Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything associated with it. If I did I would be a very happy person, which I'm not. tear
Shunned and scorned all because the Fourth Hokage decided to use me to house the Kyuubi. It's his fault. Why didn't he use another child? I ask myself that every night as I "relieve" my stress. If he had chosen another, I might have a normal life. The razor slides effortlessly across my vein, releasing my stress, filling me with pleasure as the blood gushed out for the third time tonight. The sight of the blood fills me with a sick fascination. It disgusts me to the point to where I do it again just below that cut. I moan and fall to my knees. Blood pools around me, my pants soak in it. I lie down on the bathroom floor in my blood. My eyes begin to cloud over as the loss of blood effects me.
Dream
I woke up in a forest. I look around; everyone in the village is crowded around me with torches, kunai, knives, shuriken, and katanas. My arms and legs are tied to pegs driven in the ground. I struggle trying to get free. Someone steps on my chest. It's Iruka. I almost cry in joy. He'll help me. "Not so fast Jinchuuriki. We don't want you to get away and reek more havoc, not before we kill you anyway." The words stung and I visibly flinch. Why would Iruka say that? I thought he cared about me. "I-Iruka," I whimper. His foot leaves my chest and stomps on my wrist, the one I cut. I scream as white-hot pain blinds me. I feel the cuts reopen and begin to bleed unendingly. I almost black out but I wouldn't let myself. My vision clears and I saw Sasuke and Sakura standing over me. They'll help me, I know they will. They're my teammates. "Sasuke…" Sasuke just smirked and pulled out a kunai. My eyes widen. I look at Sakura. "Sakura…" She won't look at me. She can't force herself to. She bends down and tightens the ropes. I hiss in pain as more blood came pouring from the cuts. She finishes and backs away, tears streaming down her face. Tears fall from my eyes also. "Why won't you look at me?" I yell at her. She just shakes her head and runs away. Sasuke's foot collides with my jaw. I hear it shatter into a million little pieces. He kneels beside me and whispers in my ear, "She's too weak to kill another person, but me, I'm not." Sasuke laughs and straightens. He raises the kunai and points it at my chest. "The fourth used you Naruto. He knew this would happen. He deemed you unworthy at birth. And now, you are unworthy at DEATH!" He plunges the kunai into…
End Dream
I wake up in a cold sweat. Images of the dream still flash in front of my eyes. I groan and flex my hand experimentally. The action sends spasms up and down my arm. I bite my lip and sit up. I look around. I was still in my bathroom on the floor in my blood from the night before. I sigh and brush my hair from my eyes. It is matted with blood. "Shit," I say to myself. I try to stand but slip in the congealed blood. I huff and crawl on my hands and knees to the shower and slowly undress. I wash off all the blood and clean up the floor. After that was done I get dressed and bandage my wrist. I can't look at myself in the mirror as I tie my hitai-ate headband. I disgust myself. It's always like this the next morning. I get too disgusted to look at myself which tempted me to grab the razor again. I resist and leave to meet my team.
Today is the first day of the Chunin Selection Exams. I am supposed to meet Sasuke and Sakura in front of the building. I decide to take the shortest route I know. I turn into an alley and hear voices ahead. "Get away from me!" a kid yells. The voice sounds familiar. "Konohamaru!" I rush ahead. I find him lying at the feet of three genins, by the look of them. They aren't from Konoha that's for sure. Their hitai-ate bands show me they're from Sunagakure. I kneel by Konohamaru and ask if he's okay. "Yeah boss. I was playing shinobi and ran into these guys. They wouldn't let me through and that guy's creepy!" He points to one of the Suna-nin. I turn and look at the guy who Konohamaru is pointing at. The guy has face paint and something strapped to his back that reminds me of a mummified body. He gives me a lazy stare and smirks. I stand and get in his face. "Hey! Why were you picking on Konohamaru? What did he do to you?" He just smirks and pushes me out of his way. "The kid ran into me, that's what he did. So I decided to have some fun and scare him. Got a problem?" I growl. "Yes I do. You shouldn't pick on kids when you're visiting another village. Its called common courtesy." He bristles at the comment. "Are you saying I don't have manners?" "That's exactly what I'm saying." He raises his fist but the boy next to him stops him. "No Kankuro. Leave him alone." Kankuro spins around. "Gaara! Why?" Gaara glares at Kankuro and coldly replies, "Because he is a Jinchuuriki. It's Kyuubi isn't it?" I am shocked. How does he know? I nod and ask, "How do you know?" Gaara's face remains emotionless. "I am also a Jinchuuriki, nine tails. The demon in me is Shukaku. They've already acquainted. I can't wait fight you in the exams." Gaara nods to the blonde girl next to him. "Let us go Temari." Temari sends me a glare and follows Gaara. Kankuro glares at Gaara's retreating form for a few seconds. I offer Konohamaru my hand and help him up. He thanks me and runs off to find his friends. I start to leave but Kankuro stops me. "People afraid of you around here because of that demon?" Kankuro folds his arms across his chest. I look at him for a second studying him. "Actually, they're not exactly afraid. They're more angry than anything. They throw things, call names and tell me how… unworthy I am to live in their village," I answer in a whisper. Kankuro shrugs and follows his siblings. I check my watch. "Oh my God! I'm late!" I jump up onto the nearest building and find my bearings. Oh no, Sakura's going to kill me.
