So, this isn't my best writing. It's actually a bit amateur sounding, but there's no way to juggle so many characters without it becoming slightly repetitive. No way that I've discovered, anyway. I'm in love with this still, just because of what it's about. Does that make me sound conceited, because it's my own writing? I hope not.

RedWheeler inspired this one in one of her e-mails to me. I was giggling the whole time I wrote this and I can only hope that it instills the need to giggle in you as well. I think I may have just been high on MaxMariam, as a matter of fact, and a certain quirk of Max's. Aren't you curious now?

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade.

Enjoy!

Your Secret Isn't Safe

He always said she had nice legs and he was always slapped across the face and called perverted. Then, he would wake up. And each time he woke up he would look quickly around to make sure no one had heard him say whatever one says when they dream, and then compose himself, settling down to sleep once more.

You see, Max Tate had a secret that he didn't want anyone to find out. If it came to light, his life would become doubly complicated and he'd no longer be the person everyone thought he was. That's for sure.

Max liked legs.

Oh, yeah, puberty had hit him bad. Not as bad as it could have, he reminded himself over and over. Take Tyson for instance. Max had caught him skirt-watching countless times. Michael, Eddy, and occasionally Steve took to hanging out in local hotspots and and sizing up the girls they saw. They distributed ratings and everything. Even Ray had started looking as if he feels really uncomfortable when Mariah bounds up to him and throws herself against him in a haphazard hug. Yes, Max's situation wasn't as bad as it could be, but it was about to get much, much worse.

"How about Julia?" Steve asked as he observed the girl playing volleyball against her brother. She was beating him badly, too, by the looks of it.

"She's the ten we told you about," Michael replied, admiring her...serve. "She's got a killer figure and a fiery temperament – that was our favorite combination when we met her at the Championships."

"We may have to dock a point or two for her calling us vain, gay, pompous, and accusing us of belittling women, though," Eddy added, looking away quickly when Julia looked their way. "Such a shame. She's really the only girl around here that's worthy of a ten."

Michael nodded ruefully and Steve felt compelled to join in, even though he'd been absent from their last few "Girl Ratings". He was pretty sure that when they told him to break a leg before that football game that they hadn't meant it literally. Oh, well – they'd been too busy checking out cheerleaders to see him go down and Judy found a replacement soon enough. Still, he was a little miffed that he'd missed the entrance of the first ever ten-worthy girl. Then again, Mike and Eddy were benched – the had had nothing better to do with their time.

"Are you guys doing that stupid rating thing again?" Emily appeared beside them with her arms crossed disapprovingly. "You know Judy doesn't like that and I don't either. It's disgusting and rude. Plus, I know for a fact that Julia couldn't care less if she was a ten or a zero and she despises all three of you for being such idiots."

"Technically, we're not rating anybody." Eddy looked up at her from his towel. "We've already rated every girl here. Right now we're waiting for our new shipment to show themselves." He grinned lopsidedly as his friends laughed, appreciative of his wording. They all knew it would annoy Emily to no end.

"Don't call a group of girls a shipment!" Emily exclaimed in apparent horror. "It's your first time meeting them – they won't want to be ogled at and spoken about like they're cleverly executed dives! You disgust me!" She stomped away with her nose in the air. Off to tell Hilary how horrid guys were, no doubt.

Meanwhile Eddy, Michael, and Steve were all cracking up. Emily was always quick to get angry over their treatment of the female population. They knew just what to say to get on her nerves and they enjoyed every minute of it. But they never really did the girls they rated any harm, so they had no idea what Emily thought was so wrong about their system.

"Just because she's a four she hates the whole idea," Michael said with a chuckle. "If she were a ten she wouldn't have the slightest problem with it."

"Probably not," Eddy agreed. He sighed and laid back on his beach towel. "Unfortunately we'll probably never see another ten for as long as we live. There's just no hot girls around anymore who aren't so obviously plastic."

