But I'm only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

And I crash and I break down

The winter breeze made all my goose bumps stand and I couldn't help but rub my hands all over my arms to cause friction. The village was quieter than the usual today and you could only see people's shadows walking down the street along with you. I cursed myself for leaving work so late; the nighttime never left me at ease. I continued walking down the street trying to get myself to calm down but I couldn't. My head was swarming with thoughts and that's when I heard a thrash on my left side. I immediately pulled a knife out of my pocket (my mom gave me pepper spray but really mom? Those were practically useless) and walked towards where the noise was directed from. I heard low screams and things getting thrown around and I, out of all people, knew that throwing your nose in people's business was never the right thing to do but something just didn't allow me to move forward. Who would cause such chaos at nearly 7pm? The voices grew louder and I stayed put until I could manage what they were saying.

'All you do is talk about her and guess what? I'm tired of that. When will you decide to give me some attention?' She harshly spat at the man standing beside her.

'I told you I'm still not over her, I need time to... adjust.' The voice was muffled and low but I managed to get half of what he was saying. A heated argument at nearly 7pm. How common.

'Then why did you want to start this- this relationship when you don't even commit yourself to it?'

'Because I'm not ready!' His voice was finally clear and loud, but not as loud as the woman standing next to him. I gasped in my place and now my legs truly couldn't move.

Peeta.

My heart was beating rapidly and I knew that this was a bad idea after all, that snooping into other people's business was always wrong. I slowly walked backwards and stepped on a branch, making a loud crunching noise.

'Who's there?' The little woman with a loud voice asked, her voice grew closer and I cursed myself for being so dumb to walk like that as I ran. I heard the screams that were being directed at me but it was too dark for them to notice who I was.

I slowed down once I arrived towards the visitors' village, our side of the city. Snow began to fall and I pulled my jacket closer to my chest, hoping heat would radiate to my body somehow as my mind began swarming with even more thoughts now. Peeta was back, and he apparently had a girlfriend? I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and bit back a scream when I felt someone wrap their large hands on my mouth. Before I could bite the person and scream as loud as possible, I heard laughter coming from my behind and my stiff body relaxed.

'Gale! You terrified me.' I stated, slapping his hand away from me. He kept laughing and I just felt annoyed.

'Hey, I'm sorry. Don't get mad. I just saw you looking so terrified.'

'And what, you decided to terrify me even more?'

He laughed at that and came closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. 'Just wanted to see whether you'll test that spray your mom got you. She handed me a pair as well.'

'You apparently want to get blinded then, Gale.'

'You're so tense, Catnip. Something happened at work?' He asked before stopping me and looking in my eyes. I just sighed and shook my head but he didn't seem convinced whatsoever.

'Just stressed with everything. I have that huge test coming up and with Prim's birthday, I'll need to work extra shifts to get her that new phone she wants.' I sighed and massaged my head. I hated thinking so much. He rubbed my shoulder affectionately before he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my now dry lips.

'I can work a couple shifts and you can buy her the phone.'

'No way Gale. I'm not using your money like that, not in a million years.' He chuckled and began walking again, guiding us towards my house.

'Even when you're practically homeless, scraping bugs away from my yard?' He teased and I half smiled at that.

'I can always get extra shifts. Plus, you never mentioned bees.' He roared in laughter, which echoed in the quiet neighborhood as we approached the house.

xx.

My palms were sweaty and all I wanted right now was for Gale to be siting right next to me, calming me down but unfortunately, he was two years older than I was and he finished his crap before I even knew what this was all about. I was never the type of person to get nervous, just scared. I tapped my foot numerously on the tile floor before I heard a very familiar voice.

'Katniss Everdeen, nervous?' He gasped and held his hands on each side of his cheek, looking like a shocked little kid. I smiled and shook my head.

'Of course not.' I confidently said as he approached the seat next to me and leaned on it, closing his eyes after a few seconds. He didn't change much; he still had platinum blonde hair that toned down a bit, looking way darker than the last time. They can't call him a Barbie girl anymore.

'I didn't know that you came back.' I finally spoke after a long minute of uncomfortable silence. This was nothing I was used to.

'Well I wasn't intending on returning this soon, either. Mom was shocked too but she was happy that she was getting extra help once again at the bakery.' His eyes fluttered open, revealing a chocolate brown colored eye, staring right at you.

'It's been three years, Peeta. I don't think this is what people call soon.'

'You know what my intentions were.' He dully stated and flicked me off, looking elsewhere. I sighed in my seat and I knew what was about to happen next. It always happened.

'And those weren't my intentions. You just... You understood everything wrong.' I stuttered, I was never too good with words and he, out of all people, was well aware of that.

'Really Katniss? What were your intentions then? Enlighten me.' His tone was thick with sarcasm and it made me flinch. He was never the type of person who used sarcasm too often.

'I-I don't know. But you were wrong about everything. Every single thing.'

'Like the fact that you were in love with Gale?' He snapped and I knew that we were standing on a thick thread.

