Mionegrande fanfiction
How you feel
Ron has never been good with his feelings, always feeling neglected by his family, always reminded how he was nothing compared to the 'chose one' and always feeling as if he doesn't exist. That, of course, changed when he and Hermione got together, she makes him feel like a hero, her hero. But there was one thing bugging him constantly that her tries to stamp down whenever it crosses his mind.
Viktor.
Now even from fourth year, Ron felt as if he could never compare himself to the great and mighty Viktor Krum. He was absolutely adamite of this. Occasionally, Hermione will go out to have dinner with Viktor, 'as friends', but this is not convincing enough for Ron. Usually at this point in his train of thoughts, the tears arrive. But luckily, Hermione is already on her dinner with Viktor so of course Ron wouldn't matter, would he?
Today was no different, Ron faked a smile and wished Hermione a 'goodbye' and a 'I love you' before she, notably gleefully, apparated to the place where should would be meeting Viktor.
"Of course, she would rather spend the day with that Bulgarian Bon-Bon than me, it'll only be a matter of time before she decides to chuck me" Ron muttered as he vigorously wiped away a lone tear with his jumper and trudged to the kitchen in despair.
What Ron didn't realise was that Viktor was in fact engaged himself to a Bulgarian journalist and already had a baby boy. Hermione was always trying to ask him how to plan a baby with Ron by asking Viktor what it was like to have a small one round the house. She clearly had no idea how Ron interrupted the whole saga, by being overly polite to her whenever she was around, allowed her to do whatever she wanted, even if it was at his own cost and tried desperately to be the man she could want again, already believing he had messed up.
As Ron reached the kitchen, he stopped and stared at his favourite photo of him and Hermione. The day they got together, officially. He smiled sadly, telling himself to enjoy the remains of this relationship while it lasted. He then picked up the framed photo and placed a shaky kiss on her side of the photo.
"I'm so sorry my darling, I'll be whoever you want me to be, just please don't give up on me yet, I swear I'll do whatever it takes to keep you. I'll hold you every night, I'll sing to you, I'll do anything. Please baby please," Ron whispered hoarsely while grasping the photo tight to his chest and allowing the stored tears to finally fall onto the floor.
"What do you mean?" A tiny soft voice whispered behind him. Shit. Hermione.
"Oh hey, err, Hermione, everything alright?" Ron blurted out quickly as he shoved the photo back into its original place and wiping his tears away, trying to act as casual as possible.
"You're crying, honey, and why do you think you're going to lose me?" Hermione whispered weakly as she shuffled over to Ron and cupped his face in her hands. Ron didn't dare to look at her in the eyes, he knew all he would see is disappointment and pity glowing there. He didn't need to see that she had finally come to tell him that she had chosen Viktor, he would rather just get on with life and move on.
Ignoring her comment, Ron shrugged and quickly changed the subject.
"I was just about to make you something for when you two come back, you know as a nice evening snack sort of thing. You know, like some popcorn so you two can watch a movie or something, I mean, I'm fine going out the house for the night while you two spend some time together, I'm sure mum wouldn't mind me staying ove-…" His rambling was interrupted by Hermione throwing herself into him and giving him a bone-crushing hug.
"Stop that right now Ronald Weasley!" Hermione said fiercely as she clung on to him. "I know what you are implying and I'll be having none of this, absolutely none of it. Viktor and I are merely good friends, all what happened was that I wanted a good catch up, nothing else!" She finished angrily and pulled away from his grasp, glaring up at him with heated eyes. But Ron merely stood there, avoiding eye contact and shuffling his feet while ringing his hands, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation. Once again though, he just shrugged and looked at the floor, the tears beginning to well up.
Hermione instantly softened as she noticed how defeated he looked and forced him to look at her.
"Ronald, honey, honestly sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere, I'm yours Ron, I always have and I always will be, you have to trust me darling, you have to," She whispered softly as she examined his pain filled eyes. She then gently moved up on her tip toes and gave a gentle kiss on the lips, before pulling his hand and guiding him to the Livingroom.
When they were sat side by side on the sofa, Hermione turned to him.
"Tell me what's wrong Ron, what's going through your head, please tell me honey," She whispered as they gently held hands between them. Ron slowly lifted his head and gave her a weak smile before leaning over and kissing her softly. As he pulled back, he spoke.
"I know that it is none of my business who you go and see, who you make plans with or whatever, but I guess..." He broke off, afraid of her reaction to his true feelings. Hermione squeezed his hand for reassurance so he continued.
"Ever since Viktor took you to the Yule Ball in Fourth year, I knew I could never compete, I'm not good enough for you or for anyone in fact..." He whispered with a nervous and dejected laugh, "I honestly convince myself every day you go and see him that you'll come home and announce you are leaving me, and to be fair, I wouldn't blame you, I mean he's everything that I'm not. He's rich, good looking, kind and famous, whereas I'm ugly, poor, unworthy and a just a plain grumpy ginger git. You deserve better Hermione, much better, you deserve a guy like that, a guy that can provide for you, a guy that can treat you far better and especially a guy you would want to start a life with," He broke off the rest of his ranting by breaking down completely in Hermione's arms. Shocked by his speech, Hermione held him as close as possible and shedding tears of her own.
"I'm so sorry Ron, I didn't know this was how you feel, it doesn't matter about Viktor, you're the one I want, you're my everything, I love you so damn much," Hermione whispered as Ron began to compose himself and shuffle closer to her. The two then locked eyes and smiled at each other lovingly. It was at that moment, that Hermione knew she had to explain everything to him and to make him finally stop his insecurities tearing him apart.
"Listen, the reason I have these dinners with Viktor is because he gives me guidance on something. He is married with a baby boy..." She trailed off as she realised how slow she was taking this. "Look, I was asking how to plan for a baby because I want to have kids with you, Ron, I needed his advice because he's been through it before,".
There. It had been said. The truth. Ron didn't know what to do. So, she did still love him and was not in fact leaving him. All at once, Ron let out a sigh of relief and pulled Hermione as close to him as possible. The couple spent the next hour or so cuddling, kissing and crying, before Ron finally picked Hermione up and took her upstairs for the night.