Why can't she just cry herself to sleep already, Ymir thought, covering her ears with her pillow. Had it been any of the other girls, Ymir would have have simply told her to shut the fuck up. Now, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She could never say something like that to a crying Christa.
It was in the middle of the night – or perhaps early in the morning, Ymir wasn't sure – and they would soon have to wake up to yet another hard day of training. Christa, the petite blonde in the bunk bed above Ymir, had started sobbing after lights-out and had been going at it non-stop ever since. Ymir didn't know why Christa was crying, and she definitely didn't know why it was making her so uncomfortable. Christa's crying wasn't especially loud and shouldn't be enough to keep Ymir awake. Ymir could usually sleep through anything. But this isn't just 'anything', Ymir thought. It's Christa.
It scared her how much she'd come to care about the girl. Ymir couldn't explain it, but they were similar somehow. They were also incredibly different in other ways, but it didn't make Ymir like her any less.
Ymir sighed. Listening to Christa crying was making her heart ache, but she didn't know how to help her. She wasn't exactly good with words and she didn't want to make it worse, which was why she'd originally decided to just wait it out. Now, hours later, she was on the brink of insanity. Just fall asleep, she thought. Just fucking fall asleep.
An extra pitiful sob from the bed above was the final drop. Ymir grabbed her pillow and her blanket and climbed up into Christa's bed.
"Ymir? What are you doing?" Christa whispered, quickly covering her teary eyes with her arm.
Ymir didn't answer, mostly because she didn't know what to say. What the hell am I doing? she thought, placing her pillow next to Christa's. After laying down next to Christa she pushed one arm under the blonde's neck and wrapped the other around her tiny body, pulling her closer.
She's so tiny, Ymir realized as she held the trembling girl in her arms. She'd known since their first medical examination that she was almost two full decimeters taller than Christa, but she'd never really noticed how much of a difference that actually was. How do I comfort someone so tiny? she thought, beginning to panic. She wasn't good at comforting people. No one had ever really comforted her when she was that small. Except mom, she remembered. And mom used to sing.
"Ymir?" Christa whispered again. Her body had tensed up against Ymir's, but she wasn't pulling away.
Mom used to sing. Ymir cleared her throat, and then she started to sing. "Vargen ylar I nattens skog. Han vill, men kan inte sova," she began, her voice soft and slightly out of tune. It was the only lullaby she knew, the one her mother used to sing to her when she couldn't sleep. It was strange, hearing it out loud for the first time in over 60 years, but it felt right.
"Hungern river hans vargabuk, och det är kallt i hans stova," she continued. "Du varg, du varg, kom inte hit. Ungen min får du aldrig."
She paused, giving Christa a hesitant look. The girl was staring at her in wonder, too surprised to cry.
"What language is that?" she asked, her voice still trembling.
"My mother tongue," Ymir answered. She couldn't even remember the name of her own language and it saddened her.
Christa blinked, looking genuinely curious. "I've never heard anything like it before. Where are you from?"
"The north. Far, far north, where the snow never melts and the nights go on for weeks." It was a lousy answer, but it was the only answer Ymir could provide her with. She wasn't sure where exactly her homeland was. She'd wandered so far during those dark years, and she could barely remember a thing from it.
"What's is about?" Christa asked, interrupting Ymir's thoughts. "The song?"
"It's about a hungry wolf, and a mother telling it that it'll never get her baby. I guess it doesn't really fit the situation. Sorry," Ymir muttered, a little flustered.
"I liked it," Christa said, curling up against Ymir. She placed her head on Ymir's shoulder and closed her eyes. "Could you… Could you sing it again?"
Ymir nodded, feeling Christa's body relax against hers. "Vargen ylar i nattens skog, ylar av hunger och klagan," she sang, continuing on the lullaby's second verse. She was glad Christa had closed her eyes. She didn't want anyone to see the deep blush on her cheeks – not even Christa.
Ymir never found out why Christa cried that night. She never asked. Instead, she simply sang the girl to sleep. Ymir had always thought of herself as a truly shitty person, but being able to comfort Christa made her feel a little bit better about herself.
"Varg, du varg, kom inte hit," she sang. "Christa min får du aldrig."
A/N: I just wanted to write a story about Ymir singing Vargsången to Christa since it's my favorite Swedish lullaby. Translation of the first verse:
The wolf howls in the forest of night
He wants to, but can't fall asleep
Hunger tears his wolf stomach, and it's cold in his lair
Wolf, oh wolf, don't come here. You'll never get my baby
(You'll never get my Christa)