'Peeta-'

'No no, don't try to stop me. In front of everyone, you kissed me and told me romantic crap and just- just made me fall in love with you. I was head over heels for you, Katniss and you did nothing but ruin me. When we were back home, you just ran to some other guy's embrace and he wasn't me. Not your star-crossed lover.' He was still mad about this and after three years, you'd expect him to get over it but that's not Peeta. I sighed and threw my head in my hands before pulling it back up and having eye contact with him.

'You knew that it was just for the show. I saved your life, Peeta.' I reminded him, watching him laugh with no humor whatsoever.

'I thought that you'd actually grow feelings for me. Oh how dumb was I. It was always Gale, wasn't it? A tall, strong man that worked in this huge office? You never liked some short, Barbie haired boy that worked at a bakery. I was naive and dumb thinking differently. And I didn't want my life to be saved, I just wanted you and that's something I never got.' His named got called and he stormed away, without saying a goodbye as the feelings hit me like a fast train.

Did I really hurt him that bad that he decided to leave town because seeing my face caused too much misery? Were the rumors true? I covered my face as I bubbled in emotion, not knowing how to feel. Upset, disappointed, betrayed but the one that stuck the most was guilt.

xx.

'I ran into Peeta today,' I declared as we ate dinner. I dipped my bread in the boiling hot soup as I noticed everyone's attention had moved to me and that's the last thing I needed.

'And?' My mom questioned, forgetting her food at the mention of his name.

'That's it. He's still mad about everything and he's probably going to hold it against me forever.' I sighed as I chewed on my bread, officially soft now. I heard Prim tsk and my attention moved to her. 'What is it?'

'Of course he's still mad, you threw his heart on the ground and basically rubbed him off and chewed him out.' Prim stated, not looking up from her plate.

'Prim!' My mom hissed.

'No mom, I want to hear what she has to say. Elaborate.' I dropped everything in hand and shifted my focus to my little sister.

'You were well aware that he loved you; Katniss and you still did what you did. I was convinced that you actually began replicating the same feelings toward him. I was darn wrong; you didn't care about him as much as you seemed to. You'd be a good actress,' Prim swallowed her piece of bread and then stared into my eyes and I just gulped.

'That's it. Prim, off to your room! You do not go-'

'Mom, let it go. She didn't say anything wrong. And I do care about him, Prim but just, not like that.' I struggled to form proper sentences because I was just so confused. What did she know that I didn't?

'You have a terrible way of showing it. Maybe you shouldn't have acted the way you acted at the games, all lovey dovey. We all would've had a happy ending.' Her final words were said before she left the table, excusing herself and slowly closing the door to her room. I sat the entire night wondering about everything she said. Maybe yes, I had been affectionate during the games but even he knew that it was an act and all I wanted to do was to get us both home safely. I never meant to cause him to fall in love with me but the universe definitely didn't go my way. The next day at work was intense when they declared Peeta as my new partner since we were lovers. (No one knew about the truth, everyone just believed whatever was on TV and up until now, we were still together)

He didn't say anything except if he had questions. I couldn't help but feel bad because i brought this up on him. The whole day moved slower than I pleased but I needed to get my sister that present so the least i could do was try to bond with him again.

'I didn't mean to hurt you that bad,' I blurted out during those first few quiet hours between us both.

He shrugged and didn't even look up to answer. 'You already did.'

xxx.

He doesn't talk to me at work for the first two weeks unless it's completely necessary and even then, he asks other people to avoid talking to me but no one was as good as I was at this job so he'd eventually have to come back to me. Well, he didn't talk to me up until today. He came storming in the store, looking furious as he looked at me with an angry expression. I expected him to scream or shout but all he did was mumbled a couple of words.

'You stole my job.' I smiled at that as I pulled a new batch of bread out the oven, filling the place with the smell of fresh bread. He stared at me with such utter confusion and I just laughed, getting him out of his thoughts.

'Well you kept complaining about just being the boy that works at the bakery so someone had to help your mom.' I explained, stuffing the bread in little bags.

'You stole my job,' He repeated, his voice still thick in shock. 'Why?'

'Did you not hear me five seconds ago? Plus, I need the extra money.' I shrugged it off as if it was simply nothing even though I was dying from exhaustion and I refused to let my 11 year old sister work.

'Katniss, you live in one of the richest neighborhoods in this area.' He stated, pulling a chair and siting down.

'And who's going to pay the rent for that huge expensive house?' I placed my hands on my hips and he looked like a goldfish, closing and opening his mouth with no response.

'That's what I thought.' I spoke with just confidence as I went back to placing the bread in plastic bags.

'Touché Katniss, touché.' And that was probably the first time we ever talked normally around each other in a long time. The whole evening was basically all about him teaching me the best techniques when it came to bread making. He even slipped a couple of stories about him burning the bread and feeling so ashamed to show his mom so he fed them to the pigs. He kept doing that every time he screwed up until his mom caught him and shouted at him so bad, he thought he pissed his pants. He never burned a piece of bread since then. My body vibrated with laughter as I fell into a calm atmosphere. I wasn't thinking about any upcoming tests or how I'm going to buy Prim that present, I didn't think about my job or how much money I needed until I could pay the entire rent. I just didn't think about anything and that made me feel really good.

