Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this story and I do not make any money. It's written for entertainment purposes only. Thank you.
Read and review, have fun and forgive any potential mistakes; English is my second language, though I had help of a great beta. Sephaya, thank you.
1. Prologue
"Your father entered Odinsleep."
Loki had heard the door open and close, had heard her voice. For a minute, he remained motionless, the unwelcomed thought resonating within his mind. He is not your father.
"Loki, please."
He finally turned to face Frigga. Her hands were clasped behind her back, tightly holding onto the door handles of her bedroom door behind which Odin Allfather was resting. She looked haggard, her eyes were red and he could see faint traces of hastily wiped off tears.
"How long will it last?"
"I don't know."
Hesitatingly he moved towards her, reaching out with one hand. Would she touch him? Why would she do it, though? He was nothing but a monster, everything he did was wrong somehow, always coming back to mock him, haunt him. Thor's botched-up coronation, amusing as it was, hadn't brought anything more than grief, and so their ill-fated journey to Jotunheim.
Loki only wanted to show to their… He is not your father!
He wanted to show Thor's father how unprepared his heir was. Mission accomplished, that's the truth, though the consequences were much direr. Banishment. Odinsleep. War. Yes, everything Loki did came back to haunt him. Failure, you are a failure.
Frigga tiredly put her arm through his, for a short moment resting her forehead on Loki's shoulder.
She was so petite. He had outgrown both her and Odin years ago. Frost Giant, indeed – he might be small for a giant's offspring, but he certainly was tall enough for an Asgardian.
"Stubborn old fool. He had to put it off for so long…"
Loki nodded slowly, not really hearing the words, and led his…Thor's…mother to the windows and sat her on cushioned bench there. They could see the lights underneath the palace, hear the wind singing. It was so warm here, so, so, warm.
You don't belong here, you monster.
He couldn't breathe, one hand leaning on the window frame, the other clenched tightly.
"Why? Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you? That I am a Frost giant."
Silence. Then Frigga lightly touched his fist and pried it open, interweaving her fingers with his. She smiled a little and forcefully yanked him down to sit next to her. Warily, Loki let her.
"I was wondering what could possibly send him into such a deep sleep and made you so moody at the same time." Frigga sighed and her other hand touched Loki's cheek, turning him to face her.
"He only wanted to protect you from the truth."
Lies, they are lying…
It was the exact same words Odin had said. Loki shook his head, ready to object, yet his mother didn't give him any chance and continued:
"I agreed with his decision. We didn't want you to feel any different from Thor, we wanted you to know that we are your family."
They're not.
"Thor was always his favorite, father always paid more attention to him…"
"Of course he did." Frigga chuckled. "Thor demanded your father's attention more forcefully than you, my dear boy. Remember? What did your brother make any time he felt bored?"
"A mess." Loki snorted. Oh, he did, he did remember very well. Frigga's eyes were so clear, so serene – despite the redness or maybe because of it, Loki felt grounded and the whispering was slowly becoming only a distant humming in the back of his mind.
"And what did you do?"
"I was never bored." His mouth twitched. That was true – his brother always managed to cause chaos everywhere he went with everything he did. Loki had been content to watch how their father had meted out punishments and dealt with the messes. In the rare cases when Loki found himself without anything to do, he needled his brother or otherwise occupied himself with mischief-making… but he'd never tried to play jokes on his father or cause troubles for the king.
"You can trust me when I say that your father was very grateful that at least one of his sons was well-behaved. You never caused him worries, Loki, and he knew you did not need to be supervised all the time… not as Thor did."
They shared a small smile before Loki looked away.
"Now, come and see your father, it will help him recover to know you are there."
He doubted that, though Frigga stood up and tugged her reluctant son with her back towards the bedroom door. The room behind it was dark; the only light was coming dimly from the bubble surrounding Odin on his bed. Loki felt like a small boy again when they entered and he sat down on the chair next to his father while Frigga settled on his other side, sitting on the edge of the bed and gently stroking her husband's hand.
Loki watched them. He remembered well the first time he had seen the Allfather like this – how much it confused him, how scared he felt and how fervently he wished that his father would wake up.
He felt guilty. Thor had reacted like he always had – making things difficult – but the current mess was created by Loki. His attempt to postpone Thor's coronation made all of Asgard vulnerable and with it the other realms, too. He was no better than his idiotic brother and they both shared the guilt for sending Odin into his sleep. The only difference was that Thor was gone, too.
"What am I going to do?" He asked quietly.
"You must not lose hope that everything will be all right. Your father will wake up and your brother will find his way back to us. In the mean time we are going to deal with the mess you've managed to create, of course." Frigga answered and her son looked at her in surprise. "I know perfectly well what you did, my dear God of Mischief – and don't try to pull off that innocent face, it could work on your father, but I know very well what you've been up to for all these years."
Loki gaped at his mother, more than a little shocked. He was certain that nobody ever suspected him from the few small happenings that had erupted in chaos in the kitchens, in the armory, in the stables… or anywhere in the palace, actually.
"I don't know what you are talking about." He said prickly. He certainly hoped she was not referring to the fact he had let the Frost giants inside Asgard. That could be considered treason.
"I'm sure you don't." She said calmly. "Just don't let enemies invade the palace again, please."
There was silence for several long minutes and Loki watched the Asgardians who had been his parents for most of his life. He did not feel any different from them, even though his mind was whispering treacherous words again. That he was unworthy of their affection, of their approval, of their love. That he was a monster who was capable of only ruin and destruction was the only thing he would bring to them.
His face must have shifted to reflect his anguish, for Frigga suddenly reached for him and brought Loki's hand inside the bubble, their joined hands resting over Odin's heart.
"You are our son and we are your family. Never doubt this."
He wanted to believe it, so much he wished it to be the truth. He squeezed her hand painfully and looked into her eyes.
"I still remember the day Odin brought you to me. He rode ahead of the armies and marched into this very room, smelling like battle, smoke and rotting flesh, his armor was covered in blood and in his tattered cloak, he had wrapped you. You were his first concern, Loki, not his own wounds but delivering you to me, taking you home."
Loki looked down at his father, focusing on the spot where the eye patch was. He knew that Odin had lost his eye in the final battle on Jotunheim. His father's words came back to him: In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby. Abandoned, suffering, left to die… You are my son.
And so he was. He was not a son of the Jotun king who had left him to death. He was a son of the Asgardian king who had brought him up. His father's voice replaced the cold whispers, repeating again and again four words. You are my son.
"I failed him, mother." The thumping of his father's heart was so very faint; he almost couldn't feel it underneath his palm. "I'm so sorry. He banished Thor. How can he ever forgive me?"
"He gave your brother a way to redeem himself and I trust he will manage. What do you think you should do, then?" Frigga squeezed Loki's hand and smiled when he readily answered:
"Redeem myself, too. Prove to be worthy of his name, just like Thor has to."
The God of Mischief looked down at his father and smiled determinedly. It was said that Odin was aware of the happenings around him even deep in his sleep. Loki had never asked him if it was true but hoped so. He wished that his father would hear and know that he was trying to make things right again.
With Thor gone and his father in Odinsleep, there was only him left to rule Asgard and rule he would. This was his chance to prove to his king that he too was fit for throne and that Odin could be proud of him. This was Loki's chance to earn his father's approval.
Would anyone be interested in more chapters? Let me know ;) Thanks