Hey!
I am not a ranger, or a Rohirrm,
I don't live in a hobbit hole
Or eat Lembas, or own a staff
I don't know Elladan, Erestor, or Glorfindel from Rivendell
Although I am sure they are really, really nice
I have a kind, not a lord
I speak Sindarin and Quenya, not Westorn
I pronounce it "Shorty" not "Dwarf"
I can proudly shoot an orc blindfolded and riding a horse from a hundred yards away
I believe in archery, not swordplay
Drinking, not smoking
And that blond elves are truly not that stupid!
The circlet is not a tiara
A Galadhrim lives in a tree
And Glorfindel saved Frodo, not Arwen, Glorfindel!
Mirkwood is overrun with spiders
We're the first elves to get hammered
And – HOLY SHIT IT'S THE FANGIRLS!!
My name is Legolas, and
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!!!
Thank you.
AN This was a parody of Joe's I AM CANADIAN!!! Speech from the Molson commercials. Most Canadians have seen it. For those who want the original version; just email me and I send it to you. It is really inspiring and highlights a lot of the cool things about Canadians.
My name is Erenriel, and
I AM CANADIAN!!!