Title: Shuttles gone wild!
Warnings: comedy, crack, references to interfacing
Continuity: G1 (part of ultharkitty's Dysfunction AU)
Characters: Blast Off, Vortex, implied Blast Off/Vortex
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing is mine.
Summary: Vortex has a plan, and Blast Off has no intention to participate in it.
Beta: ultharkitty

Note: Written for spacehussy and a pic of her. :)

Shuttles gone wild!

Blast Off crossed his arms and leant back, tilting his head a little. The parted visor reflected light from the ceiling, hiding the optics and their expression.

Although even without seeing them, Vortex knew that Blast Off wouldn't agree to his… proposal.

"And why do you think I would want this?"

That wasn't a no - yet. Behind the battle mask, Vortex grinned. He leaning forward, putting his chin on his hand. "Why not? We could use it as… like a promotional tape or something? I already have a name: 'Shuttles gone wild!' Awesome, eh?"

Vortex earned more blank staring.

"A promotional tape?" That this didn't make sense to Blast Off was as clear in his tone as in the gesture and the huff.

"I mean, c'mon, the whole army thinks you're an uptight spoilsport. You could prove the opposite. Here look."

Vortex looked around in the rec-room, and waved to a conehead. "Hey, Thrust. You think Blast Off here's hot?"

The flyer seemed confused for a moment, then shook his head, his voice loud when he replied. "Eh, keep me out of your slaggin' gestalt stuff!" His vocaliser roared like the engines of his alt-mode, and Vortex saw Blast Off wince at the noise.

Okay, maybe this wasn't the smartest move. "Let's try someone else," Vortex said enthusiastically. He glanced in the direction of a sudden movement, noticing Breakdown sneaking to the energon dispenser.

"Hey, Breaky." Vortex raised his hand again as though greeting an old friend. "C'mere, just wanna ask you something."

The Stunticon froze, stared at the two Combaticons, then looked at the ground and continued his way to the dispenser. More hastily than usual, he took his ration and left the room.

Blast Off huffed, but Vortex wasn't discouraged yet.

"Look," he said with a sigh which was overly dramatic, "they even run from you."

"Sure. I rather think he ran from you. And if you don't mind, I will do the same now." Blast Off shook his head and was about to stand up.

"No. Wait. I mean… c'mon."

"C'mon what? You know me well enough that it makes me almost wonder why you even suggest something like this to me. You really think I want to be filmed while fraggin' you? And then also share the tape with anyone? If so, then you're stupider than I've ever thought."

"That wasn't nice."

"I am not nice."

"And that's the problem."

"Excuse me?"

Vortex leant back, pretending to be hurt. "You're not nice. That's why no one wants to frag you. And that's why you get even more… not nice. You need to show people you can do stuff, you know."

Actually, Vortex didn't want Blast Off to frag anyone but them - team - but he needed something to convince the shuttle. He'd always wanted to see Blast Off fragging him. The thought alone of how that'd look like made his rotors quiver…

"I can do stuff," Blast Off said, tone amused as he leant forward, mimicking Vortex' pose from before. "The people who need to know, know it. And those are probably more than you know."

Oh yes, Blast Off was enjoying this. Vortex wasn't, though. It implied a 'no' to the tape, and Blast Off interfacing with someone who wasn't team. He made a mental note to find out who that was.

"Also," Blast Off added, and shrugged, "If none of them is available, I still can have you whenever I want." And this sounded truly condescending.

It wasn't less true, though, and Vortex hated that the shuttle was right.

"Whenever you want? I can say 'no' too."

A huff, partly amused, partly implying an evil streak that Vortex thought only he had.

"I can't remember you ever did." Blast Off stood up, nodding once as he rounded the table. "I'll be in my room."

Before Vortex could be really angry at the slaggin' shuttle - and himself only a tiny bit - Blast Off passed him, stopping behind him and leaning low.

"Prove it," he rasped, hand on the rotor hub, brushing the metal in a way that made Vortex forget what they were talking about a moment ago. The other's energy field flared, seeping right under his armour and it was all Vortex could do not to moan.

Then Blast Off was gone, and the 'copter remembered. Right… saying no.

Vortex turned a little, just seeing Blast Off's back vanishing through the exit. Not walking after him or jumping at him the moment Blast Off opened the door of his quarters should be easy. It wasn't as though the still lingering touch and tingling anticipation that spread slowly into his rotors was unbearable…

Vortex would just sit there a bit longer and wait till it wore off. After all, the shuttle didn't deserve his attention anyway. He'd declined Vortex' suggestion of being filmed, and if Blast Off interfaced with others anyway, he could do that now.

The 'copter nodded to himself. He wouldn't stand up. The tickling would be gone soon. He surely didn't need more of that. Absolutely not.

Fingers tapped on the table as Vortex shifted a little uncomfortable on the chair, rotor blades still quivering.

Though, he still could prove it some other time that he was able to say 'no', right?

The fingers clenched to a fist, his foot tapped on the ground, and Vortex' tail rotor started spinning slowly.

Right?

Vortex stood up quickly, and ran after Blast Off.