Disclaimer: I don't own, blablabla. I think we've established that over a thousand times over and over again, ne?
A/N: I found this on my computer, unfinished, one day. 'Wow, ShikaHina!' I thought and continued. Still, I'm ashamed of how little ShikaHina this fic includes..
Starts with Hinata's point of view, then goes to normal POV.
*
To be totally honest, I don't like fighting.
Sure it is a great way to vent one's anger, but to actually hurt people just for the sake of hurting them isn't my thing. That's probably the reason I couldn't, wouldn't fight with everything I have, which is the reason for my slower progress compared to everyone else. And training without your mind in it is just pointless, was what I had learned over the years.
"Useless", is the adjective my Father uses of me. "Weird", is a word Naruto usually describes me as. "Shy", is the first thing people usually think of me.
No wonder my motivation isn't very high.
To be totally honest, all I had ever wanted was a peaceful life, a loving husband and kids full of energy and curiosity.
My heart still aches when I see Naruto run after Sakura, but have tried my best to get over him. Uchiha Sasuke has always been easy to look at, but I can't imagine sharing a life with him. Few passionate nights, yes, but not a life. Akimichi Chouji is someone I don't really know so I wouldn't draw any conclusions about him. Kiba is like a brother to me and let's face it, Shino is more like a reliable ally and a friend than husband-material. Lee is in love with Sakura and Neji has his own life and dreams to accomplish with his long-time girlfriend, Yamanaka Ino.
"Who else is there?" you might ask. "You just listed everyone of Rookie Nine plus Gai's team", no I didn't. "You're going to be an old maid if you don't keep an open mind."
My mind is open, it's he who isn't open-minded. He has, after all, classified every female being 'troublesome'.
That's why I was dumbfounded when he spoke to me for the first time.
*
Hinata never wore her jacket when she was training alone. It kept going on her way and it was too warm during training, even on cold days. So she tossed the offending cloth away as soon as she got to the middle of the woods she used as her training spot.
It was quiet. Too quiet in fact, but the scene she had just witnessed was still playing on her mind, leaving her senses off guard.
No, it wasn't that Sakura had finally decided to love Naruto. It wasn't that she had seen Kiba make out with her sister. She hadn't even caught Neji and Ino in the act: quite the contrary, no-one had even suspected they were dating before they confessed their love in front of the whole village.
The scene which was playing on and on in her mind was of Shikamaru.
He had been walking down the main street, minding his own business when Sakura had stopped him. Hinata was walking to the opposite direction, not really paying attention to the pair – not before they kissed, anyway. She had almost stopped in surprise, but had willed her feet to continue her steady walk.
No, she didn't have anything against the two dating- it wasn't like she liked Shikamaru, right? – but at that moment she had felt something. The feeling was so sudden, so unexpected, so strong that it left her exhausted, on the verge of tears.
Hence the reason she was 100% psyched up for some serious training.
*
"Damn", Sakura cursed, seeing Hinata continue her walk as if nothing had happened. Shikamaru sighed for the tenth time that day.
"Are you still trying to set me up with her?" Sakura turned pink and scooted to Hinata's antics, pointing her forefingers against each other.
It had been her, Ino and Tenten's mission to set Hinata up with someone – seeing as she was almost the only one not dating – but had come to only one conclusion: Chouji wasn't her type, Sasuke was Sakura's (that's what she kept telling herself), Naruto and Lee's interests were somewhere else and Neji was dating Ino. So that only left Shikamaru, who, to the girls' dissapointment, wasn't exactly excited about the plan.
"Can't you see she's not interested? Now leave me alone, you troublesome woman.." the last part was muttered so quietly Sakura didn't hear it.
"But she's been so down lately.." Sakura tried to defend herself but was immediately cut off.
"It might not have got anything to do with not having a boyfriend. Maybe she's just PMS-ing and you're just overreacting.."
Sakura sighed in defeat and left – not before giving him a piece of her mind for using the P-word, but Shikamaru wasn't too keen on remembering that so he just left it out of his memory –finally leaving him alone.
