Finding Hope
Summery: A newborn vampire wakes up alone in the woods after her transformation with no idea who she is or where she's from. With no one to teach her, she tries to find her answers, confused and alone. Trying to find out who she is and what she is.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its concepts and characters and never claimed that I did. I'm not Stephenie Meyer, nor will I ever be. But I hope you like this and review.
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Mississippi 1920
The world was dark, so dark, but the nineteen year-old girl in the forest stayed on the forest floor with her eyes closed using her other senses to better judge. The scents around her were incredible; grasses, water, rain, springtime, roses, lilacs, daisies, sunlight, moss.
Animals in the forests and every heartbeat, birds chirping in the trees, and every flap of there wings, water flowing down a small stream or river nearby. The girl sighed, before a face suddenly reached the forefront of her mind. A handsome man with honey blonde hair, and dark red eyes, his pale skin marked strangely in crescent shaped scars. The girl frowned in confusion wondering how someone so handsome could have so many horrid scars on his skin. He seemed to be watching her. He was so beautiful, the most beautiful thing the girl had ever seen, the only thing that the girl could remember seeing. She knew just by looking at the image that they were meant to be together.
She reached forward grabbing for him, and she opened her eyes and gasped at the world of color surrounding her. This was different. She didn't know how she knew this but she did. She wasn't supposed to see things this way, so clear and bright, and vivid. But it felt natural to her.
She was suddenly on her feet, in a crouch as she took in the sights around her. She lifts her arm and sparkles danced off the surface of her flawless skin. What was she?
She knew the strange glittering of her skin wasn't normal. She decided to get out of the light and follow the strange scent around her. Just hoping that it could lead to her answers; tell her how to stop the horrible burning in the back of her throat that was becoming more unbearable by the minute. She followed the two, no three, intertwining scents, but she knew that they were a couple days old, possibly older. The girl walked into the shade of the nearby tree and gasped when she noticed the sparkles disappeared. No sunlight, no sparkle, her skin was now just a pale white. She looked around in confusion searching for the strange new musical sound that she had heard.
Was that her voice?
She made her vocal cords vibrate again; bringing the handsome young mans face to the front of her mind, saying the first thing that came to her mind when she saw him, "beautiful," she sighed. Before giggling in surprise when she heard the high, beautiful notes and sound of music in her voice, like twinkling bells or wind chimes.
Forgetting about the burn for the moment, putting it farther back in her mind, she decided to look for the beautiful man. Who was he? Did she know him? Did he know what happened to her? The girl had so many questions and had none of the answers.
Following the sounds of flowing water in the distance, seeming nearby to her ears but she knew that it was farther away then she thought, she listened to the rushing water hitting the rivers bank. The girl followed the sound, and found herself running, whipping by the trees. This wasn't normal. She couldn't have been able to move that fast or see this clearly, or hear the things that she could, but she did.
Again a strange sight approached her in her mind and she saw herself, somehow she knew that the woman in the image was her, coming upon the river and looking into the churning water. But she could still feel the wind against her skin; her feet were barely touching the ground so she knew she was still running.
Where did the image come from? Was it a memory? No, the only thing she could remember was blackness, a feeling of loneliness and fear but underlining hope. She remembered hope.
But that didn't answer her question; her skin gleamed in the sunlight, like diamonds. She remembered diamonds, such pretty stones sparkling rainbows in the light like her skin in the sunlight. Was she diamond? No that wasn't right, it didn't sound right. So what was she? And what was that strange image she saw?
She came to a halt, considering. Maybe if she could remember her name. She knew that everyone had a name. It was a part of life. Maybe with a name she could find her answers.
The girl thought long and hard. What was her name?
Maybe if she could see her face. She hadn't seen it in the strange pictures she saw but she knew that it must have been what she was looking for in the murky, rushing river water. So she continued forward going slower, hesitant. Unsure about what was going to happen.
She came upon the river, and stopped, she saw smoke rising in the distance miles away, was she near a town or city. Did it use to be her home? The girl was confused.
She approached the river bank slowly as she stepped out of the shadows caused by the trees and walked into the sunlight, her skin shining again. She approached the river and looked down, her image was distorted but she was suddenly back in the covers of the trees when she saw glowing vivid, blood read eyes. Set in a flawless beautiful face of a young woman. A woman who's skin sparkled.
Was that women her. Eyes weren't supposed to be red, especially not that color red. Red eyes weren't normal, but then again, the beautiful man had red eyes. Maybe they were similar. It seemed much more likely that he would have the answers to some of her questions.
