The Xelloss Loves Filia Ficcie
**
Kawaii Konversations:
NoV: Well, this is what most people voted for, so here we are.
Xelloss: It doesn't mean they like you, though.
NoV: :P Anyway, it's nice to be home. I haven't talked to Alex since he broke it off, and I don't want to talk to him, anyways. I'd much rather talk to Jackson!
Zelgadis: (jotting down notes) Wait, now who is Jackson?
NoV: ..are you documenting my love life?
Zelgadis: You gotta problem with that?
NoV: ...no. Jackson is the one who brought me a chair when I fainted in chemistry class.
Xelloss: I thought that was James.
NoV: No, James is my cousin.
Zelgadis: Isn't he the one who's two years older than you?
NoV: Yes.
Zelgadis: The one who cried when he beat him on Mario?
NoV: (giggle) Yes. He tends to hold grudges. I want put pepper in his soda when I was like five, and he still hasn't forgiven me. o.o
Zelgadis: Talk about holding a grudge..
NoV: Well, from the title, you must have gathered that this is a F/X ficcie. I owed it to a fan who already thanked me for writing it ahead of time, and I put it off and put it off, and now I just have to do it.
Xelloss: A word to the audience: the Xelloss in this fic is not me. It is an evil clone from the dimension of evil clones.
Gourry: Like Goo-clone!
Xelloss: Yes. Like Goo-clone.
NoV: Since there were other requests like Goo-chan's room and Lina's room, I'll be interchanging them through the ficcie. And, the next vote will be for the absolute forever-reigning room. So, vote! Goo's room, my room, Xel's room, Zel's room, Lina's room, Filia's room, or any other Slayers character's room. I'll hafta think of a name, of course. Unless you, the fans, have a name for it! So, vote, vote, vote! Exercise your right!
**
Once upon a day, Xelloss figured out that he was in love with Filia. The love feeling was strange to him, because, as it was, it hurt him, and since Xelloss enjoyed pain, he found that love could be fun if put into proper perspective.
He had to tell someone.
Knock, knock.
"Filia!! Wake up!!" he yelled, knocking loudly on the dragon's door.
Filia, with furtive bedhead, came traipsing to the door. She looked through her peephole and saw purple.
"Darn kids, selling cookies at two o'clock in the morning," she grumbled, unlocking and unbolting her door. Finally, after opening many locks and other security devices, she opened her door.
The priestess' eyes grew wide. There, leaning against her post was Xellos, snoozing away.
"Namagomi!" she roared.
"Huh? Wha??" Xelloss looked around groggily. "Oh! Morning, Fi-chan!" he greeted. "You took so long I fell asleep!"
"Why were you knocking on my door??" Filia demanded.. "Now it's covered in Nama-germs!" She shoved Xelloss. "Move it." The ryuuzoku disinfected her door, and then the pole Xelloss had been leaning against. She threw her spray bottle into the background. "Oh-kay. WHADDAYA WANT???"
"Fi-chan!" Xelloss cried, hugging her. "I just discovered the most WONDERFUL thing!!!"
"It touched me," Filia said, unbelievingly. "Excuse me for a moment." She went back inside her house, closed the door, and screamed until all of her windows broke.
Xellos patiently waited as Filia slowly came back outside.
"Now, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to go disinfect myself," Filia apologized. "You touched me for 2.3 seconds, and getting all the Nama-germs off my body could take HOURS or YEARS, g'night."
With that, she slammed the door shut and ran upstairs.
Xelloss stood staring at her trail of smoke.
"Oh, how sweet," he mused. "She's shy about her feelings for me."
**
Firey Fortress:
NoV: Here we are, in Lina-chan's room!
Lina: Yes, it's lovely. I spent hours and days and weeks decorating it.
NoV: Really?
Lina: No. I whacked Gourry and he did it.
Xelloss: Why are we not surprised?
Gourry: 'Cause Lina likes to whack me.
Xelloss: But, of course.
NoV: I really like your room! It's all flamey-like and pretty! It LOOKS like a Firey Fortress!
Lina: That IS the point, after all.
NoV: ^;^
Xelloss: I'd like to take a moment to say that I don't like this fic, in the least, because-
NoV: Time to restart the ficcie!
Xelloss: But I'm not finished!!
**
Six hours later, Filia finally deemed herself as being clean and stepped out of her shower.
She wrapped herself in a towel and began to brush her long, blond hair.