She doesn't kill me but she does yell. I tune her out and look around. Everyone here is separating themselves from us because of me. I feel a great urge to pull out a kunai and slice my wrist open once more, just to feel the pleasure of the blood escaping my body. My hand slowly reaches to my kunai pouch. I open it and pull out a kunai. Someone calls my name and snaps my mind back to reality. "Naruto, what are you doing?" Sakura asks me. I look down. My kunai is lain across my wrist, ready to be pulled across. "I…uh, I don't know." I put the kunai away and turn away in embarrassment. "Let's just go." I lead the way to the room that was housing the exam. Inside the proctor, Ibiki, tells us to sit and take out a #2 pencil. He explains what we are to do but I don't listen. I lie my head on my desk and sigh. I close my eyes and think about the dream I had. Sasuke's words cut deep even though he didn't actually say them. It seemed so real. The malice in his voice, the hatred in his eyes had, scared me. I look back at Sasuke. Our eyes meet and again, I see the hatred flash in his eyes. I know I imagining it but I still believe it. I flinch and turn back around. Tears blur my vision. Does he really hate me or is my imagination running wild? I mess with the bandage covering my wrist. For some reason it reminds me of the dream.
Flashback
"Sakura…" She won't look at me. She can't force herself to. She bends down and tightens the ropes. I hiss in pain as more blood comes pouring from my wrists. She finishes and backs away, tears stream down her face. Tears start to fall from my eyes too. "Why won't you look at me?" I yell at her. She just shakes her head and runs away.
End Flashback
Why wouldn't she look at me? I look over at Sakura. She is writing furiously, covering her paper so Ino couldn't copy from her. She looks up and sees me staring at her. She immediately lowers her eyes and works even faster. I groan and hit my head on my desk. I still absently play with my bandage. I look down at it. It is stained dark red. Crap. I raise my hand. "Uh, sir, I'm bleeding. Can I go to the restroom and clean it up?" Ibiki scowls and nods. He has one of the Anbu guards sitting around the room escort me. He leads me to the bathroom and stands outside the door. "Hurry up," he grunts. I just nod and enter.
I study myself in the mirror. I look thin and gaunt. I haven't been eating much and the cutting hasn't helped. I sigh and slowly unwrap the bandage. The cuts have reopened and they are bleeding heavily. I quickly run it under running water. The blood goes down the drain mixing with the water, diluting it. It fascinates me. I don't why but I can't pry my eyes away. I fell a sinking feeling and my wrist begins to throb. I pull out a kunai again. This time no one is here to stop me. I lay the sharp edge against my wrist. I pull it across making a very superficial cut. I didn't want it to bleed too much. It feels good. The dream flies from my thoughts and a sweet ecstasy fills my senses. I grab the counter before my knees give. The pleasure slowly slips away and I'm left holding on to a counter with a dead feeling inside. I sigh. It never lasts very long, no matter what I do. I rinse my wrist again and bandage it. The cuts I made last night are still partially open. I have scars running the length of my left arm. I sigh again and head to the door. Before I open it, somebody else does. It's Kankuro. "Hey Uzumaki," he greeted. "You done yet? Ibiki is getting mad." I nod and a thought hits me. "How do you know my name? I never told it to you." Kankuro just smirks. "I have my ways. You better go before Ibiki says you're, unworthy, to finish the exam." I freeze to the spot and stare at him. Did he know about the dream? How? I haven't told anyone. Kankuro's face doesn't give away anything nor did his eyes show any emotion. I leave and go back to my desk. "Nice to have ya back Uzumaki." I heave a sigh of relief. That's how Kankuro knows my name.
