A.N: I got this idea while listening to the song "Let me go" by Three Doors Down, so I decided to name the one shot after it.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Let Me Go
Annie Leonhardt was a lone wolf who hated people, but there were also times when she hated herself even more, like now. She lied down on the ground next to the camp fire, looking at the stars, hearing Armin's calm breathing from beside her. Looking at the taller blond she noticed he was already asleep. How could someone fall asleep so easily? She was never able to do so... well, unlike her Armin probably didn't have anything on his conscience. Tears started to slowly fall down her cheeks as she sighed, knowing that this wouldn't last.
Three weeks earlier:
Annie was doing pushups with Mikasa before dinner. The other girls had stopped as soon as they were given the permission to do so, but these two were still going, for both of them wanted to prove that she was the strongest girl in the squad. Or that's what most people tough but some, Eren Jaeger for example, could tell that those two didn't care about beating the other girls but just each other. For some reason they just didn't get along.
"Will you two drop it already? Dinner's about to start and if we don't go soon Sasha's gonna eat everything" Eren complained. Annie glared at the ground, not being able to turn her attention to Eren from what she was doing. She was starting to get tired; she'd collapse soon. It's not like she was weak or didn't have stamina; the problem was that Mikasa seemed to have both strength and stamina a bit more than her. She did know that the taller girl was starting to get tired as well tough; if she was lucky Mikasa just might collapse before her. However, she didn't. Annie's stamina was slightly weaker and she collapsed. Mikasa, seeing that she had won, elegantly stood back up, accepting the support from Eren who muttered: "Finally, now let's go get some dinner."
They were almost gone when Eren stopped, calling over his shoulder: "You okay Annie?"
Annie, who was now sitting up and was trying to catch her breath only nodded, not needing his help or even less, his pity.
"Alright, we'll see you at dinner" Eren called before continuing his walk with Mikasa. Sighing, Annie lay down on the ground, exhausted. Everyone was already making their way to dinner, so no one was aro-
"Annie? Are you alright?" Well, almost no one. Annie frowned, sitting up and seeing no one else than Armin Arlert, the boy who always followed Eren and Mikasa around like a lost puppy. She thought that it was a bit pathetic, but other than that Armin was okay in her books. Why wouldn't he be? He was always polite, kind and always tried hard to keep up with the others despite being so weak. She'd also noticed that even though the boy was weak, he was a natural strategist and negotiator. It seemed that he didn't understand that himself tough.
"I'm fine" she said, getting up while wondering where the boy had been. Everyone else had gone to dinner already after all; she had been so sure she was the only one still outside.
"Good" Armin said "It'd be bad if you got dehydration."
Annie agreed; that'd be bad. She never got sick, but she'd had dehydration once because she'd been too stubborn to stop her training for a while to get something to drink. She didn't say anything to Armin tough, just started to walk towards the dining hall with Armin right behind her. They parted ways after getting their food and went to sit with their friends. Well, in Annie's case the people she sat with weren't really her friends or anything; this spot had just become her regular seat. She could sit with Reiner and Berthold, even though it was obvious the later had a crush on her, but they had agreed that Annie wouldn't interact with them much in order to keep their connections a secret in case she or they messed up. Besides, at the moment those two were sitting with Eren and the others, which was a no no for her. She couldn't stand Mikasa (which she masked well enough tough) and she didn't like being around Sasha, she was too loud. Eren was okay she supposed, but sometimes he was so dull it got on her nerves. The only one she thought that might be pleasant company was Armin, but like she had realized long time ago he always followed Eren or Mikasa around like a lost puppy. So no, she'd much rather sit here.
XXXXX
The next day Annie walked around before lunch, having an hour to kill before they'd let anyone in to the mess hall. In reality it was time for combat training, but that wasn't really Annie's thing. She was good at it, yes, but she thought it was a real waste of time. While successfully avoiding the head instructor's eyes she watched the others, enjoying their stupidity. At times like these she was grateful for it tough; if they weren't so stupid the instructor would spot the real slackers like herself even easier. She saw Sasha and Connie fooling around as usual, Marco and Jean acting like they were doing some serious training while in reality their over acting made it clear they were goofing around and Eren teaching Thomas a few moves, which was surprising since the brunet was usually with Mikasa or Reiner. Looking around she spotted the said two together and it looked like Reiner was her personal punching bag.