'Well, I better go. Thank you, for the, you know, techniques and stuff.' I dried my wet hands and approached him, his sleeves were rolled up and his shirt was covered in flower, even dough in some places. His hair looked disheveled but he still looked good, despite his current appearance. He nodded his head and smiled, flashing his beautiful smile that I had missed.

'You learned from the best, try to beat me.' He teased, bumping my shoulder.

'I'll try becoming better than the best. There's always room for improvement.'

'Probably for you but you'll never be as good as the best.' He said and I giggled. That's when everything hit me and a frown appeared on his face. He looked concerned, as if he said something wrong.

'I hope you forgive me someday, for ruining you like that. I never meant that, you're aware of it. My shift is over so tell your mom I said bye and I'll be here earlier tomorrow. Oh and we need more flowers.' I said before entering the car. I was about to slam the door before a hand pulled the door open with force and I bent down to take a look.

'The scar has not fully recovered yet but the first step is to forgive and forget. Do you believe in second chances, Katniss?' He asked, studying my facial expression, making me feel wrong in some places.

'Of course I do.'

'Then this should work well.' He said before I closed the door softly. I closed my eyes and leaned into my chair, hoping I'd be home by the blink of an eye. I watched Peeta wave goodbye and i couldn't help but grin like a fool, replicating the gesture.

Maybe things were finally going on my track.

The bakery was doing so well that they expanded the place and made a pastry section as well. We still lacked employees so Peeta was back in the business but he didn't seem bugged, he seemed happy to be back. I eyed his outfit, he was wearing a red apron with the words 'better than the person who's trying to be better than the best' and I smiled to myself, hoping he wouldn't see me. I ditched a couple of jobs because Sandy (Peeta's mom) paid really well and Peeta would usually slip some money in my pocket, with little notes. I rifled the kitchen, looking for the tray when I heard someone tsk behind me. I turned to be confronted by Peeta, who had a smirk on his face.

'Who loses a tray? I mean, this thing is huge and you can't even seem to find it.' He teased and I shook my head.

'I bet it's behind that apron of yours.'

'Oh?' He remarked, smiling from ear to ear as he approached the counter and sat on a stool chair. He observed the kitchen and sighed. 'I miss working here, a lot more than I expected.'

'You're not digging the whole pastry thing?' I asked as I cleaned my hands with a wet towel, throwing it on the side of the counter before pulling out a stool chair and siting beside him.

'No, it's not that. I love working there, it always smells good but this place holds a lot of memories.'

'Good or bad?'

'A little of both,' he fumbled with his fingers before looking up.

'Tell me.' It sounded more demanding than it was supposed to but he didn't pay much attention to that, he seemed okay with it.

'My dad taught me everything I needed to know and his scent is still hidden behind those ovens. I sometimes imagine him standing there, making fresh pieces of bread and just... standing there. It's stupid, isn't it?' He asked and he looked upset, eyes filled with sorrow and disappointment. He never told me what happened with his dad and after the games; I doubt he'll ever tell me anything but this was an improvement, wasn't it?

'No, of course not.' I reached over and held his hand, which caused him to close his eyes. He caught his breath and didn't say anything, like my touch hurt him. I was about to pull away when he fluttered them open, not as sad as before.

'I'm sorry, about this sob story moment. I-I should really go back to work.' He pulled his hand away and began fumbling with the buttons on his apron, trying to close them. He suddenly seemed nervous and I couldn't understand why.

He was about to leave the room before I spoke up. 'I think about him too, sometimes.'

'Your dad?' He asked, still not turning back. All the memories of him rushed back and I couldn't handle them all at once. My eyes were filled with tears and they slowly dripped down, erupting a sob from somewhere inside me. Peeta was immediately in front of me, rubbing my arm reassuringly and I knew that he was trying to keep his distance because the feelings were too strong but I needed a friend and he was my friend after all. I leaned into his chest and he held me tightly, whispering words in my ears, which I didn't bother, listen to. I felt safe in his embrace and I didn't want to let go. I made a horrible mistake of allowing him to leave last time but not this time.

'Hey, don't cry. I didn't mean to mention him Katniss-'

'He left us around this time last y-year.' My voice cracked and I sobbed harder than I would've preferred. Peeta on the other hand, kept rubbing my back and his grip became a little tighter.

'Shhh, we don't have to talk about it. I'm sorry I brought it up.'

'No,'

'Katniss, I'm having this little gathering tomorrow and I was wondering if you can come? You can get someone with you.' The mood changed in the room due to his question.

I nodded my head. 'Okay,'

xX.

The week passed slowly and before we knew it, it was Peeta's little get together. The place was filled with people from work and old friends from school and it felt like a high school reunion. Most of them didn't even live in the same area anymore, but it was sweet of them for traveling all the way.

'You look beautiful,' a familiar voice said and I turned around to find Peeta in a plain white tee and black jeans. I shyly blushed, hoping he wouldn't notice as I dipped my face downwards.

'Thank you,' was all I could mutter.