Of course, being a genious, he had noticed Hinata's changed behaviour. But unlike he had claimed, he didn't think it was because the time of the month. If it was, she would have acted like this sometime before. It couldn't be about Naruto either: he hadn't made any kind of progress with Sakura in the last few years.
Shikamaru wasn't going to admit it, but his curiousity was raising it's head..
*
During the past week she had gone through a lot. Not physically – her training with her father and cousin were what they always used to be – but emotionally. A bit by bit she had started to feel.. strange.
Most of the time it was hard to keep these feelings to herself: whenever she saw Shikamaru around a woman, a cold fist would squeeze her heart until she was on the verge of fainting. Once, when she had passed him on the streets she had started to feel warm, just because he had passed her by so close..
She didn't want to recognize these feelings to herself.
She was in love with Naruto, the number one dobe and the future Hokage of Konoha. She still blushed around him.. but lately even that had lessened so much she could hold a normal converstation with him.
Her jacket on the ground, she prepared herself for harsher training she had ever ordered upon herself.
She was going to forget the lazy man, even only for the next few hours..
*
Great, she was just hitting and kicking a tree like there was no tomorrow.
Sighing in dissapointment, Shikamaru turned away from the scene and sat down against the tree he had been hiding behind. Stalking her had been more pointless than trying to run away from Ino when she wanted him to carry her shopping bags for her.
He was just about to leave when she kicked the tree extra hard and it fell down with a loud thud. The noise stopped him, and he slowly turned around.
*
She fell on the forest floor on her knees and cried.
She could take pressure, outward abuse and insults.. but when her own mind started playing tricks on her, she always broke down.
Training hadn't worked: she still remembered the scene she had seen earlier, and her own imagination had started to wander.. were Shikamaru and Sakura dating? For how long? Or had he noticed her strange behaviour and decided to find out what it was about?
"Leave me alone.. please.."
*
That was unexpected.
Crying girls were troublesome and she had told him to leave – okay, he knew she was talking to mental images or memories of something, but it had sounded like dismissal and given him a reason to go back to minding his own business – but for some reason he couldn't leave. Shikamaru was certain that he would regret if he stayed, but he did it anyways.
*
Rustle of leaves caught her attention and she turned her head to the direction of the noise.
"Sh-Shikamaru-san?"
Her voice sounded pathetic even to herself. Inwardly she cringed: why did he have to find her in this condition? Ignorant of her internal battle he sat next to her.
"You okay?" he asked, glancing at her.
Their eyes met, and Hinata found herself unable to avert her gaze.
"Lately..", she started, wondering why she was telling him this, "I've felt kind of weird every time I see you.." seeing that he was about to turn away – in disgust, dissapointment? – she hurriedly continued, "I-I mean.. I have never anything like this before.. and I don't blush so often around Na- I mean, um, anymore.." somehow Hinata felt like mentioning Naruto would be a wrong move at the moment.
"The feeling.. what is it like?" Shikamaru suddenly asked, after a moment of silence. This took Hinata by surprise: she had thought he wouldn't want to have anything to do with her now, since her sentences were convoluted, even to herself.
"Today, for example, when I saw you with Sakura, I felt.. like a cold fist had found it's way around my heart.." Shikamaru's head turned to her in disbelief: was she describing what he thought she was describing?
"G-gomen, for imposing my problems on you – "
"It's alright.. I think that.. what you felt.." he could see her whole body stiffen, "was jealousy". Shikamaru knew his words sounded arrogant, but that was his opinion and he wouldn't save his words just to make her feel better.
"Are you sure?" Hinat asked quietly, then hurriedly added, "G-gomen, of course you are, you wouldn't have said it if you weren't.." Her companion just nodded in response.
"So.. how do I make it go away?" her question was naive, and for some reason Shikamaru found it adorable.. and solely for that reason he decided to make an appointment to a doctor as soon as possible.
