It almost made her want to laugh. "tch, so naive." she smiles just enough so he wouldn't see, but it was a morale boost for her. She, an under experienced daughter of a jedi, who had only used a real lightsaber a handful of times, on account of favoring her staff, was about to fight a knight of Ren. Again. If she had got be he first time alive, she would certainly do it again. "your move." she was feeling generous.
A flash of uncertainty she was all too familiar with from their childhood became apparent across his face. "I've been telling you. Join me." he was still unwilling to ignite his lightsaber. Looks like they were going to be there for a while. "why would you deny me?" there was a twinge of aggression in his voice, but it wasn't too much.
It wasn't hard for her to answer, and he knew her well enough to be able to tell when she casually and gently swung her blazing Saber all too close to the side of her head as she spoke. "oh, I don't know," her voice suddenly took a more serious tone. "maybe because you're a awful, horrible person who has daddy issues? Oh, that's right, YOU KILLED HIM." The last part almost hurt for her to say, but she was putting him right where she wanted him. Shocking him with how much she changed. How she wasn't afraid to talk back anymore. How she was going to fight the system and make sure everyone knows.
And as much as it hurt for her to say, it didn't seem to phase him. But that would only be to a bystander. She knew him better. That man has an iron will, but words still hurt him. She remembered all the days he would lock himself in his room and cry for hours. She remembered sitting on the other side of his door and just listening. Being as young as she was she didn't know what to do. And yet he never threw things or yelled, like he would do now. He just… cried.
But he still didn't attack her. It was as if she was the last piece of Ben solo, and just being there put him all back together again. "I said stand down." he desperately changed the subject. She knew she was winning. Who ever said killing someone was the best way to destroy them? She could talk him in to submission better than that. And maybe, just maybe, she could have her Ben back. But this man still wasn't Ben. She still had work to do.
"quit acting so desperate." the comment was sharp and informative but from her tone it was like she was trying to kill him with kindness. "please." she added just to mess with him.
Fury immediately arose in kylo's eyes. "I am not acting desperate, Rey!" and it was at that moment he broke. The first time in a long time he called her by her name. Not 'the girl' or 'her'. Rey. Her real name. Her amazement sinked in immediately. It was like their entire conversation was different to them then it was to anyone else. They were alone, but they must have been on surveillance. There was cameras all around that Damm place. "y-you" she pointed at him pointlessly, then back to herself as a smile arose on her face and she let out a nervous laugh. "you… just called me Rey!" it was almost like they were playing a childhood game and she had won. "you said my name!" it was all she could do to not run over to him and hug him. She showed restraint regardless.
None the less he tried to be more mature then her. "yes. I did. Why would that be so amusing? Would you prefer I adress you as Skywalker?" he asked it as though he didn't care, but he undoubtedly did. It took her no more then a second to respond. "no, no, Rey is fine. Rey is good." she smiled again. She wanted to be serious, but she just couldn't. She was so close she could almost taste it. Time to go in for the talking equivalent to the kill. "all I wish In return is to be allowed to call you Ben." she winced in anticipation, but no aggression came.
Instead, he looked stricken himself. He went defensive instead of attacking her. "I… Rey, I am not Ben." but either way he was content on persisting. "you can leave your name behind, too. Leave behind everything and just…" he sounded powerful again. It was just an act. He was hurt inside. "just join me. And we can be together." he reaches out his hand.
And Rey played in. She grabbed his hand "yes." she stated. Honestly she didn't know what she was doing. She just knew it would work. But maybe he was right. Maybe she should join him. She could be with the man she knew and keep him grounded. She could work him back to the light. She could outplay him. She knew it was dangerous. She was putting herself to close to the darkness by doing this but… hell, it seemed like a solid enough idea. "I'll come with you."
~months later~
She was too late. He was killed. She told him a million times, he was only so useful to the first order. There would come a time… she didn't want to think about that. But only as that thought ran through her head with what had to be the fifteenth time, the reality finally sunk In. Struck down in a desperate mutiny attempt. Damn, was he stupid. She laughed. A Damn mutiny. That was one hell of a way to go. He was going to be so proud, too. She had wanted to prove herself to him. So much that she killed her own father.
"it's… it's just like…" she smiled as she cried and cried at the same time as she stroked his lifeless bodies' hair. "remember when you killed mom? I was four. I still remember it clearly." she buried her face in her hands. "dammit!" she yelled loud enough that her voice echoed through the entire hall. "why did you have to go and die on me… we were going to be happy! We were going to leave this crappy place and settle down and have children and live!" her tears would have been enough to drown her if she was in a bucket. She didn't get out of bed for the days to follow. By then she had been full aware she was practically starving herself. She didn't care. AL she wanted was her kylo back. She didn't even want Ben anymore. And as much as she cried there was only one thing that turned her thoughts away from him. What had she become?