'I got it for her.' Gale said and - wait, Gale. I turned around and saw him standing right behind me before he pulled me towards his embrace. I felt nervous, Gale was unaware of the fact that Peeta was back, or at least I never mentioned it to him. I never mentioned the fact that we were partners or that I worked at his mom's bakery. He didn't have to know all that because all Gale would do was argue about it.

'You should start buying clothes for my mom too.' Peeta joked, trying to ease the tension but all Gale did was look annoyed. He obviously didn't want to be here and I never invited him, what was he doing here?

'Oh sir, I've been looking everywhere for you!' A midget looking man panted, pointing at Gale. He placed his hand on his heart afraid it might run away.

'Why's that?' Peeta furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and I felt Gale tense next to me, immediately pushing me away from him in a slow matter.

'He didn't have an invitation, sir. He wasn't even on the list.' The little man exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air to exaggerate.

'I do have one!' Gale angrily spat, but all I could think about was who invited him? Clearly Peeta was clueless and he held the party. And I didn't... Hold on, he wanted me to lie for him? I couldn't possibly do that but I had to.

'I-I invited him. Peeta did mention that I can get a guest.' I stuttered, nervous that I'd mess up and slip.

'I thought you were going to get Prim instead, I didn't see her in a while.' Peeta still sounded confused, not catching on completely. The little man nodded and ran off, not bothering any of us for the rest of the night. 'I'll just go talk to the Andersons. Enjoy the party!'

And with that, he ran off. Gale pulled me towards him, allowing me to face him completely.

'Thank you, babe.' He rubbed my cheek with his thumb, smiling softly at me.

'What for?' I asked, feeling tense and stiff around him now.

'For backing me up.'

'You're going to explain this all to me.' I sighed as he began playing with my hair. Peeta used to play with my hair when I was nervous, or he'd spoon me in bed. I quickly shook my head and pushed those thoughts away. I don't think about him like that anymore.

'Right after this,' he said before leaning in and kissing my lips softly, I hummed at the contact. I couldn't stay mad at him for long but I wasn't going to let him get away with this today.

'Gale,' our foreheads were touching and I could feel his hot breath on my face, sending shivers all over my body.

'Catnip never-clean.'

I giggled shyly before playfully hitting him on the chest. 'That nickname needs to go.'

He only smiled and took my hand, guiding me towards the table filled with food. My stomach growled at the wonderful smell that filled the air and in an instant I knew that Peeta was here a second ago. He used to bake me things all the time, and he made the best pastas in town. I'd always tease him about making his own restaurant and he'd snort loudly, grabbing everyone's attention.

The rest of the night moved swiftly and once the songs began to play a little louder, I found myself walking around Peeta's garden. I'd never been in his house, but once we sat outside, on the exact spot where everyone was dancing with a partner. Gale was dancing with some girl named Rose - whoever she was - and I scoffed at the idea of him asking her. I was about to storm off before I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and the last person I expected to see greeted me.

'Hey, you um, wanna dance?' He scratched his neck and I laughed at how nervous he suddenly got around me. 'I mean, I'm not that good of a dancer, you know that. Or maybe now you do but-'

'I'd love to dance with you, Peeta.' I cut off his nonstop rambling and he paused for a second, as if he couldn't believe I said yes and grinned, extending his hand. The dance floor was congested with people of all ages, even some staff workers were dancing, and it was beautiful how so many people looked happy here. Peeta placed his hands on my waist hesitantly once a slow song began (our luck!) and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His eyes were a little lighter today and he couldn't slap that smile away from his face. I didn't see him this content since...then. He seemed to have forgotten about all that for this one time and it shocked me how he never forgave me on the previous days. Maybe he'd go back to ignoring me tomorrow. My thoughts were slapped shut as soon as I heard someone humming and I looked up to see Peeta with his eyes closed, quietly singing along to the song.

'Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?

Float down

Like autumn leaves

Hush now

Close your eyes before the sleep

And your miles away

And yesterday you were here with me.'

I closed my eyes and sighed, it felt like the song was being directed to me and I wanted to kick myself for being such an idiot and just ruining everything we had. Before the games started, we'd snuggle by the couch in fear of dying in the next 24 hours but he was never a person with negative thoughts swarming around his head, he'd just always find something positive out of every negative situation. He'd kiss me at the games, like he was afraid he'd lose me any second from now. I was afraid, too. But I did it to impress everyone at home and to get supplies, that's how our crossed lovers thing worked, right? Then why did he have to fall for me? And why did I have to ruin such a strong friendship we built over time? Because I was a selfish child, I couldn't decide whom I wanted and I chose Gale. At the time, it seemed like a smart idea but later on, I figured out that I chose Gale because I was so used to his company and we grew up together, so did our siblings. It felt right at the time but right now, everything feels wrong.

'I like this song a lot more than I should. It's just, perfectly written, you know?' He mumbled and I heard his heart palpitating faster than normal, he still got nervous around me.

'Lyrics or tune?' I asked, my voice muffled from his shirt.

'Both, they just remind me of the good memories. I like them better than the bad.' I shut my eyes and leaned on him for support.