Something must be wrong with him, thinking that someone – a female – was.. adorable. At the same time he cursed his hormones for making him want to comfort her, console her or whatever he needed to do in order to get her closer to him.
"I don't know", he finally answered truthfully. He had never been in a similar situation himself, and he hated to give advice when he wasn't sure if they worked. So, he had settled to confess his inexperience in the particular field.
"May I ask if you're involved with her?" Shikamaru couldn't see her expression: she was leaning forward so her long hair cast a veil in front of her face. "Sakura?" he asked, leaning back at the tree after coming to the conclusion that she didn't want him to look at her at the moment.
'Why, I wonder. Is she upset?'
"She thinks you're depressed because you don't have a boyfriend and, to put it simply, wanted to see if you're interested in me since the others are taken or 'not your type'", he explained as shortly as he could, not wanting to trouble himself with the pink-haired girl's stupid plan longer than necessary.
"Depressed?" she asked, doing her best to repress the sad emotion seeping into her tone, "I guess you could call it that.. I felt the need to hold someone close and just be, relax and watch the clouds slowly drift by.."
Hinata looked up to the sky in thought, but was awakened by the sight of stormy gray clouds that promised rain and maybe even thunder. Her companion noticed the changed expression and glanced upwards as well. Sighing, he stood up and offered a hand to help her up.
"We'd better head back before it hits here", he said, referring to the storm. Hinata nodded in agreement and took his hand. Both ignored the warm feeling the touch gave them.
*
Things went back to normal after that. Well, as normal as things could get: Shikamaru still expressed his dislike with life very clearly, Sakura was fully focusing on Sasuke and Hinata..
She was not okay. Her feelings hadn't diminished a bit after confessing them. Still, she kept up the facade that everything was alright and took part in the normal girl-gossip, if only to make Sakura happy.
"So, you don't like anyone?" the pinkette asked, dissapointed. Hinata nodded and took a sip of her tea. She knew she couldn't lie and look at anyone at the same time, so she pretended to be contemplating between a salmon and plain onigiri.
Ino, Tenten, Sakura and her had gone to the hot springs earlier that evening, to have a 'girl's night out' as the blonde and pinkette put it. Tenten wasn't too excited about the whole thing either, but had decided that a change of scenery would do her good. Besides, the hot water relaxed the muscles and she had had a tough day training.
"Well, I've had fun but I must go home early.. I need to work at the shop for a few hours tonight", Ino excused herself and quickly slipped away, most likely to see Neji before her shift began.
"Me too, I need to sharpen my shurikens for tomorrows training. I want to be prepared to beat Neji this time!" Tenten announced, then smiled, knowing she could never defeat the Hyuga prodigy, but wanted to try anyway. Sakura smiled back, then turned back to Hinata.
"Don't tell me you need to go too? I've got nothing to do tonight, if you have free time you could come over to my place and we could watch a movie or two. How does that sound?"
Oh, how Hinata wanted to say she already had other plans, but she knew that if she went home now she'd have to spar with her father. That was never fun, so she decided to take Sakura's offer and nodded.
"Yay! You don't mind if I ask Sasuke, too?" Sakura leaned forward to whisper, "I have a plan! We have this one horror movie.." then she lost her audience. The Hyuga immediately imagined the situation with her and Shikamaru.
'Would he hold my hand?'
".. and then, when the movie ends, I'll pretend to be all embarrassed and blushing and hurrying to get some more snacks or something. What do you think?" An expectant look was shot at Hinata's way.
"Sounds great, Sakura-chan", the indigo-haired girl smiled a forced smile but her friend didn't seem to notice.
*
It came out that Sakura had asked Sasuke to come a week earlier, saying that some other people were coming too; most likely to not make him too suspicious of her intentions.
"Ino couldn't come; she had work. Again. I don't get it, she doesn't get paid, it isn't training.. she could just turn her parents down oncein a while so we could spend some more time together. And Tenten, her weapons are her life", Sakura rambled while they were walking to her house, explaining why she and Hinata were the only girls there. Sasuke just 'hmph'ed.