"Well, maybe if we age as best as we can we can pick up a college volunteer in the nursing home," Michael suggested, throwing himself into another fit of laughter. "Because all the hot girls volunteer at nursing homes in their spare time."

Eddy joined in the laughter. "I'm sure by that time any girl under eighty will be a ten in our eyes."

As Michael and Eddy amused themselves with visions of their (apparently very eventful) future in the nursing home, Steve's eyes were drawn to the other side of the beach where their hotel opened up right onto the sand. Max had just come waltzing out with a girl who Steve had never seen before. He figured she must be one of the new ones.

She was pale, but not sickly with a nice figure and long, blue hair. When she turned around the sun illuminated her green eyes and reflected off of her gold earrings. It was safe to say that she was one of the most gorgeous people on the beach. Heck, she was one of the most gorgeous people Steve had ever seen. They definitely didn't make them like that in America. But was she ten-worthy?

"-and we'll rate them on how cool the tennis balls on their walkers are and how many great-grandchildren they have!"

"Guys?"

"Yeah, and if their hair's extra blue that's a plus." Michael and Eddy were finding way too much amusement in their little game. Whoever introduced those two to imagination had a lot to answer for.

"Hey, guys!" Steve spoke louder this time. "You don't suppose Max's little friend is a ten, do you?"

"Huh?"

"Who?"

Steve pointed to where Max was talking to the new specimen. "Her. The one with Max."

Both of his friends turned their heads in Max's direction and squinted to make his new companion out. They took a while scoping her out and Steve was afraid that the sun had played a trick on him, causing him to imagine her immense beauty. When was the last time he hydrated? If they turned around and laughed at him he'd move to one of those places where it was perpetually night and denounce the sun altogether.

"To quote Paris Hilton," Michael said, "that's hot. Really hot."

"Ten?" Steve crossed his fingers. What a great way to reintroduce himself to their group, spotting the second ever ten.

"Nine," Eddy decided, "until we talk to her. If she's feisty, she's a ten. C'mon!"

They walked as casually and as quickly as possible over to where they'd seen the soon-to-be-ten last, but by the time they got there they were out of luck. When they had gotten caught up in the Fernandez twins' game of volleyball by concentrating too hard on their destination and not looking where they were going, they'd missed the mystery girl leave. Only Max remained seated at a picnic table staring off into the distance dreamily.

"Darn," Eddy groaned. "Now we'll never find out if she's feisty."

Michael followed Max's gaze and smiled slyly. "We may find out something much more interesting, my friend." He pulled Steve and Eddy into a huddle, and together they formulated a plan.

"Well, hello, Max!" Michael exclaimed flamboyantly as he and his two partners in crime sauntered up to the picnic table. "What are you doing sitting all the way over here all by your lonesome?"

"Hm?" Max didn't look in their direction, but shrugged his shoulders, which the AllStarz took as an open invitation to join him. They sat tapping their toes on the ground, drumming their fingers on the tabletop, and looking around as if everything interested them. Then they pretended to have just noticed Max's incessant staring.

"Hey, buddy, whatcha looking at?" Eddy attempted to follow his gaze even though he already knew what captivated him so.

Steve nudged Max with his elbow. "Is it a girl, by any chance?"

"Is it that girl?" Michael pointed to the one they'd seen him with earlier. Said girl was currently taking her hair down and shaking it to loosen it up. It was the kind of thing that would make a classic slow motion scene in a coming of age moving where a dopey teenage boy gets his first glimpse of the girl he'll spend the rest of his life with. What a sappy story.

Max blushed, taken aback. "It's...erm...no one."

"What's her name?" Eddy looked like he was truly enjoying himself. Making Max squirm was almost as fun as annoying Emily.

"She doesn't have a name, because there's no girl! Leave me alone." Max got up and tried to leave, but Steve and Eddy grabbed his shoulders pushed him back down as they were sitting on either side of him.

Michael leaned forward over the table with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Yes there is. She has blue hair, green eyes, and a killer body."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Max now looked like he had a really bad sunburn.