'Ooh how I miss you

My symphony places the song that carries you out

Ooh how I miss you

I miss you and I wish you'd stay'

He sang along in a whisper and he was right, the song was beautiful, lyrical and musically. I felt a tear drop down my face before I opened my eyes and whispered, 'me too, Peeta.'

'Hey! Get off of her!' Before I knew it, I was pulled away from his comforting embrace that radiated relaxation and Gale, who looked red due to his anger, confronted me. I shot a glance back at Peeta who looked guilty and sad.

'Dude, I didn't do anything. Calm your balls.' He put his hands up in defense and looked anywhere but at me. I felt my heart sink in my chest.

'You were trying to steal my girlfriend!' Gale roared and the gasps were repeated all over the place. Peeta chuckled humorlessly and nodded his head.

'Yes, that's exactly what I was going to do. You know, ask her to dance then just kidnap her away from the giantess.' He said sarcastically and even though he was joking, a frown appeared on my face. What was he doing? I was too shocked to react and none of them even looked my way.

'You ass!' Gale pushed Peeta's chest, causing him to fall backward a couple steps before regaining his balance and throwing a punch. I gasped in horror. This was not Peeta. He never hit people; he was totally against the bullying thing at school. So what was his dumb idea now? They threw a few punches here and there until I couldn't stand it anymore.

'Hey! Move away from each other.' I screamed, turning everyone's attention towards me. Gale pushed Peeta back by the shirt he was holding and Peeta stumbled on his way to his seat, apologizing as well. Gale was still erupting in anger and I leaned forward, touching his arm lightly before being flicked off because of a dance? The tension in the backyard was palpable but everyone just ignored us and went back to dancing. Peeta was nowhere to be found and I was full of rage. I grabbed Gale's shirt, even after he tried to push me away and guided him towards the water fountain.

'What the hell was that?' I hissed, trying to keep my voice on a normal volume.

'He was all over you, Katniss. If I was a few seconds late then he would've kissed you!' He dramatically exclaimed and I laughed. He was acting like a drama queen, and it just pissed me off even more.

'Oh and as if I was going to let that happen. Gale, I'd never cheat on you,' I approached him and held his hands, looking into his eyes solemnly. His eyes looked guilty and upset but he brushed them off immediately.

'How do I know that?' He asked, and I felt like I was holding a lifeless person's hand. He didn't squeeze back when I did and I sighed in annoyance.

'Because, I like you really really much and I'm not going to let you slip away.' I smiled at him and he nodded his head before letting go of my hands.

'Goodnight, Catnip.' He said before leaving me alone in the middle of a party that I no longer wanted to be at. My head was filled with thoughts and one of the first things that occupied my mind was 'what just happened?'

xXX.

The bakery was quiet for the next month, without a sign of Peeta anywhere around the area. His mom changed the subject every time I brought him up and it felt like déjà vu. What if he ran away again? And it's all her fault once again. All the thoughts were thrown out the window when she saw Gale enter the bakery and his eyes almost popped out when he noticed me standing behind the counter, I gulped because this conversation was very much expected.

'Katniss,' he breathed out and looked around in confusion. 'What are you doing here?'

'Working.' I answered in a harsh tone. He didn't even call since the get together. His mom lied to me every time I came over and said he wasn't there, even though her eyes said something else.

'And how did I just figure out about this?' He sounded mad and he was trying to cover the fact that he was but he was never a good actor.

'Well if you answered my phone calls and actually came downstairs to see me then maybe you would've known!' I snapped at him and he took a step back.

'We have to talk, Katniss. I wanted my space to think and everything,' he shrugged it off like it was nothing and I excused myself to go ask Peeta's mom whether I can go or not but she never said no. I rarely took breaks anyway and she was more than happy that I finally asked.

'Come on,' I told him and he followed my outside the bakery. The bakery was right next to the park so we took a silent stroll in the park before seating ourselves on the bench. The silence was uncomfortable and the air felt tense and wrong.

'About the whole month of no communication-'

'Don't apologize, Gale. I'm not here for you to apologize because I'm still angry at you.'

'And you deserve to be. I was being an ass but seeing you just wasn't on my schedule.' He placed his head in his hands and sighed loudly.

'You could've mentioned the fact that you wanted space.'

'I know, but it's too late to dwell on the past. It's just that- you- I don't think this relationship can go on.' He blurted and I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

'Are you breaking up with me?' My voice cracked and I felt my eyes fill up with tears. What was this all about?

'I'm not going to trap you anymore, Catnip. I'm setting you free.'

'Why? Why are you doing this?' I choked, allowing a few tears to fall over. I was shocked beyond myself, had I done something? Maybe I should've stopped calling and visiting when I got the message. Maybe I shouldn't have lied anyway.

'Remember rose?' At the mention of her name, I felt like screaming but I stayed calm, nodding my head.

'Yeah, from the get together.'