Approaching the river slowly, like it was an injured animal that would bolt at the second of any sudden movements. The girl slowed down her pace, clutching her hands into fists. This was the only way she could find some of her answers.
She breathed in the scents of the air around her. Not needing to breathe, that was something else that wasn't normal. And it just caused to her ask more questions.
What was she?
Who was she?
Who was that man?
She still had no answers so she approached the river bank again. She leaned over looking into the water, but suddenly the image changed and her skin was darker and her eyes were brown like mud or tree bark and were no longer red. Her hair was inky black and fell down her back in waves, such long beautiful hair. She wasn't as beautiful as she was now but she knew that image was of who she used to be.
She lifted her hand to her head, grasping at hair that was no longer there. Her hair was short, too short. Who had cut her beautiful long hair? Why had they done it? Was she the one that had done it? No, she never would have cut her hair. Someone else must have done it for her, and they had to have done it against her will.
The girl shook her head; every time she tried to remember her past and who she was, all that she remembered was blackness and those feelings.
Standing, she wandered down the bank, sticking to the forest and shadows. She had seen another of those strange pictures that allowed her to see the future, and she knew that if anyone in the towns nearby were to see her only burning and pain were in her future. She didn't want to be torn and burned, ever.
She was looking for still water or one of those glass sheets that she had seen her old reflection of before in, she knew that had been her only memory, but it was so blurry now, but it was the only clue she had of her identity before she had become this.
Did she have a family?
If she did, did they miss her?
Or was she alone in the world with no one looking for her, no one who cared about her?
The answers she might never know if she couldn't remember who she used to be. What was her name?
The question had been floating in her mind as she walked. The burning flame that she had tried to ignore became more painful. She couldn't ignore it. She was thirsty. But thirsty for what she wasn't sure. She had thought about drinking the water but saw that that would bring her no relief like it would have in her old life.
She sniffed the air and she caught the most amazing aroma: like fresh grass and cranberries but better, more mouthwatering. She wasn't sure what caused the scent but she knew that whatever it was, it would bring her the relief for the burn in her throat that she needed.
Running toward the scent at unbeatable speeds, the girl flew through the forest like a ghost her bare feet never seeming to touch the ground. She could hear a beating noise, and breathing. The rustling sound of clothing or cloth rubbing against each other as the source moved.
The girl didn't even pause as she reached the source of the noise; her mouth already filled with venom, and bounced sinking her teeth into whatever it was sucking greedily. It was so good and the burning cooled and soothed but she needed more. Much more, she sighed.
The girl opened her eyes for the first time, she had let her instincts take over and now below her was the body of a dead women. Her face deathly pale and she was no longer breathing. Her eyes were wide open and the vivid blue was already losing its color as her eyes and pupils clouded.
She had done this. She had killed this woman. The girl stepped back in shock. That wonderful liquid was the women's blood. She had just drunk blood. She knew that she should have felt sick but she just wanted more.
No, she couldn't. She had just killed an innocent human. A human, something she wasn't. She had a faint memory of hearing about blood-drinking monsters. Was that what she was? Was she a vampire; a monster that killed and drank the blood of its victims?
It was so wrong, and the girl knew this, but the burning in her throat made itself known. She needed more blood. She didn't want it. Now knowing what it was that she craved, but she needed it.
The girl almost turned and left the body where it was, not wanting to look and see what she had done. But the second she thought about leaving she once again saw the burning and tearing, along with the image of dark cloaked figures.
The girl held her breath, not wanting to make another mistake if another human was nearby. She wouldn't have been able to control herself if she smelt more blood. She debated, trying to understand the meaning of her vision. Was that going to be her punishment for killing this woman? Death. Was that the cloaked figures job?
The girl rocked back and forth, just for something to do as she thought. She thought that the action felt familiar and that comforted her as she thought about her strange vision. It didn't make sense. If the figures were human then surely she could have killed them, she had no trouble killing the women. Although, she never would have killed her if she had the made the conscious choice not too. She knew she was much stronger then humans. She had snapped the woman's arm when she had jumped on her. She had broken her bone with her bare hands, even though she was slightly smaller then the women. The woman's skin felt soft and vulnerable, while hers felt hard and invincible.
She wanted to know who the cloaked figures were. She knew that if she simply left that they would come after her. So what had she done wrong? She closed her eyes and thought hard trying to bring the images back.
