Title: Charm Bracelet
Spoilers: 807;Goodbye & Goodluck (but really, who hasn't watched that episode?)
Rating: K
Disclaimer: If I owned CSI, Sara would have never left. So yeah, I don't own CSI
Beta: GER
Notes: A GSR story that is sadder than the others I usually do. Please R&R :)
Charm Bracelet
The cool, placid mood of the locker room had always calmed Sara down and it was no different this time. Her mind was still spinning slightly, courtesy of the case she had just solved but she ignored it and sat down on the cold steel bench, facing her locker. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a simple gold charm bracelet, complete with five charms dangling from it.
She held her favourite between her thumb and index finger, watching it shine in the dull light. It had never failed to surprise her; it always caught the light so effortlessly, almost magically. She tipped it around, a small smile brushing past her lips as it made the light dance in front of her eyes.
She dropped the charms into her palm and clenched the bracelet hard, feeling it dig into her as she unbuckled her vest; she laid it down on the bench. Fist still clenched over the bracelet, she let her eyes run over her nametag. 'Sidle'. She stared at it till the 'S' swam in her eyes in dizzying circles. Her heart felt heavy, but not as heavy as the tiny bracelet in her hand.
She unclenched her palm and her eyes were immediately drawn to the simplest charm – a 'S' engraved in black onto a golden oval. She squeezed her eyes shut, but that couldn't stop the memories from flooding back.
Six.
"This is for you, my little princess."
"What is it?" A little girl with her brunette hair pulled back into a ponytail asked, before reaching for the little crimson box the man held out for her, soon breaking into a huge smile as she opened it. "Oh wow, thanks, daddy!"
A thin, round-linked bracelet fell onto her smooth hands as she inspected it. "Why are there holes in it, daddy?"
The man laughed kindly. "The links are for charms. Here, I've got one for you," He reached into his pocket, drawing out a small simple charm. "It stands for your name and for 'Smart'. I bet you can think of a dozen more words that start with the letter 'S'." he said as he fixed the charm onto the bracelet.
That little girl called Sara looked on with open-eyed amazement at the charm on her bracelet, before smiling. " 'Sweet' and 'Smile' both start with 'S'. I'll make you a list of words I know that start with an 'S'. Thank you, daddy!" she cried, hugging his waist.
Beaming, he pulled her up into the air, swinging her around. "You're welcome, my sweet little girl."
Nine days later, that very same man was slumped in a scarlet pool of blood, brutally stabbed to death by his own wife.
Little Sara was devastated; yet her mother herself had suffered so much in the hands of her father. Even at that young age, 'an eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind' meant something to her.
Her charm bracelet was kept in her little jewellery box, along with the list of words her father never got to read.
Ten.
"Sara!" A shrill voice rang out through the little school playground, belonging to an angelic girl with big blue eyes and golden curls. A girl with porcelain skin and dark hair turned around to the direction of the voice, book dangling from her hand.
"Blair!" Sara felt her lips curl into a smile as she saw her best friend running towards her, laughing at the way her hair flew into her face. They had formed an unlikely friendship; Blair Decan was a little princess, apple of her parents' eye while Sara was the child in foster care, her only possession a jewellery box, a charm bracelet and a list. They had bonded over their mutual love for books and have been inseparable since 2nd grade.
"Close your eyes," Blair instructed, slightly out of breath. Sara dutifully followed and felt two warm hands clamp her wrist. A few seconds later, Blair's voice rang out another command.
"You can open them now!" Her voice was laced with excitement and laughter.
She did, and stared. Her lonely 'S' charm now had a friend, in the form of a piece of chocolate cake. It had a tiny strawberry and whipped cream on it, finished off with gold detail.
"Blair! I don't want a gift!" she said, laughing at Blair's puzzled face. "It's really pretty though," she added as an afterthought, looking at it closely now.
"I got it for you anyway, so keep it! You can lend me that book though," She flashed Sara a quick smile and grabbed her hand, running into the school hand-in-hand as the piercing bell rang over their heads, signaling the start of the day.
Sara entered the classroom for homeroom after keeping coming back from the toilet. She walked in, and noticed a huge group of students were gathered around Blair's desk.
She went closer, and to her surprise, a huge cake was set on top of her desk. The cake was chillingly similar to the charm Blair had given her earlier that day, chocolate with strawberries and whipped cream topping it. Her classmates all had slices of cake in their hands, eating like there was no tomorrow. She felt her stomach plunge; it looked exactly like her charm.
"Sara, have some cake." Miss Boscardin called out kindly, handing her a plate.
She politely declined, and looked right into Blair's eyes. She gave Sara a small sad smile and opened her mouth to say something but was cut out by the shrill end-of-day bell.
A rush of bodies and laughter passed Sara as her classmates ran out the door, leaving her, Blair and a slice of cake between them in the almost deathly silence.
"What's happening?" Sara asked, throat feeling like cotton wool.
"I'm moving to Canada tomorrow, my dad needs to work there…"
"Oh."
