*I don't own Harry Potter, If i did Sirius, Remus, and everyone else would still be alive and in Harry's life!*
A/N: Alright I have been inspired by so many authors about Harry Potter that I have decided to make one of my own…. I have always been a HP fan and it's sad that it has ended…. And I know that this kind of fic has probably been done lot of times. But I wanted to make fic about Sirius and Remus...(Friendship...Sorry SiriusxRemus fangirls...But i will NEVER write anything like that)
I hope some of you DC, and TMNT fangirls are HP fans like me? I hope you guys are still with me!
P.S. As I have said before I don't care that Sirius or Remus, Peter, and James maybe OOC, Just like with Bruce i want to show their sensitive sides, more with Sirius! Cuz he's my first fav marauder! Leave a review! Feed the starving author once more!
Also I truly apologize if this story does not make any since or is too confusing, or is rushed, or is a run-on...But i tried my best to write for the HP world...
I don't know where I am going with this, but review! Tell me if this was worth all the numbness my butt felt for hours! I need to know how I did on my first HP story! Please REVIEW! XD
Can I ever be Forgive?
I was not in a good mood today, I wasn't angry at anybody in particular, more at myself really. When I told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow two months ago, It wasn't my intention to get him killed, No.. I'm not like that, I'm NOT like my family. I only wanted to scare him, so that way he would stop bothering not only me, but also my friends. Course at the time I didn't think of what the consequences would bring. Now Remus, one of my best friends isn't speaking to me... It's my fault, I know that, I was the one who screwed up, no one else but me...
I lay on the grass next to the beech tree near the lake, just a peaceful Wednesday morning. My eyes closed and lost in my own thoughts to pay any attention to the things going on around me. James is talking, but I'm too caught up in my thoughts to listen to what he's saying. It's only after a couple of minutes-
"- Then me and the Giant Squid danced until dawn under its underwater kingdom"
"What?" I asked completely confused, as I opened my eyes
"Ha! Gotcha Padfoot" he said grinning
"Very funny Prongs" I said dully
"What's wrong Sirius?" Peter asked noticing the tone in my voice
I sighed. But I didn't answer right away, after a few minutes I said- "Remus hates me"
"No he doesn't, He's just-"
"-Not speaking to me, which is even worse" I said sitting up, looking from James to Peter.
"Don't worry Pads, he'll come round!" James said slapping me on the back
"When? Look how long it took you guys to start talking to me again, let alone even being near me" I asked furiously, at the time it took James and Peter a month before they would speak to me.
"Yes, but Remus is the most affected by all that's happened, you know" Peter answered as he lowered his head,
I opened my mouth, then closed it, he was right.
"Hey look! There he is!" James announced, pointing to Remus as he walked across the grounds.
Peter cupped his hands over his mouth and called "Hey! Remus!". Remus in turn saw Peter and James, then took a step forward, but retreated when he saw me. He gave me a hurtful looking stare, turned around and walked away.
I stared after him, bowing my head.
"See what I mean" I told my friends
"Yeah…." James muttered looking sad
"I think…. Either me or you James should go talk to him" Peter said
I turned to Peter, shocked "No! I don't want him to be mad at you guys too" I protested
"Yeah. Let's do that Wormtail" James said completely ignoring me
"But Prongs-" I began, wanting to in some way talk them out of it, it's bad enough Remus isn't speaking to me. If he stops talking to James and Peter then he'll be all alone. Like he was before he met us.
When we first figured out his secret, Remus hesitantly admitted to us that he was always alone (him being a werewolf and all) before he came to Hogwarts, when we became his friends he said that he never wanted to feel that loneliness never again. We promised him he wouldn't.
"-Calm down Padfoot, Everything will be fine!" he said cheerfully as he gave me one of his goofy grins.
I sighed "Alright…"
...
...
I came out of Professor Flitwicks's classroom, more upset than I was an hour ago. I have been doing horrible in most of my classes. Every class I had was with Remus, I can never concentrate, because either he sits right next to me or facing me.