The figures had to be other vampires. It was the only conclusion that the girl could come to. But why would vampires want to kill her for killing this woman. She thought again of the first time she saw the figures when she had walked by the river hidden in the trees.
Was it because she could have been seen? Did they not want humans knowing that vampires existed? That had to be it didn't it. They didn't want their kinds, her kinds, existence to be found out. As she thought about it some more it made sense. She couldn't leave any evidence. If she did, she would be killed.
The newborn vampire got to her feet. Hearing the rustle of fabric and seeing blood on her clothes, which weren't much of clothes after all. Just a white gown, a nightgown that barely covered her knees, covered in the woman's blood, like the color of her eyes. The girl felt like disappearing again, she had the eyes of a demon, the devil. Satan's eyes.
She needed to change. She looked over at the women. Her dress was about her size, maybe a little too long. The girl walked over to her; there was barely any blood on it. So she slowly stripped the women down to her underwear. Leaving her corset and undergarments and only taking the clothes.
The girl slipped the nightgown over her head, and bunched it into a pile near her feet. She slipped on the dress, and although she wasn't wearing a corset, she didn't feel that she wanted to wear one. So she put on the woman's blue dress, looking at the woman's shoes as the newborn looked down at her pale, bare feet.
She slipped off the woman's stocking and shoes and slid them on herself. They were a bit big, but that didn't bother her too much. She just didn't want to trip over the dress. Which was still longer then she expected. Leaning over, she tore the bottom off the dress off hearing the tear of the ripping fabric.
The dress was a much more reasonable length now for her size.
She looked down at the dead woman in remorse and guilt. But she had to make it look like an accident. She tore the woman's throat, making sure you couldn't see the bite mark; it simply looked like her thought had been slit with a dull knife.
She could make it look like a rape gone wrong, but how was that going to explain the lack of blood. She could move the body, but it still wouldn't explain the lack of blood on the women and her wounds.
She felt lost. Not knowing what to do now. She can throw the women in the river and use the water as the reason for the lack of blood. That idea seemed better, as she saw an image of herself safe from harm, so she lifted the body and her old nightgown in her arms, and when she was a good distance away. She put the body on the ground and dragged her through the forest leaving a trail before dragging the women to the waters edge. With one last look the girl pushed the body into the water and watched it being dragged down the river.
Walking in the other direct, following the river upstream, she began to run, and when she found a large boulder, she lifted it easily and hid her bloody gown beneath it hoping no one would find it.
She disappeared farther into the forest and away from civilization. She didn't want to be a killer. She wanted to find another way.
Still not knowing her name the vampire ran for miles, heading north. North where she wasn't sure but anyplace was better then here, wherever here was.
The young vampire ran through the forest for miles, the sun lowering. She had an advanced warning when ever a human was nearby. She had concluded that she could see the future. But she wasn't sure if all vampires could do that or if it was just her.
As she ran she tried hard to remember her name. She tried to bring up any memories but they were all so black and she just couldn't remember. Maybe if she could look at her reflection in would come to her.
Knowing that it was worth a try, she changed direction slightly. Knowing her path was going to lead her to a small pond, nowhere near any humans. Which made the girl pleased? She vowed to herself to not drink any more human blood. She expected to make mistakes. But with her vision she hoped that she could catch them before someone else lost there life. She never wanted to be a monster or a killer. And now she was both because of what she was. But it wasn't who she was. She knew that.
Increasing her speed slightly as she approached the pond from her vision, it was small, and surrounded by vegetation and wild flowers.
The sun had already set. And she looked up to the sky, seeing thousands or millions of twinkling lights, stars, she remembered. The moon looked silver, and she could see craters on the surface. The night sky was beautiful. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen the sky. Or maybe she never had.
The moon on the pond surface was lovely, and the girl was breathless. She felt calm and soothed by the night sounds, nocturnal animals just waking up. Smiling the girl got on her knees on the side of the pond, looking into the calm surface, and she felt like she was looking into a mirror.
She already knew about her eyes. Which she knew a very bright red, they almost seemed to glow. Her skin looked even more deathly pale. But she guessed that was what she was now, she was dead, immortal. Her heart no longer beat; blood didn't flow through her veins.
Signing, the girl looked at herself. Her skin was flawless, light purple shadows where under her eyes. Her features were perfect and she was beautiful. She couldn't deny that she was very beautiful.
Her hair was black, a very short inky black, the color of night. The hair framed her face and as she lifted her hand to her hair, she realized that it would never become long like it used to. She was dead. Hair didn't grow. She wouldn't grow. She will never age.