'That's right. Well... I sort of like her and we've been seeing each other for a while but just as frien-'

'You pathetic cheater!' I screamed and that's when I broke. I began kicking, slapping and hitting him with all my power as the cries escaped me. He tried stopping me but all I did was hit faster than the last time. He ran off in the end and I curled myself into a ball beside the corner of the bench, sobbing uncontrollably. I definitely deserved this. I felt a pair of arms around me and from the scent I knew it was Peeta. He smelled like icing, a tint of masculine perfume and just... Peeta. He pulled me towards his chest and caught me, rocking back and forth.

'Shhh, it's okay Katniss. He was never worth it anyway,' we stayed like that for a while until I calmed down. I opened my mouth to say something but he stopped me and took me home, waiting for me to change as he pulled the blanket up until my neck. He tucked me in before kissing my forehead and mumbling goodnight. I thought Gale was sweet but Peeta was like diabetes. My eyes shut close and I drifted off to another world without Gale. The next morning I still felt broken and upset and confused, all I wanted to do was go to work and just think about something else. I just wanted to put all my effort into thinking whether this actually had a circular shape or whether I put enough dough rather than what Gale had done yesterday. But god had other plans for me today. I heard a faint knock on the door and decided to ignore it, hoping they'll go away if no one answered but that wasn't the case at all. A smiling Peeta, who was filled with happiness, approached me and energy and I didn't feel tired anymore.

'You're finally up! I called an hour ago and Prim told me you were asleep so I decided to go to the grocery store,' he placed all the bags on my table as he rifled for something. I slowly pulled myself up, siting on the bed with a confused expression.

'What are you doing?' I asked, allowing a yawn to escape me. What time was it, anyway? Peeta was never an early riser.

'It's Make Katniss Feel Better day and that's exactly what I'm doing. Now, go get washed and we'll begin.' He pulled me off the bed and basically locked me up in my bathroom. I wasn't aware of his intentions but I didn't go against it either, I splashed the cool water on my face and felt myself relax. I scurried through my closet for the perfect outfit and I ended up choosing a pair of black leggings with an oversized shirt that had the words 'lazy day' printed on it. I tied my dirty blonde hair in a donut bun and spilled on my uggs. I looked like a mess with black bags under my eyes and cheeks so puffy from crying last night. I didn't bother myself with makeup since it was only Peeta and he was my best friend after all. When I went back to my room, i didn't know what to expect as I saw what Peeta had arranged. There were 3 huge buckets of ice cream, each in a different flavor. He bought multiple packets of Sour Patch Kids (I love them!) and some Shawarmas from the other side of town. They had the best hummus ever and I smiled at the fact that Peeta still remembered that. He was siting near the TV, putting the cd in its slot.

'What did you choose?' I asked him while fixing my unarranged room. I threw most of the used tissues in the garbage and fixed my bed before plopping down and sighing. I did that quite a lot. He didn't answer at first and then he turned and sat beside me, studying the remote and clicking a couple of buttons.

'Guess.' He finally said but he didn't look away from the remote.

'Brave heart?'

'Nope.'

'Avatar?'

'Nope.'

'The Avengers?'

'Damn that's a good one, why didn't I choose that?' He snapped his fingers before looking at me with a face-eatingsmile. 'But still, you're wrong.'

'I give up,' I finally said after wondering for minutes. We weren't watching any of his favorites so it could only mean one thing, it was a horror movie and I disliked those the most.

'We're watching The Notebook.' He announced and I was shocked that I forgot to blink. The notebook? I thought guys did everything in their Will power to avoid chick flicks.

'You're kidding, right?' I asked and he shook his head, still wearing that smile. 'You hate that movie,'

'But you don't and today is Katniss day. I think I can survive a couple of hours of this horrible movie.' He said and I playfully hit his side, which erupted a huge chuckle from him. He clicked play and handed the ice cream over. I smiled at him and accepted his offer, drowning myself in ice cream. After a hour, I was crying and shoving huge spoons of ice cream down my throat as Peeta stared at me, bewildered.

'Okay Katniss, I think I'll have to take that away from you.' He reached forward to grab the spoon away from me before I screamed and he closed his eyes from the loud noise.

'All you boys ever do is take the best thing away from us and just- go away!' I shouted at him and he didn't even shout back, instead he rubbed my shoulder affectionately.

'Okay, I'm sorry Katniss. You can continue choking yourself.' He said but I was too mad to even register what he said. I was mad at Gale for being insensitive and I was taking it out on him. I felt the guilt rise in me and I keep cloaking myself in more ice cream. I put him on the spot for Gale and all Gale did was ruin me to the extent that I'm screaming at my best friend for wanting to take a fork away from me for my own health. I sighed and looked his way he didn't seem upset though. He was concentrating on the movie and every once in a while; he'd eat a little ice cream. I was nearly done with me and he barely touched his. He glanced my way and smiled.

'I'm sorry, you know,' I whispered and he turned around, mouthful of chocolate ice cream.

'Hmm?'

'I'm sorry for yelling at you, I just have so much on my plate right now.'

'S'okay,' he paused the movie and turned his entire body towards me. 'Lets talk, what happened?'

'Gale happened.' I answered back in despair. This was the last thing I wanted to remember.

'You know, I can help you a bit.' He told me hopefully before reaching for my hands. 'I've been told I'm pretty good at making someone feel better.'