As the class ended Flitwick held me back. He asked me if anything was wrong, I gave the usual response and said that I was fine. I'd thought he believed me, I realized I was wrong when he said as I got up from my desk-
"I have noticed for the past two months that you and Mr. Lupin have not been talking the way you usually do, Is everything alright between the pair of you?" he asked in his high-pitched voice. Again I said that everything was fine and made a quick run to the door.
Coming out I looked up and saw Wormtail coming towards me- "Did you talk to Remus?" I asked when he reached me.
"Oh I talk to him….." he said as he began walking again
"And?" I pressed
"And he wouldn't listen…. Said that he had other things to worry about" Peter said sadly
I looked at the ground. Feeling hurt, and disappointed. "Oh..."
"Sorry" Wormtail squeaked out
"You did your best" I said trying to reassure him
He gave a slight nod and then we walked to go to the Great Hall. When we arrived, Wormtail and I heard two people talking loudly. We both recognized who they were immediately.
"Please Prongs! I don't want to talk!" we heard Remus say
"Well how about this; I talk and you listen" James said
We found James standing over Remus as he sat at the Gryffindor Table his homework on the table, forgotten.
"Please James!" Remus begged
"I know what he did was very very wrong…. But can't you see how sorry he is? Can't you just talk to him?" James asked desperately
"Your one to talk, look at how long it took you to talk to him" Remus said harshly glaring at James.
"Yeah, but at least I am talking to him now" James said tiredly
"He's our best mate; He was the one who told you that we would always be here for you and your problem" he said saying 'problem' quietly.
Remus opened his mouth, and then closed it, lowering his head, apparently at a loss for words.
People were staring at them, muttering to each other, probably wondering who they were talking about. I wished they would stop, why did Prongs have to start something here? Where are the damn Prefects and Teachers when you really wanted or needed them around?
James looked around realizing that he was causing a scene, he stiffened little.
"Prongs…. Please" Remus begged again lifting his head up, his eyes found mine and watched me for a moment then grew slightly wide as if he saw something that completely shocked him. I realized what had when my vision became misty. I blinked rapidly, I was crying? Really? I hardly ever cry...(Well not in public or in front James, Peter and... Remus before the prank.) But it was true... It absolutely shocked me.
I hadn't noticed, I was too wrapped up into what James and Remus were saying.
James turned his head toward me, his eyes turning guilty. I turned my head and saw that everyone was staring at me, like I was some kind of brand new item in one of the windows in Hogsmeade.
Merlin's beard! Paint a portrait of me, it'll last longer!
It's not like it was their first time seeing someone cry before! I guess... it's because no one at Hogwarts has ever seen me cry before.
Immediately I became very embarrassed, then I heard-
"Really cousin? You're a Black and you're showing weakness! You're a pathetic, useless, embarrassment to the Black family legacy!"
Feeling suddenly angry I whipped my head to my left and saw Bellatrix, my tears spilled over, but I glared at my cousin nonetheless.
"Ohhhhh! Did I hit a nerve there cousin? Oh No! Run everyone! My pathetic cousin is angry! RUN!" she shrieked sarcastically
Like clockwork all the Slytherins students starting laughing, then some Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs. Really? I can expect this from the Slytherins, but not at all from the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. All my anger melt away when everyone started laughing, like I was some kind of freak that was putting on a show for their entertainment, like any second I would be pelted with food. My throat became horribly tight. I took a step back, then another, and bolted from the Great Hall.
I could hear James and Peter calling out to me; I thought for a moment that I had heard Remus as well. I scoffed a little at that thought. I ran and kept running, when my feet hit the muddy grass I knew that I was somewhere in the grounds, but at the moment I couldn't care less. I just needed to get away…away from the laughter of all the students.
How can people be that way? So cruel as to laugh at other people's pain? Couldn't they see that the reason I was upset was because that my best mate is never going to speak to me again? And not just because I was being weak?