The test ends and I haven't answered one of the questions but I pass. At the end of the exam the next proctor, Anko, makes a very strange entrance. Everyone freaks out when she comes flying through the window. Ibiki tells her she was early, she sweatdrops and everyone laughs. She tells us we are to meet her the next morning at a forest outside the village made especially for the exams. She finally shuts up and we leave. I follow Sasuke and Sakura out but don't speak to them. I can still picture the hatred in Sasuke's eyes and the fear in Sakura's. I keep my eyes to the floor and leave the building. I give my teammates a small wave to say goodbye but otherwise say nothing. We part and head to our own homes. When I reach mine I collapse on my bed and stare blankly at the ceiling. "Do they really hate me?" I ask my ceiling. The more I think about it the more the sinking felling inside me intensifies. It bubbles and rolls around in the pit of my stomach until I can't take it anymore. I get up and walk into my bathroom. I take off my jacket and shirt. I stare down at my bandage for a second. Again, it is red and sticky with blood. I slowly unwrap the bandage and stare at the crimson cuts on my are. All of them are horizontal, across the vein not down. After all I didn't want to kill myself when I started this addicting but painful habit. Tonight, I do want to die. I now believe all the insults and my suicidal imagination. They all say I am unworthy to be Hokage because of the demon. The never got to know me before they said that.
I grab the razor and set it on the vein, poised, ready to end it all. I take a deep breath and think about what I was doing. Do I really want to die? No, screamed the sane and rational part of me but the other half, the suicidal sadistic side won. Do it, the voice coaxed. They can't look down on you if you're dead. They'll regret ever insulting you and everything else they did to you. It convinces me. I grip the razor tighter and pull it down my arm slowly, adding pressure every inch. At first, I feel only pain but as I keep going, pain is replaced by pleasure. I reach my elbow and can no longer hold the razor. It is what I want; to see the sanguine fluid flowing out of my body, coating the floor in it's sticky brilliance. I faint. The last thing I see is a pair of concerned dark eyes peering at me from above. I then fall into darkness, to never wake again.
"Naruto," Sasuke yells as he reaches the blondes limp body. He leans over just as Naruto's eyes close, the bright happiness replaced by a dark sorrow. "Naruto what have you done?" he whispers as he lays the boys head in his lap. "What would make you do such a thing? Don't you know we care about you?" Sasuke looks at Naruto's arm. The deep slash is still seeping blood as the boy's heart slows to a mournful stop. "Why did you do this?" he yells at the corpse laying on his legs. "Why I-I need you Naruto!" Tears fall onto the blonde's closed eyelids. Sasuke hopefully looks for movement but in vain. A scream of rage and sorrow rises from the Uchiha's bosom. More tears fall and he can no longer see his surroundings. He sits in Naruto's bathroom with the dead blonde in his lap for hours screaming until Kakashi comes. He takes one look at the scene and begins crying also. He didn't know that the blonde maverick he had come to love was doing such vulgar things. He gently pulls Sasuke out of the bathroom and sets him on the couch. Sasuke collapses in a sobbing heap screaming, "Why?" Kakashi wipes away his own tears and leaves to inform the Hokage of the tragic loss.
It is a cold bleak day. It's Naruto's funeral. Not many people show up. In front, closest to the casket is Sasuke hanging on to his sensei as he cries endlessly. Next to them is Sakura and Ino. They both stand solemnly next to each other with quiet sobs shaking their shoulders. Behind is Neji, Lee and Ten-Ten, each with a look of total sadness permanently placed on their faces. Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro stand a few feet away watching the sad scene. Kankuro's face shows no emotion though his eyes betray his actions. They are fill with regret, regret for the way he'd treated the blonde shinobi the short time he had known him. Temari stands by him with a single black rose clutched in her hand. She hadn't really gotten to know the boy but she sympathized with group. She also knows what it's like to lose someone you care for. A single tear falls down her cheek and on to the dark petals of the rose as she walks up to the casket. She returns to her spot and stares at the ground. Gaara stands behind her with a confused look. Why are they so sad? People die all the time, he asks himself. The group pay there last respects and leave letting the people who knew him best, grieve alone. Sasuke, Kakashi, and Sakura all say something about him and then lower the casket. It's buried and the tombstone is set into place. Engraved upon the stone in cold block letters is:
Uzumaki Naruto
Maverick, Shinobi,
Hero of Konoha
THE END
Did you like it? Well if you did review or whatever. I would like some feedback on my first one-shotty thingy.