emma and Neal's house.
When she arrived at her home, she spent several hours sobbing in bed, accompanied by half a bottle of whisky, and then Regina passed out, falling fast asleep.
.oOo.
Regina woke up with around noon the next day, feeling groggy and unrefreshed. Though she went without a hangover, because as she had told Emma time and time again, she never got hangovers, she was still sick from all the tears and from what she saw of Emma and Neal.
She showered, dressed and made herself some coffee, and then left her house. She couldn't bear to be cooped up in her home, as everything about it reminded her of Emma.
She walked for what seemed like forever until she realized where she had ended up- the docks. As sad as it made her, this place was also her solace. She walked to the edge of the dock and leaned against the railing. She shoved her hands in her pocket and shuddered when she felt a cool burn on her finger. She grabbed hold of what had surprised her senses, and pulled out a small diamond ring. It was the ring she had gotten for Emma.
She studied the ring, and watched as it glimmered in the sun. They could have had a life together.
"No we couldn't have…" Regina murmured.
"Were you talking to me?" a voice from behind Regina asked, startling her. She whipped around to see Emma standing a few feet behind her, hands in pockets.
"No…sorry…myself," Regina said awkwardly, turning back around to the water.
"What's that?" Emma asked.
"I was going to propose to you, you know. Even before you said that you loved me, I knew you did and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…" Regina said, turning to face Emma again. Emma took Regina's hands in her own.
"I know…" Emma whispered, because that's all she could say. The two women were so completely overwhelmed with emotion at this point, that they truly couldn't speak. It was only after several minutes that Emma broke the silence.
"But I can't be with you…" Emma said sadly. "I'm the savior….you're the evil queen. After everything you did to my family…to the people here…to the people there…I can't…" Emma's voice trailed away. "And it's not only that it directly affects me and my family," Emma began, "It changes the way I look at you…the person I thought you were. And that kills me, Regina…it does, but I can't do it," Emma said, tears filling her eyes.
"I know," Regina said pulling her hands away from Emma's. She held her hand with the ring over the side of the rail.
"What are you doing?" Emma asked quietly.
"You're letting me go. You have to. I understand. And so I'm letting you go as best as I can," Regina whispered. She dropped the diamond ring into the water, watching as it got lost for every in the abyss of black, freezing water.
"I wish you'd come back to me, Emma," Regina admitted.
"I can't," Emma said, shaking her head with a sigh.
"I know. I hope Neal takes care of you, and loves you, but he'll never love you the way I did," Regina told her. "Good bye, Emma." She leaned in and kissed Emma chastely on the corner of her mouth, "I love you, too," Regina murmured, and with that she walked away, leaving Emma alone on the docks.
She couldn't have Emma, and she knew she never would, but she would keep pining away for her, and keep loving her every day, just incase.
a/n: please review! thanks for reading! :)