His hands fit perfectly, like they were made for mine and I smiled at the friendly gesture. Or was it more than that? I smiled and nodded my head.

'Okay.'

Xxx.

It was almost New Years now; 2 months had passed since my last encounter with Gale. He tried apologizing for breaking it up in such a bad way but I always refused to listen, I was done with him. Prim ran around the park like a 5 year old and gathered as much snow her small hands could possibly hold before forming a ball and throwing it on Peeta's head.

'Hey! I'll get you back for that!' He told her and began running behind her, giggles erupted from her and her whole face was bright. I pushed my hands further in my pockets as I watched the whole scene. It was beyond cold and even though this coat, boots and scarf helped me not freeze to death, I still had goose bumps. College was about to start in a week and I was not ready to leave. New Years basically was like a goodbye party for me and it was like the New Year would be dedicated to living in a new, big city with different dreams. I thought about how prim would handle that, and mother too. They wouldn't have food or money but I found a solution to that a long time back. I'd work and send my money before the landlord kicks them out. It amazed me how we still haven't left the place totally bankrupt, I give myself credit for keeping the place intact. My thoughts were pushed far behind my head when I heard Prim's scream of happiness when Peeta caught her and ruffled her hair. He had a little snow on his hair and his face was beyond pale due to the cold weather. His pants weren't ironed and his shoes definitely did not match his outfit but I didn't even notice that. He protectively wrapped his arm around Prim's little shoulders and I knew that she was safe with him. They approached me and we began walking away from the playground, towards a place with heaters like coffee shops.

'What are you thinking about?' He asked as he stirred his coffee. Prim was by the counter choosing a cupcake and i knew why he kept quiet for so long up until now.

'Next week,' I honestly blurted out and he nodded his head.

'Ah, college. Excited?' He sipped a little of his coffee before sticking his tongue out like a little dog, complaining because of how hot it is.

'Terrified, actually. I'm not social and people would probably hate me.' I admitted shyly, I hated letting people see me behind these shields.

'No one can hate you, Katniss.'

'People at the games did.' He sighed before running his hands threw his hair and turning back to see that Prim was still waiting for her cupcake.

'No they didn't. They knew from the beginning that you were going to win and they needed someone to fight against. You were the hardest and they all failed in killing you. Chill Katniss. Everything will go well.' He rubbed my back soothingly before allowing me to lean on his chest, thinking about a future that I didn't exactly have planned yet.

'Thank you,' I finally said after what felt like an eternity. Prim looked confused but shrugged it off anyway; she was enjoying her cupcake way too much.

'You know it's the truth, Cat.' He smiled and I couldn't help but feel my heart go all warm and it wasn't from the coffee.

We walked back home and Prim ran ahead of us, way too excited to break the news to mom as Peeta and I walked slower than my liking. He talked about work, his mom and this new Xbox game he bought. I already knew half of the things he said but I just smiled at the memories. The Christmas lights brightened the town as we halted to a stop.

'I guess this is my cue to leave,' I smiled and scratched the back of my neck. I felt his warm lips against mine in a second and I didn't hesitate, kissing him with love. He pulled back after a few seconds and smiled, walking away. Now I was going to leave with a kiss from someone I really cared about. This wasn't part of my plan.

After running as fast as I could with what seemed like a 50-pound suitcase, I arrived 5 minutes before everything started. I had enough time to greet my roommate and run off to catch the tour before it was too late otherwise I would walk around like a clueless person all semester.

'Can I help you?' The blue haired woman asked, reminding me a lot of Effie.

'Oh, um I was wondering if I could get my room key. I just arrived and I have a tour to catch up with,' I breathed out, still exhausted.

'You're a little late.' She smiled and I knew that she wasn't trying to offend me.

'Well I decided to wait for a taxi but I knew that if I stood in that line for more than 10 minutes then I'll be late so I decided to run.' She laughed at the story and her eyes opened wider than any one else I know. She seemed interested.

'You ran? Isn't it like, 10 minutes away?' She asked, searching a couple of papers.

'20 minutes when you're carrying a 50 pound suitcase.' I laughed and she pulled a key out, with a genuine smile on her face.

'Well here you go, Miss Everdeen.' I sent her a confused look and she smiled wider.

'How did you know me?'

'Well, for starters, you're the only one who did not come to take their key and two, you're my roommate so I had to investigate a bit. I thought you ditched or something.'

'Wow, was I that late?' I dropped my hand bag on the floor and messaged my shoulder.

'You have no idea. I'm Beatrice,' she pushed her hand my way. 'Its nice to meet you.'

I shook her hand with a firm grip and smiled, nodding my head. 'Same to you, Bea.'

I pulled my bags once again and ran off to the room, ready for the tour to start. The college was huge, nothing I had expected. I heard about how big it was but I did not expect it to be this big, I was terrified to get lost in such a place. My teachers for this semester seemed sweet and the clubs they held here were pretty good. They actually had archery club, something I was good at. I threw myself on the bed, sighing in relief when my back came to contact with the mattress.

'Long day, I suppose?' Beatrice asked, leaving the bathroom with a tired look on her face.

