It's a Date, It's a Mess
By: JC Maxwell-Yuy
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JC: Oh yea. It's really a mess. This is kind of a spin off and whacked out of proportion version of episode 71. How lovely.
Kaidoh: SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH… JC doesn't own Tennis no Oujisama and it's characters and SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… never will. SSSHHHHH….
JC: YOSH! JC, to serve! 30-0! HA!
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"Hm?" Inui adjusted his glasses to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Momoshiro and Echizen were standing together in front of a convenience store with Tachibana Ann. Grinning evilly, he picked up his cell and dialed a number.
"Hello?" Kikumaru's voice answered.
"It's a date." Inui said, the image of Momo, Echizen, and Tachibana reflected in his glasses. Apparently, they were so into their 'date' they didn't even notice him.
"WHA~?" Kikumaru sounded lost.
"Momoshiro…" Inui paused. "And Fudomine's Captain Tachibana's little sister."
"EH? She's cute but Momo…" Kikumaru started.
"Echizen is with them." Inui reported.
"EH? A double date?"
"No, only one girl."
"Then that must mean it's a love triangle… wait… do people in those things go on dates together?"
"Want to follow them?"
"Hee hee."
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And so, ever so carefully, Inui and Kikumaru followed the trio through town until they stopped at the street tennis courts. Quickly ducking into the nearby alley, Kikumaru strained to listen in on their conversation. Unfortunately, as great as his eyesight was, his hearing wasn't that great so…
"Inui! They're saying a tennis duel." the redhead gasped, but Inui was already dialing another number. "Who are you calling at a time like this?"
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Halfway across town, Kawamura dashed out of his family restaurant and hopped the bus.
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Tezuka picked his phone up. After listening to Inui explain the situation, the Seigaku captain promptly hung up upon Inui's request that he'd join them in watching the 'date'.
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* CLICK*
"He hung up." Inui said flatly to the phone.
"Just who in the world are you calling? I WANT TO GO WATCH THEM!" Kikumaru groaned impatiently.
"HEY!" Kawamura jumped off the departing bus and ran over. "What do you mean Echizen and Momo are on a date?" Kawamura panted.
"EH? Though it'd be nice… WHAT ARE YOU TELLING THOSE PEOPLE YOU CALL?" Kikumaru yelled.
"The real truth."
"OOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" Oishi barely managed to bring his bicycle to a halt as he barreled into the middle of a group. "What's this about Ryoma and Momo dueling over their date?"
"HAH?!" Kikumaru and Kawamura blinked.
"No… they shouldn't resort to violence. But anyway, the loser… will be emotionally scarred and feel like he isn't loved at all!" Oishi cried and clutched his head. "We have to stop them!"
"That's what's expected from Seigaku's mommy. His worries are somewhat different." Inui mumbled.
"Mou! If they were happy and doing… THAT!" Oishi moaned. "Oh, where did I go wrong?"
At this time, Inui decided to dial Tezuka again.
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Tezuka was enjoying some tea when the phone rang.
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* CLICK *
"He hung up again. How rude." Inui muttered as he punched in another number… which was met with a voice message.
"Hurry up Inui. I wanna go!" Kikumaru whined as Inui dialed Tezuka's number again.
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Tezuka was feeding the fish in his fishpond when the phone rang.
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* CLICK *
"He hung up again." Inui said. On the side, Kikumaru wasn't giving up on his whining, so Inui dialed Kaidoh's number.
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"So you'll be here shortly." Inui's voice crackled over the phone.
"Fine." Kaidoh kept running.
"It's a date. I'll be waiting." * CLICK *
"OY! WHAT WAS THAT?!" Kaidoh stopped mid-stride, but Inui had already hung up. Frowning, Kaidoh thought over the last two lines. Somehow, the image of them on a date was revolting… but somehow pleasant… however, he wasn't about to let the bystanders get that impression.
"GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
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"Well?" Kikumaru was snickering.
"You shouldn't lead people on like that!" Oishi scolded.
"He was very surprised." Inui chuckled as his phone rang again.
"Ah Kaidoh." Inui answered, as Kikumaru continued to hide his giggles behind his palm. "Oh yes, that. Were you surprised?"
* CLICK *
"He hung up." Inui closed his phone, disappointed. There went even more valuable data.
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Fuji stopped upon the most interesting spectacle he'd seen in a while. Tachibana's sister, Momo, Kamio, and Echizen were standing in a group, all caught up in some argument. Ibu, Mizuki, Yuuta all stood off to the side, not wanting to get involved.
"Hm… Echizen seems really angry at Momo today." Fuji mused as he glanced at his cell.
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"Fuji says it's a love square." Inui said after Fuji hung up.
"EH?!" Oishi cried. "This is bad! THE STD's WILL SPREAD FASTER THIS WAY IF THEY DON'T USE PROTECTION!"
"Oishi!" Kawamura's face was bright red. "I don't think they'd be doing that sort of thing on a tennis court."
"Oh, this is terrible. After this, they'll all go over to one person's house to shower and change and then…" Oishi clasped the sides of his face. "A love square!"
"Oishi. I think you need to calm down for once." Kikumaru patted his partner's shoulder.
"How are we going to get them to believe in abstinence?" Oishi began screaming hysterically. Inui calmly dialed Tezuka's number again.
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Tezuka hung up before Inui could finish his question.
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By now, Oishi was just as impatient as his doubles partner. The two were jumping up and down like children as Inui calmly insisted they would wait for Kaidoh, who was taking surprisingly a long time to get there.
"I can't take this anymore!" Oishi said.
"But Kaidoh…" Kawamura stopped, knowing nothing would stop Oishi's motherly instinct.
"We have to persuade them! They can't do those sort of things! Even with protection!" Oishi spun around, his face pink and frustrated.
"Guess there's no choice. We'll go." Inui said. The instant the last word slipped from his mouth, Kikumaru and Oishi were locked in a mad dash up to the courts.
When they got there however… Echizen was glaring at Momo, who was out of breath on the court with Kamio. Fuji was sitting on the bench next to Yuuta, and Mizuki looked ready to knock himself unconscious on the net poles. Ibu looked… bored.
"HUH?" Kikumaru blinked… and blinked again. "There's only guys."
"EH?! SO THEY'RE ALL GOING TO DO IT?!" Oishi started biting his nails.
"Hah?" Mizuki looked confused.
"So it wasn't a love square after all." Kawamura breathed a sigh of relief.
"Baka Momo-senpai." Echizen muttered and latched himself onto Momo's arm. "Mada mada dane."
"This is wonderful data." Inui pulled out his notebook and began scribbling down things.
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Somehow… Kaidoh was forgotten.
"SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…."
The End