Probably Wouldn't Be This Way
"Hey Nathan." Brooke started out tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. "I just wanted to see how you were doing, you know let you know what was going on with me" She smiled, "I hope you don't mind but I've got a date next Friday with the local preachers son Chase. He's cute but he's not you. Who would have thought that I'd be dating a clean teen." Brooke chuckled, she paused a second and took a deep breath before speaking again, "From what I hear around town he's crazy. Apparently he's big into to skate boarding and crazy stunts, but he's also a bartender. We'll see where that goes…So sorry its been so long since I saw you last. I finally moved to Jackson like we always talked about. I waited for summer to come so Lucas could help me move without worrying about his students. Anyways, looks like we won't have to pay the neighbors boy to rack our leaves will we." She smiled. Brooke sighed she really couldn't help it as a few tears slipped out her eyes, "You probably think I'm rambling that I'm going on and on. Ha, seems I'm catching myself doing that a lot lately. I just can't keep my thoughts straight.
You know it probably wouldn't be this way, I wouldn't hurt so bad. I never dreamed of it this way. In all the scenarios I thought of with our future I never picture every minute with out you in it. Its scary to think that one minute you were there and then the next you were gone. Sometimes I can look up and see you standing there, and I can reach out and I can feel you. There's times when you're here and it seems so real and I'll spend all day with you. I can feel myself slowly losing touch with you, and it scares me. It hurts so bad. But then when I think back, I feel so lucky that I had the chance to love you this much, to experience this powerful of a love. I've started asking for God's grace, to move on, to make it as if I've never seen your face. Probably shouldn't be this way." Brooke wiped away a few stray tears.
She let out a light laugh, "I tried talking to Victoria about this, but she said I just shouldn't speak to you and gave me the number for a "good shrink". I hate her sometimes, it's like she just doesn't understand me. Peyton thinks I should just move on and forget you all together. Yeah, let me say the same thing to her if this happened to her and Lucas, she'd laugh in my face."
Brooke looked up and around at all the people staring at her, then back at Nathans tomb stone. She reached out and touched the edge before continuing.
"You should see the way all these people here are looking at me, as I talk to your stone. They must think I'm crazy and that I've lost my mind. And I guess a part of me has, but I just take it day by day. I know your there when I'm home and thinking of you or when I'm here talking to you. I feel you, I feel your angel touch. Let people think I'm crazy. I know the truth, I still love you." Brooke touched her fingers to her lips then reached out and touched Nathans tomb stone.
It had been a year since Nathan had left the house that October morning for work. A year since he was hit by a drunk driver, and a year since he died. Brooke took a deep shaking breath before standing up.
"I love you Nathan Scott, see you soon." She smiled weakly before walking to her car and making the trip back to Jackson, Alabama from Tree Hill, North Carolina.