"He probably angered her somehow" Annie realized. Unlike her, Mikasa didn't usually go that far. She searched for Berthold, finding him a little further away with Hannah, which clearly annoyed Franz who was very close to them with Dazz.
"Annie, the instructor!" Eren whispered to her, making Annie throw the first person she got the hold of to the ground, and it just happened to be Armin who'd been training with Mina. The instructor glanced at them but said nothing, pleased that at least someone was taking this seriously.
"Wha- what? Annie?" Armin questioned, trying to overcome the shock of being thrown around by someone else than his sparring partner out of nowhere. The fact that it was done by a girl who was shorter than him by head really hurt his pride, too.
"At least it wasn't Christa; that would've been embarrassing" he thought, thanking Mina as she helped him up.
"Hey Annie" Reiner called out, coming over to them with Mikasa "What's the big deal; throwing Little Armin around like that?"
Armin frowned; he wasn't that short. Plus, he could handle this on his own.
"The instructor was coming" Annie simply said, which cleared things up enough for Armin. Mikasa however, wasn't satisfied.
"If you'd actually do something instead of sneaking around the instructor's presence wouldn't be a problem" Mikasa pointed out. Annie glared at her, but both she and Mikasa's glares soon turned to Connie who called out: "Catfight!"
"Connie's just joking" Armin said in hurry as he noticed how Annie seemed to consider a little spar, or more like one sided beating, between her and Connie "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by that."
Annie cooled down a bit, or at least that's what it looked like since she didn't go to strangle Connie. Instead she continued sneaking around while avoiding the instructor. Armin sighed in relief, knowing that Annie could be dangerous when she was mad since she was, after all, able to take down guy like Reiner rather easily.
"Can we continue now?" Mina asked "If the instructor sees us..."
"Right" Armin said, getting in to a fighting stance "Let's continue."
XXXXX
When Annie was finished with her dinner, she went to get some fresh air only to find Armin hitting a tree repeatedly. Sweat ran down his body, and he looked like he was about to collapse. Now that she thought about it, she didn't remember seeing him at dinner at all and judging from the amount of sweat, he'd been here quite a while. And just then the boy's legs gave out. Annie raised an eyebrow as he first fell on his knees and then flat on his face. She stared for a moment longer, but Armin didn't get up. Annie cursed, having thought that he was smarter than that. It was only yesterday that he had warned her of dehydration, and now he himself clearly had it. She thought of her options. She could just leave him there; it wasn't really any of her business. She could also go tell his friends and let them take care of it... no, she couldn't do that. She was Annie, she was cold. Everyone thought so and that's the way it needed to be. She couldn't let anyone see the soft side of her, not that such a thing existed in the first place. Sighing, she settled on helping the taller blond herself, but with intentions of making it clear to him that if anyone ever found out he was as good as dead. Walking over to Armin she turned him over, checking his pulse. Nothing wrong with it; she'd been right about the dehydration. She lifted him up in to a position that resembled a piggyback ride, it wasn't that easy to carry a guy head taller than her, and took him to the boys' cabin. After dumping Armin on the bed she thought was his she got some water, bluntly dumping some of it on his face. It woke him up, so it worked.
"Wha-what?" he said as he slipped back to consciousness "Where-"
Before he could finish Annie shoved the canteen in front of his face, saying sternly: "Drink it."
Armin didn't protest, for he was thirsty and Annie's tone definitely didn't leave any room for protests. He took the canteen, drinking the water slowly; feeling nervous as Annie's gaze never left him.
"Thank you" he said after finishing "Uh... Annie?"
"What?" she asked, her tone as cold as always. For a moment Armin hesitated; somewhat intimidated by the woman. Swallowing his fears, he asked: "What happened?"
"You passed out from dehydration while trying to beat up a tree" Annie said, making Armin blush. The way she said it made it sound like she mocked him; especially about the dehydration –part. He had warned her about it just yesterday and now it happened to him. Could things get more embarrassing?
"How did I get here?"
