Waiting

There is no such word as "age" when it comes to love. You can fall in love at any age. Many people will say that 15 is too young an age to know the true meaning of love, but they're wrong. I'm 15 and I know what love feels like, be it love for friends or love felt towards a paramour. I'm also married. A lot of people will be appalled if I tell them about it because they think I'm too young, too naive and foolish, but that's not true. I know a lot more than most people double my age. Despite my youth, I've been in love and know how it feels, and how much it can hurt. But in spite of the pain, I, Yuuki Miaka, believe that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Now that I'm back in my own world and the doors to the "Universe of the Four Gods" are closed to me forever, I spend my days studying for my high school entrance exams in an attempt to keep my mind off of Tamahome. But it's not working. There are times when I'm doing my homework, when suddenly, my mind runs away from my control and slips me an image of Tamahome, turquoise hair gleaming in the sun, blue eyes shining with love and captivating me. His arms wide open, inviting me to an embrace. It's times like those when my eyes start burning and my vision start blurring with tears.

I sigh. It hurts, it hurts so much. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if I never found the book in the first place, but that would mean that I would never have met any of them - the Suzaku Seishi. I love them all, and they've taught me so much. More so, I can't bear the thought of having never met Tamahome. It hurts, but it's worth the pain because those were the happiest moments of my life.

---

I took a deep breath as I looked up from my calculus worksheet and out the window. I pulled a tissue from the tissue box sitting on my desk, blew my nose and continued gazing up at the blue blue sky reaching infinite heights. I stared, entranced by the sun's warm golden rays spilling across the world, wrapping everything in a bright shroud. Everything looked so cheerful, so full of hope. Suddenly, I felt an inexplicable feeling bubbling up. It was as if a weight was lifted from my chest, releasing something trapped deep down. Hope, it was hope. The feeling I was trying to suppress to spare myself from further disappointment.

I glanced out the window at the radiance of the sun's glow, washing everything in a golden hue. The feeling strengthened, and I realized that this hope could never be shattered.

Immdiately, I opened the drawer of my desk and dug around the piles of paper. After a while of searching, I pulled out Tamahome's farewell letter. Before, I had buried Tamahome's letter underneath many other pieces of paper because I couldn't bear looking at it. The pain was too fresh; the wound was too deep, but with this renewed feeling of hope, I realized that it was stupid of me to lock away the memories of Tamahome. I should keep him close to my heart. It was impossible for me to forget him, so why bother trying?

I stood up and walked to the window, pushed open the glass barriers and exposed myself to the sweet smell of sakura blossoms carried by the gentle spring breeze, and the happy twittering of birds. I breathed deeply, inhaling the aromatic scent of the cherry blossoms.

As I turned my head slightly, I caught sight of the ring on my finger as it glinted when it caught the sun's rays. I lifted my finger up to my lips and left a kiss on the bright red stone.

Hugging Tamahome's letter close to my chest, I wiped away the tears streaming down my face with my sleeve. I leaned against the windowsill, and closed my eyes. Hoping beyond hope that my words would reach him, I whispered, "Someday, somewhere, I know we'll meet again. And I'm living for that day. I'm waiting for you Tamahome, I'm waiting..."