"Why don't you introduce her to us?" Steve waggled an eyebrow.

"I-"

"C'mon! You know better than to try and hide your girlfriend from us. We have ways of finding out about her, you know."

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Oh, so she exists now, does she?"

"Yes. No. Ugh!" He slammed his head down on the table and buried it in his arms, utterly defeated. "You guys suck."

Michael grinned and leaned down to speak right in Max's ear. "Now that we got that out of you, maybe there's something else you'd like us to know. Like her name, perhaps?"

"And why you're so madly in love with her." Max's head snapped up as Rick walked up behind Michael, obviously fresh out of the ocean. "Spit it out."

"I'm not madly in love with Mariam!" Max tried and failed to make it sound like it was the most insane idea on the face of the earth. When he saw that none of his friends bought his outright denial, he added, "That's, just..."

"True," Rick stated bluntly. "You can't deny it – you've been drooling over her for ages, following her around like a lost puppy. Just admit that you've finally grown up a bit and are obsessed with that girl."

"Mariam," Michael added.

"I just haven't seen her in a while, is all," Max practically whined, begging with his eyes for them to believe him.

"So you feel the need to start at her butt?" All Steve's team members looked at him, flabbergasted. "Well, he sure wasn't looking at her face. Even from this distance that much is obvious."

"I wasn't looking at her butt!" Max defended, his blush darkening even more if possible. "I was looking at her...nothing."

All four of Max's friends exchanged glances and that alone made him nervous. In questioning Max they'd found a hidden jewel of information that none of them had expected. Four smiles worked their way onto four faces.

"What part of her body were you looking at, then?"

Max shifted uncomfortably. His eyes moved from side to side, hoping to find some escape, for someone to come and rescue him. No one did.

"Answer the question, Max."

He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, desperate to be somewhere, anywhere else.

"Max, what were you looking at?!"

"If he's not going to tell us, we can just assume it was her butt and go tell his mommy about this exciting development." Michael's threat got him exactly where he was trying to go.

"No! She'd never leave my side again! She'd probably make me talk to a therapist, or go to a confession, or apologize to Mariam, or something even worse the only the cruelty a mother calls love could cause her to think up!"

"Then what were you looking at?!"

"Her legs, okay?! I was looking at her legs! I have a little bit of a thing for legs! Is that okay with you?!"

Again Michael, Rick, Steve, and Eddy made eye contact. Then came the laughter. They were all clutching their stomachs and crying already, looking like a bunch of lunatics. Max glared at them all angrily. Not only were they making him really want them to die, but they were making a scene. Pretty soon the whole beach would know his secret just because they couldn't control their laughter.

"I'm leaving!"

"No – wait!" Eddy gasped out as they followed Max, who was trying to walk away with some dignity.

"A thing for legs?!" Steve laughed uproariously. This was the best day of his life. And probably the worse day of Max's. What an unexpected, hilarious, development.

"It's not that funny!" Max sounded really peeved, but that only made the situation funnier.

"Y-yes it is!" Rick was laughing more in those few minutes than he usually did in a week. It was safe to say that he had finally lost it. Why, at all possible moments, had the one who usually stuck up for Max chose right now to turn on him?

Max growled and clenched his fists. "So what?! I couldn't get away without telling you! You guys always gang up on me and it's not fair! Why does it matter if I like legs and Mariam has a particularly nice pair?! You just like to get under my skin!"

"Um – Max?"

"What?!" he whipped around and his anger melted away into embarrassment. "Mariam?" His voice was small and meek.

"Gotta go," Michael laughed even harder and led the stampede away from Max and his awkward moment. Max glared intensely as they left.

"Max?" He turned sheepishly around to face Mariam. "A particularly nice pair?"

A/N: Ta-da! I made a few edits while I was typing to make it seem less noob-ish.

Has anyone ever laughed at someone who was really angry, but their anger made the whole thing even funnier? It happens to me all the time. Usually it's with my sister.

Review?