An old memory of her human self came back, and with it her name. Someone, she couldn't make out the voice and she couldn't see the persons face. She was in the dark. But she definitely heard a name.
Her name, she was absolutely certain.
She said the name out loud, it sounded right.
"Alice."
She said it again looking into her reflection. Whispering the words, her name swarming around in her head, she had remembered her name.
"My name is Alice."
She giggled before leaning back against a tree and closing her eyes. Her name was Alice. And even though she didn't have a last name to go with it, it didn't matter to her she remembered her name.
Alice stayed by the pond all night listening to the sounds around her. It was peaceful and exactly what she needed.
Her thirst was getting worse, but she didn't want to be a monster. She didn't want to kill. If there was any other way to get rid of the burn she would do it. But she refused to become a monster and to kill people. She didn't even need the blood. It's not like she could die from starvation.
Alice didn't even want to die anyway. she liked her new life, or was it existence, besides the fact that she needed blood, and be a murderer, she enjoyed being a vampire.
She didn't need to sleep and didn't become tired. Maybe she could find out more about herself. She had her name. She could get answers, find out about her family. Although she knew she was never going to see them again. She'd kill them even if she found out who they were. This seemed unlikely. She couldn't remember where she was from or even if she had any family left. How was she supposed to even track down a family that she knew nothing nor remembered nothing about? And maybe not knowing would be better.
Alice also wanted to look for the beautiful blonde vampire. She was still waiting for another vision to see if she could find out where he was and go find him. She was starting to fall in love with him. She knew that they were going to end up together she just didn't know when that would be.
She continued north, avoiding all contact with civilization. That was when she had her second vision of the beautiful man. He was talking to another vampire, a woman, and it was dark out, night time. The women he was with had dark brown, maybe black hair. She looked to be of another ethnic group, Mexican or Spanish but her skin was pale.
Was the man with this woman in Mexico? Maybe, Alice conceded, or at least down south.
She thought about heading to him, meeting him. But she could see that he wasn't ready to meet her yet and that her presence would only put her in danger. No, going to this man right now wasn't a good idea.
Alice climbed up the side of a tree and sat on a branch, letting her legs dangle beneath her. Her eyes closed as she watched the vision continue to play out.
The woman, who Alice heard was called Maria, was talking to the male, asking him to do something for her, to get everyone ready. Ready for what Alice didn't know but Maria didn't specify farther so Alice left the little mystery be.
Alice watched as Maria nodded, or at least she was going too. The blonde smiled at her, nodding a conformation.
Maria gave a slight nod back. "Thank you, Jasper," before she ran off. Alice allowed the vision to fade.
"Jasper," she murmured testing it out. She smiled crookedly dazzling, "what a beautiful name."
Alice continued to northward direction going at a slower pace. She wanted to enjoy herself. Have fun. She needed to wait until Jasper was ready to meet her. Not a moment before. Timing mattered. That of which Alice was certain.
The burn was still constant, and Alice couldn't stand it. She just wanted the pain to end, but not at the expense of another. There had to be another way.
She saw another vision of Jasper and he had a new scar on his neck. A bite mark Alice had discovered. She wasn't sure why other vampires were attacking the beautiful man, but she knew she could ask him about it when she met him, if she didn't see the answer herself.
As she watched Jasper she could see sadness in his eyes. He was sad, pained and depressed. But Alice wasn't sure why. Yet, as time went on he just continued to confuse her farther.
She knew it was a great accomplishment not to have attacked another living soul in days or had it been weeks. Time seemed to matter little to her. And as she didn't need to sleep, Alice had busied herself with thoughts of Jasper.
It was while Alice had been thinking of Jasper, wanting to find a way to deal with his pain, that she had another vision.
There were another two vampires, blonde man and a younger boy. They were both vampires, but their clothes were too nice, as if they hadn't been traveling in the wilderness long.
The younger vampire, had strange hair, Alice would call it copper, the color of a penny. But what surprised the newborn even more was when she saw their eyes. They were gold. Vampires shouldn't have gold eyes, should they?
Her eyes were red, but what had caused the eye color to change in these two vampires because obviously they were vampires. They moved like on, and they were pale like one. So they had to be vampires. What else was there?
Both of the vampires in the vision remained silent, seeming pleased with the others company. Comfortable enough to be around each other and to trust each other, like close friends or family.
What are they doing? Alice thought as she watched the scene play out like one of those silent films.
