A shout out to all the aces in the ML fandom, this is my gift to you :)
Just a quick note on Adrien's identity, in this story he's asexual, heteroromantic and has zero interest in sex.
I may or may not turn this into a multi-fic story, haven't decided yet. Let me know what you think :)
Adrien rubbed his tired eyes and sighed into the murky darkness of his bedroom. He needed to stop doing this to himself. He lowered his hands and glanced at the time in the corner of the screen, eyes straining against the glare.
2:03am.
It had been Valentine's Day for two whole hours already. He grimaced, how time passes when in a self-deprecating mood.
Adrien turned his focus back to the purple and grey web page and scrolled mindlessly through another forum discussion. The only sounds that could be heard in the otherwise silent room were the soft swiping of his fingers on the trackpad, and Plagg muttering in his sleep on the bed sheets next to him.
He clicked on a new link and flicked through the chat. Usually, some of the personal stories made him feel a bit better but tonight nothing was resonating with him.
He stifled a yawn. He really needed to sleep. There was school tomorrow followed by an evening patrol with Ladybug. But he didn't listen to himself.
He wasted another half an hour reading more responses before finally deciding this truly wasn't doing him any good, physically or mentally, and closed the web page.
Ladybug smiled up at him from his desktop screensaver. He had snapped it whilst they had been chatting on the Eiffel tower one evening after patrol. She was laughing with pure natural joy from something stupid he had said. Her gums were showing, eyes were scrunched and hair was in her face. He thought she looked gorgeous, Ladybug hadn't wholly agreed with him...
"Oh my God, Chat!" Ladybug laughed, "Delete it!" She shoved him playfully.
"But Bugaboo! You look bug-alicious!" He leant in and waggled his eyebrows.
"Pffff!" she giggled and pushed his face away from hers.
"Please? My Lady?" Chat gave her big pleading kitty eyes.
Ladybug rolled her head back before grinning at him, "FINE, you can keep it. But no giving it to the Ladyblog!" she warned him, flourishing a finger.
"My Lady!" Chat said with mock aghast, I would never!"
"Haha, I know."
"I only wish to print it out onto a human pillow."
"WHAT!"
Adrien giggled to himself. Obviously, he had done nothing of the sort. His gut went cold. Obviously. His mood soured.
What was even the point of all this flirting and banter? He loved her, there was no doubt about that, but his definition of love was different to most people's...likely different to Ladybug's...
Adrien slammed his laptop shut. He needed to stop thinking.
Trying not to disturb Plagg, Adrien reached over to place his laptop on the side and turn off his lamp. He placed his finger on the switch before freezing. He looked at the silver ring on his outstretched hand, the yellow lamp light softly illuminating its silver surface. Adrien knotted his brow. He pulled his hand back and, slowly but surely, eased the ring off his ring finger. Plagg stirred but other than that, nothing happened. Adrien released a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding.
He turned the ring over in his palm and examined it.
The forums had all said it should be black...but silver was pretty much grey...and that was one of the main colours...
Adrien didn't move for another minute, conflicted as to whether he should or shouldn't...
His heart beat fast. He was going to do it.
Holding his breath, Adrien lowered the ring onto his middle finger. It fitted perfectly. He released his breath as he flexed his hand and gave a shaky laugh.
He felt some wound up tension inside him dissipate. He had finally taken the first step to accepting himself.
"I," he spoke to the empty room, "I am..." the words died in his throat. This was harder than he thought. He clenched and unclenched his hands, releasing some of the nerves.
"I am...asexual," he said softly, barely above a whisper, but that didn't matter. He had done it.
He smiled wanly.
Suddenly the exhaustion hit him, hard. He felt utterly drained. He hadn't realised what a mental toll this conflict had taken on him, and the rush of relief was...overwhelming.
Swiftly he turned off the lap and curled up tightly under the duvet, his left hand cradling his right. He felt Plagg nestle into his shoulder. Adrien's heart warmed, he felt oddly proud of himself.
For once no negative thoughts floating through his head as he gently drifted off into unconsciousness.
He smiled. Maybe Valentine's Day wouldn't be so bad this year.
I just want to clarify that I'm not saying wearing a ring equals accepting yourself. That was just how Adrien started to come to terms with it. You guys accept yourselves however you want! And don't ever underestimate how important self-love is :)
The website Adrien was scrolling through was AVEN, go check it out if you haven't already.
And to anyone who is struggling to accept themselves or something in their lives (I'm not just talking about orientations here), the going may be slow and tough but... I believe in you :)
Happy Valentine's Day!