The dragon sensed a presence behind her and quickly snapped her head toward her bathroom window.
Xelloss was floating there, holding candy and flowers. "Top of the morning, Fi-chan!" he exclaimed, sounding muffled by the thick glass.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" Filia screamed. "PERVERT!!" She hit the shutters with her elbow, roughly closing them.
Xelloss looked sadly at the window, as his flowers wilted sympathetically.
"Maybe she's allergic to daffodils," he reasoned, teleporting away.
Back inside, Filia was brushing her hair, vehemently.
"What does she think this is??" she asked herself, loudly. "A nickel peep- show?? The nerve of stupid mazoku bakas!"
Once her hair began to get TOO brushed and looked curly, she stopped brushing.
"What have I done??" she cried. "I look like a poodle!!!!"
**
Xelloss floated on his back above Filia's house. He pondered his predicament.
"Maybe I should directly try the indirect direct approach," he contemplated. "Which means-" He sat up in midair. "Which means if I make her mad, she'll feel good, and therefore, she'll love me, thus creating good emotions to make me hurt, so I'll feel good too! I'm a genius!"
He phased out and back in inside Filia's shop.
**
Filia sighed and made her way to her shop downstairs. It was almost time to open it, and the customers could get pretty disagreeable if she was late.
The priestess flicked on the lights and set her bag down beside her desk.
She picked up a magazine and sat down on a stool.
"Miss?" a voice wondered.
Filia looked up. "Welcome to Maces and Vases, how many I help-you?" She stared at Xelloss, who was holding up a rather large, and equally valuable pot.
"Yes, you can," he replied. "I just want to know if this vase is breakable?"
Filia gulped. "Yes..it is...why?"
CRASH!!
"Whoops!" Xelloss put a hand to his face, fake-fretting. "Sorry, Fi-chan. I hope that wasn't TOO expensive!"
"WHY YOU!!!" the ryuuzoku shrieked, growling.
"Is this priceless china breakable too?" the priest asked. "Let's see."
CRASH!!
"Aaah! That was one-of-a-kind, you creep!" Filia yelled.
"Was it? My bad!"
Filia had had enough. She tackled Xelloss and began bashing his skull into the floor with her mace.
Xelloss sighed, contentedly. "I knew she'd fall for me."
**
Baka Bonsai:
NoV: Ta-DA!!
Xelloss: That was one of the top five on my sickening list.
Gourry: You have a sickening list? Neat!!
Zelgadis: Gourry. Nobody says neat anymore.
NoV: I say it all the time.
Zelgadis: Well, it isn't commonly used in conversations anymore.
NoV: Yes, it is.
Zelgadis: It isn't.
NoV: It IS.
Zelgadis: NO!!
NoV: YES!!
Zelgadis: Grrr..
NoV: Grrr..
Bishounen: Nova-chan, I wanna have a room, too.
NoV: Alrighty, I'm taking votes for the next two days. Whichever room gets the most votes is the forever-more room we broadcast from.
#1: Kawaii Konversations: NoV's room, old school. Filled with NoV's recollections, clothes, and stuffed animals.
#2: Gloomy Gossip: Zelgadis' room. Dark, dank, and Rezo-hatred shrine. Filled with Rezo dart boards, empty Sobes, and three hundred coffee makers.
#3: Macey Placey: Filia's room, mace central. Filled with Filia's mace collection, ripped picture of Xelloss, and framed pictures of Valgaav.
#4: Bishy Bedroom: Bishounen's room, glomp-dom. Filled with cuddly bunnies, ice cream, and rainbows.
#5: Firey Fortress: Lina's room, dragon slave kingdom. Filled with flaming candles, fire-painted walls, and-Gourry photos??
#6: Hentai Hullabaloo: Xelloss' room, under construction for the better. Soon will be filled with black holes, black lights, and blackNESS.
#7: Baka Bonsai: Gourry's room, food. Filled with food, food, and...erm, food.
#8: Dragon's Dungeon: Gaav's room, Mary-ou chambers. Filled with Xelloss dart boards, Phibby dart boards, and really big trench coats.
#9: Horny Heavens: Valgaav's room, ignore the horn pun. Filled with cherries, fairies, and sunscreeen.
#10: Cutie Corner: Phibby's room, evil kawaii-ness. Filled with plush things, world take-over plans, and chocolate.
NoV: So, vote for your favorite and hope that it wins! If I forgot your favey character, no worries! Send me the character and I'll make 'em a room, if they get the most votes!