"Oi, Shikamaru! Didn't expect to see you here!" Sakura greeted the lazy passer-by. Hinata gave a start and her eyes automatically looked for the said shinobi.
"Didn't do the troublesome chores so I was kicked out", the genious shrugged as if it was a normal occurence. Hinata suddenly found the ground very interesting to look at - it had got nothing to do with the fact that he had glanced at her just now.
Hinata could see Sakura's face lighten up as she came up with an idea.
"We're having a movie night at my place. Do you want to come?"
".. to put it simply, wanted to see if you're interested in me.." Hinata remembered Shikamaru's words. Was Sakura still planning to hook them up? The shy girl wouldn't mind that, but the bored look on the lazy boy's face told her he knew what was up, and wasn't too keen on it.
".. yea, sure." He agreed, surprising everyone. Well, except Hinata couldn't interpret the blank look on Sasuke's face and thus didn't know what he was thinking, but she assumed he thought the Nara's actions were abnormal for him.
"Okay!" the pinkette chirped and led the way to her home.
*
It was late at night when Hinata stopped on a bridge. She had been heading home from Sakura's place, but taking another step had become harder and harder by every inch she had moved. Watching the slow flow of the river down below calmed her.
It had been a disaster.
She didn't like horror movies – at all. They gave her nightmares. And what was worse, she couldn't seek safety from anyone: Sakura was wrapped around Sasuke, who had chosen to sit on one edge of the sofa - most likely to avoid becoming the safety net for two terrified girls - and thus out of Hinata's reach.
Shikamaru had sat beside her.
It had been Sakura's arrangement: she had jumped between the two guys after putting the DVD in, leaving Hinata sitting on the other edge of the too-small-for-four-people-couch.
Knowing she wouldn't get through the night without getting traumatized for at least the next two weeks but too polite to just leave, Hinata had pulled her feet on the settee and wrapped her arms around them. For more than once she had, involuntarily, hid behind her knees to avoid looking at the illuminating TV screen.
The movie had been about a kunoichi whose eyesight starts failing her. The enemy ninja had caught her during a spying mission and tortured her for information. When her comrades came to her rescue, she seemed normal. She was too traumatized to remember what they had done to her. Gradually she loses her eyesight by not seeing birds, then people's hands, faces, weapons.. And then she starts hearing voices in her head.
What probably made the movie even more horrible was that losing her eyesights was one of Hinata's greatest fears, as a Byakugan user and a kunoichi. She would become useless, a burden.. just like she felt in her home.
That was why she couldn't take another step towards the Hyuga compound.
Right now she was glad she had declined Shikamaru's – reluctant, mind you – offer to walk her home. She didn't want him to see her like this afte a movie. Sheesh, he'd think she was – ..
.. and he'd be right.
Hinata stared down at the murky water. Actually the water was just as clear as one could find in Konoha, but the darkness surrounding her made it look dark. Murky, because she felt like it.
So deep in thought she didn't notice someone crossing the bridge.
"Shouldn't you be heading home, Hinata-sama?" The addressed girl almost jumped in surprise and turned around to face her cousin.
"Konban wa, Neji-nii-san.. a-ano, I was just about to go home", she lied quickly, plastering a small, Hinata-like shy smile on her face. It was obvious Neji saw through it, but he decided to let her deal with, whatever it was, herself.
"I'll see you there, then", he said and left.
*
Three hours since she said she could get home by herself. Three god damn hours he had waited her to show up at the Hyuga gates. In all seriousness, this was becoming the most troublesome thing he had ever done for anyone: wait for three darn hours to make sure she didn't drown herself or anything.
Not that she'd do that: even though she must have felt her life royally sucked, she'd think of her clan first. It wouldn't do them any good if the heiress committed suicide.
Well, it would be one thing off of the Hyuga clan leader's to do-list: he could easily name Hanabi the heiress and be done with the whole pretending of accepting Hinata as the future leader.