'Very, this place is huge,'

'Oh you have no idea. The parties that are held are also amazing.'

'Doubt I'll attend any at the moment.' She seemed confused for a second but it faded after a while.

'Not the type, I see.' She nodded to herself and it appeared like she was taking notes, getting to know me in an indirect way.

'That's not exactly it; I just don't fit in with people from here. My side of the city is just, different. You know?'

'I've been to your side and they're all serious and stuff, you're the only person from there who actually jokes around, a bit.'

'You can say we have other problems to deal with.' I closed my eyes and imagined home. The white snow filling everyone's yards and the tiny coffee shops in the corner of every street, the little kids singing and jumping in the middle of town.

'Well, you gotta let loose to actually enjoy the city here. You just need the right tour guide,' she was teasing me and I could sense it. Let loose? Could I really do that? I mean, I could maintain a job and college at the same time. Letting loose is just part of the plan.

'Hmm do you know anyone who's good at that?' I winked and she giggled. It was time for a new life.

xxxX.

The first semester was finally over and I felt myself finally relax as I gulped a little from my beer. The liquid made my throat ache but it made me feel at ease for a few hours so let that be. I was never a heavy drinker because being hung-over was never good and I tried avoiding that the most. The first time I drank too much, I woke up the next day with a horrible headache and I screwed up in my English test because of that. When the train finally arrived to our city, I threw my bottle to the garbage and drank water, hoping to get sober as fast as possible. I still had to catch another train, which was 20 minutes away from home so maybe that would've helped. I fell asleep during most of the ride and walked back home with a light bag. The city seemed foreign since I was so used to my college life, everything did seem serious just like Beatrice had said. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Gale with a pregnant Rose and I began walking faster. I was still not over him, or what he did to me. My thoughts were cut off when I felt someone hug my lower stomach and I looked down to spot Prim, hugging the life out of me.

'Prim,' I breathed out in happiness. She was okay. The whole money plan had worked and they weren't starving to death.

'Katniss, I missed you so much.'

'Oh Primmy, I missed you too. I got you some chocolates, just like you asked. Dark chocolate of course, so mom won't steal yours.' The smile on her face caused my stomach to turn in happiness. Maybe leaving this place was never a bad idea.

'I told you she'll get it for me Peeta!' His name brought me back to life and I caught him standing a few yards away, smiling. He was wearing a plain white tee and his black jeans looked new. His hair was dyed dark brown now and he grew a bit. He walked towards me and I pulled him in for a hug, holding him with all my power. He smelled the same. I ran my hands through his hair and smiled before pulling away.

'I like it,' I said, playing with the ends of his hair. He smiled and nodded his head.

'I thought you wouldn't. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot for doing this.'

'No you're not, I love this. It looks really good on you, honestly.' He grinned and played with my hair, twisting it around his finger.

'When was the last time you cut yours? It grew. Another indication that I haven't seen you in decades,' He wasn't looking at me anymore, but at my body and hair. Prim was ignored and I could see her using her phone, most likely playing a game and ignoring these two ignorant teens.

'I cut it before I left. It's been a while, actually. I missed you,' I confessed and that's when he looked at me. His chocolate brown eyes were shining as bright as the sun and he rubbed my cheek with his thumb, with that smile plastered on his face.

'I missed you way more than you think. I was never around when you called and you don't own a phone so I couldn't exactly call the local telephone and ask for Katniss Everdeen, can I?'

'No,' I answered and he pulled away, extending his hand. I held on to him for dear life and we began walking back home, to my real home this time.

The rest of the holiday passed way too fast for my liking and I was aching to stay. Peeta had organized a picnic in front of the lake and I was sleeping on his chest, as he played with the ends of my hair, twisting per usual. He kissed my forehead before speaking.

'I don't want you to go,' he shyly admitted.

'I don't want to go, either.' He slowly pushed me away from him and began rummaging the picnic basket before pulling a bunch of strawberries. He dipped them in chocolate and fed it to me, chuckling every time he put some on my nose 'by mistake'.

'I love you, Katniss,' the words slipped out of his mouth and I felt like I couldn't breathe. He regret it immediately and was about to apologize before I shook my head.

'No Peeta. You didn't say anything wrong. I mean, it's like, what I meant to say is that - I love you too, Peeta.' His face broke into smiles of all kinds and he approached me, kissing me tenderly and affectionately. I grew missing his kisses day by day and mentally slapped myself for choosing Gale over him when we could've developed a better relationship together all along.

'Come with me,' I whispered after a moment of silence. The only thing you could hear was our heavy breathing.

He nodded his head before smiling, 'Okay.'

Your words in my head,

knives in my heart

You build me up

and then I fall apart

I'm only human

A/N: Okay, so if this story got a little bit confusing in the middle, I apologize. Panem is a country and when Katniss went to study for college, she left Panem. It's not like she left district 12 and went to, like district 1. i'm aware that this story is moving way too fast but I was afraid the ideas would fly away from my head, i tried slowing it down as much as possible. You can PM me if you have any ideas and i'll try working on it. :)