**
Kawaii Konversations:
NoV: Well, this is what most people voted for, so here we are.
Xelloss: It doesn't mean they like you, though.
NoV: :P Anyway, it's nice to be home. I haven't talked to Alex since he broke it off, and I don't want to talk to him, anyways. I'd much rather talk to Jackson!
Zelgadis: (jotting down notes) Wait, now who is Jackson?
NoV: ..are you documenting my love life?
Zelgadis: You gotta problem with that?
NoV: ...no. Jackson is the one who brought me a chair when I fainted in chemistry class.
Xelloss: I thought that was James.
NoV: No, James is my cousin.
Zelgadis: Isn't he the one who's two years older than you?
NoV: Yes.
Zelgadis: The one who cried when he beat him on Mario?
NoV: (giggle) Yes. He tends to hold grudges. I want put pepper in his soda when I was like five, and he still hasn't forgiven me. o.o
Zelgadis: Talk about holding a grudge..
NoV: Well, from the title, you must have gathered that this is a F/X ficcie. I owed it to a fan who already thanked me for writing it ahead of time, and I put it off and put it off, and now I just have to do it.
Xelloss: A word to the audience: the Xelloss in this fic is not me. It is an evil clone from the dimension of evil clones.
Gourry: Like Goo-clone!
Xelloss: Yes. Like Goo-clone.
NoV: Since there were other requests like Goo-chan's room and Lina's room, I'll be interchanging them through the ficcie. And, the next vote will be for the absolute forever-reigning room. So, vote! Goo's room, my room, Xel's room, Zel's room, Lina's room, Filia's room, or any other Slayers character's room. I'll hafta think of a name, of course. Unless you, the fans, have a name for it! So, vote, vote, vote! Exercise your right!
**
Once upon a day, Xelloss figured out that he was in love with Filia. The love feeling was strange to him, because, as it was, it hurt him, and since Xelloss enjoyed pain, he found that love could be fun if put into proper perspective.
He had to tell someone.
Knock, knock.
"Filia!! Wake up!!" he yelled, knocking loudly on the dragon's door.
Filia, with furtive bedhead, came traipsing to the door. She looked through her peephole and saw purple.
"Darn kids, selling cookies at two o'clock in the morning," she grumbled, unlocking and unbolting her door. Finally, after opening many locks and other security devices, she opened her door.
The priestess' eyes grew wide. There, leaning against her post was Xellos, snoozing away.
"Namagomi!" she roared.
"Huh? Wha??" Xelloss looked around groggily. "Oh! Morning, Fi-chan!" he greeted. "You took so long I fell asleep!"
"Why were you knocking on my door??" Filia demanded.. "Now it's covered in Nama-germs!" She shoved Xelloss. "Move it." The ryuuzoku disinfected her door, and then the pole Xelloss had been leaning against. She threw her spray bottle into the background. "Oh-kay. WHADDAYA WANT???"
"Fi-chan!" Xelloss cried, hugging her. "I just discovered the most WONDERFUL thing!!!"
"It touched me," Filia said, unbelievingly. "Excuse me for a moment." She went back inside her house, closed the door, and screamed until all of her windows broke.
Xellos patiently waited as Filia slowly came back outside.
"Now, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to go disinfect myself," Filia apologized. "You touched me for 2.3 seconds, and getting all the Nama-germs off my body could take HOURS or YEARS, g'night."
With that, she slammed the door shut and ran upstairs.
Xelloss stood staring at her trail of smoke.
"Oh, how sweet," he mused. "She's shy about her feelings for me."
**
Firey Fortress:
NoV: Here we are, in Lina-chan's room!
Lina: Yes, it's lovely. I spent hours and days and weeks decorating it.
NoV: Really?
Lina: No. I whacked Gourry and he did it.
Xelloss: Why are we not surprised?
Gourry: 'Cause Lina likes to whack me.
Xelloss: But, of course.
NoV: I really like your room! It's all flamey-like and pretty! It LOOKS like a Firey Fortress!
Lina: That IS the point, after all.
NoV: ^;^
Xelloss: I'd like to take a moment to say that I don't like this fic, in the least, because-
NoV: Time to restart the ficcie!
Xelloss: But I'm not finished!!
**
Six hours later, Filia finally deemed herself as being clean and stepped out of her shower.
She wrapped herself in a towel and began to brush her long, blond hair.
The dragon sensed a presence behind her and quickly snapped her head toward her bathroom window.