Why did Shikamaru know so much about the Hyuga politics? The answer was troubling the genious himself, too. He hadn't studied the Hyuga ways – nor was he ever even intending to do so – and yet he knew what most didn't.
She wasn't far from forced into a marriage.
In order for her sister to take the title of the heiress, Hinata would have to marry an heir of another clan - that would make her a part of another family, and she'd no longer be a Hyuga. In order to protect the Byakugan, however, she'd have to receive the cursed seal.
If her father came to the conclusion that Hinata would indeed be worthy of becoming the leader, she would have to marry inside the clan in order to make sure the Hyugas would be led by Hyugas, not an outsider.
This all could be clearly – in Shikamaru's opinion – concluded from Hinata's character and her relationship with her father. And cousin. And sister. And the whole darn world.
'Where the hell is she?!'
Almost ready to give up Shikamaru pushed himself off of the tall wall surrounding the Hyuga compound. He sensed someone approaching, however, so he waited.
In vain. It was only the Hyuga genious.
*
About half an hour after her cousin had left the bridge Hinata finally decided to go home. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep for the next few nights and already dreaded the morning training her father always demanded she go through.. But no use crying over spilled milk. She saw the movie. Shikamaru was there. She hadn't dared to do anything, not even glance at him.
Silently cursing she walked home.
Only to come face to face with the root of all of her problems.
"W-what are you doing here, Shikamaru-san?" Hinata silently congratulated herself on almost-not-stuttering.
The Nara muttered something almost incohorent, but having known Neji her whole life, being far relatives with Sasuke and having stalked Naruto for the better part of her life, Hinata understood what he had said.
"Geez, I wait here for four hours and I get chased away.."
"A-ano", the Hyuga started, "you came here straight after we parted?" It sounded much more pathetic than it had felt, so Shikamaru stayed silent, mentally cursing the heat rising to his face. He turned his gaze away.
It was clear to her that he didn't intend to claridy his reason on waiting for her at the Hyuga gates, so she changes tactics.
"Would you like to come in for some tea?" she offered like a proper hostess would, quickly glancing at his face but turned away soon after.
"No thanks, I should be heading home.." he said, walking past her at the same time.
"A-ano!" Hinata collected all her courage to turn to face him and exclaim. Shikamaru stopped and looked at her over his shoulder. A sudden wind ruffled through her indigo hair, giving her a bit of privacy to fight down the blush that was rising to her face.
"Thank you.. for worrying.. though you probably think I'm troublesome – I mean, with all that's happened – I'm glad that you took the trouble – it probably was pretty obvious that I'm not used to watching horror movies – eh.." Hinata stopped dead, realizing she had been rambling.
"It's just that.. no-one's ever said that they're.." Shikamaru said, trying to defend his actions or just rambling, he didn't know, "..jealous of me."
Silence followed: both sensed the uneasy atmosphere that had landed on the two of them. Finally Shikamaru took the indicative, "Ja", and began to walk away.
"Shikamaru-san!" Something made Hinata call after him again. She didn't wait for him to turn to her this time too – he probably wouldn't anyway, he had troubled himself enough for one night – to see her cherry blush, so she continued, hoping she wouldn't overstep any boundaries.
"I-I'll see you tomorrow?"
Unbestknown to Hinata, a small smile touched Shikamaru's lips.
"Yea, sure."
** two years later **
"I'll see you tomorrow?" She pecked his cheek, the infamous blush rising to her face.
He grinned at the nostalgic question. It was that line that led to the situation they were in right now: engaged, soon to be married. She would become a Nara, and thus would escape the oppressive life she led in the shadow of her father and sister.
"Yes, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that. How many times do I have to say it?"
"G-gomen.." Shikamaru was glad to notice that her tone held none of the former shame and submission she had been known for.
"Nah, it's okay.. just don't take it as far as my mom", he said and visibly shuddered, "that'd be scary.." He stole another kiss before letting his fiancée go. She giggled, greeted the guards and stepped into the Hyuga compound.
She turned around to blow him one final kiss before the gates closed.
*
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