"I carried you" yes, yes it could. He hoped no one saw "Tell anyone and I swear you'll hope that you would've died of dehydration today."
Armin blinked, asking: "Why?"
"Because I say so" Annie said without even blinking an eye. They stared at each other for a while before Armin said: "Annie, you're actually a really good person, aren't you?"
Annie's eyes widened. There weren't many things that caught her off guard, but this sure did. Good person? Her?
"You're shy too, which is why you don't want anyone to know that you helped" Armin said, making Annie narrow her eyes, but he ignored it "I don't know what you're afraid of, but you're clearly just pretending to be cold and uncaring."
"You don't know me" Annie spat, starting to get annoyed. What right did he have to analyze her like this?
"True, I don't" Armin said. He sensed her anger, but refused to back down now "Because you're too afraid to let anyone know you."
"You have no idea what you're talking about" Annie said, starting to lose her cool. Right now she looked really intimidating in Armin's eyes, which might partly be because he was still sitting down unlike Annie who was standing "So drop it."
"Annie-"
"I said drop it" she hissed, slamming her hands against the wall on both sides of Armin's head "You don't know a thing about me."
Armin screwed up, and he knew it. Annie looked angrier than ever; like she was ready to kill. For a moment he actually thought he wouldn't see the next day.
"Armin, you in here!?" Connie called out, slamming the door open. At the moment Armin didn't know if he should be relieved or terrified. Connie had angered Annie earlier; things might not end up so well "Eren told me to say that- huh? What the hell are you two doing?"
Annie, not wanting to continue this in front of Connie, got up and walked to the door. Before leaving she said: "Remember Armin: not a word."
After the door was slammed shut Connie looked at Armin for explanation, but the blond just sighed.
"Dude, what happened?" he asked.
"It was nothing; don't tell anyone you saw her here, okay?" Armin answered. Connie frowned, asking: "Was she trying to force herself on you?"
"What?" Armin asked. When he realized what their position might've looked like to Connie he screamed: "No, it was nothing like that!"
"You sure?"
"Yes!" Armin yelled "What were you saying again when you came?"
"Oh, right" Connie said "Eren told me to ask you if you were going to eat dinner at all... and we're all sorry about what we said at lunch, Armin."
The others had joked about how he had gotten beat up by a girl and how he was girly at lunch... nothing new in that, but this time he'd just snapped. He wasn't angry anymore, tough.
"It's okay" Armin said. He had too much in his mind to eat tough "But I'll skip dinner today"
XXXXX
It had been few weeks since Annie had snapped at Armin. At first it had seemed like he was avoiding her, which was just fine with the shorter blond, but then he started to talk to her more than ever. It was just little things, like asking if she needed water or a towel, saying hi to her every time she passed by etc. Once Armin had even asked Annie to come sit with him and the others at lunch, but the look she had given him back then had been enough to stop him from asking again. All this was starting to get on her nerves tough; it needed to come to an end. She wasn't kind to anyone and she didn't want anyone bother to be kind to her, either. For once luck seemed to be on her side as the head instructor told everyone that they would go camping in pairs for the next three days in to the woods with no equipment at all, saying that they needed to learn to use instinct to survive. Every pair had to leave in half an hour. Annie let a small smirk make its way to her face; she'd find out what Armin wanted from her in these three days.
As soon as they were told to go find pairs Annie walked over to Eren and Armin, taking the shorter one by his collar.
"You're coming with me"
It was not a question, suggestion or even a bold statement; it was an order.
"Annie-"Annie's glare cut Eren off. Even he didn't have the guts to say anything against her.
"Let's go" she said, half dragging Armin after her since the blonde's pace wasn't fast enough. They were deep in the woods and had been walking for hours when Armin said: "Annie?"
"What?"
"Is there something you want from me?" Armin asked. The girl stopped, making him wonder if he shouldn't have been so blunt... but if he had waited any longer he probably wouldn't have had the guts to ask at all. Biting his lip nervously, Armin waited for Annie's answer.
"Why do you keep talking to me?" Annie asked, catching Armin off guard. She turned around, continuing: "Why don't you ever yell at me? Why don't you ever get mad? Why don't you ever get bored in trying to talk to me?"