"I'm sorry Sara, I didn't want to make you upset. That's why I gave you that charm – this piece of cake lasts around a minute but the charm will last forever."
Blair gave her a tentative smile, and Sara rushed forward to hug Blair, tears streaming down both of their faces. They stayed that way until Mrs. Decan came in and took Blair's hand and lead her towards the car, leaving Sara alone for the second time in her short life.
Fifteen.
"Sara, can I see you for a moment please?"
A low murmuring ran through the class like mist on a cold day as the other students cleared out. Sara paused by the doorway, feeling the rest of her classmates pour out the doors. The books in her arms were heavy but strangely comforting as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ears as she felt her bracelet dance across her wrist.
She turned around, eyes bright. "Yes, Mr. Mackley?"
Her science teacher was her favourite; he never failed to make classes exciting and informative, unlike many of her teachers. It was as though he had that special touch. She was the youngest in this AP class, and she knew she was his favourite, as did everyone else.
"Happy birthday," he said, handing her a small cloth bag. Her eyes grew wide, she was stunned speechless.
"You shouldn't have, I'm not - "
"You earned it Sara." He stated simply before giving her a smile.
With slightly trembling fingers, she pulled the drawstrings on the bag and tipped out its contents onto her palm. A tiny deep crimson teacup fell out, contrasting beautifully against her pale palm. The charm caught her breath as she stared at it unblinkingly.
Mr. Mackley mistook that as a good thing and started speaking. "One of Queen Elizabeth's tutors when she was a young girl said this: 'If you pour much drink at once into a goblet, the most part will dash out and run over. If you pour softly, you may fill it to the top, and so Her Grace, I doubt not, by little and little may be increased in learning.' "
Sara took in his words; the shock was starting to wear off. He reached down, taking the charm from her hand and clipped it onto her bracelet effortlessly.
"Learn slowly Sara, and you will be able to have anything you want. You are my best student, in all my years of teaching. This cup must be filed slowly," He said, signaling to the charm.
And with those words and a final smile, he left, leaving Sara with a heavier charm bracelet and dread growing at the pit of her stomach. She was never a superstitious person, but she didn't believe in coincidence either.
That next day, Mr. Mackley was at school. And the next. And the next. Sara was starting to relax when on one normal Tuesday lesson, he didn't show. Some said he moved to South Carolina. Other said he resigned because he was made to. In the end, no one really knew why Mr. Mackley left, except Sara Sidle.
She knew it had something to do with her charm bracelet.
Sara exhaled loudly, breath echoing around the lockers. Trips down memory lane were never her favourite, even if it was all in her mind. All of the charms looked so innocent, even in this dim light. The other two charms however, were glittering in the darkness like something more sinister.
She shook her head, blurring the evil shine and got up to open her locker, taking out a piece of paper and pen in the process. She set it down on the bench, contemplating on how to start. She glanced up, catching another glimpse at her bracelet. She never got rid of it, no matter how 'unlucky' it was as it reminded her in a rather grim way of all the things she'd overcome.
The dice just wouldn't stop glittering, and she decided to just stare at it, challenging it to a death glare match. It won evidently as she groaned and ran her fingers over its bumpy face, feeling the rough stones that represented the numbers.
The bejeweled numbers jumped out against the blood red dice like a gambler's lucky dice in a casino. She had bought it for herself, since her charm bracelet had become her 'double-edged sword' as it has the potential to make her or break her. In this case, both ways – she had bought it over four months ago, and two weeks after that Natalie Davis stuck. her under a car in the middle of the desert. But she had survived, and didn't know what to think of this bracelet Tears pricked at her eyes, but she kept it in. That however, didn't stop her mind from flashing back.
Thirty-seven.
"Instead of an engagement ring Sara. I know I'm not the most traditional person, but I wanted you to have something that. I noticed your bracelet on your bedside table, and I thought it would be perfect."
The diamond that was set in gold was big, at least three karats, reflecting light everywhere. It hung on a delicate clasp, a simple diamond charm. Sara's head swam, alternating between the charm, Grissom's happy face and her past memories.
"Thanks," she replied, trying to stop her swimming vision, giving him a weak smile.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Grissom's voice rang out, so far away.
She shook her head, making things spin even more. 'Bad idea,' she thought to herself as she felt the ground move and felt herself lose balance.
She felt him catch her before she fell, and he drew her close in a hug. That was when he vision snapped back and the tears started to fall from her chocolate eyes as she realised what she would have to do.
That happened a week ago, and Sara blamed that 'episode' on stress. She knew she had to leave, for Grissom's sake. The charm had proved itself too many times for her to ignore it, even though she knew it was stupid, she was a scientist! But she gave it much thought, and knew she had to leave. Maybe in the process she would finally be able to bury that, bury her memories, bury her ghosts.
The flashbacks had given her valuable insight, and she picked up the pen to start writing, not even trying to stop her tears from flowing down her porcelain cheeks.
Gil, you know I love you. I've always loved you.