I collapsed onto the ground, taking huge gulps of air to fill my burning lungs. But it seemed that the more air I breathed in, the worse the burning in my chest became. I put my right hand to my chest and squeezed, trying to lessen the burning sensation. My left hand touched something hard and rough... I looked up and saw that I was at the beech tree again?
Had I really gone that far? I then noticed something else, it was dark outside. That came as a shock to me. How long was I actually here for? When I bolted from the Great Hall it was still light outside.
It seemed like I just got here. I slowly got up and began making the long way back to the castle. I took my time though, not really wanting to go back to Gryffindor Tower and face...everyone, to face them. I had just reached the Stone Circle, when I heard-
"I was wondering how long you were going to stay by that tree and mull in self pity…"
It was dark, my back was turned, but I didn't need to see the person to know who it was. "Leave me alone Snape…"
"Is my ickle cousin still showing weakness? How pathetic!"
I turned toward where Bellatrix's voice was. "What do you two want anyway!?"
"Well I think it's quite obvious, by showing weakness you have dishonored our family, so I am here to put an end to you and your embarrassing being" she laughed loudly
"And I am here….Because you almost got me killed, Black!" Snape snarled as I heard him and Bellatrix draw their wands.
Slowly I pulled out mine; two against one….this should be fun, for them…..
"Expelliarmus!" Snape shouted
"Stupefy!" I said loudly dodging to my left
"Stupefy!" he bellowed
Crap! That knocked me off my feet, getting up quickly I noticed….That Bellatrix was gone! I looked around but all I could see was Snape's silhouette. Get it together Padfoot!
Then out of nowhere, she had me in a choke hold, and I felt her put the tip of her wand up against my back.
"Heh…Pathetic" she snarled into my ear. "Crucio!"
I let out the most blood curdling scream I have ever made in my life. You think I'd be used to it after all the times my father has used it on me. But I have never had it used on me that close before.
She let me go and I fell onto my stomach. The burning sensation was throughout my entire body now. I couldn't move, or do anything when Snape approached me.
"Oooh revenge is sweet!" I heard him snarl then-"Sectumsempra!"
I screamed again, it was like a thousand knifes just tore through my body. Knocking me on my back, I could feel liquid flowing down my body, and realized it was my blood. I coughed rapidly, spitting up blood as I do so, just trying to clear my lungs so that I could breathe.
"Well I think we're done playing with him, Snape! Leave!" I heard Bellatrix bark at Snape
Great, family bonding…. I thought weakly, hearing Snape walk away, leaving me and Bellatrix alone.
"So I think I should put an end to your pathetic misery" she says pointing her wand at my face
Is that her favorite word or something? I closed my eyes. I'm so tried, I just want this unbearable pain, my thoughts, my cousin crazy scary laughter, all of that and everything else to just...stop.
But my thoughts keep going, keep remembering my friends: Prongs, Wormtail, Moony.
I gulped, tasting iron; Moony…..Remus….
I have never felt so much guilt in my life. Everything that was happening right now is my fault; I deserve what is about to happen to me, and more. I have been such a lousy friend, I had promised to Remus that he could always count on us to never betray him, And what did I do? I went and did the very thing that I said I wouldn't do. I turned around and stabbed the most helpful, responsible, caring, giving person I have ever met in the back. I just wished I could apologize to Remus one more time…I'm going to die knowing that my best friend hates me...
I wheezed causing blood to pour from the corner of my mouth.
"Avada-!"
"Expelliarmus!" I heard a muffled voice yell
I started to lose conciseness from the loss of blood. "Who dares-!?" Bellatrix began but couldn't finish as I heard someone shout-
"Stupefy!"
I felt someone carefully pick me up with one arm. I flinched painfully and tried to pull away from their grip. But found I had no strength left in me, so I ended up laying my head on the shoulder of whoever was holding me. I gave another blood filled cough.
Then I passed out…..
A/N: sorry it's so short and if it doesn't make ANY sense whatsoever! I'll see you guys in the next chapter! Or not deplaned ing if this is even worth continuing.
PLEASE REVIEW!
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