Annie's voice had gotten louder by every word, but her next question was quiet: "Why do you keep being so nice?"
Annoying. Annie had meant to say annoying, but somehow had ended up saying nice. She hadn't meant to tell the truth; she was supposed to hurt Armin's feelings so that he'd stop being nice to her, but no. She messed up.
"...why shouldn't I be nice to you?" Armin asked, shocked that someone would ask a thing like that. Was it so new to Annie that someone was nice to her?
"Because I don't deserve it" Annie said through gritted teeth. During this whole time she hadn't taken her eyes off of Armin's "I don't deserve anyone's kindness. Not yours, not Eren's or not Krista's. Not anyone's."
Armin sighed, saying: "Pardon my language, but that's bullshit and you know it" this surprised Annie. Since when did Armin know how to curse? "I know that you try to hide it, but you're actually a good and kind person."
"No, I'm not" Annie denied, but for once in his life Armin decided to not back down "Yes you are."
"Am not"
"Are too"
"No"
"Yes"
"You're wrong"
"No, you are"
Annie had had enough. With one quick movement she had Armin flying through the air, making him hit the ground.
"Am I still a good person or shall I break few bones from you?" she asked, cracking her knuckles. She was caught off guard again when Armin suddenly started to laugh. Narrowing her eyes, she asked: "What?"
"We're fighting like preschoolers" he said "I wonder how many people know that side of you."
Annie stared at him for a while longer and then, slowly, smile worked its way on her face. She hadn't remembered she had a side like that.
When Armin stopped laughing he got up, asking: "Should we continue?"
"Whatever" Annie said, her usual bored face returning. She now knew that Armin had no ill intentions; he just simply wanted to "be her friend." As much as it bothered her, she had fun the next few days alone with Armin. It was fun to watch him stumble on the rocks as they crossed the river, it was fun to pretend that he had offended her and make him panic about it, only to let him realize later from her smirk that she wasn't serious. It was also fun to just listen him talk about the world outside.
But it was not fun to lie awake next to the campfire alone.
Annie wasn't really alone, Armin was lying next to her, but he was already asleep.
"Why can't you just let go?" she muttered quietly as the tears fell from her eyes "Why do you keep trying to make me your friend? Just let go already."
She sighed, sitting up. She had taken liking to the boy, she saw him as a friend, and that was her mistake. He wouldn't let go unless he knew the truth, and she didn't want to let go either. The thing she'd wanted to avoid the most had happened.
She had found someone she cared about.
"Annie, are you okay?" Armin asked suddenly, startling Annie. When had he woken up? She wiped her tears away, saying: "I'm completely fine."
Armin didn't really believe her. He sat up too, asking: "Annie, what's wrong?"
"Nothing"
"Annie, don't lie to me" Armin knew that pressing her like this probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but he wanted to know so badly. He couldn't help her if he didn't know what was wrong.
"You need to stop that" she said "Stop being so kind to me; it won't end well for neither of us."
"How do you know?" Armin asked "You can't know these kinds of things beforehand."
"Yes I can, so let go while you still can" Annie locked eyes with him, finishing: "Or I will end up hurting you, and badly."
"I'll take that risk, then" Armin said without a moment of hesitation. Annie stared at him, unimpressed. She had feared he'd say that "It's your funeral."
"It can't be that bad" Armin said with a chuckle, but his smile faded as he saw how serious Annie looked.
"...even if it is that bad, I'm still taking the risk" he said, making Annie sigh "Don't say I didn't warn you."
"I won't" they sat in silence again. Annie, tough knowing it was unlikely, still hoped that Armin would drop it, that he'd let go. The longer he'd try being her friend the more her betrayal would hurt.
"Unless he dies at the hands of the titans first" Annie thought with a sigh. Glancing at Armin, she realized that that would be the worst case scenario. He had become important to her; she didn't want him to die.
"Armin"
"Yes?"
"Thank you" is what Annie settled on. She'd have to betray him later, but right now she would concentrate on grating happy memories despite knowing how much they would hurt them both later.
Because just like Armin, Annie wasn't able to let go.
A.N: How come I always manage to make Annie more or less OOC?