They say words can't hurt. I say that's not true. Words hurt just as much as sticks and stones, if not more. My family relationship is built upon them—words, I mean. When I see them, we don't have the usual exchanges. No, 'Are Aunt Suzie and Uncle Ted coming for Thanksgiving?', 'I haven't seen you in so long! You got so skinny!', 'I love you gramps. Have a good holiday!' None of that. Mostly, it's screaming. You can never get anything out of my father, because he's always got his mouth sucking on a beer bottle. My brother, Ryan, mumbles and stays in his room all the time. My little sister, Jodie, keeps herself secluded from us. She usually just parties, being as there's nothing else for her to do. We don't live with our mother. We haven't come in contact with her for three years. And then there's me. I'm the black sheep of the family—they don't want me. I usually hang with my friends during the day and wind up falling asleep on their couch for the night. Their parents don't mind. And if they do, they're wonderful at hiding it.
I'm not happy. Why should I be? I don't have the picture perfect family—the amazing cook stay at home mom, hardworking, lenient, lax, genius father, beautiful, precious, golden haired daughter, star student son. I don't have the fairytale life some people do.
As I carefully drag the HB2 pencil across the page, a word or two is faded from the tears falling from my sad Cinderella eyes. My story won't have any exclamation points or cutesy little smiley faces. I don't want to live like this anymore. I want my fairy Godmother to come and throw me in a magical pumpkin carriage. I want some prince to whisk me off my feet and ask me for my hand to dance. I want the little birds and mice to hold the train of my dress as I walk down the beautiful elegant steps of the castle. I want to be happy.
So, here it is—my quest for happiness. I traveled for so long to find it. In the beginning, I didn't even know what happiness was. I struggled to find it during the hard times, failing miserably. But after days, weeks, months, even years of for once experiencing love, fun, friends, I now understand.