She soon got her answer as both the vampires slowed and separated, going in opposite directions seeming to both be following something. But Alice didn't know what.
Continuing to see what the blonde, older male was doing. Although he wasn't too old he only looked several years older then the other vampire boy he was accompanying who seemed to be about her age when he was changed.
Alice watched transfixed on the image as the handsome blonde vampire crouched and sprung. Right on top of a very large deer!
Giving a slight gasp, Alice watched in her mind as the vampire snapped the deer's neck in one swift snap and his teeth sunk through the animal's fur and skin swiftly.
Having her answer, Alice jumped up excited. She could drink the blood of animals! And obviously animal blood made those vampires eyes gold. Gold eyes weren't as scary as red ones. And she didn't have to kill people; she didn't have to be a monster or a murderer.
Alice decided to test it out. She remembered hearing a couple of heart beats a while back along with the less appealing scent of deer. Following her instincts Alice ran in the direction she knew that the deer was going. She planned to ambush it. So Alice waited in the branch of a tree, stalking the animal like a panther. With the grace and agility of one as well as she waited.
She breathed in the scent. It didn't hold a candle to the scent of human blood. But she didn't want to kill people. Animals were okay. Humans ate animals. She should be able to drink their blood.
The single doe walked into the clearing, grazing on the grass. Not even noticing the presence of the small vampire in the tree waiting. After the deer had lets its guard down, Alice sprung. Hoping on the deer's back and snapping its neck with small pale fingers.
Alice could feel the warmth coming form the animal's skin and could feel the warm blood in its veins. She bit down into the animal's fur and through the skin to the jugular vein in the doe's neck. She sucked greedily; glad that the blood seemed to soothe her throat, even if the blood didn't taste as rich or as sweet as humans blood this was still the better option. The blood tasted slightly bitter to her.
When Alice had finished the last drop of warm blood, she looked down at the dead animal in accomplishment. She had done it. She knew she didn't need human blood she just needed blood.
Finally looking down at herself the female vampire noticed all the fur on her dress and the blood. Taking down the deer had been messier then she would have expected.
She hid the deer beneath a boulder, hiding her bite mark as she tore at the dead herbivores neck. Alice placed the boulder, with the deer underneath, back where it was and left.
Taking another deep breath of the air around her she could catch the scent of another animal nearby. It seemed even better then the deer and Alice took off without a second thought, seeing the image of her heading in the direction of a bear, a black bear.
Alice speed up excited. Everything was going to be okay. She needed to learn control. She needed to learn to learn to interact with humans. She knew she could do it. But she had to start small. She wanted to gain control and not attack humans. Maybe she could even find the other vampires in her vision, after she found Jasper of course.
Maybe those two can help teach her, even if they didn't know that she was watching. She could learn from them. Find out more about them.
The bear in her sights, Alice growled low in her chest, a sound that startled both her and the bear. But she overcame her surprise quickly and leapt in the air and onto the giant animal.
Wrestling it to the ground she easily killed the bear, which must have been over twice her size. Biting into the bear neck she sucked the blood, that tasted even better then the deer.
Finishing her meal quickly, feeling more satisfied then she had in a while.
After she finished covering her tracks Alice continued forward looking for a place where she could stay out of the rain. The rain wouldn't really bother her like it would a human, but didn't like traveling in wet clothes. She only had the dress and shoes.
Quickly finding a cave, Alice settled until the storm was over. She had hope. She may be alone, but now everything was different, she had a new perspective.
The rain began to fall in large, splattering drops. Alice listened to each individual drop as it hit a surface, whether it was a tree, a rock, a puddle or a rushing river. All the animals had had the same idea as her and gotten out of the rain. The rain washed away all of Alice's troubles and in the dark, lonely cave, the vampire thought and dreamed of a new life. A life that she hoped she could have one day: a new family, a place to call home, surrounded by loved ones.
She dreamed as raindrops continued to fall.
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There will be a continuation of this called Reasons to Hope, and I hope that you will read it. But I can't force you and I won't. I'm just letting you know that there will be a continuation of this story, which will expand on an idea of mine that inspired me to write this.
This was originally going to be and will be the first chapter of Reasons to Hope but it can also be a one-shot. So I made it a one-shot. But again please don't feel obligated to read Reasons to Hope if you don't want too.
Enough about that, I just want to thank you for reading this and giving this a chance. Please tell me what you think and don't be afraid to give constructive criticism. It's called constructive for a reason. So review.
Thanks for reading,
silent