"Hey guys! I'm a noob! If you don't applause, I will blow your head off!" the noob smiled. A weak clapping noise echoed off the walls. "Someone in the back of the room didn't clap!" the noob points out, and shoots them in the head with a rocket launcher. "Owned. Our contestants are Peach, Daisy, and Toadette! The winner will get a romantic dinner for two at McDonalds with Mario!" The audience starts laughing, thinking it's a joke. The noob fires randomly, killing everyone but Barack Obama. "Missed one!" the noob says, and he finishes it off. The three contestants walk on stage. "What the-" Peach says. "Don't question my madness!" the noob says, and puts the launcher up to Peach's head.
"We have a special guest, the Queen of England!" the Queen comes in and faints because of all the blood. "First question, What is 12X12?" the noob asks. "144!" Daisy says. "-5 points! You have to pick your nose first!" the noob says, and Daisy frowns. "Who is the quarterback of the 49ers?" the noob asks. Toadette tackles him. "+30 points, you killed the fake host!" the speakers boom. Toadette starts dancing around. Peach goes backstage and unties Mario, who is shoved in the makeup room. "Thank-a you! The perfume-a smell was a killing me!" Mario thanks her. "+50 points for finding the host!" the speakers thunder, and Peach is ahead by 20 points, while Daisy is still at -5.
"What is this?" Mario asks, and it's a picture of Mario at the beach doing Gangnam Style. All three of the girls start picking their noses. "What-a the...?" Mario says and stares at the picture he just showed. "Wrong-a one," Mario says, and it's a preschool picture of a stick figure. "A crayon picture by a 3 year old?" Daisy asks. Mario stares at her angrily and removes 10 of her points. "It's my masterpiece! My best painting!" Mario says. Toadette whispers to Peach," THAT's his masterpiece? I wonder what his worst painting is." Peach giggles. "No offending me! -15 for Peach!" Mario says. "B-b-b-but I-" Peach stammers. "No excuses! -10!" Mario says, and Toadette is now winning by 5.
"Well, I'm sorry guys, but rules are rules." Mario says. "What?" Peach says. "NO INTERRUPTING!" Mario says. "Rules state that I automatically win, so I get the gift card and I get to date myself! Also, our rating were too low so the show is cancelled. Peace, suckas!" Mario finishes, and the whole stage explodes. "C4s :3" the noob says, and then dies.