Xelloss was floating there, holding candy and flowers. "Top of the morning, Fi-chan!" he exclaimed, sounding muffled by the thick glass.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" Filia screamed. "PERVERT!!" She hit the shutters with her elbow, roughly closing them.
Xelloss looked sadly at the window, as his flowers wilted sympathetically.
"Maybe she's allergic to daffodils," he reasoned, teleporting away.
Back inside, Filia was brushing her hair, vehemently.
"What does she think this is??" she asked herself, loudly. "A nickel peep- show?? The nerve of stupid mazoku bakas!"
Once her hair began to get TOO brushed and looked curly, she stopped brushing.
"What have I done??" she cried. "I look like a poodle!!!!"
**
Xelloss floated on his back above Filia's house. He pondered his predicament.
"Maybe I should directly try the indirect direct approach," he contemplated. "Which means-" He sat up in midair. "Which means if I make her mad, she'll feel good, and therefore, she'll love me, thus creating good emotions to make me hurt, so I'll feel good too! I'm a genius!"
He phased out and back in inside Filia's shop.
**
Filia sighed and made her way to her shop downstairs. It was almost time to open it, and the customers could get pretty disagreeable if she was late.
The priestess flicked on the lights and set her bag down beside her desk.
She picked up a magazine and sat down on a stool.
"Miss?" a voice wondered.
Filia looked up. "Welcome to Maces and Vases, how many I help-you?" She stared at Xelloss, who was holding up a rather large, and equally valuable pot.
"Yes, you can," he replied. "I just want to know if this vase is breakable?"
Filia gulped. "Yes..it is...why?"
CRASH!!
"Whoops!" Xelloss put a hand to his face, fake-fretting. "Sorry, Fi-chan. I hope that wasn't TOO expensive!"
"WHY YOU!!!" the ryuuzoku shrieked, growling.
"Is this priceless china breakable too?" the priest asked. "Let's see."
CRASH!!
"Aaah! That was one-of-a-kind, you creep!" Filia yelled.
"Was it? My bad!"
Filia had had enough. She tackled Xelloss and began bashing his skull into the floor with her mace.
Xelloss sighed, contentedly. "I knew she'd fall for me."
**
Baka Bonsai:
NoV: Ta-DA!!
Xelloss: That was one of the top five on my sickening list.
Gourry: You have a sickening list? Neat!!
Zelgadis: Gourry. Nobody says neat anymore.
NoV: I say it all the time.
Zelgadis: Well, it isn't commonly used in conversations anymore.
NoV: Yes, it is.
Zelgadis: It isn't.
NoV: It IS.
Zelgadis: NO!!
NoV: YES!!
Zelgadis: Grrr..
NoV: Grrr..
Bishounen: Nova-chan, I wanna have a room, too.
NoV: Alrighty, I'm taking votes for the next two days. Whichever room gets the most votes is the forever-more room we broadcast from.
#1: Kawaii Konversations: NoV's room, old school. Filled with NoV's recollections, clothes, and stuffed animals.
#2: Gloomy Gossip: Zelgadis' room. Dark, dank, and Rezo-hatred shrine. Filled with Rezo dart boards, empty Sobes, and three hundred coffee makers.
#3: Macey Placey: Filia's room, mace central. Filled with Filia's mace collection, ripped picture of Xelloss, and framed pictures of Valgaav.
#4: Bishy Bedroom: Bishounen's room, glomp-dom. Filled with cuddly bunnies, ice cream, and rainbows.
#5: Firey Fortress: Lina's room, dragon slave kingdom. Filled with flaming candles, fire-painted walls, and-Gourry photos??
#6: Hentai Hullabaloo: Xelloss' room, under construction for the better. Soon will be filled with black holes, black lights, and blackNESS.
#7: Baka Bonsai: Gourry's room, food. Filled with food, food, and...erm, food.
#8: Dragon's Dungeon: Gaav's room, Mary-ou chambers. Filled with Xelloss dart boards, Phibby dart boards, and really big trench coats.
#9: Horny Heavens: Valgaav's room, ignore the horn pun. Filled with cherries, fairies, and sunscreeen.
#10: Cutie Corner: Phibby's room, evil kawaii-ness. Filled with plush things, world take-over plans, and chocolate.
NoV: So, vote for your favorite and hope that it wins! If I forgot your favey character, no worries! Send me the character and I'll make 'em a room, if they get the most votes!